DO NOT IGNORE HIM.

@MisterPositive any argument for that ? because my line would be "do not feed the troll".

@Walfrat Richard does a good job in his answer explaining that.

Just for my own knowledge, how does one delineate being bullied from feeling bullied? Without of course making a big stink with management or the like. I've known many a coworker who had their qualms, but from a third party perspective no one was actually being inappropriate, and it was simply the disposition of the coworker.

I don't see HR as a nuclear option as some do. They are specifically put into the company to manage company human relations issues. Sure, talk to the manager first, but if you're at the point that someone is spying on a discussion of salary, you're way past that point. They're doing something less detrimental to the team than to the company. Managers are for team-specific issues, not company-level, in my opinion. YMMV of course.

@SliderBlackrose The problem with many companies is HR should be confidential, yet somehow the entire company intimately knows the issue within days. Impression is important to many people and as in my comment I asked how one delineates kind of the when to drop the bomb vs when not to because once you do, it's sort of like being past the point of no return. So, you better have a real situation on your hand.

@CMosychuk that's why I said to start with just confronting him with minor assertive, but non-aggressive counter points. You can delineate on when quite easily: Did the behavior stop? How do you know it's bullying? If you tell someone to stop, and they continue knowing it bothers you, it's bullying.

@SliderBlackrose Once HR is engaged, EVERYTHING goes into the "official record", and it's out of everyone's hands. That's why it's the nuclear option, and believe me, there is ALWAYS fallout.

'If he pulls the childishness about knowing everything about you respond with "Oh, really? What do I have in my upper dresser drawer?" or something like that.' Asking questions of someone you don't actually want to engage further, especially strange ones, isn't a good strategy IMO.

In this case, it needs to be in the official record. Most of the time, by the time you get to this step, there needs to be an official record of misconduct. Fallout will happen, sure, but if you're not willing to stand up for your conviction on what is right in the face of fallout, then you have nothing to complain about when you don't resolve the situation.

Don't forget that you have an ace in the hole: you saw him spying on your conversation with the CEO. I'm willing to bet that the CEO would not appreciate that if he were aware of it. What other private and sensitive conversations has this bully spied on? That will be the first thing the CEO wonders.

Really?! It's a good idea to answer childish remarks with childish remarks of your own? "What's in my sock drawer, then? Neener Neener Neener"

@fredsbend I'd say it's less childish than snarking in the comments section of an answer whilst not putting forth the energy to write one's own answer.

@RichardU The purpose of comments is to critique answers. Is it not childish to respond that way? Because it seems very childish to me.

@fredsbend No, the purpose of comments is to improve posts, See how Steve-O posted a suggestion, then an edit was made to include his suggestion? This isn't American Idol and you are not Simon Cowell. If you want to comment to improve a post, fine, if you just want to snark, not so much.

@RichardU I'm suggesting your answer gives bad advice. The implication is that you may choose to make an edit, or reply to me here and justify why that kind of response is indeed not childish. I'm not sure how you're missing that. Seeing snark is an issue with your perception, not an issue with my words.

@G.Ann-SonarSourceTeam Unless there was another witness to that who was willing to confirm it, I doubt that's usable. The whole thing could get turned around on the OP and this claim will sound crazy.

@fredsbend if you think an answer gives bad advice, just downvote it and write a better one. Don't snark in the comments.

@Erik Noting an answer has a problem is neither snarky nor obligates me to write an answer of my own. ... Still waiting for some reasoning that a reply along the lines of "What's in my sock drawer, then?" is not childish.

@MisterPositive saw the edit, didn't understood that line with that much emphasis.

@Walfrat DNFTT works online because really, what can a Troll do. At work, this person can ruin your livelihood.

@fredsbend before commenting on childishness, you should examine your avatar.

@RichardU ty for the answer back, never got the problem at works myself.

@Walfrat you were lucky. Our whole department had to act against a director once.

Well when i quit stuides and started to work, I had a really huge disapointment which made me grumpy all days about everything that was going wrong (and after 5 yers of experience, it's real things that are wrong, not "we should refactor the code of everything even if it's works and nobody pay for it") and i got the summum of project manager : 16 people managed al orally

I was told by one employee that once he fired a consultant that was writing himself everything to get all tracked even thought he as doing his job properly.

I got other kind of stuff, but no direct bullies like this.

@RichardU but yes I probably got lucky because i'm totally the kind of person that wouldn't stand up like Kilisy said.

@Walfrat I'm more of a schemer myself, even though I'm fairly intimidating. I play the mind games much better than the physical intimidation ones.

:36855766

@RichardU ^^^