Thanks. I find interesting the idea of comparing why, other people, did something, compared to what I would do. — tutizeri 38 secs ago
12:02 AM
#15747 tutizeri (6 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: -1) | posted 32 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (555 rep)
You could perhaps ask about how to navigate the conversation towards something that you're both interested in, or how to change topics when you're not interested in the conversation (notice how both of these focus on the interactions with other people, as opposed to something solely personal). However, in both cases, you'll need to be specific about the type of situation (at work vs. family reunion would be different). If you need more help, you can step into chat and talk to some of the top users here about question forming :) — scohe001 57 secs ago
#15744 scohe001 (5108 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by tutizeri (6 rep)
#15747 tutizeri (6 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: -1) | posted 36 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (555 rep)
@tutizeri I didn't say they were directly related. I said I don't know what your problem is (not enough information). I gave 2 candidates. One of them was looking down on others. Which is related to superiority. — Words Like Jared 44 secs ago
#15747 Words Like Jared (555 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: -1) | posted 37 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (555 rep)
#15744 tutizeri (6 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by tutizeri (6 rep)
Can you speak of a direct reward you may get from the conversation itself? Something that makes you feel "I'm enjoying this conversation", and "I want to talk to him to get that reward I crave" — tutizeri 51 secs ago
#15749 tutizeri (6 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 12 minutes ago by Lotana (11 rep)
@tutizeri Even though you've asked an intrapersonal question, I'm trying my best to help you — Words Like Jared 20 secs ago
#15744 Words Like Jared (555 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by tutizeri (6 rep)
@tutizeri To answer your question- asking what motivates people is a question on you and your understanding. That's intrapersonal. Question on how you should interact with others are interpersonal. — Words Like Jared 39 secs ago
#15744 Words Like Jared (555 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by tutizeri (6 rep)
@tutizeri Given what you just said, and what you said on my answer, I suspect you may not be reading carefully. Or if you are, you're not asking questions when you're confused. No offense. — Words Like Jared 1 min ago
#15744 Words Like Jared (555 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by tutizeri (6 rep)
Would you happen to have a link discussing the type of partnership agreement that you're involved in, e.g. something discussing what it is or the philosophy behind it? I ask in part out of curiosity and part because you've referred to it as the norm among those that you know, such that it's probable that there're pre-existing cultural conventions concerning how to resolve concerns about the partnership contract. — Nat 1 min ago
#15657 Nat (367 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 24) | posted 36 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3647 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by Cashbee (3352 rep)
#15727 Jesse (4776 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 25) | posted 6 hours ago by Words Like Jared (565 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Words Like Jared (565 rep)
Do you have a link that discusses the sort of partnership agreement you have? It'd be helpful to know more about what the agreement is and read up on the context behind it. — Nat 46 secs ago
#15657 Nat (367 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 24) | posted 36 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3647 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by Cashbee (3352 rep)
A direct reward is knowledge that you are improving in starting and maintaining social relations. — Lotana 2 mins ago
#15749 Lotana (11 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 45 minutes ago by Lotana (11 rep)
1:06 AM
I like your insight, but whether or not OP moves in their question still stands - How can I communicate to her that I don't feel ready to share everything in this stage of relationship? If you could adapt the ending of your answer to address this it would be far more useful for OP's actual question :) — Jesse 50 secs ago
#15737 Jesse (4776 rep) | A: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 2) | posted 5 hours ago by Pete B. (1078 rep)
1:17 AM
I sincerely object to the whole notion of "if you truly love them, give yourself up". Not only is this a terrible approach regarding self-worth/respect, but it is also patronizing towards the guys because you are making this decision for them. It is neither a sign of egoism nor absence of true affection if you want a friendship to be mutually beneficial. I do like points 1 and 2, however in my experience female-female friendships often have a different dynamic compared to guy-friendships, so this might turn out differently. — Randolph Carter 1 min ago
#15727 Randolph Carter (2249 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 26) | posted 7 hours ago by Words Like Jared (583 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Words Like Jared (583 rep)
#15727 Words Like Jared (583 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 26) | posted 7 hours ago by Words Like Jared (583 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (583 rep)
Although I agree with your added paragraph, this was not really what I meant. if not being with you makes them happy, you'd be okay with that because you're happy to see them happy — Randolph Carter 22 secs ago
#15727 Randolph Carter (2248 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 26) | posted 7 hours ago by Words Like Jared (583 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (583 rep)
I'm not entirely sure how to proceed if this is the case. But thank you for at letting me know I was doing the right thing. I may not personally agree with the "back it up" policy, but I see the reasoning behind it, and I want to try to do the right thing. — Froopy 51 secs ago
#3085 Froopy (216 rep) | Q: How is this answer not a violation of the "back it up" policy? (score: 1) | posted 8 hours ago by Froopy (216 rep)
1 hour later…
2:54 AM
@RandolphCarter I think we would need to have a (possibly lengthy) conversation to arrive at a better understanding of what each of us mean. I don't think this comment section is the appropriate place to do that. That being said I think you should consider adding your own answer :) — Words Like Jared 1 min ago
#15727 Words Like Jared (603 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 28) | posted 8 hours ago by Words Like Jared (603 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Words Like Jared (603 rep)
3:07 AM
#15605 Greek - Area 51 Proposal (2806 rep) | Q: How can I convince a doctor to wash her hands, and not just use hand sanitizer? (score: -4) | posted 5 days ago by Greek - Area 51 Proposal (2806 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Greek - Area 51 Proposal (2806 rep)
3 hours later…
5:42 AM
2 and 3 are not questions, they are very important factors in this situation. — Robyn Simpson 16 secs ago
#15746 Robyn Simpson (464 rep) | Q: How do I tell my parents I won't be able to help them (score: 1) | posted 6 hours ago by Phil A (6 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Em C (8191 rep)
6:09 AM
@Arandomlady:
it's very normal to like one and not like another Consider that "friend" is a spectrum. I consider my friend and his SO both my friend. Invitations are generally extended to them as a couple. Usually, me and him will interact much more than me and her (we have little in common), but that does not mean I go out of my way to avoid being around her. Treating members of a couple differently implies that they are not a unit; which (when a spouse were to implicitly allow your distinct behavior) is incredibly detrimental to the meaning of their marriage. — Flater 1 min ago
#15662 Flater (4982 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 8) | posted 40 hours ago by Steve-O (181 rep)
crossreferencing informations is generally a good thing This is why meetings are often a time where misunderstandings are solved, sometimes even before they present themselves as actual problems. A lot of bugs occur because two programmers have interpreted the intended logic differently (eitehr option might work, but you usually can't do both ways at the same time). When they only focus on their work, they don't see the other interpretation. But when both explanations are presented, the conflict between them becomes easily spottable. — Flater 1 min ago
#15699 Flater (4982 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 3) | posted 23 hours ago by aMJay (361 rep)
and there's a glass ceiling to anyone who doesn't participate Additionally, I've seen companies resort to blaming a lack of team spirit when a project encounters issues; and the ones who don't attend the events are (usually implicitly) considered the reason for bad team spirit (and therefore bad results). Working at a consultancy, if I'm the one who appears at the events less, I will get the shittier projects, which will affect my career but isn't solid enough for me to lodge a complaint about in any official capacity. — Flater 1 min ago
#15652 Flater (4982 rep) | A: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 3) | posted 45 hours ago by AHamilton (1190 rep) | edited 40 hours ago by AHamilton (1190 rep)
@Anonymous: We had an expert colleague (you know the type, technically your equal but effectively runs and supports the team) who had a knack for clear communication and doing "micro trainings" when he saw someone struggle with an issue. This guy was socially anxious and worked from home (from a hospital bed) for years and he still outshone everyone else. Introversion isn't an excuse for bad social skills, expert communication does not inherently exclude introverts. Introversion refers to how you relax, not how you work. — Flater 40 secs ago
#15652 Flater (4982 rep) | A: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 3) | posted 45 hours ago by AHamilton (1190 rep) | edited 40 hours ago by AHamilton (1190 rep)
6:40 AM
@MonkeyZeus: The core of the issue seems to be the unwanted nature of the advice; not whether the given advice is correct or not. — Flater 23 secs ago
#15705 Flater (4982 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 31) | posted 21 hours ago by Catheart (770 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by Alina Cretu (555 rep)
7:03 AM
#15664 Cashbee (3352 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 46) | posted 41 hours ago by Jon.G (2099 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by doppelgreener (257 rep)
7:14 AM
@DaveGoldberg thanks for your nice edit, it now answers the question directly. I hope I was not too much of an annoyance and I will delete my comments in a short while ;) — Cashbee 42 secs ago
#15676 Cashbee (3352 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 22) | posted 39 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (680 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (680 rep)
While technically true, that line is so thin it might well be invisible. I don't think its possible for a 2-metre guy to watch a girl in spandex without making it uncomfortable. — Borgh 7 secs ago
#15708 Borgh (101 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 66) | posted 20 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (514 rep)
#15710 Martijn (2969 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 20) | posted 19 hours ago by InsertSquirrel (104 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by TheRealLester (2068 rep)
Hello. Your answer seems logical, but I think your answer could do with a little more explanation on how you reached these conclusions. Do you have any experience trying this? — Belle-Sophie 1 min ago
#15734 Belle-Sophie (2367 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 9) | posted 12 hours ago by Anoplexian (1562 rep)
1 & 2 suggest "just do nothing" and 3 could use elaboration in what to talk about, the hows and why. I hardly find this answer as is IPS-worthy. — Marcus 44 secs ago
#15754 Marcus (59 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -1) | posted 14 minutes ago by TheSexyMenhir (99 rep)
Like Puck said, what was the actual agreement? Was the 25/75 agreement about the house itself or total costs of living? Because to me it doesn’t seem unfair that you pay half the cost of replacing broken appliances, unless he also insists on ridiculously luxurious appliances that you would never have gotten on your own. This is a cost you would have had anyway. — Sebastiaan van den Broek just now
#15657 Sebastiaan van den Broek (121 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 25) | posted 43 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3652 rep) | edited 17 hours ago by Cashbee (3352 rep)
@LVDV: "Words from God" happen in the Charistmatic branch of Christianity. A strategy might be to point out that new believers sometimes confuse God's voice and their own feelings. So God needs to tell the OP, too, — user24582 41 secs ago
#15670 user24582 (415 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 9) | posted 40 hours ago by Flummox (386 rep)
7:38 AM
Have you commented under the post suggesting what might be wrong with it and how this could be fixed? As of writing this I don't see any comments indicating that something is wrong with the answer and the OP engaging with the answerer in a way that suggests that they think this answer is valuable. — Secespitus 54 secs ago
#3085 Secespitus (1284 rep) | Q: How is this answer not a violation of the "back it up" policy? (score: 2) | posted 14 hours ago by Froopy (226 rep)
@Martijn You might argue that it is how it should be (and people could disagree or agree), but it certainly doesn't seem like that is how OP's girlfriend sees it. I may be going out of my way by analyzing the girlfriend's character from the original post, but I think if OP tells her that spendings should be equally shared, she'll probably just laugh at him. She clearly believes that he should be providing for her (Again, people can agree or disagree whether that should be the case, but it definitely seems that's what she believes). — Eff 1 min ago
#15710 Eff (101 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 20) | posted 19 hours ago by InsertSquirrel (104 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by TheRealLester (2068 rep)
#15664 Michael (101 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 46) | posted 42 hours ago by Jon.G (2099 rep) | edited 21 hours ago by doppelgreener (257 rep)
I went through the same thing, and I can tell you if they arent really hardcore on it, they will eventually accept it. My father was really mad after he heard, but some time after, I got in an argument with my cousin about it, and my father suprisingly stood up to him, arguning that this is my decision, my life and he has no bussines in questioning it. Point is, if you can't come clean to your own family, how are you going to do it to others people in your life? it may be hard at first, but later they will probably be the best support. You are still their son. — Chapz 1 min ago
#10799 Chapz (101 rep) | Q: How do I tell my mother that I'm an atheist? (score: 54) | posted 118 days ago by Guy who types fast (830 rep) | edited 117 days ago by IconDaemon (111 rep)
Hello! We expect answers on IPS to be a little more than mere suggestions saying 'try this'. So, while suggesting to go to couples counselling might be a solution, please focus your answer on the actual interpersonal skill involved (how should this be suggested to achieve the biggest chance of having the desired effect?). Also, if you could, please try and add actual expertise into your answers, in the form of either personal experience (did counselling work for you, how did you convince someone to take professional help, under what circumstances is this likely to work?) or references. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#15126 Tinkeringbell (18185 rep) | A: How to ask my girlfriend to take anger management classes? (score: -3) | posted 18 days ago by CCTO (431 rep)
I cant edit my comment anymore, but I ment that her assumption that it should be that way is based on a the more classical view on roles, thus a reply could be tht that specific view has to be updated. — Martijn 54 secs ago
#15710 Martijn (2969 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 20) | posted 19 hours ago by InsertSquirrel (104 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by TheRealLester (2068 rep)
I wouldn't give any specific alternate suggestions in this case. Recommending a freelance graphic designer is indirectly vouching for that person. If the result turns out bad, it could come back as a problem "You said this guy was good, but it looks really bad!" etc. At most I'd suggest finding a freelance graphic designer, but leave it to him to pick which one. — Gertsen 1 min ago
#15677 Gertsen (101 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 11) | posted 39 hours ago by scohe001 (5118 rep)
I partially agree with your answer. I disagree with the way it's phrased. The main idea is to keep the relationship as the guy feels is OK to keep, because he knows the limits he has discussed with his wife. — lukuss 53 secs ago
#15756 lukuss (979 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -3) | posted 12 minutes ago by Sam Adah (7 rep)
I often find that I have nothing in common with the wives of some of my male friends. (This is especially true of acquaintances who I bond with over shared geeky hobbies.) — arp 51 secs ago
#15727 arp (785 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 37) | posted 14 hours ago by Words Like Jared (754 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Words Like Jared (754 rep)
So basically you are telling the OP to give up all her friends rather than solve the problem she asked for help with? — arp 48 secs ago
#15756 arp (785 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -4) | posted 24 minutes ago by Sam Adah (5 rep)
@Nat the specific agreements are made up by a notary, tailored by your own wishes. You can google 'geregistreerd partnerschap' but it won't tell you much about our specific agreements. — JaneDoe1337 1 min ago
#15657 JaneDoe1337 (3655 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 25) | posted 44 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3655 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by Cashbee (3349 rep)
@arp That's very unlikely. Surely you have something in common? Maybe you like the same kind of food or you have a mutual hate for the color purple. At least you both experience the same weather, so you can talk about that :) — Belle-Sophie just now
#15727 Belle-Sophie (2367 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 38) | posted 14 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep)
I don't see this as an answer to my question; how to deal with the arguments. — JaneDoe1337 1 min ago
#15755 JaneDoe1337 (3654 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by RemcoGerlich (99 rep)
This is very bad advice, you can't just drop all your friends because they got married. — Magisch 15 secs ago
#15756 Magisch (8221 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -4) | posted 35 minutes ago by Sam Adah (5 rep)
@xyious I'm not from Germany, I'm Dutch. There is no such thing as credit score here. Wether or not you can get a loan here is based on your income and how many/high loans you already have, not on wat you actually have in your bank account. It's an interesting system indeed, but loans are not as common here as they are in the US. The fact that I have a loan for my car wows most of my friends. — JaneDoe1337 1 min ago
#15688 JaneDoe1337 (3654 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 35 hours ago by xyious (157 rep)
#15726 Pharap (603 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 3) | posted 15 hours ago by Ms Jackson (744 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Ms Jackson (744 rep)
#15756 Sam Adah (5 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -4) | posted 44 minutes ago by Sam Adah (5 rep)
I agree that this could do with improving with more examples, but I think it's a good answer otherwise. Responsible adults should be able to resolve potential conflicts in a rational manner. If the wives in question really believed their husbands would cheat on them then they've probably got bigger problems. — Pharap 12 secs ago
#15754 Pharap (603 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by TheSexyMenhir (115 rep)
You provide a lot of solutions here, but no guidance on how to actually implement them: acting normal, or sit down and talk with them... They are possible actions, but please explain how to undertake those actions, the interpersonal skill part of those actions. Just saying 'do this' isn't really helpful if someone doesn't know how to 'do this'. Maybe you've done some of this yourself, how did you do it? How did it turn out for you? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 30 secs ago
#15754 Tinkeringbell (18184 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by TheSexyMenhir (115 rep)
#15756 Pharap (602 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -4) | posted 51 minutes ago by Sam Adah (13 rep)
I'd advise against the hugging, but otherwise I agree with the sentiment of just being open and honest and treating them as a unit 95% of the time. — Pharap 26 secs ago
#15752 Pharap (602 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 11) | posted 4 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
How do you know that the wives are uncomfortable with your presence? Have the guys said something about it? Have the wives said something about it? — Pharap 12 secs ago
#15724 Pharap (602 rep) | Q: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 53) | posted 15 hours ago by Galastel (2556 rep)
I missed that that was the point of your question. I feel that the arguments will always come back unless you do this though, you can't live the same life on two different incomes without pooling them. — RemcoGerlich just now
#15755 RemcoGerlich (99 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by RemcoGerlich (99 rep)
#15727 arp (785 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 42) | posted 15 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep)
#15708 Jungkook (101 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 71) | posted 21 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
In a way marriage is the way to deal with these arguments, but you already did that and chose to act as if you didn't. (meaning the plural 'you'). — RemcoGerlich 1 min ago
#15755 RemcoGerlich (99 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by RemcoGerlich (99 rep)
9:19 AM
Can you give examples of what happens if the wives are uncomfortable with you? Are they asking them to not hang out with you? Making snide comments? Turning the cold shoulder? It may be easier addressing their behaviour than their internal feelings. — AllTheKingsHorses 38 secs ago
#15724 AllTheKingsHorses (3905 rep) | Q: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 56) | posted 15 hours ago by Galastel (2571 rep)
How does this answer the question of 'how to maintain a friendship with guys after they're married?'. Are you suggesting to not even try? Why, what problems would that cause? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 31 secs ago
#15750 Tinkeringbell (18184 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 5) | posted 8 hours ago by Erika (59 rep)
@JaneDoe1337 "75% of whatever we sell it for will be his, only 25% will be mine" Wait, and he still pushes you to pay 50%? Isn't he effectively pushing you to give him your money this way? I'm not sure I understand... — AllTheKingsHorses 9 secs ago
#15700 AllTheKingsHorses (3905 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 8) | posted 24 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep)
@Cashbee You could see this as a frame challenge. I think an underlying assumption to the question is that there is something she could do (other than ending the relationship) and that there is mutual trust. But it's not clear that's the case. — AllTheKingsHorses 1 min ago
#15700 AllTheKingsHorses (3905 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 8) | posted 24 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep)
#15700 WendyG (2152 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 8) | posted 24 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep)
#15710 Davor (101 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 21) | posted 21 hours ago by InsertSquirrel (109 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by TheRealLester (2069 rep)
format this into "you don't, here's why you don't. Instead you should probably do" with a little polishing and have my upvote. — Marcus 57 secs ago
#15750 Marcus (59 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 6) | posted 8 hours ago by Erika (69 rep)
If the answerer meant to do a frame challenge, I invite him/her to have a look at how to write a proper frame challenge — Cashbee 20 secs ago
#15700 Cashbee (3348 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 8) | posted 25 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep)
#15661 r41n (241 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 72) | posted 44 hours ago by gnasher729 (3186 rep)
#15700 WendyG (2152 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 8) | posted 25 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by WendyG (2152 rep)
10:27 AM
@xyious A quick Google search will show you that there are exactly 11 countries in the world that have credit scores with varying degrees of information and sway, most of them only being the registers Cronax mentions. Just like many of JaneDoe's friends, taking out a loan to buy a car seems laughable to most people here: if you can't afford a car out of hand, you can't afford a car at all, so why screw yourself over? — DonFusili 40 secs ago
#15688 DonFusili (165 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 37 hours ago by xyious (157 rep)
10:52 AM
So are you saying that it's impossible for a single woman to be friend with a married guy? — LinuxBlanket 51 secs ago
#15756 LinuxBlanket (7801 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -2) | posted 2 hours ago by Sam Adah (33 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Sam Adah (33 rep)
This might be a good idea. This shifts the focus from "you have anxiety issues" to "we have a problem as a couple". Could you expand on why this shift is good? And to me, the problem is now "how to ask my gf to go to couple counselling"... — LinuxBlanket 12 secs ago
#15126 LinuxBlanket (7801 rep) | A: How to ask my girlfriend to take anger management classes? (score: -3) | posted 18 days ago by CCTO (431 rep)
11:08 AM
@arp: But this is the problem. They fundamentally don't understand who you are and what you want out of life, and lack of understanding leads to mistrust. If it were a sister-in-law, you'd make an effort to develop a deeper relationship than "small talk". You're going to have to do so here as well, if you want the wife to learn to trust you as the husband's "sister" and not "rejected romantic interest who might be looking to upset the status quo" — Ben Voigt 57 secs ago
#15727 Ben Voigt (241 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 43) | posted 17 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep)
11:51 AM
From the question: "I never ever invite only the guys to an activity - always the couple". — TheRealLester just now
#15758 TheRealLester (2069 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by josh (101 rep)
If people are moving away from him at the gym, it's in the gym's business interest to get rid of him, before people start moving to another gym. — Tomáš Zato 1 min ago
#15708 Tomáš Zato (158 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 76) | posted 24 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
Say, have you met this guy - interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/3682/… :-D — Grimm The Opiner 1 min ago
#15705 Grimm The Opiner (149 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 36) | posted 26 hours ago by Catheart (795 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Eff (103 rep)
#15758 josh (101 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 0) | posted 24 minutes ago by josh (101 rep)
Your group hangout section is something shes already been doing. It's irrelevant in your answer. — TheRealLester 1 min ago
#15758 TheRealLester (2069 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 0) | posted 31 minutes ago by josh (101 rep)
"My goal is to continue my normal routine without hurting him or making him hate me" How does altering your workout and acting passive aggressively towards him accomplish this goal? — Michael 2 mins ago
#15723 Michael (778 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 3) | posted 19 hours ago by MonkeyZeus (2191 rep)
12:22 PM
@Michael The edit history is kind of important, bud. Kindly check it and notice that the statement was added by some other user and have yourself a fine day... — MonkeyZeus 1 min ago
#15723 MonkeyZeus (2191 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 3) | posted 19 hours ago by MonkeyZeus (2191 rep)
Oh, so it seems like your go-to way of dealing with anyone is to be passive aggressive. Fab — Michael 12 secs ago
#15723 Michael (778 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 3) | posted 19 hours ago by MonkeyZeus (2191 rep)
#15723 MonkeyZeus (2191 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 3) | posted 19 hours ago by MonkeyZeus (2191 rep)
@MonkeyZeus the original version has a similar sentiment, the edit you mention just rephrased it to make it clearer. What Michael said is a valid question, how does this accomplish the goal of not having this guy interfere with OP's workout? Also, why do you expect this to be successful, have you ever done this yourself or seen others act this way? — Em C 23 secs ago
#15723 Em C (8190 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 3) | posted 19 hours ago by MonkeyZeus (2191 rep)
#15752 Juho (101 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 17) | posted 8 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
I agree, That's why I want to find an indirect way of making him understand. It's not really about his sweat problem, I understand that. But there are lots of things you can do about it. There are tee shirts that help and deodorant that are really good for this. — I am bored 8 secs ago
#15738 I am bored (131 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 17 hours ago by Joe S (3282 rep)
Update 2 as requested by @NicHartley and StefanS: It went on like this for some months until I set her a hard deadline to decide in january. She was still unsure so I ended it. 1 month later she asked me to go on a serious date, but by then I was already interested in another gal. — Cashbee 57 secs ago
#6046 Cashbee (3352 rep) | Q: When and how do I tell the person I've been "Netflix and chilling" with that I love her? (score: 61) | posted 232 days ago by Cashbee (3352 rep) | edited 231 days ago by Catija (12126 rep)
I don't see anything in the original post referring to arranging group activities with the friends. There is a world of difference between arranging an activity with a couple that the SO isn't interested in, leaving the event between solely the OP and their friend, and arranging a group activity with friends 1, 2 & 3. — Trebor 26 secs ago
#15758 Trebor (131 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by josh (111 rep)
1:08 PM
#3085 Froopy (226 rep) | Q: How is this answer not a violation of the "back it up" policy? (score: 2) | posted 20 hours ago by Froopy (226 rep)
Thanks for giving an answer! Can you explain why you think that this is a good idea? Answers here require some sort of explaination for why they are suggesting a solution, either from personal experience or an article of some sort. As it stands, this is a "try this" answer. Thanks! More info on the back it up policy — Froopy 1 min ago
#15678 Froopy (226 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 13) | posted 44 hours ago by Ms Jackson (754 rep)
#15738 Joe S (3282 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 17 hours ago by Joe S (3282 rep)
#15747 Spagirl (10798 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 1) | posted 13 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep)
#15749 Spagirl (10798 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 1) | posted 13 hours ago by Lotana (21 rep)
@Spagirl The only thing I could cite is the logic/framework behind my answer or personal experience. (I don't do much reading/I thought of most of this myself.) Therefore I couldn't link anything. Would that count as a "cite"? (Also does it really matter since this question is closed?) — Words Like Jared 1 min ago
#15747 Words Like Jared (755 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 1) | posted 14 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep)
#15760 Em C (8190 rep) | Q: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 0) | posted 9 minutes ago by Angelo Berzacola (1 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by OldPadawan (11980 rep)
The Workplace StackExchange might be able to help with this. If you provide more info about what they're doing wrong (and how you think it should be done), then you might get more relevant answers. — Kozaky 27 secs ago
#15760 Kozaky (3194 rep) | Q: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 0) | posted 10 minutes ago by Angelo Berzacola (1 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by OldPadawan (11980 rep)
1:47 PM
This question might be a good fit for this site as well; however, I think in this case you have to explain why you don't want to resort to TheWorkplace.SE. Other than that, welcome to IPS.SE! Complete the tour, learn about this site and earn a badge! — LinuxBlanket 1 min ago
#15760 LinuxBlanket (7801 rep) | Q: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 0) | posted 23 minutes ago by Angelo Berzacola (1 rep) | edited 16 minutes ago by OldPadawan (11980 rep)
@Em C , i'm in the same post, same level. If is this affecting my work? yeah, because all the rework are dealying our schedule. And thanks everybody for the Workplace tip, i didn't know about that website. Thanks in advance. — Angelo Berzacola 33 secs ago
#15760 Angelo Berzacola (1 rep) | Q: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 0) | posted 28 minutes ago by Angelo Berzacola (1 rep) | edited 21 minutes ago by OldPadawan (11980 rep)
But the OP stated that she is "the only person he seems to double check the information", it doesn't really seem that he's crossreferencing information just for his nervousness. How do you account for the aforementioned statement in your answer? — LinuxBlanket 49 secs ago
#15699 LinuxBlanket (7801 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 5) | posted 30 hours ago by aMJay (381 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Jon.G (2139 rep)
@LinuxBlanket for that i mentioned the coworker might be intimidated by her superior programming knowledge / leader position, it's unclear from the post whether the other coworkers hold same position or have same skills. — aMJay 18 secs ago
#15699 aMJay (381 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 5) | posted 31 hours ago by aMJay (381 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Jon.G (2139 rep)
#15723 JeffC (234 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 2) | posted 21 hours ago by MonkeyZeus (2189 rep)
#15657 Steve (117 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 27) | posted 49 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3665 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
But she said also "We are both colleagues, same age, I'm not his manager or superior or anything." How come she's the only one intimidating him, and how does intimidation results in him double-checking the info she gives to him? If that was the case, I'd find more natural the opposite case, him double-checking info coming from everyone but her. — LinuxBlanket 1 min ago
#15699 LinuxBlanket (7801 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 5) | posted 31 hours ago by aMJay (381 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Jon.G (2139 rep)
Can you provide more detail about the situation: Is the re-work something that your manager directed you to do? Why do you say they are wrong, is it like they aren't following typical style or that a function they implemented doesn't produce expected outputs? What "quality control" processes are in place (testing, code review, written standards, etc.)? — Em C 1 min ago
#15760 Em C (8190 rep) | Q: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 0) | posted 45 minutes ago by Angelo Berzacola (1 rep) | edited 39 minutes ago by OldPadawan (11980 rep)
#15760 Em C (8190 rep) | Q: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 0) | posted 46 minutes ago by Angelo Berzacola (1 rep) | edited 40 minutes ago by OldPadawan (11980 rep)
Step 1 is to move out of your parents house.... you're going to keep dealing with this nonsense forever. — coinbird 33 secs ago
#15658 coinbird (491 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 28) | posted 49 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (454 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (454 rep)
2:34 PM
Paying 75/25 on the house, which results in him owning 75% and you 25% makes sense. Paying 75/25 on city taxes does not make sense, that just means that he pays for his own and half of you taxes, and you pay the other half of your own taxes. So unless you specified paying taxes, groceries, etc in the contract I don't think he is going against it. Therefore the problem is that what you call unfair arguments, are probably completely fair arguments to him. Not that I agree with his behaviour, but this shows that "Geregistreerd Partnerschap" is not "Getrouwd in gemeenschap van goederen" ;) — Geliormth 16 secs ago
#15657 Geliormth (2806 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 27) | posted 50 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3670 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
@Belle-Sophie Both my girlfriend and my best-friend's wife took this approach to make friends with each other. They ended up bonding over murder shows and serial killers, where me, my best friend, and my girlfriend are all good friends who play WoW. — Anoplexian 1 min ago
#15734 Anoplexian (1569 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 8) | posted 19 hours ago by Anoplexian (1569 rep)
2:52 PM
#15758 josh (111 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by josh (111 rep)
Note about the formatting (can’t suggest an edit because it’s too small): If you want to have paragraphs in a list item, please indent each of the following paragraphs with one space. This will move the paragraph in line with the first line. — unor 15 secs ago
#15727 unor (109 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 54) | posted 21 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by Words Like Jared (755 rep)
@Jungkook Implying that this issue is somehow worse when the victim is female is not only incredibly sexist, it's particularly demoralizing for the male (OP) who is bringing this up to have his concerns trivialized because of his gender. While it may be true that the gym will take the issue more seriously, that is an issue with gym policy and it is not ethical to exploit that policy for the purpose of expediting/inflating punishment artificially. — AlexanderJ93 47 secs ago
#15708 AlexanderJ93 (101 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 80) | posted 27 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
I am the lead programmer right now and multiple people told him he should ask me, not them - that pretty much points towards that, why that's causing the intemidation is explained in my original post [he] was too embarrassed to admit it in front of a lead programmer. — aMJay 46 secs ago
#15699 aMJay (381 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 5) | posted 32 hours ago by aMJay (381 rep) | edited 20 seconds ago by aMJay (381 rep)
"He will demand money as long as I have it in my account," This suggests an obvious solution. Just saying. — user11235 22 secs ago
#15657 user11235 (101 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 27) | posted 50 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3670 rep) | edited 25 hours ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
#15758 TheRealLester (2089 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 2) | posted 3 hours ago by josh (121 rep)
#15667 BlackJack (101 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 3) | posted 48 hours ago by Dastardly (1103 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by TheRealLester (2089 rep)
@user11235 lying or withholding information from my SO does not solve the problem. If anything it creates more problems. — JaneDoe1337 1 min ago
#15657 JaneDoe1337 (3670 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 27) | posted 50 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3670 rep) | edited 25 hours ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
@JaneDoe1337 I was thinking of simply spending the money. But yes, the problem here is bigger. Let me just tell that at a feminist forum one of the female posters told about her experiences having a poorer boyfriend and taking him on an expensive vacation and how it was hard not to feel entitled because of paying it despite knowing that the boyfriend would have chosen a cheaper vacation. — user11235 6 secs ago
#15657 user11235 (101 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 27) | posted 50 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3670 rep) | edited 25 hours ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
#15750 Clay07g (4148 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 6) | posted 14 hours ago by Erika (93 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Erika (93 rep)
This is the only correct answer on this entire thread. Unless OP gets married, there's no way she can keep in any kind of touch with her friends, and even still their contact would reduce even if she marries. — Azxdreuwa 36 secs ago
#15756 Azxdreuwa (101 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -2) | posted 7 hours ago by Sam Adah (41 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Sam Adah (41 rep)
Rather than 'Have you tried using xyz' I personally have had more success with 'Is there a particular reason you're not using xyz?'. Sometimes the answer is 'Theres not really a reason, I should look into it', other times the answer is 'Yes, because blablabla' but it seems to come across better. — Cronax 1 min ago
#15762 Cronax (2226 rep) | A: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Jon.G (2159 rep)
Well you actually assumed he has excessive sweating while in any case it's just a part of the problem. — I am bored 38 secs ago
#15738 I am bored (131 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 2) | posted 19 hours ago by Joe S (3292 rep)
@Clay07g Presumably, a group of geeks consisting entirely of women. Though I agree that I don't really see how that answers the question, it at best seems to sidestep the issue. — Cubic 32 secs ago
#15750 Cubic (405 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 6) | posted 14 hours ago by Erika (93 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Erika (93 rep)
You mentioned "He always has big sweat stains under his armpits (every. single. day.)" In your post. Since this doesn't happen to everyone, even if they don't wear special antiperspirant, I'd call it excessive. — Joe S 2 mins ago
#15738 Joe S (3292 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 2) | posted 20 hours ago by Joe S (3292 rep)
"The best way to maintain a good contact is creating situations where the man cannot cheat on his wife." Highly questionable. Especially when followed up with "The most easy way are group meetings so you have your hobby" - sure, that might work if the wife happens to be into the kind of hobbies the group is into, but that's very often not the case (and if it was frankly I think the husband would've brought her along already). You can have her around of course, but what's she getting out of this (other than being able to hover over her husband for a couple of hours)? — Cubic 2 mins ago
#15751 Cubic (405 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 6) | posted 13 hours ago by Thorsten S. (1967 rep)
@Cubic Read my answer again. I said that was one of the obvious answers, and I was alluding to the fact that others have said that. I go on to show that even if she did get a boyfriend then she might find double-dates equally as problematic. — Astralbee 5 secs ago
#15759 Astralbee (14563 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by Astralbee (14563 rep)
@Azxdreuwa That's complete nonsense. There are plenty of single people that keep in contact with married friends. — Cubic 40 secs ago
#15756 Cubic (405 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -2) | posted 7 hours ago by Sam Adah (41 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Sam Adah (41 rep)
@Mindwin "it doesn't matter if the advice is safe or otherwise. In some jurisdictions it is illegal to even give advice if you are not a registered professional" Your logic is extremely flawed. To say that something doesn't matter means that there are no cases where there is a difference, not that situations where there is no difference exists. And a blanket prohibition on giving advice would be unconstitutional in the US. — Acccumulation 1 min ago
#15708 Acccumulation (432 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 81) | posted 28 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
"get a boyfriend (or resume friendships when you do, you are right to take your time on this!)" Not sure how that's going to help calm down a jealous or mistrustful wife or girlfriend - if they were of the opinion that people in relationships don't cheat, surely they wouldn't have an issue with their husbands going out in the first place. — Cubic 2 mins ago
#15759 Cubic (405 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by Astralbee (14563 rep)
#15750 Clay07g (4148 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 6) | posted 14 hours ago by Erika (93 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Erika (93 rep)
Still not getting where you're going with this - are you saying it's one of the surface-level answers one might immediately think of, but that turn out to be silly under closer examination? That's not really the vibe I'm getting from the answer, but OK I guess. — Cubic 23 secs ago
#15759 Cubic (405 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by Astralbee (14563 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Astralbee (14563 rep)
@Juho It's quite a limited statement because of context. She's describing her relationship with the taken men; she has nothing to hide from their sigos, so she goes out of her way to be open to them. You, however: having a pronounced interest in watching others in the bathroom, that really is something you should keep to yourself. — lly 45 secs ago
#15752 lly (135 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 19) | posted 11 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
#15728 Tim (525 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 2) | posted 21 hours ago by gnasher729 (3234 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by gnasher729 (3234 rep)
" It is not your responsibility to make him aware of his off-putting manner." The decent thing to do is to tell him that you have a problem before involving others. — Acccumulation 1 min ago
#15708 Acccumulation (432 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 82) | posted 28 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
@Cubic I have the impression that you completely misunderstood the sentence, not able to cheat does not mean that the wife is present. It means that a male and female friend prefer to meet in a neutral way where cheating would be noticed or sex is socially unacceptable. In a group friends notice if two members are missing and they know that one of them is married. You won't also cheat on your wife in a public area. While technically you still can in both cases, the social stigma, witnesses and the knowledge that your wife will find out about this effectively prevents cheating. — Thorsten S. 18 secs ago
#15751 Thorsten S. (1967 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 6) | posted 13 hours ago by Thorsten S. (1967 rep)
That (automatic true friendship with partners of friends) won't work for me because it usually includes the expectation to forget the existence of the partner if the partnership ends. My feelings and my trust can neither be turned on on demand nor turned off on demand. OTOH, noone ever regarded me as a threat. — user11235 1 min ago
#15752 user11235 (101 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 19) | posted 11 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
I do not see the problem with children. Since my friends have children, I ask them what schedule is best for them and then I meet them for half an hour in a coffee place and then we go together getting their child from preschool chatting all the time. It helps that I am genuinely interested in what preschool children look at on the internet, how parents view the fact that the things of their daughter are invisible in the preschool sea of pink, how they are restarting their career, how their husband is doing, and so on. — user11235 1 min ago
#15751 user11235 (101 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 8) | posted 13 hours ago by Thorsten S. (1987 rep)
4:31 PM
#15752 Em C (8191 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 19) | posted 12 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
@RobynSimpson If you want to show a search results page, use a deterministic search engine like DuckDuckGo - that is, if it comes up with the right results. — wizzwizz4 9 secs ago
#15708 wizzwizz4 (103 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 83) | posted 29 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
4:51 PM
@swbarnes2: I disagree. The answer is to use some common sense and be a bit considerate towards others. The space outside our houses belongs to us all, and we should share it in a decent way. Kids playing on the sidewalk do sometimes run on to the street, that's why we should slow down if they are there. If there are only 4 or 5 hours an hour, kids can play in the street also, they just have to go to the sidewalk when a car comes. That way we can all live together in a pleasant way, and nobody has to be 'removed'. — Orbit 48 secs ago
#6992 Orbit (159 rep) | A: How to talk to moms letting their kids play in the streets (score: 7) | posted 212 days ago by Orbit (159 rep)
@wizzwizz Thanks for that. I like it. The only drawback is, that it doesn't display the number of results that it found... which was what I was trying to achieve with my google serch link. — Robyn Simpson 6 secs ago
#15708 Robyn Simpson (634 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 83) | posted 29 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
@accumulation, if he was a friend, family member or a workmate I'd agree with you. OP said "The problem is that you can't say anything to him because he will just deny it and take anything as a personal attack. Every time you're not agreeing with him, his face shows that he is pissed off and he raises his voice..." AND "...My goal is to continue my normal routine without hurting him or making him hate me (intensely staring at me, not talking to me, etc)". — Robyn Simpson 1 min ago
#15708 Robyn Simpson (634 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 83) | posted 29 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
5:28 PM
Every time I read a question like this I am so tempted to only give a yes/no answer — Link0352 8 secs ago
#15766 Link0352 (3728 rep) | Q: Is it rude to ask professors age? (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by newguy (101 rep)
Plus ceding to his demands sets a bad precedence. Either he actually believes God told him to do this, which giving in would reinforce his delusion, or he is using his religion as leverage to force the OP to do what he wants (far more likely from these types). In which case, agreeing opens the door to all kinds of abuse. "God told me you had to clean my room." "God told me you had to do my homework." "God told me you had to give me $20." — Jonathan 24 secs ago
#15668 Jonathan (159 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 3) | posted 50 hours ago by Tom (752 rep)
5:50 PM
Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 17 secs ago
#15658 Tinkeringbell (18186 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 28) | posted 53 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (454 rep) | edited 23 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (454 rep)
Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#15657 Tinkeringbell (18186 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 28) | posted 53 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3675 rep) | edited 28 hours ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
6:27 PM
Parks belong to all of us, does that mean it's okay for everyone to drive their cars across them, in the name of sharing? No. Common sense is to let the fast things stay in their place, and kids stay in theirs. The kids can be considerate of others by staying out of the roads, and playing where it's safe, and they aren't in anyone way. — swbarnes2 10 secs ago
#6992 swbarnes2 (1722 rep) | A: How to talk to moms letting their kids play in the streets (score: 7) | posted 212 days ago by Orbit (159 rep)
Whether something is rude or not is a matter of opinion and doesn't really solve your problem. Whether it's rude to us means nothing. What is important is how to address this with your professor if he thought it was rude. Please edit your question to focus on the interpersonal interaction rather than whether what you did was rude or not. — Catija ♦ 44 secs ago
#15766 Catija (12120 rep) | Q: Is it rude to ask professors age? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by newguy (104 rep)
6:45 PM
I can't tell if your answer is "you can't be friends with opposite-sex married friends", or simply "be careful / set boundaries". In particular, "guard against getting into situations that could be misconstrued" seems to be a big part of what OP wants to do, but you don't explain how. Can you edit to clarify? — Em C 1 min ago
#15769 Em C (8201 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -3) | posted 59 minutes ago by Guy who knows stuff (1 rep)
7:10 PM
"any friend of John's is a friend of mine" - GSF#4 plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html - I would at least point out that this is not necessarily a maxim. — Aaron Hall 1 min ago
#15752 Aaron Hall (103 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 21) | posted 14 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (634 rep)
@EmC 1 - no, acctualy the rework returns to developer that created it, but it affect ou tight schedule, said that, its affects me too. 2 - Wrong/poor way because they're coding the design in a way it only Works in their cellphones, not in alll android cellphones. 3 Q&A are abscent, but this is a community standart to develop the layouts so it can fit well in any display. — Angelo Berzacola just now
#15760 Angelo Berzacola (6 rep) | Q: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Angelo Berzacola (6 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Jon.G (2169 rep)
@EmC 1 - no, acctualy the rework returns to developer that created it, but it affect ou tight schedule, said that, its affects me too. 2 - Wrong/poor way because they're coding the design in a way it only Works in their cellphones, not in alll android cellphones. 3 QA is abscent, but this is a community standart to develop the layouts so it can fit well in any display. — Angelo Berzacola 32 secs ago
#15760 Angelo Berzacola (6 rep) | Q: How to tell my team that they are doing their work in the wrong / poor way? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Angelo Berzacola (6 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Jon.G (2169 rep)
#15705 Catheart (825 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 42) | posted 34 hours ago by Catheart (825 rep) | edited 36 minutes ago by Laurel (135 rep)
I think that saying that to the guy would make him really angry because he is annoying but what makes him REALLY annoying is that he try to act cool even when he is rude. Assuming that he is being rude and that he is pissing off EVERYONE will just make him angry and will be an easy occasion for him to raise his voice and claim that he is being nice "there is no need to act like a dick" even if he is the dick. — Catheart 1 min ago
#15728 Catheart (825 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 2) | posted 25 hours ago by gnasher729 (3254 rep) | edited 21 hours ago by gnasher729 (3254 rep)
I see a lot of people recommending (on this board) using a pair of headphones but I don't like this idea because I come here to increase my interpersonal skills and I think that this idea is just avoiding a problem instead of learning how to fix it BUT, but but but, I'm so pissed of by gym people, I think I will end up doing this. So I will +1 — Catheart 5 secs ago
#15715 Catheart (825 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 8) | posted 28 hours ago by Иво Недев (239 rep) | edited 28 hours ago by TheRealLester (2099 rep)
I like this answer but unfortunately it won't work in this situation because the guy just don't stop talk until he chose to leave by himself. I already acted like that but he kept talking and it was frustrating to see that this guy was just being ultra rude and selfish. — Catheart 39 secs ago
#15707 Catheart (825 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 21) | posted 32 hours ago by Neo (383 rep)
As I said to my friend, next time I will go to ask the coach to talk to the guy because I felt really oppressed by this guy in a non accepted manner. He was just being a dick and I have the right to said that he was acting rude and seems to not understood by himself that it's not an acceptable behavior. So, if he talk me once again like this, I'm just reporting it to the coach. Thanks guy for all your great answer ! — Catheart 8 secs ago
#15708 Catheart (827 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 87) | posted 32 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (649 rep)
#15661 Steve (117 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 78) | posted 54 hours ago by gnasher729 (3254 rep)
8:08 PM
@Catheart I understand your sentiment and think you've picked a good answer here, but keep in mind for future questions that sometimes avoiding a problem is the best answer. A big ol' IPS skill is learning how to pick your battles. — Lord Farquaad 52 secs ago
#15715 Lord Farquaad (1969 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 8) | posted 29 hours ago by Иво Недев (239 rep) | edited 29 hours ago by TheRealLester (2109 rep)
Have you asked her on a date? Have you gone on a date? Have you shown any indication that you want to move beyond flirting and texting? Maybe she's tired of waiting for you to make a move or maybe she just actually busy and get's back to you when she can talk and give you her full attention. My suggestion is to officially ask her out and if she says yes then yay! if she says no, then respect her choice and remain friends — cheshire 40 secs ago
#15743 cheshire (1926 rep) | Q: Response Type to Complex Texting Patterns (score: -1) | posted 21 hours ago by Peter Rothman (6 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by TheRealLester (2109 rep)
I would recommend counselling like GretchenV says, and it's best when your problem is still relatively mild. This kind of thing is like a cycle, you are afraid of meeting people because you fear you cannot handle it, and that makes you more afraid. This cycle can be stopped, the earlier the better, and it's best done with outside help. — gnasher729 24 secs ago
#15659 gnasher729 (3264 rep) | Q: Will my anxiety disorder ruin my career? (score: 0) | posted 55 hours ago by Yogesh (1 rep)
8:32 PM
8:56 PM
Additional thing you can do: Get bluetooth headphones with earbuds, the kind you stick in your ear and can't hear anything. Then just don't respond, it's obvious you are wearing headphones. — LawrenceC 35 secs ago
#15705 LawrenceC (101 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 43) | posted 35 hours ago by Catheart (832 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Laurel (135 rep)
We expect answers to be more substantial than just saying "Do this". Can you edit this to provide some explanation for why you think that this is an appropriate course of action for the OP. — sphennings 1 min ago
#15661 sphennings (6322 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 78) | posted 56 hours ago by gnasher729 (3262 rep)
@LinuxBlanket I did not talk about his discourses because i thought he is not too serious, it was not bothering me too much and also why cause any conflict in our relationship? But now i realized that he might have serious problems so i wanted to ask about a good way to approach him because i am not used to go into conflict situations. — Jens just now
#15637 Jens (149 rep) | Q: How to talk to a friend claiming to go on a rampage? (score: 9) | posted 3 days ago by Jens (149 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Jens (149 rep)
@RandolphCarter he actually is using a lot of dry humor but when he uses a similar dry humor i am able to detect it but a few days ago he was frustrated and i realized fury in his behavior and voice. — Jens 59 secs ago
#15637 Jens (149 rep) | Q: How to talk to a friend claiming to go on a rampage? (score: 9) | posted 3 days ago by Jens (149 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Jens (149 rep)
9:47 PM
#15772 Kat (1941 rep) | A: How do I tell my parents I won't be able to help them (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by PeterJens (1372 rep)
There's a difference between "Is this a holiday job" and "Why aren't you in school". "Why aren't you in school" is an aggressive attack on everything the young person is doing. It is a bold claim that they are running their whole live wrong. "This is none of your business" is an entirely appropriate response to that. @Aaa so you think having money would give you the right to be rude? — gnasher729 50 secs ago
#15251 gnasher729 (3262 rep) | A: I'm 24 with a 4-year-old son. How to handle uncomfortable questions from people? (score: 27) | posted 14 days ago by cgTag (379 rep)
9:58 PM
Prediction: this will be closed for being intrapersonal. This doesn't involve other people. So it's probably not interpersonal (okay, fine, you're reading a book from another person, but you're not interacting with them back) — Words Like Jared 22 secs ago
#15773 Words Like Jared (770 rep) | Q: How to add emotion to your conversation? (score: 0) | posted 42 minutes ago by eneski (101 rep)
10:19 PM
#15773 scohe001 (5138 rep) | Q: How to add emotion to your conversation? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by eneski (101 rep)
11:00 PM
No. I do not have any links or references. All what I said comes from my life experience. There is no need to make my answer any longer by talking about myself: It is not about me, it is about the requester. — Lotana 53 secs ago
#15749 Lotana (19 rep) | A: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 22 hours ago by Lotana (19 rep)
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