Check out: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/60169/…

@JoeStrazzere Yes, thank you. I had carefully read that. It seems to me, that my situation is different, because "everybody" talks about their upcoming wedding, and I have to endure two more years of evading to answer. I can't blame them for asking, but I don't feel like answering either. Deflection just causes it to be asked again eventually.

As far as I can tell, virtually all the answers to the question I linked apply equally well here.

@nocomprende: to be fair (though I really like your answer ;)) I'd suppose you get down-voted because I don't really think that's workplace-related. It's a situation that could arise at work or any other social circle with more or less close acquaintances. Maybe, don't know.

@haylem Sure. But at work, I am not able to run away. This makes it workplace-related.

@comprendre The edit you have added to your post isn't really necessary to answer the question, it just makes it come across as a rant and more likely to be downvoted and closed. I'd consider removing that and trying to keep the question concise and as objective as possible (for an emotionally awkward situation).

@JaneS Thank you. It is a rant. I removed it.

@nocomprende - that blurt would probably work. "and the word Fiancee inevitably elicits the question" - for new work acquaintances, avoid that word if you don't want to talk about related topics.

That woman who stops by pretty often, and her son who comes by after he's done working so I can drop him off at home. No one will be the wiser...

With all due respect, if you keep using the word "Fiancee", you are inviting the listener to ask the question, "when will you get married?" If you don't want to hear that question, don't bring up the topic in the first place.

@MaskedMan OK. I will agree with you, if you give me a reasonable term by which I can refer to her. Saying nothing is not an option, people know that we are together and spend a lot of time together. So what magic word will head off the question, which is not a lie or seemingly shameful (girlfriend seems out of place for people 5 decades old)? With all respect to everyone here, this is exactly why I say so very little about myself at work. It got awkward when I had surgery, was out for weeks, and people wanted to visit me in the hospital, or deliver food to my apartment.

@nocomprende My point is if other people talking about your personal life at work is uncomfortable to you, then don't bring up such personal topics at all. If you just stop talking about her entirely at work, people will also stop asking about her. Everyone has enough of their own problems to worry about, I am sure nobody really cares enough about your girlfriend/fiancée to spend their lifetime wondering when she would get married.

Instead of fiancée or girlfriend you could choose another word like friend, partner, sweetheart, lover, significant other, other half, etc. There is probably an endless list of such words. See What is a synonym for “girlfriend”? . If people ask why you changed what you called her just be honest in a good natured way, "I stopped calling her that so that people would stop asking my when we were getting married because honestly I don't know!"

@Brandin, I do know when I am getting married, I am just not happy with the circumstances that cause me to have to do it this way, nor with the way the explanation makes me feel. I used to call my former wife "Songollay" (Beloved of my heart in Quechua) but she didn't like it. I used to call my Guru "My Lady", but she asked me to stop and use her name instead. "Partner" always seemed like a business term to me. Other answers in the linked question mainly try to placate for the use of "girlfriend", so I guess I am stuck with that, even though she does not like it. Rather not have to say.

@nocomprende When you are speaking to your colleagues, you can use one word to refer to your future wife, and when you are speaking to her directly, you use a different word that she prefers.

@Brandin - somehow, the point of this entire discussion turns on the deep discomfort I have for needing to relate differently with different groups of people... "Refraining to mention" works fine for me, uttering words that cannot be equally said to everyone does not. I simply wish that people would restrain their urge to ask! Why do they not do this?

@MaskedMan ... except, as I said, when she stops in, or when her son is here after he leaves work (every day for the summer). I can not mention. But can they please not ask? When they do ask, what do I say? I can't stop them from asking.

They're trying to make polite conversation. Likely they don't care one way or another, but it's something to say to fill in the awkward space based on the limited information they have about you. Get a puppy, if you can without affecting your timeline. People love to talk about puppies.

@AmyBlankenship I guess I have to let this die out now, as it does not seem to be converging on something that is enlightening for me. I simply find it awkward that their attempts to avoid awkwardness by making polite conversation cause me to feel awkward that I cannot respond in an open and clear way. It seems to be a sort of paradox! As someone I know said, "Attempting to avoid conflict creates conflict." I need to embrace feeling uncomfortable and thrown off-balance, I suppose.

@nocomprende You did not say it in the question (or at least, I don't see it), but anyway, leave that aside. Too bad, you are asking for the impossible. If my mom drops in at my workplace, my colleagues will most certainly ask me about her, as a common courtesy. Since I don't feel comfortable talking about my mom all the time with my colleagues, I just avoid having my mom show up at my workplace. As a result, nobody has any need to talk about my mom. You can't be bringing your significant people to the workplace, and demand that others don't talk about them. Things don't work that way.