@SomeShinyObject I think asking a child to trust you, to trust that you place limits on their activities for a good reason, is different than "my house, my rules". The former is (imo) good parenting, the latter is a way to control a child without dialog, unless it really is used as a warning that the "child" really will need to find different accommodations if something continues.

@SomeShinyObject the problem is also in the wording. “My house, my rules“ has that connotation of exercising absolute authority without reasoning, previously reached agreements or similar. I have known enough scenarios where this was at play, so I am very vary of the term. We do have some specific rules in our home as well, some may seem arbitrary to outsiders, but without going into details, they are important to either my husband or me and at minimum are established to ensure our wellbeing(s).

Does that make them examples of “my house, my rules”? I don’t know. That’s why I said it’s a grey area.

What we try to avoid as much as possible is a “because I say so” attitude. We are comparatively relaxed, cooperative and open parents, but there are limits. (There always are, of course, just that depending on the individual family they may be more or less obvious to outsiders.) I think I have pulled out that statement maybe three or four times in all my time as a parent. (2 kids, nearly 14 years. I can live with that statistics.)

@anongoodnurse “because I said so” not for general rules, but for those discussions of why we will do X in a specific single situation after previous discussions and in “resistance and continued debate just out of spite and stubbornness”.