11:30
@user1450877 I've been thinking over what I think you are trying to say. (Simply because an adult abuses another adult does not mean they would ever abuse their child.) IF that is the message I can glimpse your point. If the abuser(s) seek help for their abusive tendency and lack of control/rage issues, I can see them earning the right to be in the child's life.
However in this question, the father is not in the country legally and still is not being kind or appropriate to the mother. You're right about the OP. We do not know what she does in return or if she is verbally or physically abusive herself. However, she never admitted to any of that and we answer the question as it is written.
On the face of it, I'd say that if the father wants to be in his child's life, he should start by cleaning up his act. Apply for legal status. Agree to therapy. Be respectful to the mother (at least when she is with the child -- same goes for her. She can't push father's buttons or be disrespectful.) The ball is in his court -- if he wants to be a part of the child's life, he has to DO something about it.
It isn't that you did not have a point to make. People can change themselves -- especially when the prize is an important as their own child. Honestly, I think it was the tone of your message that made me unable to hear your message. The be nice policy works in your favour. If you are nice, people tend to at least read your entire message. That doesn't mean we will agree -- but it is a start to deliver your pov.
Discussion on answer by user1450877: …
Discussion on answer by user1450877: …