« first day (475 days earlier)   

2:42 AM
@ElizB as a person from the country its from - yay?
 
 
2 hours later…
4:31 AM
Feeling the effect of HNQ
 
4:54 AM
0
Q: Dealing with people ignoring me, or talking over the top of me

BenI have a group of friends, and we have been together for a while now where we meet once or twice a week, to play games together - D&D, board games, etc. It's a social event. However, especially lately I've noticed that one person has started to lean in a certain direction when it comes to conver...

 
5:42 AM
@scohe001 (and maybe @Mithrandir too?) Is there a way to put regex on the comment bot to avoid reporting something as chatty if the regex also contains a question "?" or a link to a meta-post/the help center? I think it would avoid quite a few numbers of false-positive (but we shouldn't apply that if the comment have "Hight toxicity")
 
6:35 AM
@Noon there is, if I can remember it
 
6:53 AM
0
Q: Should we delete answer to close question?

NoonWe often got the case of someone asking an off-topic question, getting one or more answers, in some case the OP accepts one of the answers and then, the question is finally close. This leads me to wonder if answers to an off-topic question should be deleted?

 
7:14 AM
11 messages moved to Trash
@Noon Have you ever been in The Closet? There you could play a bit with triggering regexes. If you wanna give it a try please let me know and I'll show you how to do it :)
 
@Noon I wouldn't recommend excluding comments with help center links from being reported. I've seen comments like "This is a 'what should I do' question that is off-topic per [help], but I think you should..."
 
 
1 hour later…
8:18 AM
Could someone here tell the answerer to back-it-up for the last paragraph? Since it's my question, I feel it's a bit rude to tell them that myself :/
Hey there @Tas :)
 
Tas
Hey, thanks for your edit on my answer! I knew there was a better word for it, it was just escaping me at the time!
 
No problem ^^ Your answer seems to be doing quite well by the way :)
 
14 messages moved to Trash
 
8:50 AM
@Tas hello tas, and welcome to your own chatroom (The Awkward Silence)
 
 
1 hour later…
9:59 AM
graoooooowl
I'm hungry
 
It's lunchtime over here (12:00 :P)
 
@Tinkeringbell For us too, I'm gonna head over soon
But my bosses have the habit of showing up for feedback at 11:50 and 17:50
I never leave the office on time haha
 
hahah
 
Ugh... that's not fair! :P
 
@Tinkeringbell yeah... well, I don't have vacation for Christmas so, 's not the most unfair thing I can think of rn :p
 
10:04 AM
@avazula Wow, people won't don't give Christmas holiday when they don't really need you are not nice!
 
The vacation I took in September were already unpaid, and now if I want to have 3 days off on Christmas they're telling me I should go for unpaid vacation as well, whereas I have paid vacation days I could take
 
@Noon yeah, well... I won't ramble 'cause I'm at the office, but ... Things aren't great these days, they're even pretty much terrible
 
@avazula do they at least encash paid vacation days?
I totally did that at job -1
 
@avazula :/
 
10:06 AM
@JourneymanGeek what do you mean?
 
@avazula do they pay you for days of paid leave you don't take?
 
@JourneymanGeek ahah. No. If you don't take all your paid vacation days they get lost, unless you put them on a "time-saving account" that'd help you to go on retirement earlier (yeesh... I'm 22 guys ...)
 
Ya, that's unfair
@avazula or you may switch jobs
 
@avazula But that's only for RTT, right?
 
@JourneymanGeek tbh I get like half a dozen offers per week, 2 of them are abroad. Yet I stay here cause I feel like it'd be betrayal to leave
 
10:09 AM
@avazula I learnt a very hard lesson ...
My no 1 loyalty is to my wallet.
Passion dosen't pay the bills. Loyalty dosen't either
at the end of the day, you gotta look out for number 1 ;)
 
@Noon Ehh ... you think? I know for sure that paid vacation you don't take are lost
 
@avazula I get that feeling :/ I have tried to make a rule for that (for myself): "Mental health is more important than loyalty, take care of yourself"
 
@JourneymanGeek That's actually very valuable advice
 
@avazula Well, I remember learning that they were lost put paid (but maybe I misremember, you might want to check that out)
 
@Noon That's the kind of things I'd say to my friends yet wouldn't apply for myself haha. But you're right.
 
10:13 AM
(I mean, if you have a job where passion is an asset, and your loyalty is actually rewarded score!)
But most places don't care about the individual
 
@JourneymanGeek haha, true. I was supposed to start a new mission this week and they told me yesterday I wouldn't start until another month, 'cause of All Saints' vacation (which I don't have, btw)
 
@avazula this dosen't sound like a good place
 
@avazula Yeah, I know it's hard to apply to yourself, that's why I have written "tried" because I know that I will have a hard time respecting that rule ^^
 
I've quit a job cause it was... not good for me
 
So they're giving me boring and pretty absurd stuff to do, and when I'm free because I'm waiting for customer answers and I do MOOCs to learn new useful stuff and not waste my time, I'm frowned upon
 
10:16 AM
I'd totally quit my current job once my first year is over and I don't have my lovely termination handcuffs any more, if I found something better
 
@JourneymanGeek That's definitively the right but hard thing to do. Congratulation for having the strength to do it!
 
@Noon Oh, then I went and went all lawyer on them
"Y'all need to pay me for my unused vacation time - while probationary employees don't get them, singapore government regulations state that a probation can't last more than 3 months"
 
@JourneymanGeek That must have been stressful!
 
@Noon oh that's after I quit
So no
I had nothing to lose ;)
 
Well, I'm pretty sure it would have been stressful for me anyway :P
(My brain have sometime an hard time understanding the concept of "nothing to lose" :P )
 
10:19 AM
(Basically my manager had asked for me to be made permanant and given a small increment. My director... basically rubbished my evaluation, questioned the stuff I was undoubtedly good at, and felt that I somehow needed an extra month, after a month of them sitting on their asses of probation)
Also felt that wearing short sleeves to work was unprofressional
@Noon I'd already quit
the decision was made
 
@JourneymanGeek yuck o_o that attitude ...
 
I'm not sure what the concequences were
The hard decision is quitting.
(or deciding you're desperate enough to put up with this)
 
@JourneymanGeek I know but, in the same situation, I pretty sure I would have still been anxious (over nothing but yet). Anyway, the fact that it didn't stress you is good for you :)
 
@Noon It was stressful right till I quit
Then... it was fun
 
@Noon me too
 
10:22 AM
"Hey guys! I have LOTS of documentation! Who do I hand it to?"
 
Hehe :P
 
@JourneymanGeek hahha :)
 
10:40 AM
@JourneymanGeek lol
I usually show up in tshirt + jeans
 
11:01 AM
@avazula "Oh, here's one page of wierd hardware issues here, and how to solve them"
It wasn't even malicious compliance
it was them not ready for someone to quit and hand over like everything
 
11:14 AM
0
Q: How not to get dismissed in a negotiations

aMJayMy example will be salary negotations specific but I'd like to know how not to let other person dismiss you easly from negotiations. In a few days I'm planning to renogtiate my salary with boss of my company. He is charismatic and outspoken person, and I know from other people he is not very wil...

 
 
1 hour later…
12:15 PM
@Mithrandir @scohe001 does "(?i)" work with the comment bot? This would allow us to have all regex case insensitive
 
@Noon they are cas insensitive already
 
Well, no need than, thank you :)
 
12:36 PM
May I ask you something @Noon?
 
@avazula Yeah, go ahead :)
 
@Noon :) how did you come to suspect you were on the spectrum?
(I always felt weird & different in my life & yesterday when JAD said there's plenty of ways to be autistic the topic got my interest so I looked it up further, took some quizzes & stuff)
 
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 2tps/0fps
 
A J
14 messages moved to Trash
good evening@
 
12:39 PM
@AJ o/
 
@avazula Long response incoming, I will need to wait :p
 
@Noon haha, ok :p
 
A J
wassup?
@JourneymanGeek I wear t-shirts and jeans at work. :P
 
@avazula I stumble across an article of someone who was on the spectrum (a woman who had been diagnosed late in her life) and it really talked to me. There were differences but I was able to relate a lot. After that, I read a lot about Asperger women who were diagnosed late, took a lot of quizzes (who didn't help me because I didn't know how to respond to some of the questions and because the quizzes weren't concluding and because of other stuff). (stay tune for the rest of this message)
@avazula Then I decided that I was paranoïd and that since I wasn't checking all the boxes, I was complaining about nothing will other people had it worse than me. So, I decided to focus on fixing my anxiety and that my tiredness would magically disappear if I did so. (again, more is to come)
@avazula But then things didn't get better but worse and I feel that, if I wasn't able to fix it, my life would become worse and worse until I would do a very strong burnout and "crash". So, since my mother was thinking that I might be on the spectrum and since I was finally unemployed (which mean that I wasn't that tired anymore and so I was able to think more clearly and do things that would have been too tiring otherwise) I decided to check it out with someone who specialized in the field
@avazula And if you need to read something, read this: femmesautistesfrancophones.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/…
Also, the person who diagnosed me said that the key part was the tiredness
(Sorry for the wall of text, it's over now :P )
 
12:59 PM
@Noon No, please don't, that's very interesting :)
@Noon Do you recognize yourself in this?
 
@avazula Definitively in all the part about "Apparence / Habitudes personnelles", much less in the rest of it
(probably because the rest is less about "facts" and more about "how normal you feel you are" which is harder to establish
 
@Noon I get that.
Thank you very much for that. I learnt a lot
And I think I'm gonna get a diagnosis because it's crazy how many ropes that infography strikes
 
@avazula Your welcome, I was happy to share that :)
 
@Noon :)
I really wish I'd knew you IRL
 
@avazula Maybe someday ^^
 
1:04 PM
Like a lot of people in here actually :)
@Noon Haha, sorry, that's a way to say I like you (not romantically)
 
@avazula Be careful to choose someone who actually knows about the topic. Otherwise, you will probably be more informed about it that the person you are talking to
@avazula I like you very much to :)
 
@Noon I'll try finding someone specialized in my city
 
@avazula If you don't know where to find them, you can start by look autism association in your city. If you (or someone, it was my mom for me) give them a call, they would likely be able to point you in the right direction
 
@Noon I think I know exaclty where to ask... I did a lot of volunteering for associations helping people with TSA to get into the active life xD
 
@avazula Also, you might be interested in reading this blog
@avazula Well, that's perfect then :p
 
1:13 PM
@Noon I'll have a look :)
I think you were lucky that your Mom suspected it. It might have eased the diagnosis IMO
 
@avazula What it really ease is me, taking seriously the fact that I might be on the spectrum. If it wasn't for her, I'm pretty sure I would still not have been diagnosed. So yeah, I got lucky :)
 
I get that :)
 
@Noon you can add ...[^?]*$ to the end of your regex to ensure it only matches if there are no question marks. But I don't think it'd be a good idea to prevent any of the regex from matching questions. We would definitely want to catch "Have you tried...?" or "Maybe you could....?" comments.
 
1:34 PM
There. Like nothing ever happened! :D
 
All my mistakes, disappearing forever
If only real life was this easy
Thanks for the help Tink!
 
@Tinkeringbell nah, to do that smoothly, you need to delete the messages, move them to the private trashcan, edit your moving message and include an intentional typo, purge the history, and then edit it to fix the typo, making sure that this message is unrelated to whatever you wanted to purge the history of
 
@scohe001 I was thinking to only do this for comment having "good answer" in them. I was also thinking of testing the regex for a week/month before replacing anything
 
@Mithrandir Ouch. You made my head hurt. :P
 
(fun fact: I have actually done that)
 
1:37 PM
purge the history??
what would Napoleon say..
 
presses, nobody remembers anything
 
@Cashbee did you forget who Tink is?
 
Meant for stuff like PII, of course.
 
@El'endiaStarman PII and fun. All fun shall be purged too! (While we're having fun purging the fun, of course!)
 
1:49 PM
Did I hear GDPR relevant discussions?
 
@user11153 hey, thanks for weighing in. I just want to say that your upbringing and your struggles as a kid were not your fault regardless of your diagnosis and I'm sorry that you had to endure that. Being "strange" as a kid is an incredibly frustrating thing. Also, I don't think you're disagreeing (with me) since in your case the diagnosis was helpful and that was the important part. — Benjamin Gruenbaum 1 min ago
#19357 Benjamin Gruenbaum | A: How do you tell a Facebook friend that they might be on the autism spectrum? (score: 52) | posted 29 hours ago by JAD (6275 rep) | Toxicity 0.3043404 | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 
@Magisch Nah... not really ;)
 
begrudgingly slinks back into the shadows
 
lol
 
Nooo, come back. If that's what it takes to have people chatting in here, we can talk about GDPR :P
How's life as a Chief DPO?
 
1:56 PM
meh
 
0
Q: I can't find my recently deleted answer

MawgBefore the weekend I posted an answer which was reasonably well received, with a bunch of upvotes. It was deleted because, although it told an of interesting and relevant experience, it did not actually answer the question. I have absolutely no problem with my answer being deleted. However, t...

 
I found Mawg's recently deleted answer!
 
@Magisch What dark magic did you use?
 
2:11 PM
Searched for "Mawg" in The Closet where the IPS Comment Bot keeps records of all made comments. Then looked for the inevitable mod comment announcing the deletion. Since I can view deleted posts, I was able to verify that it was the correct one
you can view deleted posts too
 
@Magisch That's clever! Thanks for the tip! :)
 
*2k, not 3k
 
ah shoot
 
@Magisch Achoo!
 
@Tinkeringbell hands a paper towel
 
2:20 PM
A towel? It's not that bad XD. A tissue will do.
At least the sore throat stage is gone now. And my nose is runny, not stuffy, that's a relief too
 
Something I frequently amuse myself with is to respond to someone's sneeze with "bless you!" spoken in the same way the sneeze sounded.
 
@El'endiaStarman Heh. You'd have the time of your life. I can't sneeze quietly in a ladylike manner. My sneezes never manage to be cute
 
It took me a fair while to figure out that my coworker was sneezing because the way he did it sounded more like a soft, distant honk.
 
2:29 PM
@El'endiaStarman coworker of mine adds a forced 'achoo' after the actual sneeze
it's like "Tchii - achoo"
 
2:40 PM
Hahaha, that's funny. I have a similar sneeze but I don't do the 'achoo' after.
 
A J
My neighbor, who doesn't live here anymore, has a habit of sneezing three times very loudly at 6 in the morning.
 
i only sneeze twice in a row usually. Except sometimes I double-cough, then sneeze. lel
 
A J
That worked like an alarm clock for us as long as he lived in the neighborhood. ;)
 
haha
 

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