Also, what ages are your siblings? Persuading a 30yo and a 3yo are considerably different tasks. — LinuxBlanket 34 secs ago
12:02 AM
#17629 LinuxBlanket (8787 rep) | Q: Asking family members to respect my space (score: 2) | posted 3 hours ago by user20946 (11 rep) | Toxicity 0.10937488
2 hours later…
1:53 AM
@LordFarquaad Randal is definitely right. Several countries (even some non-Muslim ones, such as in Southeast Asia) require a male and female couple to be married in order to share a hotel room. Of course, in North America or Europe, you're extremely unlikely to encounter such a law. — reirab 36 secs ago
#17505 reirab (725 rep) | Q: Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy (score: 66) | posted 5 days ago by Pickle (348 rep) | Toxicity 0.06208672 | edited 4 days ago by Em C (8560 rep)
2:08 AM
@WilliamGrobman you can be respectful without outright asking if you can put your P into her V as suggested by some other answers... — JonathanReez 30 secs ago
#17551 JonathanReez (206 rep) | A: Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy (score: 33) | posted 4 days ago by axsvl77 (1023 rep) | Toxicity 0.12161545 | edited 29 hours ago by axsvl77 (1023 rep)
When did I say otherwise, @JonathanReez? I merely said consent is important and you can't just act like she's asking for it because she came up with you, possibly not wanting to go all the way — William Grobman 1 min ago
#17551 William Grobman (248 rep) | A: Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy (score: 33) | posted 4 days ago by axsvl77 (1023 rep) | Toxicity 0.20051354 | edited 29 hours ago by axsvl77 (1023 rep)
What kind of help are we talking about here? Financial? Small favors? How old are.these people? — apaul 23 secs ago
#17634 apaul (42733 rep) | Q: How can I encourage my boyfriend to stand up to his friends? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by user20951 (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.13029405
#17634 user20951 (6 rep) | Q: How can I encourage my boyfriend to stand up to his friends? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by user20951 (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.11761893
2:52 AM
Note: If <botname> is the only argument, it can be ommitted and the command will be seen by all bots. If <botname> is "*" all bots will repond as though they've been mentioned.
!!/alive <botname> - It'll tell you if it's alive
!!/logsize <botname> - The current sizes of the logs. Occasionally there are disk space issues on the server and thesecretmaster needs to destroy some logs. Ping thesecretmaster if any of the numbers are > 2000MB.
!!/quota <botname> - How much of @Smellys API quota has been used (restarts at 10,000 every 24 hours-ish)
!!/alive <botname> - It'll tell you if it's alive
!!/logsize <botname> - The current sizes of the logs. Occasionally there are disk space issues on the server and thesecretmaster needs to destroy some logs. Ping thesecretmaster if any of the numbers are > 2000MB.
!!/quota <botname> - How much of @Smellys API quota has been used (restarts at 10,000 every 24 hours-ish)
2:58 AM
Note: If <botname> is the only argument, it can be ommitted and the command will be seen by all bots. If <botname> is "*" all bots will repond as though they've been mentioned.
!!/alive <botname> - It'll tell you if it's alive
!!/logsize <botname> - The current sizes of the logs. Occasionally there are disk space issues on the server and thesecretmaster needs to destroy some logs. Ping thesecretmaster if any of the numbers are > 2000MB.
!!/quota <botname> - How much of @Smellys API quota has been used (restarts at 10,000 every 24 hours-ish)
!!/alive <botname> - It'll tell you if it's alive
!!/logsize <botname> - The current sizes of the logs. Occasionally there are disk space issues on the server and thesecretmaster needs to destroy some logs. Ping thesecretmaster if any of the numbers are > 2000MB.
!!/quota <botname> - How much of @Smellys API quota has been used (restarts at 10,000 every 24 hours-ish)
Note: If <botname> is the only argument, it can be ommitted and the command will be seen by all bots. If <botname> is "*" all bots will repond as though they've been mentioned.
!!/alive <botname> - It'll tell you if it's alive
!!/logsize <botname> - The current sizes of the logs. Occasionally there are disk space issues on the server and thesecretmaster needs to destroy some logs. Ping thesecretmaster if any of the numbers are > 2000MB.
!!/quota <botname> - How much of @Smellys API quota has been used (restarts at 10,000 every 24 hours-ish)
!!/alive <botname> - It'll tell you if it's alive
!!/logsize <botname> - The current sizes of the logs. Occasionally there are disk space issues on the server and thesecretmaster needs to destroy some logs. Ping thesecretmaster if any of the numbers are > 2000MB.
!!/quota <botname> - How much of @Smellys API quota has been used (restarts at 10,000 every 24 hours-ish)
npm ERR! code ELIFECYCLE npm ERR! errno 1 npm ERR! so-chatbot@0.2.0 build: `node build.js` npm ERR! Exit status 1 npm ERR! npm ERR! Failed at the so-chatbot@0.2.0 build script. npm ERR! This is probably not a problem with npm. There is likely additional logging output above. npm WARN Local package.json exists, but node_modules missing, did you mean to install?
3:12 AM
Moderation of what kind? IPSBot here scans comments and then reports them in the main IPS chat room for review if they match any of the conditions we've got set up. There are also all sorts of other bots, from SmokeDetector for spam in CharcoalHQ to all the various awesomeness that goes on in SOBotics.
3:18 AM
3:34 AM
So, the first thing to know about chat bots is that everything about them is reverse-engineered and often messy because SE doesn't officially support bots or provide things like a chat API.
To scan the whole site, most bots use the websocket that's used on this page: stackexchange.com/questions?tab=realtime
7 hours later…
11:34 AM
@thesecretmaster Just took a look at the websockst api for JS. Seems pretty simple. I could probably figure out how to create a command based bot.
4 hours later…
Yeah I figured that's where I screwed up! ;) very valuable answer for helping to clarify that though. There probably was a little quid-pro-quo thought loitering at the back of my mind gribbling around when I said that part, but I'm reflective enough to recognise that for the nasty little bugger it is once I've had a think about it. I'll have to keep a watch out for that one... — Ynneadwraith 1 min ago
#17647 Ynneadwraith (116 rep) | A: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 0) | posted 57 minutes ago by AHamilton (2192 rep) | Toxicity 0.46095464
I second @Ruadhan2300. She understands your intent by the first line - any qualifiers after that aren't going to make her more or less likely to accept. Further, the longer you keep qualifying, the more insecure you seem. — Daniel R. Livingston 1 min ago
#17511 Daniel R. Livingston (647 rep) | A: Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy (score: 10) | posted 5 days ago by Stilez (1610 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409
@AnthonyGrist Yeah that's probably the bit that I minced, although it's probably fully accurate to how I was feeling at the time. I make a point of being as generous as possible to the people I like, including sharing the stuff I have. I do feel a little hurt that it doesn't seem to be reciprocated, given how much effort I've put into it. It's not a feeling I'm keen on feeding as you can get really petty about that kind of stuff and as is pretty evident you tend to get unconstructive responses from it! — Ynneadwraith 6 mins ago
#17642 Ynneadwraith (116 rep) | Q: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by Ynneadwraith (116 rep) | Toxicity 0.15284777 | edited 3 hours ago by Lord Farquaad (2045 rep)
"I mentioned that it'd mean if we wanted to borrow one of his tools it'd be more effort for him to come and unlock it, so would he be happy with that, given how freely and happily I share my tools." What was the reason for saying "given how freely and happily I share my tools"? I think that's probably the reason you got the reaction you did. That's not really relevant to the point you were trying to discuss, so it could have been viewed as an accusation ("I'm being so nice by letting you borrow my tools when you want, so you're a jerk for not doing the same.") — Anthony Grist 27 mins ago
#17642 Anthony Grist (103 rep) | Q: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by Ynneadwraith (116 rep) | Toxicity 0.4401009 | edited 3 hours ago by Lord Farquaad (2045 rep)
My husband and I went through this stage when I got sick of always being accused of having been the one to misunderstand what was said. — WendyG 37 mins ago
#17645 WendyG (2344 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 6) | posted 1 hours ago by Upper_Case (6294 rep) | Toxicity 0.14878596 | edited 53 minutes ago by Upper_Case (6294 rep)
For 8 months, I don't feel this thing happens like each day, but every 2 months seems a bit too often. — FutureEngineer 1 hour ago
#17641 FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 4) | posted 4 hours ago by FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Toxicity 0.16567223
One should add that the stretching effect is independant of the angle or distance you can reach. Tutors do better, farther, wider... you don't have to reach the same distance or angle, just do it at all. — puck 1 hour ago
#17636 puck (755 rep) | A: Declining to do exercises I think are unsafe without making a scene (score: 7) | posted 11 hours ago by puck (755 rep) | Toxicity 0.05689134 | edited 5 hours ago by Jan Doggen (297 rep)
@XtremeBaumer there's a line between "feel something" and "hurt". When stretching, you should certainly feel some pulling and stretching, but you shouldn't be feeling a lot of pain. — DaveG 2 hours ago
#17636 DaveG (1364 rep) | A: Declining to do exercises I think are unsafe without making a scene (score: 7) | posted 11 hours ago by puck (755 rep) | Toxicity 0.16239308 | edited 5 hours ago by Jan Doggen (297 rep)
Stretches have to "hurt". Depending on your goal that pain can be more or less. I personally go as far as I can whenever I stretch. If you want to stretch without feeling anything, then you can skip stretching all together — XtremeBaumer 2 hours ago
#17636 XtremeBaumer (1670 rep) | A: Declining to do exercises I think are unsafe without making a scene (score: 7) | posted 11 hours ago by puck (755 rep) | Toxicity 0.11367091 | edited 5 hours ago by Jan Doggen (297 rep)
#17641 TheRealLester (6127 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 4) | posted 4 hours ago by FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Toxicity 0.056394637
Cracking advice, and sort of on the lines of what was bubbling up through my head as I was typing the question. Sort of a 'maybe he has a point', thought. I like the lead by example option as well as that lets me keep what I try to foster in myself (unwavering generosity to the people I like). — Ynneadwraith 3 hours ago
#17643 Ynneadwraith (116 rep) | A: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 3) | posted 2 hours ago by Astralbee (16503 rep) | Toxicity 0.06402522 | edited 2 hours ago by Astralbee (16503 rep)
IIRC this thing happened like 4 times in our relationship. Considering myself quite rational it affects me badly. After the initial refusal, I admit if I made a mistake and apologize. She has a different personality, she'd rather try to explain and defend her position, but then laugh at herself realizing her argument is incredible, this happened multiple times. I wouldn't mind her not saying, only realizing she was wrong, as long as she doesn't cling to false statements so strong. — FutureEngineer 3 hours ago
#17641 FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 4) | posted 4 hours ago by FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Toxicity 0.23043711
Why do you think times solves your problems if the problem you are having keeps reoccurring to the point where you ask in an online forum about it? Do you ever fight and you realize that it was your fault or at least partially your fault later? How do you two talk then? — Raditz_35 3 hours ago
#17641 Raditz_35 (189 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 4) | posted 4 hours ago by FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Toxicity 0.2744955
I'd like to point out that as I read it (from your comments) you don't ACTUALLY believe she has burnout. You've already accepted the possibility, but haven't come to a decision yet, and sorta lean the other way. I believe it's a bit of a problem, because it's kinda difficult to deal with a thing when you don't really believe it exists. But maybe I'm wrong ;) — Misamoto 3 hours ago
#17604 Misamoto (101 rep) | Q: How can I talk with my friend about her burn out problems when I disagree with some things she says? (score: 7) | posted 53 hours ago by Caroline (136 rep) | Toxicity 0.1209318 | edited 49 hours ago by Caroline (136 rep)
@Raditz_35 We don't. We don't speak for some short time, it seems like time solves the problems... I usually try to talk about the fight, but occasionally she shuts it down with a "you just look for arguments" sentence. Sometimes she knows she was wrong, sometimes she doesn't. If she doesn't, she can't take any criticism at all. Other than this thing I like her and our relationship. — FutureEngineer 3 hours ago
#17641 FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 4) | posted 4 hours ago by FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409
@Colonder Thank you. And sure, I get that "stupidity" is not something we want to surround ourselves with. There are some things that scream naivety when you look into their origins, like homeopathy; but don't be quick to dismiss everything that doesn't fit into a test-tube. — Astralbee 3 hours ago
#17639 Astralbee (16503 rep) | A: How can I ask a stranger who I'd be living with if he believes in weird things? (score: 4) | posted 6 hours ago by Astralbee (16513 rep) | Toxicity 0.19370097 | edited 6 hours ago by Astralbee (16513 rep)
@TheRealLester We drove to a small town. Previously I explained some things we could do: walk at the riverbank or main street, visit a really old church, buy local specialities or eat in the must-see restaurant of the town. After arriving as we were thirsty, we parked the car and went to buy drinks from a grocery store. Exiting the store I asked her what she wanted to do, as we could just leave the car there. She forgot everyting and asked me why I brought her to such a boring place. Tried debating that and listing everything again, but she was unpersuadable. We drove to another town we liked. — FutureEngineer 3 hours ago
#17641 FutureEngineer (26 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 5) | posted 4 hours ago by FutureEngineer (31 rep) | Toxicity 0.11032902
#17641 Raditz_35 (189 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 5) | posted 4 hours ago by FutureEngineer (31 rep) | Toxicity 0.1180932
Just to add to this, the way to avoid creepy is to keep it light. I'd recommend getting the question out of the way relatively early on (after you have established a rapport/connection of course) so you don't spend the whole night stressing about it. Say "Hey, do you want to stay at my hotel tonight"? The intent of this is obvious but you've avoided directly mentioning sex and it gives her an easy out - if she says "Ah, I can't, because <reasons>", then she's politely declined your offer in a way that could be taken as "it's not convenient" rather than "I don't want to sleep with you". — Max Williams 4 hours ago
#17509 Max Williams (101 rep) | A: Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy (score: 183) | posted 6 days ago by Andrew (3947 rep) | Toxicity 0.33633846 | edited 3 days ago by Andrew (3947 rep)
Have you done research on the stretches? You may find research that states the stretches are good for you, or that they can destroy your leg. I don't know what the stretches are so I can't comment on which one is true, however. — TheRealLester 4 hours ago
#17635 TheRealLester (6127 rep) | Q: Declining to do exercises I think are unsafe without making a scene (score: 5) | posted 12 hours ago by wantingtoclean (43 rep) | Toxicity 0.13541605 | edited 3 hours ago by TheRealLester (6127 rep)
You don't need to add these to the question, but what other examples do you have of this situation happening? — TheRealLester 4 hours ago
#17641 TheRealLester (6127 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 5) | posted 4 hours ago by FutureEngineer (31 rep) | Toxicity 0.055869315
I appreciate this answer as well. Indeed, yoga itself doesn't bother me at all, even the house as you put it "full of pseudo-spiritual stuff", which in fact, the house of my current homeowner is exactly that. I have many friends from different cultures and backgrounds but the only thing that I'm allergic to, regardless of the person, is stupidity. I can handle people talking weird stuff but claiming (while being sober) that we can walk through the walls is just too much for me. — Colonder 5 hours ago
#17639 Colonder (118 rep) | A: How can I ask a stranger who I'd be living with if he believes in weird things? (score: 4) | posted 6 hours ago by Astralbee (16513 rep) | Toxicity 0.60783094 | edited 6 hours ago by Astralbee (16513 rep)
You said that he complains to you often, has he every confronted or mentioned (even as a off-handed comment) this to his friends in the past? If so how did they react? — Violet Flare 7 hours ago
#17634 Violet Flare (1269 rep) | Q: How can I encourage my boyfriend to stand up to his friends? (score: 5) | posted 14 hours ago by user20951 (26 rep) | Toxicity 0.10501954
@Marzipanherz: In the Netherlands we're very much for splitting costs (even when going on a date!). She feels like she should carry some of the costs they are making for the house, insurances, groceries, etc. Without job she doesn't have an income and thus cannot contribute. This is why she feels she has the right to government support, to pay her part. However, government support is based on the family (same address), not individual income. Doesn't matter if the income is 50/50 or 80/20 or 100/0. She wants "her own" money. — Caroline 7 hours ago
#17604 Caroline (136 rep) | Q: How can I talk with my friend about her burn out problems when I disagree with some things she says? (score: 7) | posted 53 hours ago by Caroline (136 rep) | Toxicity 0.085049644 | edited 49 hours ago by Caroline (136 rep)
I appreciate you take the time to answer my question. The suggestion to talk with Joe is a good one. As I live too far away to speak with her on a daily basis, he is in a better position. I do believe Joe is worried as well, as I know he has called her mom for advice. She is already going to a psychologist and having group therapy, but she's not doing the homework assignments. Perhaps conveying my concerns to him is best, he also in a better position to judge if she 'actually tries'. Thank you. — Caroline 7 hours ago
#17627 Caroline (136 rep) | A: How can I talk with my friend about her burn out problems when I disagree with some things she says? (score: 0) | posted 23 hours ago by DaveG (1364 rep) | Toxicity 0.07695232
Hey Kitsune and welcome to IPS :) Could you elaborate a bit more on why you think this is the best idea? As it is, it's quite a short answer and it's not backed up with any personal experience or the like so it may get deleted. Thanks! — Chilly 33 secs ago
#17648 Chilly (1035 rep) | A: How to tell my friend I don't want to talk religion every chance he gets? (score: 0) | posted 17 minutes ago by Kitsune (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.24198359
"Some people are stubborn or refuse to accept they are wrong, so fighting back never helps" - This is a very important statement. As a stubbornly logical person myself, I've learned this the hard way too many times. Simply put, the more you press with facts, the more people will dig in their heels and fight back. I suggest reading the following: heleo.com/facts-dont-change-peoples-minds-heres/16242 and bigthink.com/think-tank/… — stephennmcdonald 20 secs ago
#17646 stephennmcdonald (101 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by and a dot (581 rep) | Toxicity 0.2835716
4:22 PM
#17646 and a dot (581 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by and a dot (581 rep) | Toxicity 0.031381294
4:49 PM
Referring to it as sexual harassment when dealing with an autistic is perhaps a bit ablest. He may not have the mental capacity to realize what he's doing. — Don Thermidor_Lobster Mobster 1 min ago
#17652 Don Thermidor_Lobster Mobster (6380 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: 0) | posted 43 minutes ago by cpoo (172 rep) | Toxicity 0.64452356
#17652 cpoo (182 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: 1) | posted 50 minutes ago by cpoo (182 rep) | Toxicity 0.39853278
That's a huge bomb to drop on someone who may not even understand the context. this can have HUGE CONSEQUENCES — Don Thermidor_Lobster Mobster 44 secs ago
#17652 Don Thermidor_Lobster Mobster (6380 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: 1) | posted 55 minutes ago by zanahorias (182 rep) | Toxicity 0.23979379
5:33 PM
#17654 TheRealLester (6127 rep) | Q: My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering (score: 0) | posted 23 minutes ago by mrfolkblues (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.10522604
5:50 PM
Some people, self included, move in circles where dating and intimate choices are not based on the apparent confidence of a likeable asker, but on their apparent consideration of autonomy, disclosure, emotional honesty, whether they would be willing to go so far and not get forceful/abusive if it didn't feel right to do everything, and so on. The trope of "confidence is all" which poses a mostly-passjve askee, is not how it always goes. On this one, with the number of successful responses obtained, I can only say: try it. You'd be surprised how often the "expected" way fails by comparison. — Stilez 17 secs ago
#17511 Stilez (1610 rep) | A: Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy (score: 10) | posted 6 days ago by Stilez (1610 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409
You should also note the OP's emphasis - not "how do I ask" but without sounding creepy. Which may hint that usual approaches could be insufficient or come over as suspect. Yes. They can and do at times. The OP seems to be looking for alternatives that carry lower risk of it. You aren't offering g them. — Stilez 1 min ago
#17511 Stilez (1610 rep) | A: Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy (score: 10) | posted 6 days ago by Stilez (1610 rep) | Toxicity 0.3667098
This sounds good, but based on experience from many years ago with a tight housing market in a college town, there simply isn't time to get to know a potential landlord before renting. Usually there are three other people checking out the same location and if it looks good at a decent price, it will be gone rapidly. — DaveG 1 min ago
#17631 DaveG (1364 rep) | A: How can I ask a stranger who I'd be living with if he believes in weird things? (score: 9) | posted 20 hours ago by BFG95 (1922 rep) | Toxicity 0.04924049
#17642 Azor Ahai (240 rep) | Q: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 7) | posted 5 hours ago by Ynneadwraith (136 rep) | Toxicity 0.13908778 | edited 5 hours ago by Lord Farquaad (2045 rep)
#17645 FreeMan (101 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 13) | posted 3 hours ago by Upper_Case (6372 rep) | Toxicity 0.116454296 | edited 38 minutes ago by Upper_Case (6372 rep)
@DaveG I understand that, I just recently graduated and my college town also had a cut-throat housing market. I tried to focus mainly on a more pacifist approach to this question rather than suggest OP should try to find other options — BFG95 18 secs ago
#17631 BFG95 (1922 rep) | A: How can I ask a stranger who I'd be living with if he believes in weird things? (score: 9) | posted 21 hours ago by BFG95 (1922 rep) | Toxicity 0.025505548
6:36 PM
@zanahorias 98% of the time I agree with your statements and would not give the perpetrator in question a moment of my sympathy, but this is one of those 2% cases where the person who is perpetrating probably doesn't understand at all. While his behavior may still fit the definition of 'harassment', I think there are more gentle ways to try to lead someone on the spectrum to an appropriate conclusion. So... i don't think you're explicitly wrong, but I think there are better ways here. — Jess K. 1 min ago
#17652 Jess K. (16934 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by zanahorias (186 rep) | Toxicity 0.20335722
#17659 Em C (8561 rep) | A: How can I talk with my friend about her burn out problems when I disagree with some things she says? (score: -2) | posted 13 minutes ago by Elliot (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.074289486
6:42 PM
#17642 DonQuiKong (358 rep) | Q: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 7) | posted 6 hours ago by Ynneadwraith (136 rep) | Toxicity 0.13521533 | edited 6 hours ago by Lord Farquaad (2045 rep)
I would consider earplugs except that I suffer from tinnitus and wearing earplugs just seems to amplify the ringing. — mrfolkblues 6 secs ago
#17654 mrfolkblues (1 rep) | Q: My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by mrfolkblues (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.13127396
@Misamoto Caroline is trying to deal with her friend having lots of difficulty, mentally and perhaps physically. She seems to have low energy and in some sense isn't capable of even simple chores. Why this is the case, no one knows. Her friend feels "burnt out" but that isn't a medical diagnosis. — DaveG 57 secs ago
#17604 DaveG (1364 rep) | Q: How can I talk with my friend about her burn out problems when I disagree with some things she says? (score: 7) | posted 56 hours ago by Caroline (136 rep) | Toxicity 0.46095464 | edited 52 hours ago by Caroline (136 rep)
Also not 'IPS advice': Turn on a radio or the TV and leave it on low volume, now when you sleep there will be ambient noise that reduces the peak noise levels making sudden sounds relatively quieter. — Rob 56 secs ago
#17654 Rob (712 rep) | Q: My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by mrfolkblues (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.30494806
Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Arwen Undómiel 2 mins ago
#17654 Arwen Undómiel (2106 rep) | Q: My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by mrfolkblues (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.054679625
7:06 PM
@JessK. I see where you're coming from. What would be your suggestion of "better ways"? — zanahorias 51 secs ago
#17652 zanahorias (293 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by zanahorias (293 rep) | Toxicity 0.11160469
7:17 PM
I like the answer, but I would leave out everything related to introversion/extroversion. They are commonly used as synonyms for shy/outgoing, whereas their medical definitions, according to human personality theory, mean something entirely different. Saying that you're an introvert means something different to different people, and you're more than likely going to spread misinformation (or confuse people), rather than accurately describe your situation. — Clay07g just now
#17589 Clay07g (4623 rep) | A: How can I (an introvert) convey to extroverts that I need time to rest/recover after talking? (score: 5) | posted 3 days ago by ElizB (1255 rep) | Toxicity 0.1270246 | edited 3 days ago by ElizB (1255 rep)
One thing you don't need to read is How to Win an Argument, by Dave Barry. — Walter Mitty 35 secs ago
#17645 Walter Mitty (131 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 17) | posted 4 hours ago by Upper_Case (6412 rep) | Toxicity 0.25842366 | edited 1 hours ago by Upper_Case (6412 rep)
#17642 Ynneadwraith (136 rep) | Q: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 7) | posted 7 hours ago by Ynneadwraith (136 rep) | Toxicity 0.19168511 | edited 6 hours ago by Lord Farquaad (2045 rep)
7:32 PM
Introversion is not a medical condition, and if the OP said explicitly that they are introverts, I do not see the issue with using introversion and extroversion in the answer. Thank you for your concern, I am not concerned about the spread of misinformation here. — ElizB 12 secs ago
#17589 ElizB (1265 rep) | A: How can I (an introvert) convey to extroverts that I need time to rest/recover after talking? (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by ElizB (1265 rep) | Toxicity 0.12082033 | edited 3 days ago by ElizB (1265 rep)
Interesting, and I'm open to persuasion on this. Tell me though, it I phrased it that I was lending my friend a significant amount of tools and materials (the materials amounting to a fair chunk of money), receiving less in return and was now experiencing resistance and poor attitude for the small amount of reciprocation I do get, whether you'd still advocate 'respecting his boundaries without allowing it to reflect on the rest of our relationship'. It's a matter of perspective on the situation, but if I phrased it like that I'd get a very different response. — Ynneadwraith just now
#17655 Ynneadwraith (136 rep) | A: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by Seka Zaba (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.06789899
#17589 Clay07g (4621 rep) | A: How can I (an introvert) convey to extroverts that I need time to rest/recover after talking? (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep) | Toxicity 0.113189735 | edited 3 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep)
I suppose you don't have to be concerned with this, so I'll just downvote and move on. But I wanted to at least let you know why I did so. — Clay07g 43 secs ago
#17589 Clay07g (4621 rep) | A: How can I (an introvert) convey to extroverts that I need time to rest/recover after talking? (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep) | Toxicity 0.104350336 | edited 3 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep)
@zanahorias "inappropriate", "Awkward", "too forward", "Not observing boundries", et cetera. Sadly, we autistics get accused of various and sundry things such as that poor lad in the "fist bump" story. (above) — Don Thermidor_Lobster Mobster 22 secs ago
#17652 Don Thermidor_Lobster Mobster (6533 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by zanahorias (293 rep) | Toxicity 0.433893 | edited 44 minutes ago by zanahorias (293 rep)
@Clay07g ElizB explicitely said she's married to an introvert, so I think she's pretty aware of what she's talking about. You said in your first comment "They are commonly used as synonyms for shy/outgoing, whereas their medical definitions, according to human personality theory, mean something entirely different.", to me it sounds like you're talking about medical condition, which, to my knowledge, is not. — avazula 1 min ago
#17589 avazula (6638 rep) | A: How can I (an introvert) convey to extroverts that I need time to rest/recover after talking? (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep) | Toxicity 0.13672435 | edited 3 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep)
@AnthonyGrist I feel that bringing up "it's more work for you if I need something" also rubs me the wrong way in this instance. — knocked loose 41 secs ago
#17642 knocked loose (123 rep) | Q: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 7) | posted 7 hours ago by Ynneadwraith (136 rep) | Toxicity 0.12830888 | edited 7 hours ago by Lord Farquaad (2045 rep)
@avazula Substitute "medical" with "psychological". The wikipedia article you linked is the exact reference I used when making my first comment. — Clay07g 6 secs ago
#17589 Clay07g (4621 rep) | A: How can I (an introvert) convey to extroverts that I need time to rest/recover after talking? (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep) | Toxicity 0.031486988 | edited 3 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep)
The fist bump story isn't relevant here. This is a much more obvious violation of boundaries. — zanahorias 19 secs ago
#17652 zanahorias (293 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by zanahorias (293 rep) | Toxicity 0.15063721 | edited 47 minutes ago by zanahorias (293 rep)
@DonThermidor_LobsterMobster I am sorry, I am a bit confused. Considering that the behavior described is basically sexual harassment, wouldn't actually be ablest to say it is not sexual harassment because he is autistic? After all we don't know the guy and we don't know what he understands or not. Also there are non autistic people that don't understand this kind of behavior is bad. As I understood it zanahorias was just telling the OP it made sense they felt bad because it was actually bad behavior, he never said to tell the guy "you are sexually harrasing me". — Mykazuki 50 secs ago
#17652 Mykazuki (1063 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by zanahorias (293 rep) | Toxicity 0.5877195 | edited 50 minutes ago by zanahorias (293 rep)
#17642 Ynneadwraith (136 rep) | Q: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing (score: 7) | posted 7 hours ago by Ynneadwraith (136 rep) | Toxicity 0.32559645 | edited 7 hours ago by Lord Farquaad (2045 rep)
#17652 Don Thermidor_Lobster Mobster (6543 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: -1) | posted 4 hours ago by zanahorias (293 rep) | Toxicity 0.11994843 | edited 1 hours ago by zanahorias (293 rep)
#17641 AndreiROM (16067 rep) | Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 8) | posted 8 hours ago by FutureEngineer (52 rep) | Toxicity 0.060059667
@DonThermidor_LobsterMobster, there is a huge difference between a fist bump and repeated unwanted advances. — Froopy 21 secs ago
#17652 Froopy (226 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by zanahorias (313 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409 | edited 1 hours ago by zanahorias (313 rep)
@DonThermidor_LobsterMobster it is not the same to be completely blind than being autistic, it has been said here too, there are many levels to autism. Also I have experienced the behavior that the OP mentioned by people that were not autistic, and I can assure they didnt think it was sexual harassment either. Their understanding doesnt change the nature of the behavior. Of course I wouldn't tell a person that doesn't understand "You are a sexual harraser!", and zanahorias didn't suggest that either. That is why there is intentional and non intentional murder, intentions matter. — Mykazuki 2 mins ago
#17652 Mykazuki (1063 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by zanahorias (313 rep) | Toxicity 0.58942246 | edited 1 hours ago by zanahorias (313 rep)
#3206 ElizB (1273 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 1) | posted 13 days ago by KNP (149 rep) | Toxicity NoKey
I agree wholeheartedly with this approach. This graphical language is commonplace nowadays, on websites, talk shows, TV programs (particularly cable channels like HBO), and even television news, so much so that you'd have to actively limit your exposure to certain media if you want to avoid it. My elderly mother frequently watches programs where explicit sex talk is part of the routine banter between the main characters, and she couldn't care less. If these questions offend your delicate sensibilities, just pass on answering them. — Andrew yesterday
#2276 Andrew (3967 rep) | A: "Let's talk about sex" - How do we deal with explicit language in questions about sex and where do we draw the line? (score: 8) | posted 243 days ago by English Student (8155 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 243 days ago by English Student
#3211 Cashbee (3457 rep) | Q: Are there any suggested question structures? (score: 3) | posted 10 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 50 hours ago by ElizB (1273 rep)
@Cashbee Looking at the definition of both recommended and suggested, I realize what you mean. Edited to take that into account. — ElizB 2 days ago
#3211 ElizB (1273 rep) | Q: Are there any suggested question structures? (score: 3) | posted 10 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 50 hours ago by ElizB (1273 rep)
@Cashbee The title was my wording from a now deleted comment, and probably more appropriate as a body - I didn't intend it as a title, anyways. As for disclaimers: I think that's precisely why "recommended" isn't a good idea in the title here. "Are there any suggested question structures?", perhaps, to make it clear there's no single right way and that it's only a suggestion. — Cascabel 2 days ago
#3211 Cascabel (1407 rep) | Q: Are there any suggested question structures? (score: 3) | posted 10 days ago by ElizB (1273 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 50 hours ago by ElizB (1273 rep)
@DonThermidor_LobsterMobster my point is that it is actually ablest to think a person because they are autistic can not be sexual harassers, because they can. That doesn't mean this guy is doing it out of evilness, they are probably doing it out lack of understanding. Which btw, also happens a lot with socially awkward people that are not considered autistic. You have to cater your response and the words you use according to the circumstances, and always give the benefit of the doubt. But generically we can say everyone is capable of everything, and to say the opposite is actually ablest. — Mykazuki 5 secs ago
#17652 Mykazuki (1063 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by zanahorias (313 rep) | Toxicity 0.5131212 | edited 1 hours ago by zanahorias (313 rep)
Comments are not for extended discussion. zanahorias edited their answer in regards to the fact that it didn't take into account the autistic trouble of the person involved in the story. If you still want to discuss this please go to chat. — avazula 32 secs ago
#17652 avazula (6638 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: 2) | posted 4 hours ago by zanahorias (323 rep) | Toxicity 0.45647737 | edited 1 hours ago by zanahorias (323 rep)
9:03 PM
Yes a thousand times! -- I had a "friend" who did this to me, and everyone else, constantly. One day, feeling particularly lonesome in her isolation she, on her own initiative, confessed to being this way usually on purpose. She also apologized "for being so mean to you". -- Then she asked me to confess in what ways I had been being mean to her. I hadn't and said so. That lack of confession really set her off. Whereupon she started in again being her usual difficult self. -- I report with a sigh of relief that she has moved to another town and I no longer have contact with her in any way. — user23715 1 min ago
#17658 user23715 (101 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by swbarnes2 (1882 rep) | Toxicity 0.3396933
"Why do you think it would cost 500 Euros?" Just a note: saying false statements (even in questions) is a good way to confuse people. Something like "What do you think it would cost?" "500 euros" "Why?" might work better. — usernumber 1 min ago
#17645 usernumber (86 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 26) | posted 6 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep) | Toxicity 0.12659225 | edited 3 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep)
whoops, the "1. Improve your communication" part deals with that. I should have read the whole answer first. — usernumber 1 min ago
#17645 usernumber (86 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 26) | posted 6 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep) | Toxicity 0.16964665 | edited 3 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep)
You say you can tell it bothers him, but are you truly sure? It can sometimes be fun or a point of pride to do things for other people and then complain about them later - he might be looking for some praise or appreciation rather than looking to vent. I say this mostly because "he makes excuses for them or says it isn't a big deal" when you urge him to confront them. I could certainly be wrong, just offering an alternative to consider. — Bryan Krause 54 secs ago
#17634 Bryan Krause (449 rep) | Q: How can I encourage my boyfriend to stand up to his friends? (score: 5) | posted 20 hours ago by user20951 (26 rep) | Toxicity 0.11895243
9:45 PM
If the girlfriend was sincerely concerned about the cost of the room, she would have been glad to hear him say that the room was 60 a night. But he said that, and she wasn't happy. I doubt she was arguing in good faith. — swbarnes2 57 secs ago
#17645 swbarnes2 (1902 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 27) | posted 6 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep) | Toxicity 0.11601713 | edited 4 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep)
@swbarnes2 Arguing in bad faith may well be consistent with the information as reported by the OP, but it's hardly the only possibility that is. We have very little information on either party, and that seems like a strong assumption to make. Regardless, I don't know that it would change any elements of my answer even if I did assume it to be true. — Upper_Case 57 secs ago
#17645 Upper_Case (6424 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 29) | posted 7 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep) | Toxicity 0.058103602 | edited 4 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep)
Per the OP this sort of thing comes up once every 2 months or so-- that doesn't sound like a fundamental character trait as you're suggesting. Though, again, we don't have a sound basis to make strong assumptions. — Upper_Case 24 secs ago
#17645 Upper_Case (6424 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 29) | posted 7 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep) | Toxicity 0.14893746 | edited 4 hours ago by Upper_Case (6424 rep)
2 hours later…
11:51 PM
#17658 axsvl77 (1053 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 9) | posted 5 hours ago by swbarnes2 (1940 rep) | Toxicity 0.41678718
« first day (377 days earlier) ← previous day next day → last day (1098 days later) »
