The Playground

12:08 AM

I'm glad I found this chat. balanced mama's conversation was less than helpful with me as she came across as making up her own rules, so I reported her to SE. Had I known that this was a unanimous decision of the moderators and not her own rule making, I would have approached the situation differently.

Also, Torben's suggestion of simply approaching me before editing would have been appreciated and much less confrontational.

Now, if I may: balanced mama has given medical advice of "wait until it happens again b/c Dr's can't diagnose based on symptoms alone" and "perhaps you should see a…

balanced mama

I'm sorry, I think you misunderstood what I was saying in that comment. Those parents should take that child to see a doctor about the green tongue ASAP. But, they'll either need the child's tongue to still be green or need a photo to show the doctor so he can see what it looks like so he can diagnose.

I will go clarify that further - thanks for the heads up.

@JeremyMiller Welcome to Chat

Jeremy Miller

I guess that's where we disagree... Dr's don't always need to see the symptom. Sometimes it's an indicator and they will look for other things. :)

And, thanks for the welcome!

balanced mama

Also, so you know, your profile description is also public - which is why I felt the need to remove the remarks immediately. Normally I like to offer a comment with the advice to change something and give a person time to make the change - unless another member is being critiqued without info to back up the critque.

Jeremy Miller

I read the full chat and I appreciate your desire to protect another user given that that is unanimously considered bad form. :)

balanced mama

Which post is the dangerous one to which you were referring in your profile description? I'd love to do sometihng about it if I can.

Jeremy Miller

12:14 AM

parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/9233/… -- To me it's the wait and see that's dangerous b/c what if that's only one symptom and the parent doesn't know how to identify the others? Only a Dr can make that call and better safe than sorry! :)

balanced mama

Okay, and I'm not in disagreement with that - my comment wasn't intended to sound like a wait and see and I appreciate the feedback, but I was asking about the other person's posts that you see as dangerous. I know you say your complaint with her was about voting though and I'll go check out her voting record, but that can be pretty hard to establish and wasn't what your description said.

Jeremy Miller

Oh, gosh. I don't remember now. How about we just drop it? To me it was her attitude of if you don't agree with me, then you should be downvoted. But I'm happy to move on and keep it fun and peaceful. :)

balanced mama

The question you are concerned about was removed though as it is asking for medical advice. I flagged it as I was not yet a moderator. Since it is now closed, it is less visible.

Jeremy Miller

Then moving on where we all have a great day! Thanks!

balanced mama

I agree that downvoting simply because of a disagreement is poor form and not the encouraged policy here. I am only looking to resolve whatever issues we can as I would like to see the site move out of Beta successfully and rightfully without dangerous content.

@JeremyMiller Thanks for your feedback and I look forward to chatting with you again.

Jeremy Miller

12:20 AM

u2!

Oh, 1 last thing: I apologize for breaking the rules and causing hardship. I didn't break them knowingly and will be sure not to do so in the future.

balanced mama

@JeremyMiller no worries - now you now.

Have a great evening

Also, @JeremyMiller, just so you know, I'm new to the moderator tools, but based on what I can see - I don't see any downvotes from the user in question. Is it possible you misunderstood how and why you got a down vote on something?

Karl Bielefeldt

12:48 AM

@balancedmama I think voting is private even to moderators. We can see the totals, but not which posts were voted on.

Jeremy Miller

1:25 AM

@balancedmama It may be possible. I don't even remember which post it was now, so I'm happy to just move on. :) Thanks for your diligence, though!

balanced mama

1:43 AM

@KarlBielefeldt Exactly.

Torben Gundtofte-Bruun

8:12 AM

You might not know, but the SE system has a lot of built-in checks against cheating and malicious behavior. If somebody runs amok, or tries to game the system, it will most likely be detected automatically and flagged by the system so that mods will be notified. We've only had one such incident in nearly three years so I'd say Parenting users are generally very well-behaved.

Also, welcome @JeremyMiller :-) Keep in mind that it's easy to flag anything you think is questionable in terms of content, style, or whatever. You can flag questions, answers, and comments. Mods and high-rep users can see those flags and discuss (if needed) before taking action (if needed).

Karl Bielefeldt

5:56 PM

0

Q: How much water should be given to an infant producing hard stools?

We have started giving Nestle Cerelac Rice (12 spoons per day) + 360ml infant formula per day to our 6 month old baby (at the gap of 3 hours). The baby has started producing hard stools for past few days. I don't want to fill her stomach with water instead of food. How much water should be give...

infant

Seems like it falls too far past the "seeking to treat a medical condition" line of our off topic guidelines, with the potential for some dangerous advice. Agreed?

balanced mama

9:05 PM

@KarlBielefeldt Agreed.

Well, unless we get a well-researched answer that also suggest a visit to the ped if things continue or get worse. It is borderline for sure.

I think the one answer there is about as good as it is going to get and that answer doesn't really negate the need to still, "ask the doc."

Torben Gundtofte-Bruun

Because the single existing answer is reasonable and includes "ask the doc," I'd wait and see how the page develops before taking any action. You can flag it just so you don't lose track of it. (I would often just keep the page open in a browser tab for a few days. This wouldn't work on a bigger SE site :-)

balanced mama

Why wasn't

7

Q: My baby fell from the bed. Is there any problem?

My 7 months baby fell from the bed yesterday on her back. I couldn't notice how she fell but we heard a sound and we ran to her only to find here lying on her back crying. The height of the bed is about 50 inch from the floor. She seems to be OK now playing but still I am very scared whether she ...

infant

closed for the whole medical advice thing - I'm not saying it should be now, I'm just curious.

@TorbenGundtofte-Bruun was it similar, there was an answer there before you really noticed, and then both answers basically say - go see the doc with some additional helpful info? I think it is probably good to have it there for future people with the same question - they get their answer faster that way right?

Karl Bielefeldt

9:59 PM

Here's the most recent relevant meta discussion I'm aware of:

5

Q: medical questions - line between on / off topic and how to handle

These recent questions (on the front page of questions as of time of posting): What are the risks of surgery for a tongue-tied toddler? (asking about risks of surgery, relatedness of other medical issues) One year old is restless and scared after an injection (specific medication injection side...

discussion content

I see the baby fell out of bed question as asking for a parent's point of view on whether they should see a doctor. The constipation question is asking for a very specific amount of water to treat a specific medical condition and asking for references to back it up.

These questions have always been tricky. I guess I'm a little extra sensitive right now because of the recent brouhaha over dangerous answers.

I'm okay with waiting to see how it develops, though.

@TorbenGundtofte-Bruun Do you just leave the flag open? The fact that they track the resolve time seems to suggest that's not preferred.

Also, being a mod changes the perspective. I used to be able to spout lofty theoretical ideals of moderation, glossing over the details, confident the mods would handle the tricky bits. Having to take a concrete position is taking some getting used to.

Torben Gundtofte-Bruun

10:45 PM

need a respond properly tomorrow, I'm already in bed. But let me give a quick response.

Why that one want closed, I'll take a look tomorrow. In general, you are right, these are tricky and one of the reasons many didn't this site would survive. It's difficult to run a "hard" Q&A site on a "soft" and subjective topic like parenting. We try to be reasonably generous with the grey area but keep a close watch.

Such "reminder flags" stay open for a few days. Yes, that messes with the flag stats and flags are supposed to be closed reasonably fast. I say, to hell with that :-) We will run this place like this if that works well for us. The flag will be closed in a few days, No big deal. As long as we have single-digit number of open flags, this works. When site gets bigger, we'll find another solution, or the community will deal with it by itself.

It's fun, in a way, to see you come face to face with the tricky bits. It's also what makes being a mod interesting, and gratifying!

On the hand, please do tell me to shut up already when I'm chatty. I think I stepped down, so I should leave the stage, as it were. Good night!

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