Personally, I would not ponder on it for too long. Even if you told him directly that you felt offended by the way he talked to you, he could only apologize and probably tell you he wasn't trying to be mean, but its unlikely that he will make you change your opinion about him, or that he will prove to you that there was no reason to feel offended. Just try to keep your conversations as few as possible and give him a genuine reaction when he says something that offends you again. Just communicate how what he says makes you feel, even stop him for a moment and tell him how he was being rude. — stimulate 7 secs ago
12:15 AM
#21774 stimulate (258 rep) | Q: How do I inform my boss that he offended me? (score: 2) | posted 31 hours ago by Rama (111 rep) | edited 17 hours ago by Rama (111 rep) | Toxicity 0.20376994 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21770 ooOOooK (298 rep) | Q: How can I get my wife to be less spendthrift? (score: 1) | posted 47 hours ago by NiceGuy (11 rep) | edited 41 hours ago by Ælis (6105 rep) | Toxicity 0.04518821 | tps/fps: 0/0
5 hours later…
5:23 AM
@gparyani you should stop bossing people around like you own the place, and not just on IPS meta. It's getting annoying and it's not doing you any favors. As for an obviously fake question I agree with Em's post too: not worth it. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 57 secs ago
#3668 Tinkeringbell (22270 rep) | A: Creating a question for use in the Tour page (score: 3) | posted 9 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (22270 rep) | Toxicity 0.64689267 | tps/fps: 0/0
5:46 AM
Sorry if you felt bossed or annoyed by my previous words; that was not my intent and I honestly apologize if it came across that way to you. I was just saying that it would be great if you also posted an answer there, because that post fooled me into thinking that the established community consensus is that the generic question is bad for the tour. But if you don't want to, you don't have to :) — gparyani 24 secs ago
#3668 gparyani (834 rep) | A: Creating a question for use in the Tour page (score: 3) | posted 9 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (22270 rep) | Toxicity 0.2052793 | tps/fps: 0/0
5:56 AM
@stimulate We came to the college 2 years ago. Same batch. Same hall for two years. — ankiiiiiii 44 secs ago
#21776 ankiiiiiii (101 rep) | Q: Someone else using my cooler without my permission (score: 0) | posted 34 hours ago by ankiiiiiii (101 rep) | edited 23 hours ago by ankiiiiiii (101 rep) | Toxicity 0.04992367 | tps/fps: 0/0
I appreciate your answer, but as my comment above says that he is not new here, the second quote is, I'm afraid, not helpful. I would mark it the answer if you might extend the last paragraph on how to respond if they tell me: you are already using a cooler in your room. Why do you need to take this back? OR can we please use it for summers only since you already have one. || Should I warn them against possible damages to pump and motor (which is common due to poor quality water)(I paid 500 rupees for the fan motor two months ago). Should I ask them to pay me after summers if something breaks. — ankiiiiiii 23 secs ago
#21782 ankiiiiiii (101 rep) | A: Someone else using my cooler without my permission (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by ooOOooK (298 rep) | Toxicity 0.14793192 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21782 ankiiiiiii (101 rep) | A: Someone else using my cooler without my permission (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by ooOOooK (298 rep) | Toxicity 0.07550869 | tps/fps: 0/0
6:22 AM
@Ælis After the edits I think it is worth reopening and this was what I also saw during my school days. — ankiiiiiii 2 mins ago
#21722 ankiiiiiii (101 rep) | Q: How do I stop my classmates from overusing class property? (score: 0) | posted 7 days ago by Osprey (51 rep) | edited 21 hours ago by Ælis (6106 rep) | Toxicity 0.12878846 | tps/fps: 0/0
1 hour later…
7:37 AM
#21787 Rama (116 rep) | A: How do I inform my boss that he offended me? (score: 2) | posted 17 minutes ago by virolino (512 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by virolino (512 rep) | Toxicity 0.16807887 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21787 virolino (512 rep) | A: How do I inform my boss that he offended me? (score: 2) | posted 21 minutes ago by virolino (512 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by virolino (512 rep) | Toxicity 0.12578593 | tps/fps: 0/0
1 hour later…
8:53 AM
Welcome to IPS! Unfortunately, the questions you are asking right now have primarily opinion-based answers. However, you can edit your question and ask instead something like: "how can I make these people understand that I'm genuinely interested in what they are doing and want to know more?" — Ælis 38 secs ago
#21781 Ælis (6106 rep) | Q: How to deal with "why not" as a response to the a why question? (score: 1) | posted 11 hours ago by user24342 (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.094036 | tps/fps: 0/0
Welcome to IPS, I'm sorry for your loss and the feelings you are going through right now. Note that we can't decide for you if you should talk to the wife. However, if you do wish to do that, you can edit your question and ask something like: "How can I clarify things with his wife without aggravating her pain/make her angry at me?" (or anything else you want to avoid when clarifying things with his wife) — Ælis 1 min ago
#21788 Ælis (6106 rep) | Q: Seeking closure over someone I have unblocked but whom I learned have passed on (score: 1) | posted 22 minutes ago by Regrets (6 rep) | edited 35 seconds ago by Regrets (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.098245054 | tps/fps: 0/0
@ankiiiiiii The general advice is still sound : talk to the roommate, assume there was some miscommunication and give them the benefit of the doubt (to avoid the roommate become defensive). As for all the scenarios you proposed, the cooler is your property so it should be enough, it's up to you to figure out what you want to do and what compromise you're willing to make. Once you decide those, talk to the roommate. — MlleMei just now
#21782 MlleMei (1002 rep) | A: Someone else using my cooler without my permission (score: 1) | posted 9 hours ago by ooOOooK (328 rep) | Toxicity 0.04804857 | tps/fps: 0/0
10:00 AM
#21792 Ælis (6106 rep) | A: How can I get my wife to be less spendthrift? (score: 1) | posted 3 minutes ago by MlleMei (1022 rep) | Toxicity 0.07325819 | tps/fps: 0/0
10:50 AM
Hi! I cast the last vote to put this question on-hold: As you can see in our help center pages, we can't really tell you if your thoughts are justified, instead please focus your question on resolving your issue, instead of asking us if there is one. As for witty responses, they are too opinion based to be a good fit for this site. If you could clarify a clear goal, we can help you find a way of addressing this, though it's going to need more details like what these people are doing or what you've tried as a response before. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#21781 Tinkeringbell (22270 rep) | Q: How to deal with "why not" as a response to the a why question? (score: 2) | posted 13 hours ago by user24342 (11 rep) | Toxicity 0.0644549 | tps/fps: 0/0
1 hour later…
11:59 AM
Without trying to discount your personal experience, not all absentmindedness is an effect of already being overburdened in other aspects of life. It's certainly one possible cause, but definitely not the only one. There are plenty of people who simply live a less attentive life (and I say that without being negative!) — Flater 51 secs ago
#21772 Flater (5872 rep) | A: How can I tell my wife to pay more attention to everything without sounding condescending or rude? (score: 2) | posted 45 hours ago by ooOOooK (338 rep) | Toxicity 0.12709726 | tps/fps: 0/0
12:36 PM
#21783 sleske (507 rep) | A: How can I talk with my friend/co-worker about that fact that learning about his relationship upset me? (score: 2) | posted 12 hours ago by ooOOooK (346 rep) | Toxicity 0.07468711 | tps/fps: 0/0
12:47 PM
#21796 XtremeBaumer (2106 rep) | Q: Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by Ælis (6105 rep) | Toxicity 0.10289141 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21796 Ælis (6105 rep) | Q: Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by Ælis (6105 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Ælis (6105 rep) | Toxicity 0.2432106 | tps/fps: 0/0
1:09 PM
Without trying to discount your personal experience, not all absentmindedness is an effect of already being overburdened in other aspects of life. It's certainly one possible cause, but definitely not the only one. There are plenty of people who simply live a less attentive life (and I say that without being negative!)
blaming your wife for not being the perfect robot you thought There is a vast distance between expecting a perfect robot and expecting common avoidance of fire hazards. I'm a bit apprehensive of the general "fix it on your own [and leave her be]" attitude of the answer given. — Flater 1 min ago
#21772 Flater (5882 rep) | A: How can I tell my wife to pay more attention to everything without sounding condescending or rude? (score: 1) | posted 46 hours ago by ooOOooK (346 rep) | Toxicity 0.2311801 | tps/fps: 0/0
1:42 PM
This answer doesn't really address the stated goal of the question which is "I'd like to know how I can talk to him about my feelings without jeopardizing our friendship". The OP isn't looking for ways handle or deal with his feelings, he's looking for conversational skills. While we do allow for frame challenges, our guidelines for them do ask that the frame challenge still work towards the goal of the question. — Rainbacon 44 secs ago
#21791 Rainbacon (4426 rep) | A: How can I talk with my friend/co-worker about that fact that learning about his relationship upset me? (score: 0) | posted 4 hours ago by MlleMei (1080 rep) | Toxicity 0.073081635 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21799 Federico (1023 rep) | Q: When walking in public, has someone ever suddenly decided to jump into your path? (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by psung4ever (1 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by psung4ever (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.16932364 | tps/fps: 0/0
@Rainbacon I understand, but then by that same standard the upvoted answer should also be pinged to expand on that. It's a good answer, I upvoted it, but it doesn't answer that question : it reassures the OP about their feelings, says that they can talk about it with their friend (without giving advice on how to have that conversation) and encourages OP to also befriend the boyfriend and get an extra friend out of this. — MlleMei 31 secs ago
#21791 MlleMei (1080 rep) | A: How can I talk with my friend/co-worker about that fact that learning about his relationship upset me? (score: 0) | posted 4 hours ago by MlleMei (1080 rep) | Toxicity 0.052399028 | tps/fps: 0/0
@Rainbacon If we should answer the question "how I can talk to him about my feelings without jeopardizing our friendship", basically I said "It's very difficult to, so I wouldn't try it" and Mister Anderson said "Depending on your relationship, you may try". There's no advice on how. Could you explain to me what is the difference where I should change my answer and not Mister Anderson ? (Not trying to be difficult, I genuinely want to know, because to me that post has the same issue as mine) — MlleMei 1 min ago
#21791 MlleMei (1080 rep) | A: How can I talk with my friend/co-worker about that fact that learning about his relationship upset me? (score: 0) | posted 4 hours ago by MlleMei (1080 rep) | Toxicity 0.07248941 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21774 Flater (5882 rep) | Q: How do I inform my boss that he offended me? (score: 3) | posted 45 hours ago by Rama (116 rep) | edited 31 hours ago by Rama (116 rep) | Toxicity 0.32156056 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hi psung4ever, welcome to IPS! As Federico mentioned, your question is not about interpersonal skills as defined in the help center. The purpose of this site is for questions and answers about how to interact with other people. We could help you with the skills you need to talk to this person about their actions. If you would like help with that you can always edit your question. — Rainbacon 54 secs ago
#21799 Rainbacon (4426 rep) | Q: When walking in public, has someone ever suddenly decided to jump into your path? (score: 0) | posted 24 minutes ago by psung4ever (1 rep) | edited 15 minutes ago by psung4ever (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.07353616 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21798 MlleMei (1079 rep) | A: Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject (score: -2) | posted 44 minutes ago by virolino (504 rep) | edited 38 minutes ago by virolino (504 rep) | Toxicity 0.10488673 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21798 virolino (504 rep) | A: Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject (score: -2) | posted 47 minutes ago by virolino (504 rep) | edited 41 minutes ago by virolino (504 rep) | Toxicity 0.20777242 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21798 MlleMei (1079 rep) | A: Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject (score: -2) | posted 48 minutes ago by virolino (504 rep) | edited 42 minutes ago by virolino (504 rep) | Toxicity 0.19553563 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21770 NiceGuy (31 rep) | Q: How can I get my wife to be less spendthrift? (score: 5) | posted 2 days ago by NiceGuy (31 rep) | edited 55 hours ago by Ælis (6114 rep) | Toxicity 0.1871156 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21798 virolino (504 rep) | A: Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject (score: -2) | posted 50 minutes ago by virolino (504 rep) | edited 44 minutes ago by virolino (504 rep) | Toxicity 0.03218202 | tps/fps: 0/0
Did you say something and try to tell her you didn't find this funny the first day ? Or did you laugh with her a bit ? Do you regularly tease each other, and is it in good fun ? — MlleMei 47 secs ago
#21796 MlleMei (1079 rep) | Q: Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by Ælis (6114 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Ælis (6114 rep) | Toxicity 0.25374866 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21796 Ælis (6114 rep) | Q: Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by Ælis (6114 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Ælis (6114 rep) | Toxicity 0.18615116 | tps/fps: 0/0
I only commented on your post because it came up in the review queue. When I have time I can go and look at the other answers to see if they need similar commenting. If you see answers that you think are lacking, you can always flag them. That will put them into a review queue the way yours was. — Rainbacon 2 mins ago
#21791 Rainbacon (4426 rep) | A: How can I talk with my friend/co-worker about that fact that learning about his relationship upset me? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by MlleMei (1079 rep) | Toxicity 0.14990774 | tps/fps: 0/0
#21791 MlleMei (1079 rep) | A: How can I talk with my friend/co-worker about that fact that learning about his relationship upset me? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by MlleMei (1079 rep) | Toxicity 0.08099109 | tps/fps: 0/0
@gparyani I would be wary of reading too much into meta posts that have no other comments or answers; the 6 votes on the answer there could mean anything from "yes, the unicorn question was definitely a problem and we need an IPS-specific question" or simply "sure, that works too, glad the mods responded". — Em C ♦ 48 secs ago
#3668 Em C (9923 rep) | A: Creating a question for use in the Tour page (score: 3) | posted 18 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (22270 rep) | Toxicity 0.06445266 | tps/fps: 0/0
3:42 PM
@Flater the third sentence in my reply addresses your comment. Apparently, I can only give advice about things for which I have some amount of knowledge or direct experience. The rest would be considered opinable and hearsay. — ooOOooK 11 secs ago
#21772 ooOOooK (356 rep) | A: How can I tell my wife to pay more attention to everything without sounding condescending or rude? (score: 1) | posted 49 hours ago by ooOOooK (356 rep) | Toxicity 0.19271787 | tps/fps: 0/0
It's quite possible that she didn't see you. For example, my dad had pretty severe glaucoma, which cut his field of vision down a lot. — DaveG 45 secs ago
#21799 DaveG (5094 rep) | Q: When walking in public, has someone ever suddenly decided to jump into your path? (score: -3) | posted 2 hours ago by psung4ever (1 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by psung4ever (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.10284183 | tps/fps: 0/0
4:28 PM
When you say that you want to clarify things with his wife, what sorts of things are you looking to clarify? Is it the things that happened between you and Jake? The details of his passing? — Rainbacon 39 secs ago
#21788 Rainbacon (4436 rep) | Q: Seeking closure over someone I have unblocked but whom I learned have passed on (score: 3) | posted 7 hours ago by Regrets (16 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Regrets (16 rep) | Toxicity 0.06391582 | tps/fps: 0/0
OP says in the question that talking with their teacher didn't work, do you have any suggestions how to discuss it more effectively or something else they can do? Please also take note of our citation expectations; answers should be backed up with either relevant personal experience or references. — Em C ♦ 20 secs ago
#21795 Em C (9923 rep) | A: How do I stop my classmates from overusing class property? (score: -2) | posted 4 hours ago by virolino (504 rep) | Toxicity 0.04958725 | tps/fps: 0/0
4:48 PM
I made a small edit to remove the "should I" question you added in - it's up to you if you want to ask for money, but if you decide you do want them to pay for use/repairs, you should edit that info in. — Em C ♦ 36 secs ago
#21776 Em C (9923 rep) | Q: Someone else using my cooler without my permission (score: 0) | posted 45 hours ago by ankiiiiiii (101 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Em C (9923 rep) | Toxicity 0.13157988 | tps/fps: 0/0
5:21 PM
This depends a lot on 1. what you told them and 2. the way they say "why not". For example if you ask them why they do something like that the response "why not" can simply mean "I have no idea how else I could do it" or "you sound like it's not a good idea to do it like I do, but why isn't it?". — puck 11 secs ago
#21781 puck (1313 rep) | Q: How to deal with "why not" as a response to the a why question? (score: 2) | posted 20 hours ago by user24342 (11 rep) | Toxicity 0.23609011 | tps/fps: 0/0
5:42 PM
Hi ThoraM, welcome to IPS! We're glad that you want to contribute, but making baseless claims that the OP is ungrateful and disrespectful is not constructive and goes against our policy to respect the premise of the question. If the OP says that their father is this way, we have to accept that their judgement of the situation is correct. Additionally, while you may consider religious upbringing from a cultural standpoint in your answer, this is not the place for religious proselytizing. — Rainbacon 38 secs ago
#21801 Rainbacon (4435 rep) | A: What to say to steer passive-aggressive narcissist parent(s) away from saying guilt-tripping statements to me or other people? (score: -2) | posted 19 minutes ago by ThoraM (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.2901494 | tps/fps: 0/0
2 hours later…
7:14 PM
Note that EmC personally says in her answer that she's NOT for creating a fake question. So saying you agree with her is an overstatement. If you want it, better to create an answer so it can be properly voted. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#3667 Tinkeringbell (22275 rep) | Q: Creating a question for use in the Tour page (score: 1) | posted 23 hours ago by gparyani (834 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by gparyani (834 rep) | Toxicity 0.3316435 | tps/fps: 0/0
Then read the bit just before it. It's still better to put it in an answer, so the votes on the question aren't to be confused with votes on whether or not to actually do this and how. Solutions and ideas go in answers, not questions. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 45 secs ago
#3667 Tinkeringbell (22275 rep) | Q: Creating a question for use in the Tour page (score: 1) | posted 24 hours ago by gparyani (834 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by gparyani (834 rep) | Toxicity 0.06581234 | tps/fps: 0/0
@Tinkeringbell I got a different impression from "I'm posting since this is a discussion to see what people think about it" where "it" refers to the things above the horizontal line. — gparyani 2 mins ago
#3667 gparyani (834 rep) | Q: Creating a question for use in the Tour page (score: 1) | posted 24 hours ago by gparyani (834 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by gparyani (834 rep) | Toxicity 0.24219744 | tps/fps: 0/0
@Tinkeringbell I feel my answer would just be redundant to their answer. The paragraph directly above the horizontal line reads to me as, "this idea would also be an obviously fake question so it would also comply with the points raised in [your] answer". That said, I did leave a comment on their answer to see which interpretation is correct. — gparyani 2 mins ago
#3667 gparyani (834 rep) | Q: Creating a question for use in the Tour page (score: 1) | posted 24 hours ago by gparyani (834 rep) | edited 9 minutes ago by gparyani (834 rep) | Toxicity 0.16277309 | tps/fps: 0/0
1 hour later…
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