The Bridge

SaintWacko

18:00

@badp Give it a year, people will believe that

It's depressing

Avery

pewdiepie's youtube demographics~

SaintWacko

Ooh, bionic

Fancy words there

user15026

is apple doing a thing?

Avery

@Ash yes

they have an event

new iphone revealed I think

badp

@Ash Maaaaaaayyyybbbbeeeeeeee?

Unionhawk

18:02

for definitions of a thing

Avery

@Avery (though those values there might not point out the actual demographics)

SaintWacko

@Ash You'd be astounded at the number of old technologies they've just invented

badp

They announced the iPhone right after the Apple TV so it can't be all that good

So far nothing of note was announced

Yuuki

@Avery For certain values of "new".

user15026

@SaintWacko oh yeah?

Avery

18:03

@Yuuki BUT ITS SHINY

user15026

I honestly do not understand apple.

badp

@Ash Just check back in an hour or so we should be done by then

DanmakuGrazer

Steins;Gate is 50% off on Steam

user15026

deal, then someone can give me the tl;dr :P

badp

Oh wow you can… change people's skin tones?

Avery

18:06

@DanmakuGrazer eh, still too expensive

like

considering when the game got released and stuff, I'd expect to pay 75% or 50% of the 50% discounted value (so 66% or 75% discount)

Tim Stone

@Yuuki Impressive but also kind of hilarious that McDonald's called something with the spiciest ingredient being black pepper "Szechuan"

badp

This is too boring for me to ridicule, it's depressing almost

Avery

I believe the sauce was a thing before mcd

SaintWacko

GAH ALL THE STREAMS ARE FAILING

Unionhawk

@Yuuki It's too bad there was finally an episode that far surpasses 301

SaintWacko

18:09

> First smartphone designed for augmented reality

Y'know, other than the Project Tango devices

Unionhawk

THE ONLY SMARTPHONE THAT EXISTS

Yuuki

@TimStone To be fair, this was back in 90s when, as I recall, spicy wasn't a thing most people were interested in.

Unionhawk

Fuck I don't have other seasons downloaded

:(

SaintWacko

I will admit, Apple's ARkit is the best AR implementation I've seen

It's really good

cazc_941

Ø F D R E A M - Thelema

►

badp

18:12

V V V V V I D E O G A M E S S S S

Forever changed

…they're super boring now

Kevin van der Velden

Extendable keyboard and mouse on a mobile phone? :o

Avery

oh my

I need that

mobile keyboards SUCK

Tim Stone

@Yuuki Sure, it's just an affront :P

badp

Oh finally Apple invented wireless charging

2

Unionhawk

hahahahahaahahahsha

Kevin van der Velden

18:14

@TimStone To be fair, it's food by mcdonalds. That's automatically an affront

SaintWacko

I think I must be a little behind you guys on the stream

I can't watch the official stream since it doesn't work on Chrome for Apple Reasons

Tim Stone

@KevinvanderVelden Fair, fair

SaintWacko

Holy shit

You guys

Now that the iPhone charges wirelessly, they can get rid of ports entirely

cazc_941

@SaintWacko you can't watch apples stream in Chrome? The fuck?

Unionhawk

It's probably a quicktime thing

badp

18:15

iPhone ten confirmed for portlessness

Unionhawk

because that exists for some reason

Wipqozn

@Frank gunpla?

SaintWacko

@cazc_941 Yep! I'm not sure how long it took them to think of a reason, but they managed to find an excuse to not make it work on Chrome

cazc_941

@Wipqozn I think you accidentally a letter

Tim Stone

@Unionhawk Even better, "HLS"

Edge and Safari or GTFO

Unionhawk

18:16

@TimStone What does that even mean

Tim Stone

HTTP Live Streaming

murgatroid99

HTTP Live Streaming

HTTP Live Streaming (also known as HLS) is an HTTP-based media streaming communications protocol implemented by Apple Inc. as part of its QuickTime, Safari, OS X, and iOS software. It resembles MPEG-DASH in that it works by breaking the overall stream into a sequence of small HTTP-based file downloads, each download loading one short chunk of an overall potentially unbounded transport stream. As the stream is played, the client may select from a number of different alternate streams containing the same material encoded at a variety of data rates, allowing the streaming session to adapt to t...

SaintWacko

@TimStone I can't even get it to work on Edge

Tim Stone

Are you on Windows 10?

SaintWacko

@TimStone Yep

The iPhone X?

Tim Stone

18:18

Hmm, I dunno then

cazc_941

@SaintWacko lole

badp

Hah, the iPhone 8 was a psyche

Tim Stone

FWIW I'm on Windows 7 and am just screwed so I'm no better off :P

Unionhawk

fwiw I don't really care so it doesn't matter if I have edge or not

SaintWacko

@TimStone There are a few youtube live things rebroadcasting it

That's what I'm doing

Avery

18:19

Live Apple Event - Apple September Event 2017 - iPhone 8, iPhone X, iOS 11 - Apple Keynote

►

badp

Yup, the full face screen mobile is real

Avery

just watch it here

badp

iPhone 10

SaintWacko

Damn

Tim Stone

@badp lol they just rotated the camera bulge instead of finding a way to remove it

SaintWacko

18:19

Alright, gotta say that's nice looking

Avery

iphone x

badp

Avery

lol

what about iphone 9 lmao

why doe seveyrone hate 9

badp

"the screen goes edge to edge" except it doesn't

Avery

that camera

SaintWacko

18:20

I mean, they're not the first ones to do that screen, so rip

But still

badp

@Avery 9 is imperfect! 1 short! Cheap!

Ain't no one got time for 9

fredley

Windows 9

SaintWacko

Oh ffs

the Super Retina Display

badp

Apple invented oled you guys

fredley

It's a phablet

Yuuki

18:21

@murgatroid99 That thumbnail.

badp

It's the only one that's good enough for iPhone!

Avery

> super retina display

Yuuki

@fredley Or is it a tablerone?

fredley

@Yuuki lol

Fits so well in your hands, if you're a giant

Avery

UI murder.

fredley

18:22

Lol, after the whole thing about how great iPhone 8's colours were

SaintWacko

> We have the best color accuracy. Everyone says so

Unionhawk

The best colors

Avery

why will anyone buy iphone 8

fredley

Oh wow, tapping the screen

SaintWacko

Hahahaha

badp

18:23

Apple invented not having a physical button on the front you guys

SaintWacko

@Avery Because it's probably half the price

Unionhawk

I N N O V A T I V E

Avery

> tap to wake

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

why not double tap

SaintWacko

Swipe up to go to the homescreen

Tim Stone

SaintWacko

18:23

This is hilarious

Tim Stone

Andy Rubin did it better tbh

badp

Apple invented the Bixby button

Yuuki

@Avery Because that's reserved for zombies.

fredley

Wait, doesn't swipe from the bottom do something already in iOS?

Unionhawk

yes

Avery

18:24

til: my windows phone devices were zombies

fredley

A BUTTON ON THE SIDE

SaintWacko

Ah, this is the part I'm curious about

Tim Stone

@TimStone Well, for definitions of "did it", since I think the Essential Phone has been plagued by delays

SaintWacko

Ooh, guys, they created slide to unlock!

And they invented using a fingerprint to unlock your phone!

badp

It's face id, like Windows hello

fredley

18:25

Android also does this

SaintWacko

And they invented facial biometrics!

fredley

And has done for ages

Avery

> this protected iphone from opening on your pocket

fredley

And it's crap, especially in winter

badp

One speaker you guys

Avery

18:25

well

fredley

Remove scarf to unlock phone

Avery

TAP TO WAKE

aaaaaaaa

SaintWacko

@fredley But that's impossible because Apple just invented it

Avery

face id xd

badp

Avery

18:26

Let's make shit easier for law enforcement yay

fredley

Wait, you look at it and it shines a bright light at you?

badp

Yes

It's Infrared

SaintWacko

@fredley I think it's IR

badp

BUILT IN NEURAL ENGINE

fredley

@SaintWacko o ok

SaintWacko

18:27

But I really like the idea of it being a big bright light

Unionhawk

@Avery the iphone has always been a cop tbh

badp

You can take a video of people and watch as they unlock their phone

Avery

IT FIRES IR TO YOU

SaintWacko

@badp MULTIPLE NEURAL NETWORKS

fredley

Neural engine

Tim Stone

18:27

@badp Wait, it projects actual dots on your face?

badp

and their face is just flooded on camera

SaintWacko

@badp Oh geez I didn't think about that

@TimStone IR again, I think

fredley

@TimStone Yeah, Kinect pioneered this approach

badp

@TimStone yes

Avery

> neural network

> machine larning

yay lets throw rando words

SaintWacko

18:28

@fredley NO IT DIDN'T APPLE INVENTED IT

fredley

OH SHIT PROCESSORZ

SUCH MHZ

Unionhawk

Apple invented MHZ

fredley

HOW MANY GIGAFLOPS

Unionhawk

1.21

Avery

> dual core

why

fredley

18:28

murgatroid99

@Avery I don't know the context, but those aren't really random words. They're meaningful related concepts

Avery

@murgatroid99 I know

SaintWacko

Okay, that's actually impressive if the masks won't work

fredley

Oh finally Apple invented tap to wake

Oh finally Apple invented face unlock

Unionhawk

Oh finally Apple invented inventing things

fredley

18:30

Oh finally Apple invented AR

SaintWacko

@fredley I know, thank goodness

I don't know what we'd do without them

badp

Apple pay? Just double tap the Bixby Button

Unionhawk

Android pay just requires your phone to be unlocked does apple pay require it to be open?

badp

Animoji
by Samuel Axon 20:30

This new camera system is going to enable great user experiences. It's not just Face ID; there's something with emojis too.
by Samuel Axon 20:30

Avery

also

badp

18:31

@Unionhawk I dunno

Avery

iphone x is thick

fredley

@badp :thinking_face:

SaintWacko

Whenever he says TrueDepth I hear True Dat

fredley

Here we go

badp

Apple invented facerig you guys

Unionhawk

18:32

finally

fredley

APPLE INVENTED EMOJIS

Avery

ANIMATED EMOJIS

ANIMOJI

SaintWacko

That was terrifying

Tim Stone

Now we can all fulfill our dreams of being Patrick Stewart being the pile of poop

Avery

SO SCARY

fredley

18:33

2

Oh hooray I can map my face onto a pile of shit

SaintWacko

HAhaha

fredley

Oh lets try that again

rekt

SaintWacko

It failed right away

Twice in a row

badp

Apple invented watching videos with holes in the side

Avery

lo nice

Tim Stone

18:34

I still can't believe they gave up that much screen real estate to the stuff at the top

SaintWacko

I think I actually prefer the screen to stop below the cameras

Avery

the swipe up is the stupidest idea

fredley

@SaintWacko Especially landscape, that's just awful

SaintWacko

I really don't like the look of that gap

Avery

like

SaintWacko

18:35

@fredley Yeah, that's really pretty ugly

fredley

At least for video crop it pls

badp

Apple invented the control center sliding from the bottom

Avery

I KNOW that if i get one when scrolling online or stuff, I'll accidentally exit the apps

SaintWacko

Really Easy

fredley

OH SHIT A UNIVERSAL BACK

badp

18:35

Today Apple invented the control center sliding from the top

SaintWacko

Is "Really Easy" this years version of "So Brave"?

fredley

3rd time lucky

SaintWacko

@badp Wait, is that not something it had before?

Avery

ok it worked this time

fredley

Wait, isn't this normal snapchat?

Avery

18:37

ohgod

IS IT THE HOTDOG

NO

fredley

badp

If by chance you were wondering what humanity would do when given access to the most advanced facial tracking tech, you now have an answer, he says while speaking through the poop animoji.
by Samuel Axon 20:37

That was a quote

Avery

> horse sounds on horse emoji

fredley

Would Steve Jobs have done a live demo with a pile of shit?

4

Avery

aaaaaaaaaaaaa

fredley

18:38

Mouth tracking quite poor

Unionhawk

No

Avery

top 10 anime cringes

badp

Avery

badp

Melting

Unionhawk

18:39

I never asked for this

SaintWacko

...lol?

Avery

AAAAAAAAAAAAAaa

> take me to your leader

Would jobs do this

Tim Stone

…Deeper pixels

Avery

WOULD JOBS DO THIS

fredley

1 min ago, by fredley

Would Steve Jobs have done a live demo with a pile of shit?

Tim Stone

18:41

I still can't get over that they haven't found a way of reducing the camera bulge

Avery

All apple employees should get a free bracelet with WWJD written on it

What Would Jobs Do

Unionhawk

I can't get over that they invented worse snapchat filters

djsmiley2k

if anyone cares i'm streaming zen pinball 2 on twitch...

fredley

Avery

@Unionhawk the dancing hotdog uses ARKit I think

Tim Stone

18:42

@Unionhawk I mean that's just a gimmick for their facial recognition technology that's stupid but predictable. The bulge, though, why the bulge?

SaintWacko

I will admit, their AR is amazing

Yuuki

@Unionhawk No no, Apple retroactively invented Snapchat filters. Snapchat just improved them.

fredley

Is the iPhone 10 a beauty product?

Unionhawk

What is going on

fredley

2 HOURS OF BATTERY

badp

18:43

@fredley was iPhone never a beauty product

Tim Stone

@Unionhawk Actually thinking of Snapchat, countdown to This is Fine-ing someone doing something horrible

Unionhawk

@TimStone I mean $SNAP is already a garbage pile

badp

Apple invented wireless watching

Again

Avery

I should buy $SNAP tomorrow

it'll go down a bit

Unionhawk

No you shouldn't

fredley

18:44

inb4 phone charges the watch

SaintWacko

I'm surprised he hasn't strained something from patting himself on the back so much

badp

You can put more than one thing on the same wireless charging thing

SaintWacko

...So they've invented a big wireless charging mat...

Avery

nice

Tim Stone

You think the iPhone doubles as a hot plate while on the charging mat?

badp

18:45

it's proprietary but they are going to make that a standard

SaintWacko

I'm about to strain my eyes from rolling them so much

fredley

@badp *Licence it

Unionhawk

@fredley Finally Apple invented provide power USB mode

Avery

> they all charge

badp

Oh good the Ive moment is here

The local projector can't deal with those basses

Avery

18:47

fredley

MAXIMUM OVER-BLACK-MIRROR

Avery

hahahaha pathetic

inb4 snap turns to a penny stock

badp

You get an ad for apple devices whenever you put things to charge

SaintWacko

Didn't Apple make a big deal a while back about how important the home button was?

When Android devices starting doing away with physical buttons

Avery

OK buy order placed

limit at 15

Unionhawk

18:48

@Avery since IPO it's down $9

Avery

let's see how much virtual money I'll lose

djsmiley2k

twitch.tv/djsmiley2k

So you don't have to watch apple crap

fredley

@SaintWacko Everything's shit until Apple invents it. Even shit emojis.

SaintWacko

@djsmiley2k But this is really good entertainment!

@fredley And the best part is people lap this stuff up

Avery

tfw all shown faces are white

Unionhawk

18:49

and have the last two quarters reported lower than expected earnings

fredley

@SaintWacko inb4 fastest selling iPhone ever

Yuuki

@Avery Apple hasn't invented non-white people yet.

Avery

@Yuuki soon

badp

The $1k price point is confirmed

Avery

> 999$

Yuuki

18:50

@Avery They'll probably start with rose gold people first.

Avery

nice

SaintWacko

Now he's just making up words

fredley

64 OR 256

wat

SaintWacko

No, that's what Apple did when Jobs was in charge

Now they are not just skating where the puck was, but just following other players around

Unionhawk

Some dude is already in line at apple store NY

I guarantee it

Avery

18:52

@Yuuki that or Product(RED) people

Unionhawk

Do we have live feed of that store?

@Unionhawk I lied IPO was $17

Tim Stone

@fredley Wonder what the premium is on that extra space

Unionhawk

It went all the way to like $35 and has since fallen to $15

Avery

nice

$SNAP is an easy way to waste money

dunno why anybody buys it

fredley

A11 BIONIC CHIP

Unionhawk

18:53

and has seen a downgrade by Morgan Stanley

from overweight to equal weight

fredley

@TimStone $200

SaintWacko

The one thing that's actually an innovation is their ARKit

Unionhawk

whatever that means

SaintWacko

That's actually quite impressive

fredley

tru

Unionhawk

18:54

I assume it means they expect it to stagnate around $16 forever

fredley

That guffaw!

It really is a cult isn't it

Tim Stone

@fredley So $1200 total, whew

SaintWacko

@fredley It totally is

That's what I'm saying

Their hardware isn't that impressive

fredley

Nope

SaintWacko

Their marketing team, thank goodness they were hired by Apple

I think they'd be running the world by this point if they were on their own

Avery

18:55

OMG

HE THANKED RETAIL

Unionhawk

You can get a 64 Pixel XL for $769

fredley

Avery

(I mean, I'm happy that retail is being recognized)

Yuuki

@fredley WELP

SaintWacko

@fredley That is the most downturned face I have ever seen

fredley

18:57

@SaintWacko IF ONLY WE COULD SEE THE ANIMOJI PILE OF SHIT VERSION

SaintWacko

@fredley You can, it's right next to him!

Unionhawk

OH SNAP

SaintWacko

inb4 moved to This is Fine

Fluttershy

@Unionhawk I can get a Galaxy Note8 for $480! Phone prices are getting crazy.

user15026

@Unionhawk that's more than a month's rent, I think that's insane

fredley

18:59

I was right, £150 for the space upgrade

christ

Unionhawk

@Ash Yeah and now iPhone is a thousand dollars

Kevin van der Velden

@Fluttershy I can get a galaxy note8 just by running really fast!

user15026

@Unionhawk jesus

Fluttershy

@KevinvanderVelden wat

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