The Awkward Silence

Journeyman Geek

2:42 AM

@ElizB as a person from the country its from - yay?

gparyani

4:31 AM

Feeling the effect of HNQ

Extroverted Main Man

4:54 AM

0

Q: Dealing with people ignoring me, or talking over the top of me

I have a group of friends, and we have been together for a while now where we meet once or twice a week, to play games together - D&D, board games, etc. It's a social event. However, especially lately I've noticed that one person has started to lean in a certain direction when it comes to conver...

Noon

5:42 AM

@scohe001 (and maybe @Mithrandir too?) Is there a way to put regex on the comment bot to avoid reporting something as chatty if the regex also contains a question "?" or a link to a meta-post/the help center? I think it would avoid quite a few numbers of false-positive (but we shouldn't apply that if the comment have "Hight toxicity")

Mithrandir

6:35 AM

@Noon there is, if I can remember it

Introverted Meta Man.

6:53 AM

0

Q: Should we delete answer to close question?

We often got the case of someone asking an off-topic question, getting one or more answers, in some case the OP accepts one of the answers and then, the question is finally close. This leads me to wonder if answers to an off-topic question should be deleted?

discussion

avazula

7:14 AM

→ 11 messages moved to Trash

@Noon Have you ever been in The Closet? There you could play a bit with triggering regexes. If you wanna give it a try please let me know and I'll show you how to do it :)

gparyani

@Noon I wouldn't recommend excluding comments with help center links from being reported. I've seen comments like "This is a 'what should I do' question that is off-topic per [help], but I think you should..."

Noon

8:18 AM

Could someone here tell the answerer to back-it-up for the last paragraph? Since it's my question, I feel it's a bit rude to tell them that myself :/

Hey there @Tas :)

Tas

Hey, thanks for your edit on my answer! I knew there was a better word for it, it was just escaping me at the time!

Noon

No problem ^^ Your answer seems to be doing quite well by the way :)

Mithrandir

→ 14 messages moved to Trash

Cashbee

8:50 AM

@Tas hello tas, and welcome to your own chatroom (The Awkward Silence)

avazula

9:59 AM

graoooooowl

I'm hungry

Tinkeringbell

It's lunchtime over here (12:00 :P)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell For us too, I'm gonna head over soon

But my bosses have the habit of showing up for feedback at 11:50 and 17:50

I never leave the office on time haha

Cashbee

hahah

Tinkeringbell

Ugh... that's not fair! :P

avazula

@Tinkeringbell yeah... well, I don't have vacation for Christmas so, 's not the most unfair thing I can think of rn :p

Noon

10:04 AM

@avazula Wow, people won't don't give Christmas holiday when they don't really need you are not nice!

avazula

The vacation I took in September were already unpaid, and now if I want to have 3 days off on Christmas they're telling me I should go for unpaid vacation as well, whereas I have paid vacation days I could take

Journeyman Geek

0_0

avazula

@Noon yeah, well... I won't ramble 'cause I'm at the office, but ... Things aren't great these days, they're even pretty much terrible

Journeyman Geek

@avazula do they at least encash paid vacation days?

I totally did that at job -1

Noon

@avazula :/

avazula

10:06 AM

@JourneymanGeek what do you mean?

Journeyman Geek

@avazula do they pay you for days of paid leave you don't take?

avazula

@JourneymanGeek ahah. No. If you don't take all your paid vacation days they get lost, unless you put them on a "time-saving account" that'd help you to go on retirement earlier (yeesh... I'm 22 guys ...)

Journeyman Geek

Ya, that's unfair

@avazula or you may switch jobs

Noon

@avazula But that's only for RTT, right?

avazula

@JourneymanGeek tbh I get like half a dozen offers per week, 2 of them are abroad. Yet I stay here cause I feel like it'd be betrayal to leave

Journeyman Geek

10:09 AM

@avazula I learnt a very hard lesson ...

My no 1 loyalty is to my wallet.

Passion dosen't pay the bills. Loyalty dosen't either

at the end of the day, you gotta look out for number 1 ;)

avazula

@Noon Ehh ... you think? I know for sure that paid vacation you don't take are lost

Noon

@avazula I get that feeling :/ I have tried to make a rule for that (for myself): "Mental health is more important than loyalty, take care of yourself"

avazula

@JourneymanGeek That's actually very valuable advice

Noon

@avazula Well, I remember learning that they were lost put paid (but maybe I misremember, you might want to check that out)

avazula

@Noon That's the kind of things I'd say to my friends yet wouldn't apply for myself haha. But you're right.

Journeyman Geek

10:13 AM

(I mean, if you have a job where passion is an asset, and your loyalty is actually rewarded score!)

But most places don't care about the individual

avazula

@JourneymanGeek haha, true. I was supposed to start a new mission this week and they told me yesterday I wouldn't start until another month, 'cause of All Saints' vacation (which I don't have, btw)

Journeyman Geek

@avazula this dosen't sound like a good place

Noon

@avazula Yeah, I know it's hard to apply to yourself, that's why I have written "tried" because I know that I will have a hard time respecting that rule ^^

Journeyman Geek

I've quit a job cause it was... not good for me

avazula

So they're giving me boring and pretty absurd stuff to do, and when I'm free because I'm waiting for customer answers and I do MOOCs to learn new useful stuff and not waste my time, I'm frowned upon

Journeyman Geek

10:16 AM

I'd totally quit my current job once my first year is over and I don't have my lovely termination handcuffs any more, if I found something better

Noon

@JourneymanGeek That's definitively the right but hard thing to do. Congratulation for having the strength to do it!

Journeyman Geek

@Noon Oh, then I went and went all lawyer on them

"Y'all need to pay me for my unused vacation time - while probationary employees don't get them, singapore government regulations state that a probation can't last more than 3 months"

Noon

@JourneymanGeek That must have been stressful!

Journeyman Geek

@Noon oh that's after I quit

So no

I had nothing to lose ;)

Noon

Well, I'm pretty sure it would have been stressful for me anyway :P

(My brain have sometime an hard time understanding the concept of "nothing to lose" :P )

Journeyman Geek

10:19 AM

(Basically my manager had asked for me to be made permanant and given a small increment. My director... basically rubbished my evaluation, questioned the stuff I was undoubtedly good at, and felt that I somehow needed an extra month, after a month of them sitting on their asses of probation)

Also felt that wearing short sleeves to work was unprofressional

@Noon I'd already quit

the decision was made

avazula

@JourneymanGeek yuck o_o that attitude ...

Journeyman Geek

I'm not sure what the concequences were

The hard decision is quitting.

(or deciding you're desperate enough to put up with this)

Noon

@JourneymanGeek I know but, in the same situation, I pretty sure I would have still been anxious (over nothing but yet). Anyway, the fact that it didn't stress you is good for you :)

Journeyman Geek

@Noon It was stressful right till I quit

Then... it was fun

avazula

@Noon me too

Journeyman Geek

10:22 AM

"Hey guys! I have LOTS of documentation! Who do I hand it to?"

Noon

Hehe :P

avazula

@JourneymanGeek hahha :)

Magisch

10:40 AM

@JourneymanGeek lol

I usually show up in tshirt + jeans

Journeyman Geek

11:01 AM

@avazula "Oh, here's one page of wierd hardware issues here, and how to solve them"

It wasn't even malicious compliance

it was them not ready for someone to quit and hand over like everything

Extroverted Main Man

11:14 AM

0

Q: How not to get dismissed in a negotiations

My example will be salary negotations specific but I'd like to know how not to let other person dismiss you easly from negotiations. In a few days I'm planning to renogtiate my salary with boss of my company. He is charismatic and outspoken person, and I know from other people he is not very wil...

money negotiation job

Noon

12:15 PM

@Mithrandir @scohe001 does "(?i)" work with the comment bot? This would allow us to have all regex case insensitive

Cashbee

@Noon they are cas insensitive already

Noon

Well, no need than, thank you :)

avazula

12:36 PM

May I ask you something @Noon?

Noon

@avazula Yeah, go ahead :)

avazula

@Noon :) how did you come to suspect you were on the spectrum?

(I always felt weird & different in my life & yesterday when JAD said there's plenty of ways to be autistic the topic got my interest so I looked it up further, took some quizzes & stuff)

doppelspooker

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 2tps/0fps

A J

→ 14 messages moved to Trash

good evening@

avazula

12:39 PM

@AJ o/

Noon

@avazula Long response incoming, I will need to wait :p

avazula

@Noon haha, ok :p

A J

wassup?

@JourneymanGeek I wear t-shirts and jeans at work. :P

Noon

@avazula I stumble across an article of someone who was on the spectrum (a woman who had been diagnosed late in her life) and it really talked to me. There were differences but I was able to relate a lot. After that, I read a lot about Asperger women who were diagnosed late, took a lot of quizzes (who didn't help me because I didn't know how to respond to some of the questions and because the quizzes weren't concluding and because of other stuff). (stay tune for the rest of this message)

@avazula Then I decided that I was paranoïd and that since I wasn't checking all the boxes, I was complaining about nothing will other people had it worse than me. So, I decided to focus on fixing my anxiety and that my tiredness would magically disappear if I did so. (again, more is to come)

@avazula But then things didn't get better but worse and I feel that, if I wasn't able to fix it, my life would become worse and worse until I would do a very strong burnout and "crash". So, since my mother was thinking that I might be on the spectrum and since I was finally unemployed (which mean that I wasn't that tired anymore and so I was able to think more clearly and do things that would have been too tiring otherwise) I decided to check it out with someone who specialized in the field

@avazula And if you need to read something, read this: femmesautistesfrancophones.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/…

Also, the person who diagnosed me said that the key part was the tiredness

(Sorry for the wall of text, it's over now :P )

avazula

12:59 PM

@Noon No, please don't, that's very interesting :)

@Noon Do you recognize yourself in this?

Noon

@avazula Definitively in all the part about "Apparence / Habitudes personnelles", much less in the rest of it

(probably because the rest is less about "facts" and more about "how normal you feel you are" which is harder to establish

avazula

@Noon I get that.

Thank you very much for that. I learnt a lot

And I think I'm gonna get a diagnosis because it's crazy how many ropes that infography strikes

Noon

@avazula Your welcome, I was happy to share that :)

avazula

@Noon :)

I really wish I'd knew you IRL

Noon

@avazula Maybe someday ^^

avazula

1:04 PM

Like a lot of people in here actually :)

@Noon Haha, sorry, that's a way to say I like you (not romantically)

Noon

@avazula Be careful to choose someone who actually knows about the topic. Otherwise, you will probably be more informed about it that the person you are talking to

@avazula I like you very much to :)

avazula

@Noon I'll try finding someone specialized in my city

Noon

@avazula If you don't know where to find them, you can start by look autism association in your city. If you (or someone, it was my mom for me) give them a call, they would likely be able to point you in the right direction

avazula

@Noon I think I know exaclty where to ask... I did a lot of volunteering for associations helping people with TSA to get into the active life xD

Noon

@avazula Also, you might be interested in reading this blog

@avazula Well, that's perfect then :p

avazula

1:13 PM

@Noon I'll have a look :)

I think you were lucky that your Mom suspected it. It might have eased the diagnosis IMO

Noon

@avazula What it really ease is me, taking seriously the fact that I might be on the spectrum. If it wasn't for her, I'm pretty sure I would still not have been diagnosed. So yeah, I got lucky :)

avazula

I get that :)

scohe001

@Noon you can add ...[^?]*$ to the end of your regex to ensure it only matches if there are no question marks. But I don't think it'd be a good idea to prevent any of the regex from matching questions. We would definitely want to catch "Have you tried...?" or "Maybe you could....?" comments.

Tinkeringbell

1:34 PM

There. Like nothing ever happened! :D

scohe001

All my mistakes, disappearing forever

If only real life was this easy

Thanks for the help Tink!

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell nah, to do that smoothly, you need to delete the messages, move them to the private trashcan, edit your moving message and include an intentional typo, purge the history, and then edit it to fix the typo, making sure that this message is unrelated to whatever you wanted to purge the history of

Noon

@scohe001 I was thinking to only do this for comment having "good answer" in them. I was also thinking of testing the regex for a week/month before replacing anything

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Ouch. You made my head hurt. :P

Mithrandir

(fun fact: I have actually done that)

Cashbee

1:37 PM

purge the history??

what would Napoleon say..

Mithrandir

presses, nobody remembers anything

avazula

@Cashbee did you forget who Tink is?

El'endia Starman

Meant for stuff like PII, of course.

avazula

Tinkeringbell

@El'endiaStarman PII and fun. All fun shall be purged too! (While we're having fun purging the fun, of course!)

Magisch

1:49 PM

Did I hear GDPR relevant discussions?

IPS Comment Bot

@user11153 hey, thanks for weighing in. I just want to say that your upbringing and your struggles as a kid were not your fault regardless of your diagnosis and I'm sorry that you had to endure that. Being "strange" as a kid is an incredibly frustrating thing. Also, I don't think you're disagreeing (with me) since in your case the diagnosis was helpful and that was the important part. — Benjamin Gruenbaum 1 min ago

#19357 Benjamin Gruenbaum | A: How do you tell a Facebook friend that they might be on the autism spectrum? (score: 52) | posted 29 hours ago by JAD (6275 rep) | Toxicity 0.3043404 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Nah... not really ;)

Magisch

begrudgingly slinks back into the shadows

Cashbee

lol

Tinkeringbell

Nooo, come back. If that's what it takes to have people chatting in here, we can talk about GDPR :P

How's life as a Chief DPO?

Magisch

1:56 PM

meh

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Q: I can't find my recently deleted answer

Before the weekend I posted an answer which was reasonably well received, with a bunch of upvotes. It was deleted because, although it told an of interesting and relevant experience, it did not actually answer the question. I have absolutely no problem with my answer being deleted. However, t...

discussion

Magisch

I found Mawg's recently deleted answer!

Noon

@Magisch What dark magic did you use?

Magisch

2:11 PM

Searched for "Mawg" in The Closet where the IPS Comment Bot keeps records of all made comments. Then looked for the inevitable mod comment announcing the deletion. Since I can view deleted posts, I was able to verify that it was the correct one

you can view deleted posts too

Noon

@Magisch That's clever! Thanks for the tip! :)

*2k, not 3k

ah shoot

@Magisch Achoo!

@Tinkeringbell hands a paper towel

Tinkeringbell

2:20 PM

A towel? It's not that bad XD. A tissue will do.

At least the sore throat stage is gone now. And my nose is runny, not stuffy, that's a relief too

El'endia Starman

Something I frequently amuse myself with is to respond to someone's sneeze with "bless you!" spoken in the same way the sneeze sounded.

Tinkeringbell

@El'endiaStarman Heh. You'd have the time of your life. I can't sneeze quietly in a ladylike manner. My sneezes never manage to be cute

Journeyman Geek

hah

El'endia Starman

It took me a fair while to figure out that my coworker was sneezing because the way he did it sounded more like a soft, distant honk.

Tinkeringbell

But I got tissues

Cashbee

2:29 PM

@El'endiaStarman coworker of mine adds a forced 'achoo' after the actual sneeze

it's like "Tchii - achoo"

El'endia Starman

2:40 PM

Hahaha, that's funny. I have a similar sneeze but I don't do the 'achoo' after.

A J

My neighbor, who doesn't live here anymore, has a habit of sneezing three times very loudly at 6 in the morning.

Cashbee

i only sneeze twice in a row usually. Except sometimes I double-cough, then sneeze. lel

A J

That worked like an alarm clock for us as long as he lived in the neighborhood. ;)

Cashbee

haha

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