The Awkward Silence - 2018-07-19 (page 1 of 3)

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Extroverted Main Man

12:42 AM

0

Q: how to respectfully tell my roommate that i dont want to share my room

I am a 20 year old boy from India, last year I moved out from home and came to city for higher studies. Initially I was made to share room ( and room for students generally means a bedroom) with 3 other roommates which was good in beginning but later I suffered as I am a lark and love waking up b...

4 hours later…

4:54 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan phrasing request?

@ExtrovertedMainMan "I am not comfortable here. And hence, I am moving out "

5:18 AM

@Sid Sure. but that doesn't explain which part of respectfully they're struggling with, and is sounding a lot like asking 'gimme words to say'

Oh wait XD That was your answer :P

I've put that thing on hold before people actually start answering like that :)

5:36 AM

o/

Morning Marcus :)

Extroverted Main Man

6:07 AM

0

Q: Neighbor unhappy with the fact I asked his kids to return our toys

My neighbour came over yesterday and addressed me in a rather aggressive tone, he complained that 'kids will be kids' and that 'my bins shouldn't be where they are'. He has never mentioned the bins before so I'm treating that separately. With the kids though, he was unhappy that once again I had...

boundaries neighbors children

Extroverted Main Man

6:58 AM

0

Q: How to give constructive feedback to a restaurant owner when they ask after a meal?

So I had a interesting incident recently, and I wonder if I addressed it properly. My friend and I stumbled into an amazing Mexican place after an event we attended. This restaurant was sort low-key, hole-in-the-wall type of place, super authentic food, and with excellent service. We loved it im...

united-states restaurants

7:43 AM

both true positives

one moment and i'll clean up

→ 75 messages moved to Trash

awh, was just gonne make a joke about you spamming the same message so often it filled up my entire screen :p

8:00 AM

hey, @tink, I can start noticing again ;)

@Mithrandir I'm going to rate-limit you to max. 5 a day :P

That gives us the time to handle them well, and you don't end up with huge lists of pending flags (hopefully) that get you flagbanned if we do decide to decline em :P

don't worry, i almost definitely won't exceed that

@Mithrandir Cool :) Have at it, then :)

eyeballs-requested | "try this" | What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours?

8:35 AM

Hello Secespitus! Sorry to hear you didn't win the worldbuilding election... It was very close though :)

@Tinkeringbell Hi! Thanks, next time maybe.

@Secespitus I hope so! :D

In the mean time you can hang out here as well ;)

@scohe001 ... Really? :P interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/16503/1599 was HNQ, got a load of answers XD :P

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to help my Significant Other to "grow up"

My significant other (referred to as 'they' or ‘SO’) is now close to 30 but I feel that in many aspects they are immature to such an extent that it makes our lives unnecessarily difficult. How can I help SO to "grow up" without jeopardizing our relationship and hurting SO? Some remarks in advanc...

relationships responsibility maturity young-adults

Extroverted Main Man

8:55 AM

1

Q: "You're welcome" not preceded by "Thanks". Subtle hint I should have said "Thanks"?

Sometimes, people say "You're welcome" when I haven't said "Thanks". Perhaps I've only nodded to them or perhaps I've not even been aware there was something to thank them for. Is this a deliberate hint that I should have thanked them, or am I overthinking this and may people say this semi-auto...

9:05 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan can we have some more eyes on that question please?

@Cashbee Some of OP's other questions are tagged "Aspergers"... so it may well be they're asking because of that...

that doesn't make the q more on-topic

@Cashbee True...

@Cashbee Would 'how to recognize a subtle hint' be better?

@Tinkeringbell very broad

@Cashbee If they can add a specific circumstance?

9:15 AM

then they either already recognized the hint or they didn't and wouldn't think there was one in that circumstance. would not make sense, I can't see any example where it would work

:/ Guess you're right..

9:27 AM

→ 22 messages moved to Trash

9:53 AM

Hi there!

@Tinkeringbell But having 500+ pending custom flags is fun

for a very particular definition of fun

@avazula plz flag spam as spam instead of voting to delete

Flagging as spam blacklists spammer's IP. :)

10:18 AM

Hi :)

Yello

How is everyone?

I am good. How about you?

Pretty good. I read that the Google office in Zürich has a slide. Now I want a slide at work too.

We're pretty close at convincing them to build a football field for us

Hi @doppelgreener

Hi! o/

10:38 AM

@Belle-Sophie my flatmate once worked for google zurich as a chef

@Belle-Sophie Booored.

But okay otherwise :) Free ice-cream at lunch because it's hot today :)

it was crazy - massages, insane recreation room, whatever you wanted

:( That sound amazing. I just have a desk, and a spotify playlist with disney songs to satisfy my inner child.

@Tinkeringbell No music or headphones allowed here

I would enjoy working for google. I hear they have flextime and in house lunch every day

they have many many incentives.

10:49 AM

@Magisch How are you supposed to concentrate? (not that I'm doing that right now... but I'd go crazy if I'd had to listen to managers having impromptu meetings the entire day)

They also only hire the best of the best devs

@Tinkeringbell with great difficulty

@Belle-Sophie We got a slide too, but it ends in the garbage bin. :P

11:03 AM

@AJ That goes from WEEEEE to instant regret

I want ice cream too :( I considered driving to the nearby town to buy ice cream for my office mates but it was 40 degrees in my car

@Belle-Sophie from "WEEEEE" to "EEEEEW"

3

@Belle-Sophie Or to a economically efficient way of showing people they're getting fired, if being devious for a second

33°C here.

lol

I can't complain about my workplace much. Even my manager is great besides the one thing I mentioned in my WP question.

Best thing is the location. Rent is crazy cheap over here.

rent is also really cheap here

not really the case here, but I live in shared apartment with 3 others, so my rent is ridiculously cheap in comparison to others here

11:12 AM

Always nice :) my friends from 'the city' wonder how I can afford such an expensive appartment. I don't, because it's not expensive.

@Cashbee That helps too. Easy friends as well. Unless they're alcoholics...

@Belle-Sophie i moved in because they were already friends, not vice versa 😀 yessss

@Cashbee That's great :D yeah!

Hey @Cashbee seeing your username I was reminded of the hornet that got lodged in my anti-fly net on the window 2 days ago

Now I have a hole in my anti fly net

@Magisch how much money did it have on him

It was an actual hornet

they're a protected species here. It's a felony to kill one

11:16 AM

@Cashbee I am disappointed that your avatar is not a bee with cash

@Magisch I DO NOT want to live where you live

Parents had a hornet nest once. Someone from the local authority came out and sedated the hornets with smoke and then took the entire nest and all the hornets with them

Kill it with fire seemed more appropriate

they're not that agressive

just big and loud

My little brother had a very annoying friend when we were kids. Friend got a hornet stuck in his swimming shorts. It was not not aggressive.

I thought the whole thing was hilarious, though.

@Magisch i grew up in a chalet, we had 2 bee nests, 1 wasp nest and 1 hornet nest all the time

.. in the walls of the house

11:20 AM

At least it wasn't these:

user image

Cause these are aggressive and very territorial

o.O indeed they weren't xD

Oh, hornets are not what I thought they were...

It was a horse-fly

@Belle-Sophie horse flies are harmless :D

they dont have a stinger

they suck (literally)

so you can swat them with no risk. but only few people know that :D

They do bite

@Belle-Sophie just like any other midge. only that horse flys can't sneak up on you they are too loud

ok, if they bite it hurts more i give you that

11:27 AM

It's good that they are loud. Annoying creatures.

@AJ Oh shoot, I'm sorry. I did both actually.

also voting to delete doesn't hurt, it's just a waste of a delete vote

Well, it seems a bit quieter than yesterday, so I still have a few waiting in case :)

@Cashbee Are you saying we can wave to make them go without risking to be bitten?

@avazula yes

You made my day

11:37 AM

you can smack them, squash them, pulp them, throw them, swat them. They need time to bite you, it's not the same as with the stinger of a wasp

I don't know how it is with wasps but I'm a beekeeper and bees are actually quite long to drop their stinger too

Bees are also peak unaggressive

@Belle-Sophie I once tried to draw my own logo. huge failure

Of all the yellowish flying insects I found bees and bumblebees to be the most mellow by far

@avazula yes but theyre still very much faster than horse flies

11:38 AM

A bee is buzzing around you ? Walk a bit, chances are that it won't follow you. You're just likely to be around the hive and something threatening is going on for them

bees are awesome they didnt hurt nobody

@Cashbee These are the Honda of insects. Slow but terribly efficient.

@avazula ive nevr heard that of a honda before

@Cashbee Well, never with the intention of harming, at least. I get one stuck in my hair every year during the harvesting season. It got stuck in my ponytail and struggles to get away, so it gets mad and if I'm not quick enough to help it go, I'm stung :(

@avazula Awh

I really like bees although I have an acute distaste for flying insects

11:41 AM

Then I will not try to fly in front of you

Bees are amazing.

@Cashbee It actually more a private joke. There's this american show where they repair pretty old cars, and one day they had to mend a 1977 Honda Civic. This fireball was doing 4L/100km. That's nothing for a car this old!

@Cashbee Hahaha

@Magisch I'm actually a chicken because I'm nervous every time I have to open a hive

I actually grabbed into a beehive as a kid on accident

when i next move somewhere, i hope it is somewhere with a little balcony or something where i can set out a small dish of water & marbles for bees & other insects to come drink.

And did not get stung, although there was a massive buzz around me as I ran away

11:43 AM

@doppelgreener That's an amazing idea

I had to fix up a bee earlier this week

@Magisch Pfew, you were lucky! I'm sorry, it must've been scary.

Well I intruded on the bee territory they didn't intrude on me

@avazula it is! the marbles are to give them something to stand on to get at the water, even when the water level is a bit low (because there's marbles lower down too)

one does not simply grab a beehive

11:45 AM

@doppelgreener you can even set up a bee-hotel on your balcony. They are awesome and the nature around you would owe you for it

user image

@Cashbee @doppelgreener actually doesn't have a balcony

Unbeelievable

@avazula i know, but if

@Cashbee Maybe on the building roof? :)

@doppelgreener Oh! I'm totally going to do that in the garden!

11:47 AM

I wonder what local regulations on owning beehives are

@Magisch I considered it, but I don't think the neighbours would appreciate it

Can you actually keep a beehive without harvesting the honey?

Or are domestic bees used to the replacement thing?

@Magisch Yes. It's actually better for the bees if you don't or take very little.

You can also harvest some and let them enough for the cold season.

I'm not gonna harvest this year because there's not enough honey for winter, I'm gonna have to feed them already.

I'm pretty sure the farmer would let me use the meadow behind my apartment to set up a hive. I could look into this

Having my own beehive would be pretty rad

11:52 AM

It'd actually be interesting for him to have pollinator insects around

I have a balcony but it faces the river and no insect comes up here. And... I'm not sure my housemate, whose room is beside the balcony, would be OK with me setting up a bee hotel.

But one day in a different time and place I will have something like that! :D

@doppelgreener I'd love to as well, but I live in a condo. I have a shared garden at the front and a conservatory at the back. Don't think either one is suitable for it.

My parents have a bird feeder in their garden. It attracts woodpeckers.

So, goals (sometime in the next 10 years):
1. move somewhere with more greenery and buy a house with a garden
2. adopt a dog
3. have a water dish for bees (in the garden, not directly beside my house window)
4. have a bee hotel

4 may or may not work out based on the doggo and its capacity to get along with bees

@doppelgreener buy a dog or adopt?

I adopted a cat from a shelter in February. Brought so much joy and love in the house :)

hmm. adopting a dog is a better way to put it

12:01 PM

I need to convince my landlord to let me have a cat

my aim is to adopt a dog from a responsible breeder or a shelter.

She's okay with my parents' dog staying for the week, though

@doppelgreener Hahaha, okay. There was no judgment in what I said. I was just curious to know if you were considering the idea :)

i am :D

@Belle-Sophie Do you plan to stay in your apartment for a while?

12:02 PM

@doppelgreener Consider shelter. There's often lots of 1-2 year old purebreds in there.

100% judgement from me on buying a dog from a pet shop though. :P

@avazula Yes. Considering buying it actually. Once I paid off the car :)

@Belle-Sophie Well, opefully your car credit is over soon :)

Journeyman Geek

Or do what we did and accidentally adopt

@JourneymanGeek You, blonde terrier dog, adopted a dog?

12:04 PM

@avazula 3 years left :( Ah well, I still need to save up for all those fees anyway

Journeyman Geek

@avazula we plural :p

@avazula They're two dogs and adopted a third, obviously

now that makes sense!

how comes you've "accidentally" adopted?

@avazula they only "accidentally" killed the dogs parents, so they now have to call it "adopting"

I'd love to hear the story now :)

Journeyman Geek

12:09 PM

@avazula ex owner got a dog without asking her hubby. We temporarily helped her out. She left

Dog did not

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Q: How can users ask private questions anonymously on this site?

Often the topics of questions may be very private, how would a user ask a question anonymously considering their profile is linked to their other profiles on the Stack Exchange network?

discussion feature-request questions

@JourneymanGeek woof <3

Journeyman Geek

@Belle-Sophie humans are adopted at airports anyway.

(this is a hard story to tell IC :p)

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"?

I moved into a shared home with roommates. The landlord and her husband are two of the roommates. I've been having issues with storage space. Today she was cleaning up and she was about to throw out (or at least move) somethings I need for work. I caught them before it was too late and I asked he...

conversations roommates

@JourneymanGeek tbf if I got a dog like ash to sit I wouldn't be in a hurry to volunteer the dog back unless asked either

Introverted Meta Man.

12:26 PM

0

Q: List of Rules for Site

Am I missing something or is there no easily accessible list of rules for the site. It's frustrating as someone who is trying to help other people to have a well received answer be deleted and the person quote some accepted answer in the meta as a rule. I've even had cases where I looked first ...

@Tinkeringbell is the sandbox feed working?

@Cashbee It should be?

@Tinkeringbell i don't know, im just asking. i have no indication of it not working. (but i have none that says it works too..)

i only saw your 3 answers on meta ^^

@Cashbee I'll look it up tonight, kay? There should be a notification from SandMan for the answer that is currently being worked on...

@Tinkeringbell no hurry i was just curious

12:49 PM

@doppelgreener I actually have a big dog. No problem with the bees.

She knows what to expect from those little buzzing beings

@avazula yay :)

@IntrovertedMetaMan. Y'all might like to start using the faq special tag and keep an FAQ index, like the one on Meta.SE (which we liberally copied from to set up a similar one on RPG.SE)

@doppelgreener Yep. Time has come, IPS has become complicated enough to require one ;)

hm that is an interesting solution

i like it

:D

We use an [faq-proposal] tag for when people think a question should join the faq, but we have no formal process around handling that.

1:12 PM

@doppelgreener Oh nice :) Is there some sort of formal process for setting up a FAQ described somewhere? ;)

Not that I know of

Time to do messy stuff like ask your community to suggest what should be in an FAQ

and liberally steal from how meta.se does it

That will work ;)

Thanks!

clean up in aisle 5 please. All comments are nln

whoa has the styling of flags changed? it now says "flag" in red after flagging a comment. after refreshing, the flag is in a deep red. I like that you see your own flags now without hovering over the comments

1:31 PM

How to ask a girl whom I have started befriending with for a date?

How should I know whether she has a BF or not?

@Cashbee Seems to be a little bug, but yeah, the buttons should now always be visible

@gateprep hello @gateprep if you want to ask these questions on main, i recommend to first take the tour. If this is gonna be your first question, I also recommend posting the question to the sandbox first to get feedback on the question itself.

@Cashbee If you use userscripts, the second answer to that second question links to an userscript to disable it ;)

What is Sandbox?

6

Q: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

What is the Sandbox? This "Sandbox" is a place where InterpersonalSkills.SE users can get feedback on prospective questions they wish to post. This is useful because writing a clear and fully specified question on the first try can be difficult. There is a much better chance of your question bei...

discussion questions sandbox

1:36 PM

@Cashbee This policy of "you can't flag unless there's been 5 seconds elapsed" truly annoys me. Seems like I'm TFFITW

@avazula sometimes when i see acronyms i am like IDKGIWRKJSIAKKJGLKSNDKT

@avazula yeah its 2-3 seconds too long..

@Cashbee I finally realized what I first compared your name to

I think there's a payday loan store with that name

@doppelgreener Ahahah. I was refering to "The Fastest Gun In The West", which is used to described people who offer a pretty poor answer to be the first and then edit to make it better.

And thence I'm not TFGITW but TFFITW: the fastest flagger

@avazula If there's a whole thread that can go, you can use a custom flag to point that out ;) It will slow down the increase of your helpful flag count :P

1:38 PM

@Tinkeringbell nice!

@avazula thank you for the explanation XD

@Magisch lol. I use this name as my gamer name for close to 20 years. When I googled cashbee back then, no results. When i google cashbee now, there are many companies and stuff named like this. I think some korean train card company (like oyster card in london) was the first to annoy me

@avazula Just make sure to either flag the post, or the first of the comments in the thread that can go. If you accidentally raise such a flag on a comment that can stay, we'll have to decline it, there's no way to mark comment flags helpful without deleting the comment they're on ;)

@Magisch I want to sue them all

@doppelgreener You're welcome! I've been there too, and I forget too often that we're not totally familiar with the SO culture around :)

1:40 PM

My name is literally an adjective in german so I dont hold any claim to it

@doppelgreener I Didn't Know Great Inventions Were Really Kinda Just Slapped In A Kitchen Kite. Just Gave Little Kids Some New Dynamite Kite Toys.

what can i say....

Sometimes I can't even register somewhere because my username is already in use .. I mean.. who calls themself Cashbee.. srsly

@Magisch Ahahah. My pseudonym is actually ridiculous. "Ava" is an american name I find beautiful, and "Zula" comes from a song from Phosphorescent, "song for Zula".

@Mithrandir Perfect. First try

1:42 PM

(too many Ks)

@Mithrandir Every day I love you a little more

@avazula back when I was like 9 years old I started playing diablo II on my dad's pc and found an item that read "Magische Handschuhe des Bären"

@avazula :P

And got my inspiration from there

Mine is pretty boring, it's part of my real name... My husband's is pretty cool, though. his first name is Lee- and his pseudonym is el'endia pi starman :P

1:43 PM

@Magisch Like "the magic bear's handshoes" ?

Extroverted Main Man

2

Q: How to ask a friend to stop lying?

Context So I've been part of a very tighten group of friends for more than a year now and it feels like we're gonna be friend for a good while. We're all from 18 to 20 years old and its a mix of males and females (I'm a 20 y/o male). In that group there's a girl that tend to lie from time to tim...

friends conflict-aversion

cashbee is also derived from my first name.

@avazula "Magic gloves of the bear"

let the guessing games begin

@ElizB aha, that's who he is!

1:44 PM

@Magisch Shoot, I went for too literal.

The prefix / suffix order is inverted in the translation :P

@Cashbee Are you Cashier ?

@avazula nope

@Mithrandir Yeah haha I remember when I first saw it, I was so confused.

@Cashbee Are you Bee-man?

1:45 PM

@avazula close. jk no

I'm too "serious" for making up stuff like that

@Cashbee WHAT? You're not a superhero? :O

too realistic haha

There is this card in german localized hearthstone: "Panischer Kodo" which would be read out "punisher Kodo" but actually is "stampeding Kodo" in original

@Marcus i am wearin gHS tshirt as we speak

1:46 PM

@Cashbee Is your name typical from Switzerland?

hype

@avazula no there are variants in many languages

and it is not a .. hm... modern name

Journeyman Geek

@ElizB ah!

@Cashbee Can we ask for clues? :)

Oh! First try: Caspari?

there was once a chess player who had a similar lastname

@avazula 10 points for griffindor (Kaspar)

@Cashbee No way?

I want another riddle

Or you could guess mine

I actually already used it in this chat

1:51 PM

@avazula do you consider it a normal/modern name?

@Cashbee Yours?

no yours :D

Mine? It's actually very, very used around the world

I'm actually named after a famous religious person

is it a clearly female name or is it androgynous?

(not that my mother choose this name for this reason)

It is clearly female.

1:53 PM

Maria

damn maria is androgyn

@Cashbee Very close! I'm Marie :)

Journeyman Geek

The name or... ?

heh, Ash was an ashley. We thought it was a bit too... feminine, and called him Ash.

haha first try too :)

Maybe you can guess mine? should be somewhat easy

@ElizB haha

> Many people use me at school, As I am a useful tool, They use me so they can save time, However, sometimes, using me is a crime.

> What am I?

1:56 PM

A calculator?

yes

:D

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Jul '1819

The Awkward Silence

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