The Awkward Silence - 2019-01-03

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Extroverted Main Man

12:28 AM

0

Q: How to request close friends to improve food serving cleanliness?

I spent New Year's yesterday at the home of a close friend. I ate dinner at his house along with his family and extended family. I generally enjoy their place except for one thing - lapses in food serving hygiene. For example, yesterday I saw utensils used to handle raw meat being in very close c...

friends conflicts

7 hours later…

7:14 AM

Is "common knowledge", or just the meaning of a phrase good enough for back up?

0

A: How can I ask my brother to stop saying "future sister in law" when referring to his girl of interest?

First of all, having your own names you are most comfortable calling someone, for example, perhaps you would rather call your brothers fiancee "Lisa". I think this is more than fine, its just not the focus of your question. The obvious goal of your question is to change the way your brother refe...

I thought basically everyone knew that "future sister-in-law" literally means your siblings fiancee

but its been viewed 151 times and nobody said anything?

@Jesse Indeed, it does seem a bit odd.

7:55 AM

Good day everyone! :)

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8:46 AM

user image

user image

ooh :D

I took these on my local bike trails yesterday.

The benefit of a GoPro is that I can carry it around on my helmet, get footage of cycling, and also use it for photography like this without lugging around a heavy camera! :D

This is beautiful

9:18 AM

Ok folks, as this stuff away is an incredible opportunity to win SE goodies, I tried my luck

9:32 AM

Heya :) happy new year to all of you :)

@avazula: Hah I knew that this avatar is you. I just spotted that unknown avatar, said to my self, I bet thats ava, hoovered it and got confirmed xD Too predictable you are :P

@avazula #MeToo

@dhein Happy New year!!!

10:03 AM

@avazula Nice goggles by the way. ;P

same ^^ But to be honest.... I feel a bit bad about it, as I must admit... my intention for doing that isn't primary wanting to help others but wanting a SE lootbox :x

@dhein there's an ol' saying: "the end justifies the means" :p

Thank you :3

I did the same yesterday before bedtime ^^

@avazula I'm glad you used paint, just thinking about blood makes me feel bad (that the main reason about why I never had the guts to do a blood donation)

@Noon Heh, I'm happy it helped then :)

10:22 AM

@avazula Also, I like that you are giving blood and I like your post. A lot of the other answers are about giving stuff that you don't need anymore (which is nice) but you and @Mith (and probably others) are giving things that you do need (blood for you, time for Mith)

Extroverted Main Man

10:59 AM

0

Q: Communicating tiredness issues to your chef

TL;DR: I didn't participate in the Christmas work meal, how to say that it was because I have tiredness issues without sounding like a bad recruit? I'm newly hired in a company and I'm still on probation. For Christmas, my company offered us a trip to an amusement park followed by a Christma...

work-environment autism-spectrum

0

Q: How do I make an impact in a new workplace so no one takes me for granted?

I am an experienced guy but in one workplace for so many years. I am moving to a new place abroad, I am super nice and say everything with a smile on my face and even if someone is a bit bad to me but the problem is that everyone takes me for granted and shouts at me if I do a bit wrong but not...

etiquette professionalism bullying self-esteem respect

Not wanting to degrade the intend of spending blood at all, and I also get the inted of your message @Noon and agree with you. BUT the nitpicky something I am, I have to add: you don't need the full amount of blood in your body. about 10~15% AFAIK are just held as reserves by your body, so you don't just die from loosing some blood. :P

@dhein That's true. It's just that I found way more easy to give a t-shirt (that you can buy back) than giving blood (this you definitively can't buy it back)

As said, I agree with you :)

@dhein 10-15% seems like such a tiny reserve :o

@Noon I found a delicious recipe of vegan "gratin dauphinois" yesterday, I'm delighted with my lunch today

probably more 15% like 10% but yeh, the reserve actually isn't thaaaat much since there has to be a degree of cost/use for our biologics. :P

11:05 AM

@avazula Hey, that's a specialty from my home! \o/

:D

@Noon: I am not in a condition to prhase a answer to your post but, have you considered, naming it "sensual overstimulation" rather than "tiredness issues"? Or would that be a complet different matter and not feel on point? Cause sensual overstimulation leads to tiredness, but the cause sounds way less negatively in regards of intersocial situations, than naming it by the result.

@dhein Unfortunately, "sensual overstimulation" isn't taken very seriously in France, from my own experience...

Ah, ok. That changes things

:/

11:10 AM

nvoigts comment made me laugh. Cause his objection is true '^.^

@dhein They wouldn't have understood it and I would still have had to explain that it lead to tiredness

@Noon: Yeh I get that. just thought explaining sensual overstimulation might be possible without implying the negatives that explaining the reasons for tiredness would bring with it. But I get it.

@Noon erh, that sucks that they directly told you but still afterwards that the meal was important for team building. Are they your boss who dress in fancy clothes and likes to broom?

@avazula Broom? But it's my N+1, the one who told me that dressing well is important (so, it's not one of the two big chef)

The funny thing is, the whole OP would still make sense if it was "your chef" rather than "your boss" you were talking about. Talking out of a sudden about the meal, makes it even more convenient :P

11:16 AM

@Tink do you think we could ask Shog to provide us IPS' statistics in two distinct datasets, namely before and after the HNQ event? I'm interested in verifying its impact statistically and not making any more assumptions about its effects

@avazula +1

@dhein If you want to provide an answer with "your chef" that also have this double meaning, feel free to do so :p

@Noon Oh, I thought it was one of the big bosses who wanted you to dress differently. But now it makes me think that your N+1 really cares about ~~faking~~ appearances

@Noon: Hah :D Very funny idea. I would love to accept that challange. But sadly as said, I don't have the energy right now to set my self into someone elses shoes and consider their problems. Sorry for that :x

@avazula Yeah, I think he does :/

@dhein take care of yourself pal ♥

@Noon Erh :( that's a b*mmer.

11:19 AM

@dhein Ahah, no problem ^^ And, as ava says, take care of you :)

I am giving my best :) Thanks.

@avazula I hope it won't be too much of an issue, though (and is the b*mmer word a swear word???)

@Noon Well I heard someone in here that it is, yes so, in being cautious I censor it :)

I was wondering too, whiy there was a star in it :P Anyways. I am out for now. Going into homeoffice and will be back in like 3 hours. Not sure if I'll check in here. So have a nice day.

@dhein Nice day to you too! :)

11:22 AM

@Noon Well, all you need is to keep up until the end of your probation, then they shouldn't be able to bother you anymore on such trifling matters.

@avazula Those English speaking people do have a lot of swear words!

But of course keeping up until is a hard thing to do ...

@Noon Yeah, I struggle to keep up with them too ... :p

@avazula Yep, that's what I'm planning to do. I still hope they won't have another team building meal though (as I hate doing socialisation with coworker after work hours)

@dhein HAND!

@Noon When is your probation's ending?

@avazula In a little less than three month (unless they decide to prolong it)

11:26 AM

@Noon Errrhh. That's long. Lots of courage.

@avazula Thanks <3

♥

Funny how this chat led us to become friends :D

IPS is the best

BTW, I finished our drawing:

Yeah, I love that too :D

Oh, did you two do that meeting in real life?

@Mithrandir Yes we did!!!

11:28 AM

Nice!

user image

5

@avazula You added new stuff! I love it! <3

I still need to color it :p

@avazula I can't wait for it <3

Also, ava is now Rapunzel

11:30 AM

@Noon Wait for it, I'm planning to send you the original uncolored so you can do it yourself

@Mithrandir Yet Noon is still a tree haha

@avazula I don't know if I will be able to do so, I will probably be too afraid to not make it as nice as it should be (but I'm planning on coloring copies of it :D )

@avazula But I would love to get the original <3

Upcoming mail: original + 5 copies haha

@avazula I think you can put that in a comment ;)

@Tinkeringbell Thanks :) I didn't want to come across as rude by doing so, but now that I have your blessing I'm reassured :D

Hahaha Just ask nicely. Say that you're curious ;) And don't expect an answer :P

11:35 AM

@avazula <3 But you don't need to make the copies, I have the work photocopier for that :P

@Noon See, that is something legit to get fired for haha

@Tinkeringbell Done. Thank you for the advice.

@avazula Haha, yeah :p But I do hope no one was ever fired for making less than 10 personal copies a month ^^'

@Noon I hope too, otherwise what a capitalistic world we'd be in

12:38 PM

help-requested | Struggle explaining that some parts are off-topic and need to be edited | interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/20482/4550

2 hours later…

2:16 PM

@avazula damn, that pictures is awesome! I love your style 😍

2:27 PM

@dhein I think the term you want in English is "sensory overload"? "sensual" .. usually has some nsfw connotations

but on the other hand I've never heard of "bummer" being a bad word, and I grew up in an environment where "darn" and "butt" were considered iffy :P

2:53 PM

@EmC yeah... dunno what I said then, but I meant what you said 🙈

Am I the only one finding this question difficult to understand?

3:12 PM

Nope, I voted to close it as unclear

3:28 PM

user image

3

#meetingsafternoon

@EmC Haha, I wasn't sure about that one either but since I trust @dhein's English I didn't question it :p

Oh okay, then I'll use "what a bummer" all the time from now on :D

El'endia Starman

Yeah, I have never seen "bummer" treated as anything close to a swear word.

Good to know :)

@Noon it's also copy pasted from another site :/

@EmC i initially wanted to flag it for moderation intervention on both sites to warn mods about it and see whether they could do something

but then I got caught up in the Meetings Thursday Afternoon, which may be the most evil invention on Earth

Except for Meetings Friday Afternoon

@avazula yuck :(

3:35 PM

@EmC Erh, at least I have stuff to do now, yay:D

It breaks quite a long period of underemployment and that is, in itself, a relief

that's definitely good :D I suppose meetings are a necessary evil (to some extent)

@avazula Well.... you shouldnt. My english is okish. But thats it :‘D

4:36 PM

@EmC I don't want to be annoying but I'm bored, would love some reading and you still haven't answer ava's latest meta post about old users not following guideline (and you mention before that you were thinking about doing it) ^^

@Noon no worries :) i'm hoping to get some todo's knocked off my list this weekend ;)

Yay \o/

2 hours later…

Introverted Meta Man.

7:07 PM

0

Q: How to have more reopened question?

As there is a consequent number of questions getting the "On Hold" state (for good reasons) I was still wondering how it would possible to increase the number of questions reopened. The "On Hold" problem, and his fixes, are probably knowns by most people reading this. Still, a lot of questions,...

feature-request closed-questions

7:49 PM

→ 16 messages moved to Trash

slow afternoon here..

@EmC Aren't they always?

@Rainbacon especially after holidays!

8:02 PM

We just need to get a larger contingent of people in North and South America so there will be more people to be online here in our afternoons

agreed! I don't think we have any regulars in central / south america ... yet :D

new meta question: how do we recruit more chatters in the Americas :P

There's more meta activity than I've seen in a while. Sorry about that.

user image

3

I'm a bit too busy to join in chatting ;)

@sphennings No, this is good :) Meta activity is always good. Though I understand it may be a bit detrimental to your answer that that now has two discussions going on at once: both about the lifehacks and about the edit you made.

@sphennings eh, I think it's good we're having (productive) meta discussions :)

Don't take it too hard though. Everyone here (and there) knows and understands you meant well :)

8:10 PM

@Tinkeringbell so pretty!

@Tinkeringbell That's amazing. Do you take commissions?

@sphennings Thanks... and uh.. I really sometimes do, but I'm picky about what I take. Usually, that amounts to small baby booties and not much else ;)

8:40 PM

Howdy, long time no see! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I dropped a MOAB on meta. Have a nice day.

@peufeu you have an answer in the comments already

@sphennings wins FGITW of meta today :P

8:57 PM

@EmC Technically @Rainbacon posted before I did. I was collecting links and trying to write up some context when they dropped their comment.

So you mean IPS was removed from "hot questions" because of this twitter bullshit?

@peufeu Mostly, yes

@peufeu That was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.

HNQ was an acknowledged problem for this site before that.

-217

Q: Revisiting the "Hot Network Questions" feature, what are our shared goals for having it?

Some things happened yesterday that caused a need for us to (quickly) remove a site's eligibility to contribute to the list of hot network questions. For those of you not familiar with what we've come to call the 'HNQ' list, please visit the link; the list of questions shown as 'hot' on stackexch...

discussion hot-questions

If you want to read up on the general StackExchange user response to us being knocked off HNQ, that's the place^

31

Q: Does IPS want to be back on HNQ?

So as you all know, questions on Interpersonal Skills are no longer shown on the Hot Network Questions sidebar. As much as can be said about the way this came to be, it is interesting to reflect on the HNQ and what it does to the site. HNQ is a double edged sword. On one side, It brings a lot of...

discussion hot-network-questions

^ another relevant meta since then

9:10 PM

@peufeu Language please. Let's not label stuff you personally don't agree with 'bullshit'

Again... Language!

@peufeu I'd rather not rehash previously hashed hash. But suffice to say that Tim and the dev team took a good amount of flak for it. I'm trying to find Monica's blog post, as that was the most succinct user response I read, but I can't seem to dig it up...

@scohe001 no need to waste your time on this, I get the idea.

The most upvoted answers on the link you posted are sane though.

@scohe001 She had more than one post, I believe, but this one was the main one, I think:

medium.com/@cellio/…

@Alex yup, that's the one! Thanks Alex

You're Welcome.

9:21 PM

The term "SJW" is almost never an indication of a constructive conversation. If you want people to take you seriously, @peufeu, you'd be best off avoiding it, with the added benefit of sounding less like a jerk... 'cause using that term will kinda give that impression.

@Mithrandir, nope.

Be Nice applies to people who aren't users of the site as well. Calling someone a "random SJW on Twitter"... is certainly not being nice.

@Alex Nice post by Monica. Looks like she was really hurt by this.

Also... don't dismiss someone's concerns just because they're not a regular user of the site. Instead, perhaps take into account that other people will have a different perspective, and that perception is reality.

@Mithrandir You are asking me to extend sympathy to a random internet troll who attacked well meaning people with intent to harm them. I won't.

That said, I never found anything "hot" or interesting in the hot network question panel.

9:27 PM

Holy subject change, Batman! The stuffaway is already up to 110 answers!! Better hope they had enough in their warehouse for that many shoe-boxes :p

Also I'm both surprised and dismayed that there are still downvotes on answers even on a challenge like this

@scohe001 ? Did you get a downvote?

@scohe001 dang, that's only a few less than the time contest entries!

@scohe001 That is, indeed, impressive!

@Tinkeringbell I haven't, no. But just from looking at the vote counts on other answers, I've seen a few floating around

@peufeu Here's a follow-up post she wrote: cellio.dreamwidth.org/2018/11/20/se-twitter-fail.html

9:30 PM

@EmC and on day 2 O_O

@scohe001 Either tactical downvotes perhaps ('I want my post above yours!') or people disagreeing with the picked charity?

I haven't seen any.

@scohe001 :/

@Tinkeringbell I have one (which I was expected) and the "question" itself got seven

@Noon For the question, I've seen enough 'I don't like this' going around chatrooms to understand that ;)

Fun fact: I've already unprotected that question 19 times. :P

@Tinkeringbell Oww! But why would people protect that?

9:35 PM

auto-protection

@Noon The Community user protects questions when there's too many answers by 101 or 1 rep users.

@Tinkeringbell Oh, that's explain it. Not fun for you XD

I've now got a piece of script running in the console that just tries to unprotect it every few minutes ;)

So it's usually automatically unprotected too ;)

@Alex thanks. Monica's posts are usually very nice, thoughtful and high quality. But there, she sounds like she has for the first time gazed into the eye of Sauron and encountered a form of evil she can't understand...

@Tinkeringbell Haha, that's smart XD

9:36 PM

(Someone else wrote it)

I'm not that smart :P

@peufeu Interesting metaphor...

When I gaze into the Eye of Sauron, I usually see the visor of a helmet.

Of course, since that's what I named my GoPro...

@Mithrandir Why am I not surprise x)

It's black. I figured that would be appropriate.

@Tinkeringbell Pfff, I knew you mod where all cheaters and fackers! :P

@Mithrandir That plus the fact that you love LOTR :p

9:41 PM

;)

peufeu, you were told not to use that kind of language.

That is not up for debate.

Introverted Meta Man.

9:57 PM

1

Q: What happened in October 2018?

I've recently come back and posted a few answers, and was surprised at the lack of interaction. In fact, this site seems quite dead. Thus I played with the Stackexchange Data Explorer a bit, it's a neat toy. This begs a question. What happened around mid-October 2018? X-Axis is question creati...

discussion beta

1 hour later…

11:04 PM

That was deleted pretty quick ;)

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