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3:43 AM
0
Q: How can I tactfully avoid telling my loving brother my home address?

Amanda d'HalluinI'm chummy and cozy with my brother, but he has very loose lips and can't keep secrets - peradventure because he has genetic disorders? Of course my door is always open to him! Rather, the pickle is with my parents. If I tell him my address, he'll let it slip to my parents. As many members of ...

 
 
2 hours later…
5:38 AM
Morning everyone!
 
A J
Morning!
 
Everyone!
 
A J
Thanks for completing my sentence. :P
 
you two make a great team
 
A J
lol
 
A J
6:27 AM
6 messages moved to Trashcan
 
@AJ huh, funny, we don't use the same room for trash
was it sensitive info?
 
A J
@avazula Not really, but this one I always choose for moving messages. This is a mod room.
 
JAD
o/
 
6:44 AM
@AJ Yeah, I see :)
 
7:03 AM
@avazula IOW, just showing off
 
A J
:P
 
TIL IOW
 
Morning :)
Back to work today, urf.
 
A J
Afternoon!
 
 
2 hours later…
8:53 AM
How are you people today? Everything seems so quiet this morning...
 
I'm quite busy chatting in the Tavern and trying to squeeze in some work. :P
Other than that, I had a very busy Friday/Saturday and a very lazy Sunday, so that's good ;)
It's a bit hot here, but nothing unbearable ;)
And you?
 
I have a lot of IPS questions to ask for this week :p I also can't wait for the lazy weekend I will have at the end of this week, it's been too long since my last lazy, stay at home, weekend and my home seriously need some cleaning from me (which I only do when I have a "stay at home" weekend)
 
Lazy weekends are the best! I have postponed cleaning my room until the summer holidays (I do dust/vacuum/put stuff away from time to time in the mean time, but the big clean will be done when my parents aren't home :P)
Just so I can take multiple days ;)
As for questions... I don't think I have any to ask soon, things are either too horrible to be solved using IPS or going great and not needing any questions ;)
 
Well, I don't expect other people to ask as many questions as I do. I know I tend to have an awful lot of them ^^
 
Don't worry about it :)
 
9:08 AM
Also, I'm planning to buy myself a haircut this weekend. I wish I would have been able to do it this weekend, but my favorite hairdresser closed and I wasn't aware of that, so I needed to find a new one and I couldn't find a decent one in my old town (at was at my parent's)
 
Oof. I haven't had a haircut for a year now, but I remember switching stylists was never fun. The one you had would know exactly what to do and no matter how well you thought you'd explained it to the new one, they'd always do it differently and it would take some getting used too
 
Yeah, plus the fact that I felt safe with this hairdresser which I didn't with a lot of hairdressers I had before (partially why I hated going their so much). My hair is very sensitive and I had a hard time finding someone who wouldn't hurt my hair as much as other hairdressers would
 
hurt? As in, when brushing/handling it, the pulling hurts your head? Or does the actual cutting hurts?
 
9:25 AM
@Tinkeringbell Brushing hurts, the shampooing phase can also hurt too and the thinning the hair too if it's done wrong
 
:/ That's no fun. I usually have to tell the hairdresser I can stand a bit more force when they're brushing (I can have horrible tangles sometimes, with this length).
 
I had very horrible tangles when I was younger, especially at the back of my head. Thankfully, I'm going for a very short haircut this time, so tangles will be less of an issue
 
I have a special tangle brush right now, I think it mainly helps me to not pull loose a lot of hair when brushing ;)
 
I had to wait some years before finding a brush that was actually fitting me and my hair needs. I hated brush before but now, every time mine break, I'm very sad (thankfully, it's easy to find another that suite me since I now know what I'm looking for)
 
Yeah, once you know what you're looking for it's certainly easier to find stuff :)
 
10:31 AM
0
Q: Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety

ÆlisLast weekend, I was at my parent's home and my aunt, uncle and a family friend were also invited. I have some anxiety issue which means that, when there is too many people, or just people that I'm not used living with, I can get very anxious. Usually people don't notice (because I hide it), howe...

 
11:22 AM
27 messages moved to Trash
 
Hi there. I've edited your question (including the title) so that it sticks to this stack's policy ("Should I" question are off-topic here). If you don't agree, please feel free to rollback the edit, or edit it by yourself ;) — OldPadawan 43 secs ago
#22170 OldPadawan (16041 rep) | Q: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 2) | posted 14 minutes ago by lawful_neutral (111 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by OldPadawan (16041 rep) | Toxicity 0.25046638 | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic(@Noon)"]
 
@IPSCommentBot fp
 
Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp). Currently marked 0tps/1fps
 
2
Q: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans?

lawful_neutralOften, when I bring out trash, I see homeless people (maybe not all of them are homeless, I'm not sure) searching for plastic bottles and other things in trash cans. Usually I greet neighbors and other people I encounter around my house, but I'm not sure if I should talk to people who are in a si...

 
@ExtrovertedMainMan Meh. The edit there didn't really make anything clearer...
 
11:58 AM
I'm... almost tempted to give the question a chance in its current form, but I also feel it might be primarily opinion based... :/
 
I'm also interested in the answer to this
 
Yes, at the same time I'm afraid there's going to be a flood of personal opinions and no research...
It can be a good question or a really bad one, based on how people answer it :/
Maybe I'll write a meta post later today...
rpg.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/8864/… < I remember dhein linking to this one here before, but perhaps such an approach might be formalized for questions just like this one, on IPS? What does the informal brainstorm in chat think about that?
 
12:14 PM
"If you think about it like that, it isn't lying" -> Sorry but this isn't an answer... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/22171/21067
@Tinkeringbell Maybe we could turn it into something like "How to avoid making this person uncomfortable?"
 
@Ælis Thing is, it's about multiple persons. And I'm not so sure no reaction = uncomfortable. It might mean annoyed, or surprised, as well...
If anything, I actually think I'd rather leave this one as is, and see the kinds of answers it gets, then treat it like RPG.SE might, and close as POB if almost every answer falls short of the good subjective guidelines.
But that kinda needs a meta to decide if such an approach is fair, if the site in general wants to try this, and about how we're going to deal with the downsides... and I will write one tonight, but not now ;)
 
For now, I also think we should give it a chance. Also, having bad answers sometimes help editing the question to remove the part that might confuse people
 
@Ælis The way I understood your question is probably similar to astralbee so it does look like a decent answer (except for lack of back up) to me...
 
A J
Evening!
 
I also feel that your question is more an intrapersonal issue. On the one hand you feel anxious when there's a couple guest over, on the other hand you say that 7 isn't lots of people. Clearly you perceive one of those as a lie to yourself but believe others wont accept that. Is this reasoning correct?
 
12:26 PM
@Imus Yeah, but saying to someone "if you think about it like that, it's not lying and thus, you shouldn't be uncomfortable saying it" doesn't really work...
 
That depends, for some people it's really only a matter of perception. Once you look at it differently the problem really does go away
 
@Imus To me "seven people" is a lot. But to regular people, "seven" is usually far from being "a lot"
 
I know plenty of "regular" people that consider 7 "a lot" in a visit my house kinda setting
 
@Imus Yeah well, I still want to tell her tactfully that "it's because you are here"
So the answer doesn't actually answer my question
 
@Ælis Is it because of her? Or because of all the seven people? :)
 
12:30 PM
@Tinkeringbell I'm fine with my parents and sister being here. I'm less fine with her and the two other guest being her
 
How much risk of a 'sous entendu' would just saying that it's because of all the people together, the entire group size, have? Do you think she'd still take that personally?
 
(I don't like when there is guests because I can't act as "regular me" which makes me anxious)
 
What makes you think you can't act as your usual self?
 
@Imus Because if I don't, I'm being schooled for "being rude"
 
0
Q: Different budgets within roommate group

tryinI'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the primary reason for my friends too. However, we've been discussing what kind of furniture to get,...

 
12:33 PM
Let's for the sake of this discussion (which I'll have to put on hold soon because colleagues asking something) assume I don't know anything about you and saw this question. I'd think you're just the usual introvert who can't handle more than 4 people at once in an everyday setting without it starting to feel crouded. Why can't you tell your own family that is the case?
 
@Tinkeringbell I don't know but it's really possible :/
 
And if that IS the case and you don't really mind telling that to your family, what exactly makes you feel so much more anxious around this particular aunt, other than your own (possibly wrong) perception of her?
Quick note: I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say about these questions. If I'm wrong or prying too much feel free to stop me. I wont take offence in any way
Also: I really have to go for about 15~30 minutes, will read up when I'm back
 
A J
Time for a short break. We will be back soon. Do not change the channel room. :P
 
@Imus She is very sensitive and has high expectation in how people should behave and meeting those expectations is very hard and exhausting for me. When I'm around her, I feel like I have to act perfect and this gives me a lot of anxiety and tiredness
 
12:51 PM
@Ælis You now added the part about talking with family to the question, but it might just make things worse... Would talking to your family come with the same 'problems' as directly talking to your aunt? If not, I really think you should pick one, to keep the problems and question clear. (I'm kinda sorry for asking now, on second thought it has not much to do with your current question :( )
 
@Tinkeringbell Talking with my dad wouldn't be an issue. It might be a little bit more stressful for me if I have to talk to my mom or sisters, but it still won't be too much
 
@Ælis Yeah, so putting that in the question wasn't really a good idea ;)
You've basically answered your own question (and I wrote a hidden answer in comments :/)
 
@Tinkeringbell It's rollbacked now ^^
@Tinkeringbell Also, I didn't had back up so it wasn't an answer :p
 
@Ælis I might have a little, but I'd have to phrase it very carefully because it's not exactly a parallel situation...
It's too hot to write that down right now ;)
 
@Tinkeringbell I'll be glad to read your answer anytime you write it :)
 
12:56 PM
I also might've read a book this weekend where bits and pieces might help with this question, but that book is at home (and focuses on workplace interaction, so not sure how much it'll be of help outside those situations). But it was there that I learned about sous entendu's
 

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