I am a US citizen living in the US. Though I am a legal adult and financially independent, I sometimes travel internationally with my parents. Once we arrive at our destination, my parents demand that I turn over my passport and withhold it from me until it is time to return home. This is unsafe ...
It is illegal to posses fraudulent documents, but I don't think that is your real problem. Have you considered grabbing the hotel safe and not telling your parents the combination?
Well, we stay with relatives, so there's no hotel safe handy. Even otherwise, I wouldn't put it past them to manipulate/social engineer the hotel staff into opening the safe and turning over my passport.
@robert The real issue is obviously a social one. But until I can save up enough money to move yet again, my parents know where I live, and can force me to travel. I'll be glad to stop "sidestepping the real issue" if anyone here wants to fork over a couple grand so I can move. Thanks in advance.
Technically withholding your passport from you domestically or overseas is illegal. So if you want to solve that problem once and for all report it to the police.
If nothing else, and you wish to go home while they are holding your passport, you can travel to a US Consulate and get a new passport issued. It's a bit of a drastic step, but if you're being forced to be somewhere you don't want to be, it's one you can take.
BTW, the fake passport plan doesn't sound like a winner to me. What happens if they present the fake passport at an immigration checkpoint because they think it's real? Or your bags are searched and the fake passport is found? Law enforcement is going to be rightfully suspicious, and "oh I carry a fake passport too because my parents confiscate mine" is going to make them considerably more suspicious, not less.
Why is this question a duplicate of mine? That question is about how to retain the old passport while the new passport is being processed for renewal. My question is about how to get a second passport. The same answers might suit both questions, however, the questions themselves are not duplicates.
Like @jcaron I don't see how they can make you travel. Refuse to go through security, cash in your airline ticket. If you do travel, refuse to stay with them. If you're financially independent, and over 21, stay in a hotel of your choosing. Don't allow them to make any travel plans for you.
@mkennedy I could do all of those things, if they didn't know where I live (in the US). They do. And they can take action on anything I do to "defy" them. It's a complicated situation. Like I said above, I'm working on moving (yet again) so they won't know where I live.
They may be your parents, but you have been far too kind to them. If they pull a stunt like that again, turn them over to the police. For their own good. There is absolutely no reason for you to accept this sort of abuse from them.
Being on the run is not really a solution either. The law should protect you from being forced and detained against your will, or blackmailed into submission. Speak with a police officer now, not when they will return.
my parents demand that I turn over my passport and withhold it from me until it is time to return home: just say No. The abusive behaviour will never stop if you don't start saying no, independently of the strategy you come up with. Yours is an XY problem.
'They know where I live. And they can take action on anything I do to "defy" them.'. It seems that you have an abusive parents problem, not a travel one.
Concerning the second (real or fake) passport, how will you handle the stamps? After a short time, stamps from recent travels will be missing from one passport and it is likely that your parents will notice. How will they react when they will know you fooled them?
Where are the good old US days where you got a gun and simply pointed at the fence where your property ended. The only positive thing I ever saw in this amendment stuff you got at the other end of the ocean.
You will never get your peace before you draw the line. How often do you want to move and spent fortunes on this? Make a point, be consequent about it and report every unlawfull "actions" to the police.
@MauganRa: I don't know but I think recording without permission is illegal or won't be allowed in court in the US. But it is always good to have written notes with time and place and the exact content you talked about because it makes your story more trustworthy to authorities if you have a log about every time something happened, what happend and what every person said.
Could you ask the embassy of the destination country to fake a rejection of your VISA application next time you travel? Or give your passport back to the Department of State if nothing works?
@Elliot Murt I've read quite a lot of horror stories of crazy parents f***ing up their children's lives in Reddit's "raisedbynarcissists" subreddit. It may be that the actions you say they can take are real, and maybe can even be told to the police, or it may be that there's no real threat outside their psychological manipulations. Maybe sharing or reading with other people who were in your position might help in any case.
If you are legally adult, the solution to all your problems is to say "No". They cannot force you to handle your passport if you do not wish to, and they cannot force to travel anywhere if you do not wish to. It does not matter if "they know where you live" or whatever. You clearly do not have healthy parents.
Wow, this blew up. Just to address a few things, I've already spoken to the police. Setting boundaries will get me killed. I'm not 'on the run', I just need to move to a place they don't know.
All of this kind of abuse is considered normal if you are less than 18 years old, but as soon as you're older than that, it's suddenly "consider turning them over to the police". Society is weird.
I am sorry, but I simply can't shake the feeling you are simply trolling. It doesn't seem very convincing to me that your parents are trying to kill you and you post this on the internet...
They are not trying to kill me per se, but there is an imminent risk of it if I 'defy' them (do something they perceive as defiance). But I see now the internet is the wrong place to get useful advice.
@dryman Once I move, they won't know where I am, so they can't do anything.
Indeed. you say you live in the US, so a developed first-world country (of sorts...). In this case, if you fear threatened you shouldn't consult the internet, you should talk to a lawyer and/or the police.
@Elliot Murt. Don't count too much on that. There is a lot of public data that could give your new position, not counting the possibility that they simple get someone to follow you.
@Elliott: Then give it your best shot because I don't think they leave it at that. If they try to social engineer their way into a hotel safe they surely will try to find your new home. This will not end before authorities feel the need to protect you or your parents stop messing up your life. Either way I wish you all the luck in the world you will reach a life without the need to look over your shoulder!
IANAL. Being in the US, you could consider acquiring a firearm permit and some handgun. It could be a good deterent as well as a potential tool for self-defense if it comes to it.
@ElliottMurt I think I have to agree with the general consensus here. As it is described above, the passport issue is the tiniest itty-bitty part of a much more vast problem. Even if we were to solve the presented problem (and there are a few solutions), it may not actually be a valid solution when combined into the greater scheme of things.
I'd recommend finding someone you can trust, and talking with them. Brainstorm on solutions to the real problem, not the smaller one presented here. It's probably unreasonable to trust the internet, but find someone you can trust.
In the mean time, playing games with passports may actually work against you, not for you. Not knowing the actual situation, it may be that you make the situation worse by giving them proof that you're trying to get away, and that could make any actual action you take harder.
Discussion on question by Elliott Mur…
Discussion on question by Elliott Mur…