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12:10
2
Q: Can I ask someone why they've started wearing religious clothing?

JackThis morning a colleague who has been working here for six months came into the office wearing a turban. She hasn't discussed it beyond mentioning that she will be wearing it from now on. While we believe her husband is Sikh we don't know what prompted her decision to start wearing this headdress...

"Is it professional of us to ask why?" I suggest you edit this question to focus solely on that, as the rest is rather off-topic here (hence the close votes you're getting) and you've basically already discovered part of it. A question on whether this is okay to ask about and how to do so tactfully may be interesting to have here.
@NotMe It's rather more than a simple colour or outfit choice. I think it's not hard to make the comparison to someone who comes into the office with a moustache in November, an awareness ribbon or with an engagement ring. This topic is typically considered more polarising but it remains a statement and as I see it that makes it okay to ask about, particularly since this person announced that she'd be wearing it henceforth. I think it's reasonable to ask behind her reasons, provided that it's done out of curiosity and not bigotry.
@Lilienthal I think that appearance-related questions are not professional, whether for curiosity or other reasons. A workplace can have a dress code, for safety or professional appearance or whatever. HR can decide if an exception is allowed. Everyone else should ignore individual appearance as much as possible. I don't even like being asked about something visible like a ring. It is my choice to wear what I want, and not have to field questions. That is the only fair way to look at it.
@nocomprende Eh, no. No it's not. You may want the world to work like that but when someone comes into the office suddenly wearing an engagement ring it's expected that they'll get questions about it. While you have the choice of saying that you'd prefer not to talk about your personal life, it's understood that people get to ask you about a conscious statement that you make.
I've made a significant edit to the post to focus it on a question that can be answered and should be on-topic here.
@lilienthal I wait for people to tell me personal info, otherwise I figure it is none of my business. Hey, where did you buy that tie? What brand of shirt is that? Where do you get your hair cut? You should get that car washed more often... I had enough nosiness and bullying in middle school. Some people don't seem to grow up.
@nocomprende As I've said repeatedly now, this isn't asking about fashion, it's about someone making a personal statement. Even if we ignore the fact that it's exceptionally common to ask precisely those questions out of curiosity or for small chat, you don't get to do something like shaving your head for cancer awareness without implicitly giving people permission to ask you about it. Refusing to engage when you're asked about this is a bit weird (a statement is meant to be noticed) but within your rights. But you don't get to be offended that someone dared to ask about it.
12:10
@Lilienthal I was always told that anything religious or political is off limits in the workplace. A turban seems... Religious? People wear what they do for a lot of reasons, and not everything visible is a 'statement'. We can determine a lot by just observing respectfully. As a man working with beautiful women in the office and clients, I can get in to trouble just by looking at someone the wrong way, let alone opening my mouth. Since I am there to earn a living and don't wish to lose my job, I keep very closely to myself, and expect others to do the same. - -
- - My fiancee said last night that men and women might as well be living on different planets, considering how they think, behave, and the limits placed on them. Perhaps you will listen to her, if you won't take my word for it?
> A turban seems... Religious?
So you argument is that this woman shouldn't be allowed to wear a turban?
Because that's the logical extension.
It's true that these are loaded topics and in general you should avoid discussing them at work. But when someone comes into work with a Vote Trump button or is suddenly wearing a yarmulke after converting then it's fine to remark on that.
As for what you discuss with your wife, that's really no business of mine and doesn't seem in any way related to this topic.
And keep in mind that refusing to engage in a normal conversation with women seems very strange and is actually sufficient behaviour to create a hostile workplace in and of itself since you're treating women differently.
@Lilienthal Wow, concrete logic such as I find on SE always completely pulls the rug from under me. No, my contention is that anyone may wear whatever they wish subject to the dress code or needs of the place, without having to explain themselves. Would you really wish it to be otherwise?
> Refusing to engage when you're asked about this is a bit weird (a statement is meant to be noticed) but within your rights. But you don't get to be offended that someone dared to ask about it.
And like I said, you're failing to see a distinction between dress/fashion and social/political/religious statements.
@Lilienthal What is "normal conversation" between men and women? Most people worldwide would say that there is no such thing. At some times and places in the US or UK, we somehow overlooked male-female differences, which is noce, if you can get it, but it is not the norm, and likely will not be for a long time. I am acting so as to protect my job. Also, I have curiosity about people, but learned to stifle its expression long ago.
To be honest, if you even have to ask that question then there's no point in talking further.
You seem set in your ways so I'll agree to disagree.
12:22
@Lilienthal I fail to see a distinction that does not exist. All appearance is deeply personal, there is no sphere (except family or friends) where it may be inquired in to. I read that the turban is a Sikh symbol of connection with one's Guru, which is personal beyond even giving birth to someone. It is never to be pried in to, no matter what. Did you see the Star Trek episode where spock mind-melded with the vulcan woman? Like that.
@Lilienthal Human reaction and behavior is very tenuous. My Guru says that Love is Acceptance, Respect and Trust. I aim to love everyone equally, so I give them that. As a Hetaira Personality, of course I can see people's emotions and a lot of what is going on for them. Such personal insight makes me even more reticent to badger them.
- I am supportive when it seems obvious to do so (someone struggling with a door or something) but otherwise, I just observe. Perhaps most people do not make use of their built-in abilities to observe?
@enderland unless you wanted to add something or ask a question, I need to get ready for work now. What brings tou here, friend?
Nothing heard -

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