"If important, God will let met know too." - this was my first thought. Actually, it was a little more brutal than that, along the lines of: Screw your god, if he wants you to have a tat, he can either do it himself or organise some payment for me. He is omnipotent, is he not? :-) — paxdiablo 1 min ago
1:28 AM
#15670 paxdiablo (311 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 5) | posted 10 hours ago by Flummox (338 rep)
1:39 AM
@icog76 I responded in comments, it does assume a few things about your relationship but even if i'm completely off base I still think that it is not your job to "convince" her, asking her could be nice, but it is far more important to make sure you don't suddenly cause inconvenience by leaving without organising things properly — Jesse 7 secs ago
#15654 Jesse (4766 rep) | A: How do I politely tell someone I don't want them to meet a friend with me? (score: 3) | posted 15 hours ago by Jesse (4766 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by Jesse (4766 rep)
1:54 AM
This is going to be quite tough to answer, and as it is the question will likely get closed. First, you need to decide on what to do and then decide on how you want to try and go about it. We can't answer intrapersonal questions such as "How to get over the friendship", "Did I expect too much", "How to stop expecting too much", "Should I __", "Is it futile to __". We need a single, focused question about interpersonal skills, a good place to start might be asking yourself what you want to convey and to whom. — Jesse 14 secs ago
#15692 Jesse (4766 rep) | Q: How to know when to repair a friendship with an ex-roommate or move on (score: 0) | posted 32 minutes ago by S.S. (1 rep)
2:30 AM
As a note, we've replaced "add a comment" with "suggest improvement" but they serve much the same purpose... that said any additional information should be edited into your question rather than put in a comment, so it's actually better for you to add detail the way you did rather than putting it in a comment. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#15653 Catija (12128 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 2) | posted 17 hours ago by A random lady (224 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by A random lady (224 rep)
So... interesting... side effect(?)... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/15653/… OP can't find "comment" button which leads to an edit rather than comment... this is good... but leads to some confusion... so not sure what to think. Was there a reason (technical or otherwise) for using "suggest improvement" for all cases? I know the original concept was to use something like "request clarification" for questions but I'm not sure if that's technically possible. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#2839 Catija (12128 rep) | A: This one weird trick gets rid of all off-topic comments. Let's use it! (score: 31) | posted 55 days ago by Shog9 (96 rep) | edited 14 days ago by Shog9 (96 rep)
3:09 AM
Could you edit to describe your and her financial situations (in general terms), and also your ages? When I was a college student with very limited funds I would have expected help with gas money; as a comfortable employed professional it wouldn't occur to me to ask. Context matters. — Monica Cellio 21 secs ago
#15541 Monica Cellio (13474 rep) | Q: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: 63) | posted 5 days ago by The_Bird (424 rep) | edited 4 days ago by The_Bird (424 rep)
3:36 AM
#15627 puck (579 rep) | Q: Consoling a close relative post-break-up (score: 1) | posted 2 days ago by nate.edwinton (108 rep)
4:01 AM
"... organise some payment for me ..." - no, this argument will be met with "He will reward you in Heaven", or words to that effect. — Dawood ibn Kareem 51 secs ago
#15670 Dawood ibn Kareem (101 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 5) | posted 13 hours ago by Flummox (338 rep)
I think Leviticus 19:28 could make a lovely basis for the design of a tattoo. — Dawood ibn Kareem 7 secs ago
#15694 Dawood ibn Kareem (101 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 1 hours ago by BoredBsee (125 rep)
1 hour later…
5:13 AM
You have not explained which of these "options" you are suggesting or why it might be best OP's scenario — Jesse 43 secs ago
#15696 Jesse (4765 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by Thanos (522 rep)
5:34 AM
I am suggesting both options, to be tried in that order. I have also explained why OP should try these options. — Thanos 50 secs ago
#15696 Thanos (522 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by Thanos (522 rep)
6:23 AM
#15575 qsp (116 rep) | A: How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend? (score: 98) | posted 4 days ago by lukuss (904 rep) | edited 23 hours ago by lukuss (904 rep)
6:54 AM
A final option that goes well against rudeness: Share the table with the woman :) — Kasper Thystrup Karstensen 19 secs ago
#5221 Kasper Thystrup Karstensen (280 rep) | A: How to approach the situation where someone "steals" your table? (score: 50) | posted 250 days ago by Anne Daunted (8772 rep) | edited 250 days ago by Anne Daunted (8772 rep)
#15653 A random lady (234 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 2) | posted 21 hours ago by A random lady (234 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by A random lady (234 rep)
@AzorAhai Yes, thanks for the correction, I did not formulate it properly. — A random lady 30 secs ago
#15674 A random lady (234 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 4) | posted 15 hours ago by A random lady (234 rep)
How do your coworkers react? Wouldn't they be like "I'm not going over all of it again, what was the specific thing you did not understand when Mark T explained it yesterday?". If not, why not? Aren't they wasting their time, too? — nvoigt 40 secs ago
#15695 nvoigt (552 rep) | Q: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by Mark T (16 rep)
7:20 AM
The percentages are set in the partnership contract, but they are specified for 'house costs such as mortgage' so they don't say specifically which costs. With the garden he discussed that he doesn't want to wait until I've saved up enough, he has enough money now so he's spending his money now. He specified I do not need to pay him back. And offtopic but 20k for a complete redo of a front and backyard of medium size here is a 'steal'. Most offers we got were around 30+. — JaneDoe1337 40 secs ago
#15678 JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 10) | posted 14 hours ago by Ms Jackson (646 rep)
I like this idea as it seems the most conflict aversion. If a third party decides I'm not the boogie man anymore. — JaneDoe1337 47 secs ago
#15676 JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 10) | posted 15 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (560 rep) | edited 15 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (560 rep)
@mbomb007 although I wouldn't mind, he would. As he earns much more and owns several high value objects, he does not want to combine finances or possessions. I have to say this is the common way to handle things, we don't have people in our social circle who do it differently. — JaneDoe1337 1 min ago
#15657 JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 13) | posted 19 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep)
I do find this a bit passive aggressive, although this might help him see I really do not have the endless fundings he has. — JaneDoe1337 58 secs ago
#15688 JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 9 hours ago by xyious (141 rep)
#15650 Robin (2069 rep) | A: How do I politely tell someone I don't want them to meet a friend with me? (score: 7) | posted 25 hours ago by Robin (2069 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by Erik (5972 rep)
There are an infinite amount of answers to the question "How do I deal with this situation?". Please edit your question to add specific goals that you want to achieve, so the answerers do not have to guess your desired outcome themselves. This will prevent the question from being closed as too broad. Thank you — Cashbee 1 min ago
#15695 Cashbee (3352 rep) | Q: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 3) | posted 4 hours ago by Mark T (16 rep)
#15613 KPM (101 rep) | A: Childhood friend wants to get a "best friends" tattoo but I do not think it is a good idea (score: 10) | posted 3 days ago by AnoE (2281 rep)
7:49 AM
Can you explain why you think there are only two options? I can think of quite a few more that might or might not be successful - but there certainly are more options than asking him and sucking it up. — AllTheKingsHorses 54 secs ago
#15696 AllTheKingsHorses (3905 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by Thanos (532 rep)
#15688 DonFusili (165 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 1) | posted 10 hours ago by xyious (139 rep)
@WordsLikeJared maybe you could drop into Interpersonal Skills Chat once you have time, that might be quicker ;) — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#3073 Tinkeringbell (18188 rep) | A: What I can do to make my question a fit for this site? (score: 2) | posted 7 days ago by sphennings (6324 rep)
@WendyG That should be an answer :-) I had the same feeling, but I fear that comments will be deleted sooner rather than later :-/ — AllTheKingsHorses 46 secs ago
#15657 AllTheKingsHorses (3905 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 13) | posted 19 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep)
@JaneDoe1337 I doubt a counsellor will decide anything, just moderate the discussion and help both sides understand each other. — AllTheKingsHorses 1 min ago
#15676 AllTheKingsHorses (3905 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 11) | posted 16 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (570 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (570 rep)
@JaneDoe1337 So he owns a lot of stuff he doesn't want to share, you'd be liable to pay his taxes if he doesn't, you're earning a lot less than he, you're paying for his groceries, and you don't trust his word any more? Wow, that sounds tough. All my best wishes... — AllTheKingsHorses 1 min ago
#15657 AllTheKingsHorses (3905 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 13) | posted 19 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep)
8:19 AM
@AllTheKingsHorses I'm sorry but I don't see the point in your comment. I am liable to pay his taxes if he doesn't, just as he is for me. I'm paying for his groceries, but he's paying for a lot of other things around the house. You make it seem like all financial burdens are on me right now which is not the case. — JaneDoe1337 38 secs ago
#15657 JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 13) | posted 20 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3589 rep)
Questions should ask for help achieving a specific goal. Your question is asking for personal advice on "what to do" without defining a goal; this is too subjective. Edit your question to explain what you hope to achieve and how you would like to interact with the others involved — Jon.G 6 secs ago
#15695 Jon.G (1973 rep) | Q: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 4) | posted 5 hours ago by Mark T (21 rep)
8:39 AM
Heads up, The question has been edited. The part of your answer that actually adresses the question is your last paragraph before the edit part. Can you expand a little on that paragraph maybe? How does your solution not make the situation awkward? — Cashbee 58 secs ago
#15684 Cashbee (3352 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 13 hours ago by TheRealLester (1938 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by TheRealLester (1938 rep)
Does your boss have a boss of his own? If yes, what does he/she think when your boss shows up to a meeting with (potential) clients while having, to use your words, a "bad presentation" ? — Radu Murzea 15 secs ago
#15683 Radu Murzea (101 rep) | Q: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 3) | posted 14 hours ago by I am bored (116 rep) | edited 50 minutes ago by Cashbee (3352 rep)
This does not answer the question "How can I be more assertive in convincing him to take better care of his hygiene?" — Cashbee 43 secs ago
#15701 Cashbee (3351 rep) | A: How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend? (score: -1) | posted 8 minutes ago by Loriz (1 rep)
Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding something, but here is question. I'm genuinely asking because I don't understand this, not to be difficult. Couldn't you turn this around and say that she is financially abusing him? She is clearly, from OP's own words, making him spend more than he wants. He is already paying for most (~75%). I also don't understand how "he is leaving her short of money". Apparantly, as far as I understand, they don't have shared money. Is she entitled to his money? Just because he has more money than her, that does not mean it's his obligation to give her more? — Eff 20 secs ago
#15700 Eff (101 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 0) | posted 12 minutes ago by WendyG (2072 rep)
he is getting her to extend herself, getting her to buy stuff she can't afford with promises of help, which then never get given. Leaving her having bought stuff she can't afford. — WendyG 27 secs ago
#15700 WendyG (2072 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 0) | posted 15 minutes ago by WendyG (2072 rep)
#15700 Eff (101 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 0) | posted 18 minutes ago by WendyG (2072 rep)
#15696 Thanos (530 rep) | A: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: -2) | posted 4 hours ago by Thanos (530 rep)
I'd even go one further: 'I prayed for guidance and got the sense/message/ word/whatever that God didn't want me to do this" and then mention something about 'helping those who help themselves...' — mcalex 38 secs ago
#15670 mcalex (366 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by Flummox (338 rep)
@Eff He was the one who came up with the 75% pay for 'house expenses' idea though, he wanted to have that documented in our partnership document. He did this so we could together afford a larger house. That was his proposition and he agreed on this. Just as with the car. His offer, his decision. I told him before I was uncomfortable spending 200 euro a month on a car and that I wanted to keep 100 as my limit to leave room for 'spending money' so he offered to to double it so I could drive a car he deemed better/safer. — JaneDoe1337 1 min ago
#15700 JaneDoe1337 (3594 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 1) | posted 24 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep)
@Eff my husband and I are in similar situation (he earns way more than me), there are 2 ways of looking at it, you both have the same personal money each month and everything else is house money, or you split it 50/50. He made jane extend herself with promises of of paying 75% then started demanding 50/50. he changed the terms NOT Jane. — WendyG 1 min ago
#15700 WendyG (2082 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 1) | posted 30 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep)
@JaneDoe1337 Ah, that certainly is a tough situation to be in. My sympathies. Clearly, it seems that he has changed his mind, and don't want to pay for you anymore. I really don't know what you should do in such a nasty situation. I guess either you both have to live somewhere where you can afford 50/50, or he has to stick to the original deal. Again, I feel for you. It really doesn't sound like a nice relationship dynamic currently. Hope the best for you. — Eff 29 secs ago
#15700 Eff (101 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 1) | posted 31 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep) | edited 9 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep)
@Eff Because the 75%/25% rule is in our partnership document, it also means that if we ever sell it, 75% of whatever we sell it for will be his, only 25% will be mine. So he pays more but he will get a lot more as well. It's not like I'm robbing him of that money, that 75% will never be mine. — JaneDoe1337 15 secs ago
#15700 JaneDoe1337 (3599 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 1) | posted 32 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep)
#15700 Eff (101 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 1) | posted 37 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by WendyG (2082 rep)
Do you work the same hours? Do you do the same amount of house-work/chores/gardening/DIY/looking after dependents? I ask for these two: 1) Can you show that there are non-financial things you do to contribute? 2) Do you both work the same hours? If not, consider that this could be a point of grievance for him. — josh 20 secs ago
#15657 josh (101 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 14) | posted 21 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3599 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3599 rep)
@josh we both work fulltime, but because he owns the place he often starts and ends a couple of hours later than I do. On top of that owning a business comes with a lot of responsibilities and sometimes work related events. Because of this I'm usually home earlier and do most of the chores and groceries. He does try to cook or vacuum every now and then and expresses he's grateful for what I do. — JaneDoe1337 38 secs ago
#15657 JaneDoe1337 (3599 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 14) | posted 21 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3599 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by JaneDoe1337 (3599 rep)
#14831 Mafii (1159 rep) | A: How can I avoid coming across as condescending when telling a coworker I can't work on an issue right now? (score: 136) | posted 27 days ago by Clay07g (4152 rep) | edited 26 days ago by V2Blast (205 rep)
9:37 AM
#15704 A J (6225 rep) | A: How to talk to moms letting their kids play in the streets (score: -2) | posted 23 minutes ago by (deleted user)
9:48 AM
Is there any staff you could involve in this? (I'm specifically wondering if there'd by anyone around that knows how to properly lift weights and is employed by the gym?) — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#15705 Tinkeringbell (18184 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 1) | posted 19 minutes ago by Catheart (615 rep)
#15683 I am bored (121 rep) | Q: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 4) | posted 15 hours ago by I am bored (121 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Cashbee (3350 rep)
10:26 AM
Is there a reason you're using a quote environment for your section titles? I think the answer form has a header format. — Carmeister 1 min ago
#15664 Carmeister (101 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 35) | posted 20 hours ago by Jon.G (2013 rep)
I'm from Europe and haven't been around religious folk a lot, but don't they mean providence in these instances? Like, God didn't actually talk to them, but made OP have an interest in typography so they could help brother out with a tattoo? — LVDV 35 secs ago
#15670 LVDV (756 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 6) | posted 19 hours ago by Flummox (348 rep)
#15670 Flummox (348 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 6) | posted 19 hours ago by Flummox (348 rep)
How would a joint account help in this case? It will just lead to arguments about who pays how much into it and what the money is used for. — Michael 8 secs ago
#15664 Michael (268 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 35) | posted 20 hours ago by Jon.G (2013 rep)
You're making a lot of assumptions as to the behavior and character of the husband, like him disrepecting the OP because of the money they both have at their disposal. Why do you think this is the case? Also, why would there really be no way of discussing finances with the husband? If you could add more to your explanation of why you used these labels for the husband's behaviour the way you did, that would be really useful in determining whether or not this is actually an answer to the question of 'how to discuss finances with my husband' — Tinkeringbell ♦ 15 secs ago
#15703 Tinkeringbell (18185 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by (deleted user)
@JaneDoe1337 exactly what AllTheKingsHorses said. The counselor may give you two a little guidance or pick up on where you want to go, but really his or her job is just to provide some calm moderation and keep you on track. When everything is on the table it's easier to figure things out — Dave Goldberg 1 min ago
#15676 Dave Goldberg (590 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 13) | posted 18 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (590 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (590 rep)
#15670 Nacht (265 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 7) | posted 19 hours ago by Flummox (358 rep)
I don't know if you're aware of that site or not (it's not on your network profile), but you might also want to check out Personal Finance & Money which fields not-dissimilar questions every once in a while. You might find something interesting or useful there, too, though obviously the focus of answers there will be different. — Michael Kjörling 1 min ago
#15657 Michael Kjörling (105 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 15) | posted 22 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3604 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3604 rep)
11:08 AM
I could/would answer this one, but as the question is phrased it is indeed a what to do question. Perhaps if you could phrase it as a question 'What is an appropriate response to a friend's indirect revelation as trans/fluid?' and edit the body such that you leave in your original response, but leave out the questions regarding future conversations with said friend (If I should do ...), because those specifically make this is a 'what to do' type question. — GretchenV 28 secs ago
#15672 GretchenV (1443 rep) | Q: How to react to a conversation where a friend is indirectly revealed as trans/fluid (score: 0) | posted 20 hours ago by Riddler (11 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by A J (6225 rep)
11:31 AM
#15703 GretchenV (1443 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by (deleted user)
This does not really answer the question. If you have a different question, you can ask it by clicking Ask Question. You can also add a bounty to draw more attention to this question once you have enough reputation. - From Review — SQB 37 secs ago
#15701 SQB (4078 rep) | A: How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by Loriz (1 rep)
This does not provide an answer to the question. Once you have sufficient reputation you will be able to comment on any post; instead, provide answers that don't require clarification from the asker. - From Review — SQB 1 min ago
#15704 SQB (4078 rep) | A: How to talk to moms letting their kids play in the streets (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by (deleted user)
12:12 PM
Do you have periodic meetings or such on which you discuss things with the entire group? — Robin 45 secs ago
#15709 Robin (2079 rep) | Q: How to throw out the group mentor in a proper way? (score: 1) | posted 17 minutes ago by V.V.Laseh (6 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1968 rep)
#15659 GretchenV (1443 rep) | Q: Will my anxiety disorder ruin my career? (score: 0) | posted 23 hours ago by Yogesh (1 rep)
There are bi-annual meetings and one is fast approaching. The clique will (very likely) want to "throw" the person out during that meeting. Otherwise we see eacother quite often and are able to discuss these matters in smaller groups regulary. — V.V.Laseh 44 secs ago
#15709 V.V.Laseh (16 rep) | Q: How to throw out the group mentor in a proper way? (score: 3) | posted 25 minutes ago by V.V.Laseh (16 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1968 rep)
I would also suggest doing it at one of those meetings, but I wonder. Have any of you talked to the person about this behavior? Maybe they are willing to change it? You made it sound like their counseling/ tutoring is of a certain worth, so perhaps trying to mend things is a better solution if possible? — Robin 12 secs ago
#15709 Robin (2079 rep) | Q: How to throw out the group mentor in a proper way? (score: 3) | posted 30 minutes ago by V.V.Laseh (16 rep) | edited 16 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1968 rep)
@Steve-O While I appreaciate your consideration of her wishes, OP actually did not say that. She only asked us to take her word for Alice's "condition". Besides that, here on IPS we are allowed to challenge the frame of a question, as long as this provides a better answer to the question and does not just happen out of general disagreement. — Randolph Carter 1 min ago
#15662 Randolph Carter (2251 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 6) | posted 22 hours ago by Steve-O (161 rep)
In response to your specific question in italics: Is the actual issue that you don't want to share everything at this stage? Or is the issue more along the lines of: you feel badly because of the comments she makes (which imply you're not worthy)? — dwizum 43 secs ago
#15710 dwizum (131 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 1) | posted 6 minutes ago by InsertSquirrel (6 rep)
The second point seems like a pretty big "yellow" flag to me. Niceness and having a sports car/two flats are mutually exclusive. — TheRealLester 1 min ago
#15710 TheRealLester (1968 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 1) | posted 6 minutes ago by InsertSquirrel (6 rep)
@TheRealLester I don't know if they're mutually exclusive - some people who own those things are nice. But, I do agree that they have nothing to do with each other in terms of causality (owning those things doesn't imply being nice). — dwizum 46 secs ago
#15710 dwizum (131 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 1) | posted 7 minutes ago by InsertSquirrel (6 rep)
baldPrussian is right, I wouldn't suggest anonymous notes. Even more, I strongly disagree. I did something similar once for the same reasons(lack of hygiene), and the person just raised up and asked "who put this here?". He was sad, angry and ashamed in the same time. I ended up being shown as the bad guy, that doesn't understand other's problem. I was also ashamed for doing it. It is for sure not the best option. I invite you to reconsider. — lukuss 31 secs ago
#15684 lukuss (974 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 17 hours ago by TheRealLester (1968 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by TheRealLester (1968 rep)
He is an excellent tutor and may be ready to take some criticism, but is also quite proud and emotional. I am planning to present this idea (to talk to the person about minor changes and try a middle path) to the clique, but I am not sure if they will want to try it. If you feel that you are not long-term compatible with someone in performing arts and have no fun while doing it, there may really not be much point in persisting. Still, I would like to at least balance the situation at the meeting. The person is fun to hang out from time to time, but hard to work with for the whole season. — V.V.Laseh 1 min ago
#15709 V.V.Laseh (16 rep) | Q: How to throw out the group mentor in a proper way? (score: 3) | posted 49 minutes ago by V.V.Laseh (16 rep) | edited 34 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1968 rep)
#15709 Robin (2079 rep) | Q: How to throw out the group mentor in a proper way? (score: 3) | posted 52 minutes ago by V.V.Laseh (16 rep) | edited 37 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1968 rep)
1:01 PM
I edited your question to remove the should-I questions (off-topic) that were secondary anyway (no multiple questions in one post). Seeing your own edit ("I can't comment so I'm editing the question"), the comment button now reads "suggest improvements", that is probably why you think you cant comment. But editing the question to add more information is actually preferred ;) — Cashbee 1 min ago
#15710 Cashbee (3351 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 2) | posted 38 minutes ago by InsertSquirrel (11 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
If he's Christian, it might be interesting for him to have a read at Leviticus 19:28 — Aserre 57 secs ago
#15658 Aserre (105 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 17) | posted 24 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (399 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by Em C (8193 rep)
1:31 PM
If you strat to be picky about a 4Hour trip, let's be picky. If you would have done this trip without her, you must take in account that it's only her weight in pro rata of the car total weight. It should be about 5% for an average woman in an average car. Do you also want to take in account the assurance and maintenance in the charge ? — Drag and Drop 44 secs ago
#15541 Drag and Drop (101 rep) | Q: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: 66) | posted 5 days ago by The_Bird (439 rep) | edited 4 days ago by The_Bird (439 rep)
Seriously, If you didn't say: "Arg, money is hard this mounth, you mind helping with half of the trip ?". You should not ask for payment if the tarification was not announced before. It's like inviting someone home and ask them to pay for the water and food once they leave... And you don't charge the other for service in an relation ship. Or one can charge Cooking time, cleaning time. Are you going to pay for the epilation ? — Drag and Drop 34 secs ago
#15541 Drag and Drop (101 rep) | Q: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: 66) | posted 5 days ago by The_Bird (439 rep) | edited 4 days ago by The_Bird (439 rep)
I'm not sure if I understand well your reasons for not doing it. There is couple possibilities and it might be important to decode this: (1) you don't feel proficient for it (you would not design a tattoo for anyone, no matter how important person it were for you), (2) you don't like tattoos or his religion and don't want to participate in it, (3) you really don't want to do him a favour such as this, (4) you would do him a favour, but his rude attitude makes you angry and non-willing to do it. It is important to know which one it is to give a good answer. — yo' 12 secs ago
#15658 yo' (432 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 18) | posted 25 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (404 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Em C (8193 rep)
(5)
I'd never desire to have any association between myself and this brother, especially a permanent one with emotional attachment from his side [such as a tattoo], I'm sure he'll use it to attempt some sort of emotional blackmail or perceived bonding between us in the future. Reasons: I feel no sympathy for this brother because this particular brother has long since lost my respect and love, due to a number of attitudes, character flaws, mistreatment and other issues that are irrelevant to this question — Slapped Penguin 1 min ago
#15658 Slapped Penguin (404 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 18) | posted 25 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (404 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Em C (8193 rep)
@SlappedPenguin Well, that falls under (3) in my list I believe. This makes (1) and (2) completely irrelevant IMHO. Thanks for clarifying! — yo' 18 secs ago
#15658 yo' (432 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 18) | posted 25 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (404 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Em C (8193 rep)
@Aserre I'd hate to use any part of the Holiness code (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holiness_code) as the 'Word of God'. As it is/has been used to justify all kinds of bigotry on a biblical basis, it is considered somewhat 'suspect' in modern Christian circles. — GretchenV 29 secs ago
#15658 GretchenV (1443 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 18) | posted 25 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (404 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Em C (8193 rep)
#15708 Kendra (2227 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 24) | posted 2 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
2:14 PM
How do you talk about other important issues? Is this your first serious relationship? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the impression that this less about that one problem specifically but more generally how to share thoughts and feelings with a partner, discuss important things and negotiate the terms of the relationship in general. If you however feel as if you know how to do those other things, I take it back. Perhaps consider if asking a broader question would benefit you more though — Raditz_35 27 secs ago
#15710 Raditz_35 (189 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 5) | posted 1 hours ago by InsertSquirrel (26 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
2:29 PM
#15714 LinuxBlanket (7801 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 0) | posted 2 minutes ago by Steven D. (1 rep)
#15708 jwodder (101 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 25) | posted 3 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
Did it ever happened that someone raised criticism towards him? How did it go? — LinuxBlanket 56 secs ago
#15709 LinuxBlanket (7801 rep) | Q: How to throw out the group mentor in a proper way? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by V.V.Laseh (21 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by TheRealLester (1998 rep)
#15657 algiogia (121 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 20) | posted 26 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3627 rep) | edited 46 minutes ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
@ jwodder. Oh! I didn't know that. Thanks. When I googled "unsolicited advice at the gym" (with quotation marks), about 1,370 results came up. I of course, did not read them, I just wanted to show that many people must have this exact same problem. — Robyn Simpson 1 min ago
#15708 Robyn Simpson (434 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 26) | posted 3 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
I'd suggest you (and your parents more specifically) consider forcing your brother to move out (if he's really that aggressive) with a court order if necessary. Sometimes trying to find a nice solution isn't the safest or best solution for all involved and the picture you paint is not of someone you can reason with. He's an adult and if he's a danger to your parents this needs serious thought. — StephenG 32 secs ago
#15658 StephenG (5341 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 18) | posted 26 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (404 rep) | edited 21 hours ago by Em C (8193 rep)
The question is tagged conflict-aversion. I don't see how this averts a conflict. It seems to do quite the opposite. — F1Krazy 19 secs ago
#15714 F1Krazy (107 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: -1) | posted 15 minutes ago by Steven D. (7 rep)
2:45 PM
@Tinkeringbell Thanks! chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/45231001#45231001 — Words Like Jared 21 secs ago
#3073 Words Like Jared (340 rep) | A: What I can do to make my question a fit for this site? (score: 2) | posted 8 days ago by sphennings (6324 rep)
Without going into detail about anyone's personal circumstances, are you able to back this up with something from your own experience or from publishes sources, something which makes it not just a 'try this', something that gives the OP as reason to have confidence in your answer? — Spagirl 1 min ago
#15711 Spagirl (10789 rep) | A: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by Astralbee (14387 rep)
3:09 PM
At some point, if the relationship moves forward (such as moving in together), there really needs to be a series of discussions (it is way bigger than one talk can handle!) on money and how the couple should handle it, what they want out of it, etc. Not starting to talk about it now only makes it worse in the future. — Jon Custer 13 secs ago
#15711 Jon Custer (101 rep) | A: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by Astralbee (14397 rep)
#15714 F. Emin (150 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: -6) | posted 44 minutes ago by Steven D. (1 rep)
3:27 PM
The partnership agreement states 'house costs' that come with that, to 75/25% sooo... — AbraCadaver 1 min ago
#15657 AbraCadaver (101 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 22) | posted 27 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3637 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cashbee (3351 rep)
I don't disagree with you. However, consider that the situation is one where you keep giving in. How long do you continue giving in ? The OP is about to be at the point where they have no expendable income at all, because everything is going towards expenses that their partner should be paying. There really are only 2 solutions: 1 is dealing with it, and not have any money ever, 2 is a more aggressive approach. BTW, what country is this wonderland of no credit reports ? — xyious 21 secs ago
#15688 xyious (157 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 18 hours ago by xyious (157 rep)
#15658 MichaelK (236 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 21) | posted 27 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (419 rep) | edited 22 hours ago by Em C (8191 rep)
#15658 PatrickT (101 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 21) | posted 27 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (419 rep) | edited 22 hours ago by Em C (8191 rep)
#15688 Cronax (2228 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 18 hours ago by xyious (157 rep)
In germany the Shufa (pretty much the only credit reporting agency) has pretty extensive knowledge about people's financial history. Anyone giving you a loan will check it. — xyious 28 secs ago
#15688 xyious (157 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 18 hours ago by xyious (157 rep)
#15713 Cashbee (3350 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by mbomb007 (238 rep)
#15684 I am bored (121 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 20 hours ago by TheRealLester (2028 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by TheRealLester (2028 rep)
#15657 puck (579 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 22) | posted 27 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3637 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Cashbee (3350 rep)
This seems to fail to meet the OP's specific need to avoid making this a religious argument. "Not getting him angry or in a religious rant: I really don't want to trigger him;" It seems really antagonistic. Can you please explain why you're ignoring this wish so that we can better understand why your solution is a good one? — Catija ♦ 56 secs ago
#15719 Catija (12127 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -1) | posted 4 minutes ago by MichaelK (234 rep)
@TheRealLester I don't think she thinks that somebody has to be financially successful to be nice/great. I'm just a bit worried about how often she mentions financial well being when talking about other people (especially men). I don't think I'm poor by any means and I earn more than what the average salary in my country is. I'm just quite ok with my position and don't care much about getting top 1% salary or whatever (I have other priorities in life). — InsertSquirrel 1 min ago
#15710 InsertSquirrel (61 rep) | Q: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 12) | posted 3 hours ago by InsertSquirrel (61 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Cashbee (3350 rep)
This does not answer OP's question "What can I say to counter his, in my eyes, unfair arguments without it turning into a fight?" — Cashbee 35 secs ago
#15664 Cashbee (3350 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 39) | posted 26 hours ago by Jon.G (2038 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by doppelgreener (257 rep)
I think your "you're a bad person and I want to see you change" should be "you're doing bad things and I want to see you change". Also tell him that many other people are made unhappy by this, to make it clear this isn't just you. — David Thornley 1 min ago
#15717 David Thornley (101 rep) | A: How to throw out the group mentor in a proper way? (score: 0) | posted 41 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (340 rep)
#15676 Cashbee (3350 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 20) | posted 24 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (660 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (660 rep)
@Cashbee my answer is that I don't believe that can be done without confrontation and instead offered a different solution — Jon.G 36 secs ago
#15664 Jon.G (2038 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 39) | posted 26 hours ago by Jon.G (2038 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by doppelgreener (257 rep)
#15664 Jon.G (2038 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 39) | posted 26 hours ago by Jon.G (2038 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by doppelgreener (257 rep)
#15719 MichaelK (232 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -2) | posted 15 minutes ago by MichaelK (232 rep)
This does not answer OP's question "What can I say to counter his, in my eyes, unfair arguments without it turning into a fight?" — Cashbee 2 mins ago
#15700 Cashbee (3350 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 7) | posted 7 hours ago by WendyG (2142 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by WendyG (2142 rep)
Some of the other answers here do a great job of explaining to the OP how to solve the problem without making it about religion at all or they explain why the OP can't expect to refuse without doing so... so I'm not quite sure where you're getting that response. You've done neither of those things. There's more than one option here but ignoring half the question isn't a good fit for this site. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#15719 Catija (12127 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -2) | posted 20 minutes ago by MichaelK (232 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by MichaelK (232 rep)
#15711 RDFozz (206 rep) | A: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 6) | posted 3 hours ago by Astralbee (14417 rep)
@Cashbee yes it does answer the question. What she can say is "let us go together to a neutral third party and resolve our differences". — Dave Goldberg 1 min ago
#15676 Dave Goldberg (660 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 20) | posted 24 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (660 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (660 rep)
@Cashbee Also, in the original question JaneDoe1337 says "I would like to have a proper discussion without it escalating into a fight." Which this clearly answers. — Dave Goldberg 1 min ago
#15676 Dave Goldberg (660 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 20) | posted 24 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (660 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (660 rep)
Give him a design in Comic Sans and CaMel CaSe with bad kerning "Dead Open Don't Inside" word placement. — aslum 17 secs ago
#15658 aslum (1036 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 21) | posted 28 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (418 rep) | edited 23 hours ago by Em C (8190 rep)
5:10 PM
Is this guy aware that bringing in your elbows rearranges the distribution of work between your muscles so it's quite logical for the same motion to be more difficult? — MonkeyZeus 1 min ago
#15705 MonkeyZeus (2145 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 23) | posted 7 hours ago by Catheart (730 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Alina Cretu (555 rep)
#15708 Mindwin (287 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 47) | posted 6 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
#15705 Count Iblis (141 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 23) | posted 7 hours ago by Catheart (730 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Alina Cretu (555 rep)
5:26 PM
#15683 Count Iblis (141 rep) | Q: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 4) | posted 23 hours ago by I am bored (121 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by Cashbee (3350 rep)
5:41 PM
#15708 Azor Ahai (238 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 50) | posted 6 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
#15711 Astralbee (14477 rep) | A: Relationship - dealing with different views about spending money (who should pay for what) (score: 10) | posted 4 hours ago by Astralbee (14477 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Astralbee (14477 rep)
5:59 PM
Sorry, but no, kids do not have a right to play in the roads. Roads are for cars and bikes and other fast moving vehicles. Sidewalks (if they yield to pedestrians), yards, and parks are for kids. 20 MPH is awfully fast compared to a kid playing, but the answer is to remove the kid, not the car. — swbarnes2 just now
#6992 swbarnes2 (1722 rep) | A: How to talk to moms letting their kids play in the streets (score: 5) | posted 211 days ago by Orbit (139 rep)
(-1) Terrible advice, there is no need to unnecessarily escalate the situation. First you try being polite, as you want to give him the benefit of the doubt. This assumes that he is intentionally trying to be annoying. The "nor is anyone else" is also reaching. — clark 7 secs ago
#15728 clark (209 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by gnasher729 (3126 rep)
@Mindwin And in the jurisdictions where that's not illegal, it might speed up the staff deciding to look into it if they know people are being given unsafe advice. Hence why I feel it's important to include. — Kendra 49 secs ago
#15708 Kendra (2227 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 51) | posted 6 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
"If a single guy geek shows up, be flirty for no other reason than to remove any feelings of a threat and thank the couple for inviting that "hot guy" Geekie, if a couple invited him." - this seems pretty manipulative. I'd hate to be the guy that gets flirted with as part of some tactic to coerce your friends' wives. Great advice otherwise though. — Carl Kevinson just now
#15726 Carl Kevinson (683 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 2) | posted 36 minutes ago by Ms Jackson (686 rep)
@AzorAhai Gender/sex is not important when reporting sexual harassment. If anything he is doing to anyone could be considered sexual harassment, then report it. If he is just bothering people, male or female, there's no reason to report him for sexual harassment or even imply it by bringing up specifically female members. — AlexanderJ93 1 min ago
#15708 AlexanderJ93 (101 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 53) | posted 7 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
Has he bothered you again, after you have shown him you are not interested in his advice? Otherwise what you described seems a good approach to the situation. — clark 10 secs ago
#15705 clark (209 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 25) | posted 8 hours ago by Catheart (740 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Alina Cretu (555 rep)
6:44 PM
It doesn't seem like this answers the question of how to maintain a relationship with guys when their wives object, it just says their wives are wrong to object. Could you at least explain why this is not OP's problem? — BlackThorn 54 secs ago
#15729 BlackThorn (1800 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 0) | posted 48 minutes ago by swbarnes2 (1722 rep)
#15729 swbarnes2 (1722 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 0) | posted 53 minutes ago by swbarnes2 (1722 rep)
"...the sooner you'll attract a boyfriend." Citation needed. I think a safer way of wording that is "...the more likely you will have a healthy romantic relationship someday." — BlackThorn 1 min ago
#15727 BlackThorn (1800 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 2) | posted 54 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (370 rep)
#15726 swbarnes2 (1722 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by Ms Jackson (704 rep)
sure she can. There are things she could say and do to guarantee that the wives would never allow their husbands near OP ever again (such as blatant attempts at seducing the husbands, or something like that). Similarly, she can do things to put the wives' minds at ease, like those things mentioned in other answers. OP cannot control their feelings, but she can certainly influence them, and probably should if she wants to maintain her friendships. Anyway, as it stands, your post is not an answer, and I recommend at the very least giving something OP can take action on to help her situation. — BlackThorn 14 secs ago
#15729 BlackThorn (1800 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by swbarnes2 (1722 rep)
7:13 PM
I've not known stereotypical "geeks" to be particularly extroverted. Trying to put together an event with as many people as possible would be a huge sign to me that something is amiss, at least among my group of friends (I also consider myself a "geek" of sorts). — Mage Xy 31 secs ago
#15726 Mage Xy (170 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by Ms Jackson (714 rep)
7:26 PM
This is making some assumptions about the brother's beliefs, and seems to disregard OP's goal of avoiding a religious-based argument. — Em C 24 secs ago
#15712 Em C (8188 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -2) | posted 6 hours ago by Keeta (260 rep)
Please give me an example of a Christian belief that I have assumed that wasn't already stated by OP. This is avoiding the argument by saying he is waiting on God. — Keeta 37 secs ago
#15712 Keeta (260 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -2) | posted 6 hours ago by Keeta (260 rep)
Have you talked with them (your SO at a minimum, it may or may not be appropriate with your kids depending on their specific ages) about how they feel and what they are trying to accomplish when you are in a depressed state? It's easy to guess at others' intentions, but hard to guess correctly. — Upper_Case 11 secs ago
#15730 Upper_Case (2509 rep) | Q: While in a bad mood, how to tell others I should be left alone? (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by nurgle (176 rep)
Is this also true of friends who've been married for a while or just recent newlyweds? — Jared Smith 59 secs ago
#15724 Jared Smith (747 rep) | Q: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 13) | posted 2 hours ago by Galastel (2356 rep)
Perhaps then you will feel how long it took before he gained from his steroids :) — Willem Van Onsem 52 secs ago
#15733 Willem Van Onsem (103 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: -2) | posted 41 minutes ago by Yung Tortle (1 rep)
#15735 reznor (1 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: -1) | posted 16 minutes ago by reznor (1 rep)
#15712 Ash (1617 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 6 hours ago by Keeta (258 rep)
The only thing we know about the brother's religious beliefs is "a branch of Christianity" and "God told me it had to be you [to design it]". There are many branches of Christianity (as many commenters have pointed out, some which don't even approve of tattoos) and he could have fallen into a cult for all we know. The OT Christian god definitely was in the destruction business in a few cases anyhow.. — Em C 28 secs ago
#15712 Em C (8188 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 6 hours ago by Keeta (258 rep)
The problem with this is a tattoo is permanent. Assuming the description of the brother is accurate there is a high risk that if he ever decides he doesn't like the tattoo (or changes religion or anything) he will blame the OP ... even to the extent of demanding the OP pay for tattoo removal etc. — Tim B 35 secs ago
#15668 Tim B (493 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 3) | posted 28 hours ago by Tom (752 rep)
#15735 clark (209 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: -1) | posted 23 minutes ago by reznor (1 rep)
...and that time can be whatever he wants. He can wait on God as long as he is waiting on God. (and if by some miracle God shows him a design, I would think he would do it) If his brother is blaming the situation on God stating he had to do it, he can just as easily state the lack of inspiration is God's fault. — Keeta 1 min ago
#15712 Keeta (258 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 6 hours ago by Keeta (258 rep)
#15705 clark (209 rep) | Q: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 27) | posted 10 hours ago by Catheart (750 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by Alina Cretu (555 rep)
If you have a new question, please ask it by clicking the Ask Question button. Include a link to this question if it helps provide context. - From Review — Jon.G 1 min ago
#15729 Jon.G (2057 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by swbarnes2 (1740 rep)
8:13 PM
Nah, you used the right flag, but people in the review queue voted "Looks OK". This is more a problem with reviewers disagreeing with / not knowing about the policy. There's been some confusion: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3072/… — Em C 14 secs ago
#3085 Em C (8187 rep) | Q: How is this answer not a violation of the "back it up" policy? (score: 0) | posted 3 hours ago by Froopy (216 rep)
8:35 PM
#15726 Ms Jackson (742 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 5) | posted 2 hours ago by Ms Jackson (742 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Ms Jackson (742 rep)
"It is possible your father could take the 'news' badly - it is also possible that it may explain things that have troubled him his entire life but never spoken of." For this reason plus the fact that I would want to know if it were me, I would tell my father. Alone, I'd approach it from the "Isn't science interesting? Look what this test shows..." with no pressure in my voice. I'd monitor his response and go from there. After that, no need to bring it up. I know it's hard because you have a lot of questions. Whatever route you choose, choose the path that honors your father the most. — Laura 1 min ago
#7393 Laura (138 rep) | A: How do I reveal to my father that his father is not his biological father? (score: 8) | posted 202 days ago by Astralbee (14505 rep)
9:03 PM
"sacrifice your friendship for the sake of their marriage" - I think this is way too extreme... (1) Friendships aren't something you just drop and (2) you can never know if it really makes a difference in the first place (maybe it will worsen the situation actually!) — Hamsterrific 31 secs ago
#15727 Hamsterrific (103 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 10) | posted 3 hours ago by Words Like Jared (488 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (488 rep)
> When I message or text a married woman I do group texts between her and her husband. — spacetyper 35 secs ago
#15727 spacetyper (565 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 10) | posted 3 hours ago by Words Like Jared (488 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (488 rep)
@Hamsterrific: I meant if your friendship was making their marriage worse at all, your friendship should go. Do you disagree with that? — Words Like Jared 9 secs ago
#15727 Words Like Jared (488 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 10) | posted 3 hours ago by Words Like Jared (488 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (488 rep)
@WordsLikeJared no, but it is very hard to safely conclude that the friendship is indeed hurting the marriage, since there are always a lot of variables at once. I think you made it seem too simple in your answer, perhaps you could expand to that, clarifying that such decision should take place only after thorough thought. — Hamsterrific 13 secs ago
#15727 Hamsterrific (103 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 11) | posted 3 hours ago by Words Like Jared (498 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (498 rep)
@WordsLikeJared If a genuine friendship is making a marriage worse, then the marriage wasn't meant to be to begin with. That seems very controlling. — spacetyper 2 mins ago
#15727 spacetyper (565 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 11) | posted 3 hours ago by Words Like Jared (498 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (498 rep)
@Jon.G while I agree with the comments that it is not an answer, it also in no way resembles a new question. — WGroleau 11 secs ago
#15729 WGroleau (502 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by swbarnes2 (1736 rep)
She shares the games with the guys, but the wives could also be invited and if they don’t want to do the game, they might have a good time doing something else together in the next room. — WGroleau 30 secs ago
#15734 WGroleau (501 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by Anoplexian (1511 rep)
#15727 Words Like Jared (518 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 13) | posted 3 hours ago by Words Like Jared (518 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (518 rep)
@Upper_Case I've spoken with my SO about it before, but didn't occur to me to ask what they were trying to do. I know it upsets them and they said they feel like it's their fault. I have said it's not but I would understand if they weren't 100% convinced. — nurgle 36 secs ago
#15730 nurgle (181 rep) | Q: While in a bad mood, how to tell others I should be left alone? (score: 4) | posted 3 hours ago by nurgle (181 rep)
9:38 PM
#15708 Mr. Normal (101 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 62) | posted 10 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
@clark That's what the OP said. And there is no "escalating". If he tries to escalate, he will be thrown out of the gym which will otherwise lose customers. — gnasher729 1 min ago
#15728 gnasher729 (3126 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by gnasher729 (3126 rep)
9:52 PM
You are asking about software development. As a software developer, I trust nobody, including myself. If you as a software developer are hurt by someone double checking, then you are in the wrong profession. The same would apply to airplane pilots, surgeons, everyone where the cost of a mistake far outweighs the cost of double checking. — gnasher729 52 secs ago
#15695 gnasher729 (3126 rep) | Q: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 7) | posted 18 hours ago by Mark T (39 rep) | edited 9 minutes ago by Mark T (39 rep)
#15658 RBarryYoung (101 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 24) | posted 33 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (434 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (434 rep)
@nvoigt Usually there is no specific thing that isn't understood. Usually there are lots of little things, and each on its own is simple, but the big picture how everything fits together isn't at all obvious. — gnasher729 35 secs ago
#15695 gnasher729 (3126 rep) | Q: How to deal with a coworker who constantly double check all I say? (score: 7) | posted 18 hours ago by Mark T (39 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by Mark T (39 rep)
#15727 Hamsterrific (103 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 18) | posted 4 hours ago by Words Like Jared (540 rep) | edited 41 minutes ago by Words Like Jared (540 rep)
Simply making a logical argument is often not enough to convince someone, especially not when it comes to relationships nor for OP's brother, I imagine. How do you suggest approaching telling him? How do you expect he'll take this? — NotThatGuy 1 min ago
#15661 NotThatGuy (2361 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 69) | posted 33 hours ago by gnasher729 (3126 rep)
10:14 PM
No, it doesn't need to be at the beginning. @JoL But I don't think this answer is the best place for such a discussion. ;) — Mr. Normal 1 min ago
#15708 Mr. Normal (101 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 62) | posted 11 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
@Mr.Normal lol. For that matter, I think yours also won't ping. The
@jwodder must be at the beginning of the comment to work. — JoL 2 mins ago
#15708 JoL (171 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 62) | posted 11 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
10:29 PM
#15728 clark (209 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: -1) | posted 4 hours ago by gnasher729 (3126 rep) | edited 45 minutes ago by gnasher729 (3126 rep)
From OP's description I am more convinced that he is unaware on what is socially acceptable, not that he is necessarily doing this maliciously. Someone can start with being polite but at the same time be direct, and then if necessary being rude to him. For instance instance "thanks for trying to help, but I am not interested in a suggestions." If the polite approach works then, it is more likely that there will not be bad blood between him and the OP, plus he can always be rude later on. Also, if he is being rude and the guy is mentally unstable, which is not entirely unlikely, there is no — clark 25 secs ago
#15728 clark (209 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: -1) | posted 4 hours ago by gnasher729 (3126 rep) | edited 45 minutes ago by gnasher729 (3126 rep)
10:50 PM
#15708 clark (209 rep) | A: How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways (score: 62) | posted 11 hours ago by Robyn Simpson (434 rep)
thankyou. I spoke to my SO just now touching on the points you made, and their response was very positive. I'm going to speak with my doctor even though this is normal for me, and follow their advice if they think anything is to be done - telling my SO this helped alot. — nurgle 10 secs ago
#15732 nurgle (183 rep) | A: While in a bad mood, how to tell others I should be left alone? (score: 4) | posted 4 hours ago by Words Like Jared (555 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Words Like Jared (555 rep)
#15739 nurgle (183 rep) | A: While in a bad mood, how to tell others I should be left alone? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Upper_Case (2529 rep)
I'm really sorry, Peter, but we can't read her mind and tell you what she's thinking or how she feels about you. What is your goal? To find out whether she likes you or not? To find out why she's slow in responding? Figure out what your goal is in actually interacting with her and edit your question to ask about how to achieve that goal. Until then, I'm going to close your question. Editing it will put it in the reopen queue and users will be able to vote to reopen your question. Thanks! — Catija ♦ 39 secs ago
#15743 Catija (12127 rep) | Q: Response Type to Complex Texting Patterns (score: 0) | posted 6 minutes ago by Peter Rothman (1 rep)
11:20 PM
Do you find anyone else interesting? If so, who? Do you find yourself interesting? What non-people stuff do you find interesting? — Words Like Jared 1 min ago
#15744 Words Like Jared (555 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 17 minutes ago by tutizeri (1 rep)
I like how we are using the word "geek" in a way that seems to describe an entirely different species. — Clay07g 51 secs ago
#15726 Clay07g (4150 rep) | A: How to maintain friendship with guys after they're married? (score: 5) | posted 5 hours ago by Ms Jackson (750 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Ms Jackson (750 rep)
@I may find some people in Youtube interesting, but they have the purpose of entertaining me. When I see a person, I don't need to know anything about them, and I wonder what other people finds so valuable as to start a conversation. — tutizeri 2 mins ago
#15744 tutizeri (1 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: -1) | posted 22 minutes ago by tutizeri (1 rep)
As @Catija pointed out, even after your edit, this is very opinion based. You want us to tell you how interested she is - she's the only one who can answer. There's not really an interpersonal problem in this. If you wanted to talk about how to achieve a specific goal, that's one thing, but "tell me if this is worth doing" isn't really workable. — Ash 1 min ago
#15743 Ash (1619 rep) | Q: Response Type to Complex Texting Patterns (score: 0) | posted 35 minutes ago by Peter Rothman (1 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by Peter Rothman (1 rep)
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because while this may be a good question, it seems to be an intrapersonal issue as opposed to an interpersonal one. — scohe001 54 secs ago
#15744 scohe001 (5108 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 36 minutes ago by tutizeri (6 rep)
This has a good start, but questions 2 and 3 are really not interpersonal skills questions. Those belong more with an attorney than with strangers on the internet. — baldPrussian 25 secs ago
#15746 baldPrussian (18441 rep) | Q: How do I tell my parents I won't be able to help them (score: 0) | posted 17 minutes ago by Phil A (1 rep)
#15744 tutizeri (6 rep) | Q: How can I get interested in other people? (score: 0) | posted 40 minutes ago by tutizeri (6 rep)
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