The Awkward Silence - 2018-12-31

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2:06 AM

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A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

Note: This is really a draft, meaning that there are some places that may feel unconnected, or the ideas haven't fully developed yet. Hope you still understand it. Meta discussion: What to do when a new version of a closed question indirectly invalidate existing answers? Background Here I ...

1 hour later…

Extroverted Main Man

3:28 AM

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Q: What outlets should I use to channel a quiet and underserved sense of rage I am feeling

Today I had an argument with my brother and ultimately I feel like for the first time in my life I have had a seasonal period where I have felt more lonely and anguished than I have felt positive and joyful. Obviously my own skew and actually stating the above phrase as an interpretation is giv...

6 hours later…

9:29 AM

"How do I tell my wife that a family member with an illness she has just died?" -> Is this really proper English? I tried to add "," to make the sentence clearer (like: "How do I tell my wife that a family member, with an illness she has, just died?") but OP rolled back. I'm thinking of putting back the old title (How do I tell my wife that a family member died of an illness she also has), but since someone else edited it out, it might not be proper English as well?

2 hours later…

11:06 AM

@Noon hey Noon, I'm not a native english speaker, but I would go as : How do I tell my wife that a family member has just died with an illness she has?

@Noon It's a rule I often use (in French aswell) when the sentence sound weird, try to reverse some stuff in it

or like with a illness they both have

@ThZ That could work (and thanks for the tip!) but, since OP already rolled back one of my edit, I think I'm gonna wait for other people opinion (or for someone else to edit :p )

12:00 PM

Wishing you all a happy new year full of happiness! Say goodbye to the old and embrace the new with full of hope, dream and ambition.

4

12:18 PM

user image

And lots of food too! :D

Happy New Year to those that are already ready for it, and to those that still have to wait a little too ;)

@Tinkeringbell Oh, what is this?

@Noon Dutch oliebollen (oil balls :P)

that looks like you're boiling a bot of rubber ducks O_O

@Mithrandir Well... if you mess up the recipe, that's what they'll taste like ;)

And yeah, happy new year to everyone! (even though I feel like an heretic wishing it when it's not the time in France yet)

12:20 PM

Happy December 31st, 2:20PM :P

Ahah, thank you Mith XD

12:48 PM

@Tinkeringbell Since you seem to be around, could you explain to me why my NAA flag was declined for this answer? I flagged it because it wasn't an interpersonal solution (IMO), I'm not sure if I left a comment, I'm fine if the rest of the community think it's a good, interpersonal, solution after review but I don't understand why a mod would decline it as "flags should not be used to indicate technical inaccuracies, or an altogether wrong answer

@Noon Ehh. I can see there wasn't a comment. Perhaps that's why comments are important too ;). But I think this does offer a solution (just ask), back up (writer did ride for sport), and addresses the 'without offending part' (don't ask too often, if you have to do so, get your own bottle).

> Just ask. Once or twice is not going to be a big deal, and unless your friend is sick or has some kind of germ fears, he is probably just going to say "sure, no problem." As far as the work to carry it, the weight is negligible in the overall scheme of bike+rider.

However, if it keeps happening over and over, then it is likely to become annoying for the both of you. There are many alternative hydration solutions and packing that you can explore. The easiest is just to stuff an extra water bottle in your jersey pocket. (Pro tip: If you are going to be cycling on a hot day, freeze a water …

I agree the large images are quite distracting from that answer, I'm not really fond of people using them (we had similar pictures on a 'take of your shoes when entering' question, and people started posting more and more pictures without any IPS solutions).

But, although I wasn't the mod to decline your flag, I think this one should stay.

Alright, thanks for the explanation :) (and yeah, I'm trying to comment more now ^^)

@Noon I see it's very easy to miss out the answer. It offers an IPS solution as well as a lifehack solution.

@AJ Do we have some meta post about removing lifehack solution from an answer who also have an interpersonal solution?

No I guess. Maybe look meta posts from beginning of this site.

12:57 PM

Well then, I think I'm going to write a meta post about it then ^^

I guess it can be allowed as long as the answer offers an IPS solution.

Also @AJ, @Tinkeringbell any idea if we are going to be back on HNQ? Catjia said it will last until at least next year which is tomorrow if I understand properly

I think SE is working on entirely reworking the HNQ, from the very concept up; I expect we'll stay off until that's finished.

@Noon Give it some time. Another 6-8 weeks in the new year is not unlikely. And I personally think we're not going to be back in HNQ anytime before they do rework on HNQ

Hum, alright...

1:03 PM

Do you want to be back on HNQ?

I personally would but I mostly think the community should have a say in this as I don't find the situation very fair.

I'd really like to look a bit past 'fair' ;) I personally wouldn't mind this for a while longer. We have a lot of stuff to sort out, and I actually get the idea that at this pace, it's easier to educate people and have them understand IPS, build a more solid userbase that can better handle a bigger influx of questions and answers.

Yay! more stuff to read during work hours :P

@ThZ If people only kept it at reading, I would be fine with it :P They often chime in too though, and not always in a way that's good for a subjective site

@Tinkeringbell Mhh, don't you think the vote system "reward" the answers that are the most suitable for the OP (as in, the question that is the most promoted by the site community)?

And if random new people don't try to answer and get involved, how can the site grow in size and in quality? :D

1:15 PM

@Tinkeringbell I see your point and I will be fine about staying out of HNQ if the community decide that it's the best. However, I really dislike the idea of not having a choice :/ (I mean, I would even be mostly fine if it was just you three active mod that take the decision, but having it completely taken by someone outside of IPS...)

I'd love it if that were true... Yet most often, once a question hit HNQ, it was the answers with a popular opinion (not the ones that were well-written, explained and backed up) that were most upvoted.

I've struggled with that effect quite a few times on my own questions. Answers from people that a.) don't understand the subtleties of Dutch culture, b.) don't explain why what they're suggesting would be a good course or c.) are shouting 'you're wrong' in a mean way, calling you names... they can rise to the top, while answers that are written from a correct cultural perspective, with unde…

@Noon It ... wasn't really though. I can't remember where I read it, but someone did look at IPS Meta, and did see the discussion we already had there, requesting being out of HNQ (interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/1314/1599). What they perhaps didn't realize is that this was an old discussion that current community members never saw, so it came as a surprise to a lot of people.

@Tinkeringbell That's true but I'm still wondering how the community think about that now that we have effectively been out of HNQ for a while

This is true. But HNQ gave us such a flood of those 'new answerers' it was almost impossible to curate. On a 'good' day, I'd come home from work, eat, and spend the evening going through 'only' 40 answers posted that day, commenting, flagging, explaining... That's a lot.
A lot of answers escaped the eyes of the few community members we have that can do that, so having a bit of time to get a few more noses in the same direction and perhaps educating a few new users (even if that's only 2 or 3 a month that can make a huge difference in how well new content is moderated on HNQ levels)... I fee…

@Noon Wait a bit, perhaps a few weeks into the new year would be a good time to post a question, requesting the numbers Catija mentioned and also general opinions on being out of HNQ ;)

@Tinkeringbell I understand your point! Still, it can give different perspective and the OP can read everything and forge himself an opinion. I personnally thinks, even an unaccepted answer, can be very helpfull and at the end the purpose is indeed to help people. It's hard to expect this site to follow different "rules" (aka the phenomenon you described) that the ones we have irl

@Tinkeringbell I will wait 5~6 weeks then :P

1:27 PM

@ThZ Personally... I felt a few times these shouldn't really be 'different rules' from any other subjective SE site (mainly thinking e.g. Workplace or Parenting). We've built those rules up from this blog post... and I'm honestly a bit amazed at how little e.g. back-up, sharing experience over opinions etc. seems to be done at other subjective sites.

Also... We're not really here to 'have OP form themselves an opinion'. That's more a forum style thing, we're here to answer their question. That's the SE thing.

@Tinkeringbell Moderation seem to be very time costly. Still new content induce more people involved in the site. Following the rules, or helping improving them! Idk, I'm pretty optimist on that matter. Maybe because i'm not the one moderating stuff :X

@Tinkeringbell +1 for that

@ThZ Moderation is pretty time-intensive on a site like this. Sure, new content will mean new people. But I still see people with 1 or 101 rep asking questions here, and writing answers. So it's not like we're unfindable for the rest of the network ;)

And you're of course always welcome to help :)

I understand your point, thanks for the article ^^ It's just that, even if this site provide the best answer possible to a particular question, the OP will see it
through his own vision. He can take a part or the whole answer. As the result will be (IMO) partly altered by the OP himself, and the answer isn't always definitive, why not consider the most important is to give clues for understanding and help?

So how would you present those clues? ;) How would you help someone understand?

Preferably, I see those in the form a well backed up answer...

1:37 PM

@Tinkeringbell Well I may be one of the people you describe (I got 166 rep lol) still, I'm trying my best to help (I a way I think is good) and trying my best to respect the site rules aswell. And I think a lot of people here do the same

If someone tell me that 'It's polite to bow when meeting a new boss' for example, I'd like to see their answer mention a country where bowing is common. Otherwise, I might make a grievous mistake greeting my new Dutch boss.

If I ask about 'how to do thing X' and you think X is a stupid thing to do, I'd love to understand what makes you warn me not to do it (and preferably you don't call my idea stupid in the process of doing so)

@Tinkeringbell Well to know that bow to someone has different meanings (even if it's a bit trivial) is allready a clue to me. I mean, If the OP as a question about something so particular, he can also be interested in the ways of other country and have a different vision. It can be dangerous, for some action, but also rewarding as he could express himself or his problem (to bow or not to bow) in a different way

there are good things to find in other cultures, including yourself. I have met more than a few friends who don't recognize themselves in my country culture and use others! Like, "Oh the japanese do that things differently, and that means X, that's interesting. Maybe I can transform it to do Y in my situation"

@Tinkeringbell I can't argue with that. Answer need respect and context ^^

@Tinkeringbell can't answer it now :X I'd need some time to think about it

@ThZ I was thinking a really broad question like 'how to politely greet a new boss' :P

We don't generally accept those on IPS, but I hope you can now see where I was going with the bowing part ;)

@ThZ That's okay :)

Take your time. Then I'm going to work on my crochet again ;)

@Tinkeringbell Like, Hey, I know I was very late this morning, but why are you here anyway? Tonight is the new year right!! (My boss if just 2 meters from me) Would you advise this one?? :P

Hahaha perhaps ;) If you're in a culture where such informality is allowed and appreciated ;)

1:52 PM

@Tinkeringbell Yea maybe I'll do that. New year, new job right? ;)

2:45 PM

hey y'all :)

@ElizB Hello :)

hi @Noon how are you doing?

@ElizB Unfortunately working :P (I have 1h45 left) but otherwise, I'm fine. And you, how was your Christmas?

my christmas was enjoyable but hectic.

Haha, celebration time tend to be like that in my experience :p

2:50 PM

had a small family christmas in town, with my mom and siblings, then went to Rochester NY (about 3 hours drive away) to visit my mom's grandparents, stayed for two days and nights, came back Saturday, went to church sunday, chilling and playing stardew valley most of the time :)

my mom and siblings are staying there until new years, but I wanted to spend new years with my hubby- it's our first new year's married :D

Chilling sound nice, I didn't get enough of that during my holidays :P And congrats for your first new year's married!

@ElizB Hello!!

@Noon thanks :)

@ThZ Hello :)

@Noon Oh I feel you. I can't wait my boss says : "Ok lets goo, its finished you can go home early!"

as matter of fact, he could say it at any moment. like right now! .. I'm waiting. Any time soon?

@ThZ Well, you're lucky, you have hope to finish sooner. Me, my boss isn't here and I'm just watching the clock to see how soon I can go (1h30minutes left now)

2:59 PM

@Noon Let's see who finish first :P

A race to champaign! Not a very epic one, though

@ThZ Haha, I hope for you that you will be the one. It's not funny to have to stay at work when you can only think of lefting

@Noon I got stuff to do, but I must admit I can't wait to go out! Holidays makes me lazy :X I feel like I need days off every weeks from now on...

i am really lazy right now... I havent even got my cochlear implants, or my glasses on. I'm in my pajamas and bathrobe...

@ThZ Ahah, that would be nice :p

@ElizB Don't you miss your glasses?

@Noon it's kinda funny- only my right eye is nearsighted, and only by -2.5, so not horrible. it just affects my depth perception, and I can still see things pretty clearly

3:11 PM

@ElizB Oh, that must be weird to have to eyes that don't see the same way. In winter, one of my ears tend to get clogged and I always feel like something is wrong as long as it last (~ one month)

Introverted Meta Man.

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Q: Should we remove lifehack solution from answer that also give interpersonal solution?

I'm thinking about this answer who do have a (small) interpersonal solution and a big lifehack part with very distractive pictures. After reading this answer for the first time, what I remembered from it was that OP should buy something to carry is how water. And I absolutely did not remember th...

discussion answers editing

@ElizB does -2.5 mean you can see what's behind you? Like you have negative vision on your back?

@ThZ the correction lenses's code is "-2.5" i don't know all of how the code works

the funny thing is that my left eye doesn't need corrective lenses, only my right does...

so when people try on my glasses they're confused lol

@ElizB mmh it was supposed to be a joke xD

@ThZ ah. I'm not 100% awake so I take things literally :P

3:21 PM

@ElizB no it sucked, i'm ashamed.

ahahah

@ThZ lol sorry :P

@ElizB no worries, i'm fully responsable of my lame jokes

amazing jokes*, both applies :P

hehehe :)

@ThZ amazingly lame jokes? :P

@Noon ahah, or lamly amazing jokes? We reach the current barrier of my english abilities

3:27 PM

Damn it's been a week since anything was starred in here. Where's the wit, guys? :p

on vacation, it seems :P

@scohe001 Do you want to start starring thing? We can then all have those amazing glasses from IPS! \o/

Haha well I hope it doesn't stay there too long!

@Noon amazing glasses?

@scohe001 It's the new year, if you post a chat message who is then starred, you win a "hat" (glasses with "2019" written on top of it)

Ohhh I didn't realize that was how it worked

No wonder @AJ posted and pinned that message :p

3:31 PM

@scohe001 Yep, AJ is cheating! :p

@scohe001 dam you got some amazing wizard hat, i'm so jealous. please dont turn me into a frog though

@ThZ I'll toadally try not to, but I can't promise I won't froget ;)

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Why not? You'd be a cute frog.

I'm french, please don't make it worse by turning me to a real frog :[

2

@Mithrandir that's sweet :D I'd be colorful, but poisonous.

Don't worry, I don't think anyone would try to eat you. Except maybe @JourneymanGeek. Or @JAD's snake.

3:44 PM

If they eat me I'd make my best to give them diarrhea

@ThZ This wasn't something I wanted to picture in my mind XD

Do snakes even get diarrhea?

@Noon I'm glad the picture of someone eating me is unbearable for you ;)

Ooh @Noon you were right, I got some spiffy glasses

Don't the hats end in a couple hours anyways tho?

@ThZ Ahah, that's a nice way to interpret things :p

@scohe001 I don't know, it's my first winter bash (and congrats for your glasses, even if I might have something to do with this :p )

3:49 PM

@Mithrandir I think they do. but as there are no snake toilets, it must be nasty :X

@ThZ Back up, please! (please don't, not with a picture XD )

@Noon Well allright. I've been told that, in IPS, it's better if you have a backed up answer

@Noon the first video I upload here (idk if it's possible) couldn't be a video about a snake having diarrhea in a pool. I just can't stand with that

@ThZ OMG, did you actually find a video of that!? XD

@Noon I just can't go further, discuss with my lawyer for further informations

ahah yea I did, but I didnt dare watch it, idk maybe it will proc some nasty firewall rules : "this IT employee is watching some snake poo video. what should we do about him?" after all i'm still in probation

@ThZ Ahah, yeah, it's probably better to not go forward with this discussion XD

@ThZ I'm still on probation too, I wouldn't have click your link if you had posted it (but I might have watch it on my phone :p )

3:59 PM

@Noon oh, little rebel aint ya :P

@ThZ If this makes you feel I'm rebellious, wait until you further know me! :p

@Noon ahah I bet you are!

time to go, boss here or not!! I wish you all an happy new year :) see you next year :P

See you next year to you too!

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