The Bridge

Chippies

17:00

these were very small freelancing jobs, they are probably not even worth mentioning on the resume

GodEmperorDune

through generating profits or reducing expenses

you gotta put something

Chippies

I didn't improve their company, I just did something they didn't want to have a full time person for it

Jason Berkan

@GodEmperorDune Though not every task can be looked at with those metrics. I prefer just a description of what I did.

GodEmperorDune

@JasonBerkan not every task boils down to those metrics, but it's not like you are getting paid to keep a chair warm

Jason Berkan

@GodEmperorDune Hence the description of what I did.

GodEmperorDune

17:03

@JasonBerkan if you don't mind me asking, what job were you doing where it had no impact on the bottom line?

Jason Berkan

@GodEmperorDune Fixing bugs. Making a software change for legal requirements.

GnomeSlice

$20 nail clipping appt at the vet turned into $170

Probably for the best we had them look at the other stuff too though

GodEmperorDune

@JasonBerkan your work reduced the risk of legal liability. you're right that it doesn't contribute to costs/profits, but reducing potential costs is something to highlight as well

GnomeSlice

She has like an infected cyst or something on her neck that they shaved and clipped and drained and gave her an antibiotic injection

Jason Berkan

@GodEmperorDune People don't hire me based on my ability to reduce legal liability.

Rapitor

17:08

time for dose of cute.

Powerlord

@GodEmperorDune hands you my business card

See? It says "Professional Chair Warmer" right there

Jason Berkan

But @Powerlord works for the government. Chair warming is an art form there.

GodEmperorDune

i have abandoned my argument in favor of watching the kitten try to catch the wand

Chippies

for on of the contracts I had an excel file with one column of hyperlinked text with a number in parenthesis and I had to extract the hyperlinks, the number and the text and format it, how would I put that in more understandable words?

Powerlord

@JasonBerkan HEY! I do actual work!

GodEmperorDune

17:11

@Chippies extracted data from raw text

Powerlord

You know, like trying to work around a Stupid Oracle Bug(tm)

GnomeSlice

'Processing data'

Or that

Chippies

@GodEmperorDune that sounds good

@GnomeSlice processing data sounds good too, but more vague

Jason Berkan

@Powerlord In my experience, there ARE always people that work in the government. They are just, unfortunately, outnumbered by those that coast along.

Chippies

which is what I'm trying to avoid right now

Powerlord

17:12

Although I get to spend half of today at home waiting for the cable technician since they can't give you a smaller block of time than 4 hours

GodEmperorDune

and if you used excel formulas or regex or whatever to do it, put a high level of that too

"extracted data from raw text using excel MATCH formulas" or something

Chippies

@GodEmperorDune I actually used macros and regex, although I'm sure that was very inefficient

Jason Berkan

I had a government employee on one of my projects that refused to have any work assigned to him for the two weeks leading up to his holidays and one week after his holidays because he was in "vacation mode".

Chippies

> Extracted data from raw text using regex and macros

how does that sound?

GnomeSlice

Good

GodEmperorDune

17:15

@Chippies regex will work for technical people, regular expressions would be better for non technical, but good overall

Chippies

@GodEmperorDune Yep! Replacing regex with regular expressions :)

Jason Berkan

@Chippies Bonus points if you do that with a regex.

Chippies

@JasonBerkan put on the resume that I edited my resume with regex? Anything for bonus points!

for another contract (with the same company) I had urls and keywords in separate columns and I had to format them into one column like url {key1|key2|key3}

would that be data processing from raw text again?

3 out of 4 freelance things I did was pretty much just that...

GodEmperorDune

@Chippies that is closer to "formatting text from raw data", but my phrasing is a bit awkward

Chippies

the contract was titled "excel spreadsheet manipulation - find/replace", but that's not very descriptive, is it?

GodEmperorDune

17:24

@Chippies no it's not

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: Minecraft /Testfor players using Items

I am Trying to create a Hydration system for my minecraft adventure map that displays Hydration levels on the scoreboard. To restore the players Hydration a player should need to drink a water bottle and so I figured this command would do the trick '/testfor @p {stat.useItem:373} However I recie...

minecraft

1

Q: What does "passive mode" actually do?

Grand Theft Auto Online has a passive mode which seems to make you semi transparent to other players and prevent you from arming a weapon but doesn't prevent you from driving over people and seems to have conflicting guidance about it's functionality on various sites. What exactly does "passive...

gta-online

badp

17:45

@GodEmperorDune show me the cool stuff you've done with Excel and I'll immediately discard your CV if you have done any of it at 15 or older

Chippies

Note to self: Do not apply for job with @badp

GodEmperorDune

@badp the best way to describe it would be "fun with vlookup"

badp

I have done "cool stuff with Excel" and it's probably my lifetime's most successful and long lasting project yet and I'm super ashamed of it

Please apply fire to it

GodEmperorDune

run some sql, paste the returned records into a specific sheet, refresh other sheets and done

badp

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED :P

GodEmperorDune

17:50

this was a metadata tool for a proprietary database that we had access to but no control over the the structure of

Unionhawk

I'm alive. No rep for you @KevinvanderVelden

badp

(yes said project of mine also worked on SAP dumps)

Kevin van der Velden

@Unionhawk Boooo

Oh wait no, yay!

GodEmperorDune

so the formulas constructed appropriate sql for those unfamiliar with the structure to be able to get to the data they needed

badp

The part I'm the most ashamed of is how I lock access to a couple features through a "login prompt" that "validates" your "password" with a "custom reversible obfuscation function" the results of which were "securely stored" in a VeryHidden sheet of each individual file.

GodEmperorDune

17:52

also pivotcharts are very nice for getting management friendly reports very quickly

badp

Said function is built to be called from within Excel too, and the VeryHidden sheet has the relevant formulas already prepared for password changing purposes.

StrixVaria

18:21

Incremental

murgatroid99

I've been at work for over 2 hours, and I've spent almost the entire time editing old MTG posts on BCG

StrixVaria

@murgatroid99 It's Friday.

GnomeSlice

Oh is it?

Nice

murgatroid99

@StrixVaria and I'm halfway to getting the only Archaeologist badge ever awarded on that site

MBraedley

@Wipqozn changed his avatar again? He's the worst!

GodEmperorDune

18:29

@StrixVaria adventure capitalist but with monsters?

Wipqozn

@MBraedley Yes, yes I am.

Rapitor

and here is the Kickstarter... already obliterated goal

MBraedley

Turtle @Wipqozn is best @Wipqozn

Wipqozn

@Rapitor And absolutely no one has surprised

Arperum

People who are new here are never going to get all the turtle/@Wipqozn lore. It must be so confusing.

Wipqozn

18:33

Fans are still burned over nuts and botls

I know I am

user15026

@Wipqozn That game was so bad

StrixVaria

@GodEmperorDune Seems to be pretty much that, yes.

Wipqozn

Man, it's friday. I gotta get down.

GodEmperorDune

@Rapitor pounds? how dare they

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: sdlmame non responsive to joystick when manual compile

I am in a desperate situation.... I run gentoo Linux... If I emerge sdlmame-0.148_p1-r1, then sdlmame works with my xbox 360 controller(using xboxdrv) with no issues. But if I git clone sdlmame and compile it with a simple make....sdlmame is none responsive to the xbox controller. Yes, I made...

mame

fredley

18:39

@TimStone ...........................................................................

Tim Stone

Oh man, I didn't think I could be more full of rage today.

THANKS @FREDLEY

Feeds

fredley has removed Wipqozn from the list of this room's owners.

fredley

I didn't think it was possible to have a worse avatar than the one you had before

I was wrong

Tim Stone

@StackExchange That makes me feel slightly better, thank you

Wipqozn

This might be the first time I actually back a kickster.

fredley

18:41

@TimStone Do you want me to add him again so you can feel the restorative energy of WipqoznRemoval™?

Tim Stone

No, no, it's okay.

fredley

@Wipqozn slowpoke.jpg

Arperum

2 hours ago, by Arperum

@TimStone What. The. Fuck.

fredley

Apparently racism is quite a deep-seated problem in the US

@Wipqozn put your avatar back in DeviantArt where it belongs and returtle.

GodEmperorDune

ugh, i want the t shirt from the kickstarter, but moneys

Wipqozn

18:43

@fredley Well, what else do you expect when so many people commit the heinous crime of walking while black?

That's a crime in the USA, right?

Because it sure seems like it.

@fredley Never.

GodEmperorDune

@Wipqozn you don't need to be walking

StrixVaria

Why is @Wipqozn so terrible?

fredley

@Wipqozn Tineye's top match for it is captioned 'what a dork'

@StrixVaria Avatar

Wipqozn

@StrixVaria It's Kvothe

user15026

@fredley That...makes a surprising amount of sense

fredley

18:46

I'm angry and upset. I think I'm going to go and comfort eat for a bit.

Feeds

fredley has added Wipqozn to the list of this room's owners.

fredley has removed Wipqozn from the list of this room's owners.

user15026

@fredley offers a spoon and the 2L tub of ice cream she is consoling herself with

StrixVaria

@Wipqozn Kvothe is a character from a non-illustrated novel. If anything the fact that you're messing with my headcanon by saying that makes you worse.

fredley

@AshleyNunn Gives @AshleyNunn the large packet of Cherry Bakewells he was currently working through

user15026

@fredley Excellent.

user15026

18:48

Considering I just spent a lot of time on the phone being angry at teh government, I need all the consoling I can get

fredley

Phone anger worst anger :(

Arperum

@StrixVaria This.

fredley

I wonder how long a ban I should give @Wipqozn for this

user15026

@fredley I thought my EI claim was just taking forever to process because of all the jobs it entailed. NOPE. Turns out, when I went a month ago and was like "I was a contractor at place X so you won't get a record of employment" and the guy went "okay, I've fixed that", he just made a memo for someone to fix it later and no one did.

fredley

@AshleyNunn >.<

Wipqozn

18:50

@StrixVaria That does make the avatar al the more enjoyable.

fredley

@Wipqozn How about a 10 year ban

StrixVaria

@fredley A year.

fredley

That should do it

Wipqozn

@fredley Probably an infinite ban.

user15026

So I got a call from a gov't rep today being like "hello where is this form" and I was like "uh, no, wait" and the woman was like "where did you speak to someone" and I was like "in my city" and she was like "you are the 6th person today with this problem, we are so sorry, we will fix it today and you should hear by the end of next week, we are super sorry, and are going to look very closely at that entire office"

Rapitor

18:51

@Wipqozn see. nuts and bolts would've been a decent game if it didn't have the banjo kazooie crammed into it.

Jason Berkan

Did anyone else poke fun at the Canadian government earlier this week?

GodEmperorDune

@AshleyNunn government here does not apologize nearly that much

Jason Berkan

They sent out a reminder e-mail re: taxes and put the wrong date on it.

user15026

@GodEmperorDune She felt so bad

user15026

@JasonBerkan 5 extra days for filing!

user15026

18:53

(Although mine's been done for forever)

Jason Berkan

Yeah - they had to suck it up and give everyone five extra days to file their taxes.

MBraedley

@GodEmperorDune This is Canada after all...

user15026

If you needed more reasons to hate the world today, I've got another one.

Rapitor

@AshleyNunn today is a good day for hating everyone, apparently.

I've seen more "wtf government/people" today than i have in a while.

GodEmperorDune

@AshleyNunn it's a bit fuct if you ask me

user15026

18:58

@GodEmperorDune Get out.

Rapitor

Tim Stone

Oh come on...

Why do they have to prove that he's not missing the part of his brain that would provide the common sense to know that was dangerous?

Kevin van der Velden

@fredley wait what? Any idea why that guy is banned for that long?

GodEmperorDune

@KevinvanderVelden he convinced @Wipqozn to de-turtle his avatar

Kevin van der Velden

19:13

@GodEmperorDune aha! That makes sense

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: Is the Polished Silver Sword better or the Troll Bludgeon in Candy Box 2?

The sword has 7 attack power with medium attack speed, but the bludgeon has 12-16 attack power with slower attack speed.

candy-box-2

MBraedley

@TimStone Lasers are only dangerous if you're really close, obviously

Rapitor

@TimStone I give that guy credit for being that accurate with a laser pointer though... i mean.. that's pretty impressive

Tim Stone

@MBraedley Tell that to Alderaan.

GodEmperorDune

@TimStone vacuum is different from atmosphere, ofc

Tim Stone

19:24

+1 for the technicality

Rapitor

Besiege finally updated. oh goodie!

djsmiley2k

ahhhhhhhhhh wtf does dr fetus

Yuuki

MBraedley

@TimStone super lasers don't count

murgatroid99

@djsmiley2k are you asking what it does? it makes you shoot bombs instead of tears

Lazers 2.0

19:37

0

Q: What equipment do I need for the Alcoholism Program

I want to start the alcoholism program for my prisoners, but as you can see in the screenshot below it is flashing "NO EQUIPMENT". However, as far as I can tell I have everything I need. I have a psychiatrist, a common room and lots of chairs. What else do I need? (If the image is too small open ...

prison-architect

Rapitor

@Yuuki this is the appropriate response.

murgatroid99

@djsmiley2k Unless you're actually taking about Epic Fetus, which lets you move a crosshair that drops a missile after a short time

Yuuki

SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS 2, MAYBE.

PROBABLY.

cc @FAE, I guess, since she's the only one I know for fact has seen the movie.

Rapitor

hopefully going to see it tomorrow.

user15026

19:48

So this happened on a road near me

Tim Stone

Sleepy truck :(

Was @badp driving?

(I hope everyone was okay)

user15026

@TimStone As far as I know, everyone was okay, the 401 highway is just slow because there's a truck having a nap

Arperum

@Yuuki I'm fixing that tomorrow

Yuuki

@Rapitor @Arperum Yay, I want to talk about it but there's no one to talk about it with.

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: How to compete Unlock a hat objective

I am stuck at the objective unlock the hat. I am not sure exactly what should be done for the same. I collected the artifact of hat and wore it also but this objective is still not completed, is there problem with the game or something i am missing. Please help if someone has completed the un...

temple-run-2

Rapitor

19:57

there's only one theater in my town and it's not that great. so trying to get in opening weekend on any movie is a pain, even when it's one nobody really cares about

but we'll see. maybe luck is on my side

FAE

@Yuuki bwaha

Yuuki

@FAE Hi!

FAE

@Yuuki Hello!

user15026

@Yuuki I want to go see it, but no money. Maybe I have enough Scene points though

Chippies

Hey, @AshleyNunn, I don't want to bother you, but if you are bored and have absolutely nothing better to do, could you help me put some things into sentences? :P

user15026

20:08

@Chippies Sure! Where is easiest?

Chippies

wherever's best for you

Sterno

I have now seen Age of Ultron. BEHOLD

user15026

IRC seems the most stable atm

Chippies

sure

Wipqozn

@Sterno I should probably do that. Probably.

FAE

20:09

@Sterno Woo!

Sterno

@FAE The first minute of the movie had me really worried, as I hated the CGI. Then it all got okay after that.

Feeds

Sterno has added Wipqozn to the list of this room's owners.

Wipqozn has removed FAE from the list of this room's owners.

Yuuki

MCU Discussion

If you enter, you will be spoiled. Anything MCU is fair game ...

^ Age of Ultron spoilers, probably.

FAE

@StackExchange Sorry, was busy in the other room

Feeds

Sterno has added FAE to the list of this room's owners.

Feeds

20:33

FAE has removed Wipqozn from the list of this room's owners.

GodEmperorDune

20:54

@Sterno i read that as "be old"

GnomeSlice

SwapQuest is out on Google Play

cc @badp @AshleyNunn

review

user15026

@GnomeSlice I totally picked that up this morning :D

user15026

I love it

FAE

@GnomeSlice Oooh, this looks neat

user15026

@FAE It's really fun, and free to start so you can decide if you like it before paying for it :)

FAE

21:12

@AshleyNunn What kind of IAP is there?

Or is it a gated demo type thing?

user15026

@FAE Gated demo - you can buy in-game currency but there's really no need.

FAE

@AshleyNunn Gotcha, thanks for the info!

user15026

So you play a few levels, pay your $1.99 for the rest of the game if you like, and then can buy the gems you get in game if you feel you need them but really, I've not seen a real need to

TheAce

word up everyone

Lazers 2.0

21:49

0

Q: Is resources stay with you between levels?

If yes, do they stay as is? Or is there some special restrictions?

dungeon-of-the-endless

0

Q: What do I do next in terraria?

Okay in terraria I have no idea what to do next I cant kill the WoF and I have necro armour and fiery great sword what now?

terraria-console

0

Q: How do I cancel Erron Black's Put Em Up into his command throw?

How do I cancel Erron Black's Put Em Up into his command throw? Everytime I do the 21122 and attempt the command throw in the end it's either a missed tarkatan stab or an uppercut.

mortal-kombat-x

Lazers 2.0

22:15

0

Q: Does room.find return objects in nearest order?

Does room.find return found objects in nearest order? If so, I think it should probably be added to the documentation. Thanks in advance.

screeps

Frank

22:49

Okay, I'm liking the Flash.

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: Can't get the merchant to spawn in terraria

Well for the first time I got 50 silver coins I didn't have a house prepared for him and this weird timer came up so I went to my spawn just the guide in his house so a few days later I make a house for him get 50 silver coins no sign of him do I have to make a new world or should I just wait I'v...

terraria

murgatroid99

I just earned the first Archaeologist badge on BCG. And I got the Excavator badge 4 days ago

badp

@AshleyNunn was that right after a turn?

Engine limiter + turns are my trademark way for happy fun truck naptimes.

Wipqozn

@Yuuki You're welcome.

badp

The truck just NOPEs right to sleep

130 to NOPE in 3 seconds

Lazers 2.0

22:58

0

Q: My friends cant connect to LAN with me?

My internet's fine, it cant be my computer because its usually fine, but they can't seem to connect. I can't connect to theirs either.

minecraft

badp

23:12

feross.org/html5-fullscreen-api-attack

Tim Stone

Heh, that's clever

Not entirely subtle though :P

But that would trip a reasonable number of people up regardless, I'm sure

murgatroid99

@TimStone the article seems to indicate that it works better in other browsers

> Safari shows a quick half-second animation, then no indication at all that the browser is in fullscreen mode

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: Kombat Pack on the wrong account

My little brother who shares an xbox one with me used our kombat pack code on his silver account instead of my gold one. Now I can't see the upcoming dlc characters in the roster or use the samurai skins that came out. Does this mean I can't use the new characters without spending another $30?

xbox mortal-kombat-x

Frank

23:29

@Lazers2.0 Ooh, ouch.

Wipqozn

annnnnd I just backed my first kickstarter

I doubt I'll ever kickstart anything ever again

but a team of Rare veterens trying to relive the glory days? I'll back that.

GnomeSlice

Yeah that looks pretty promising

Frank

@Wipqozn Watch it get mired in mismanagement and unresponsive communication.

Wipqozn

@Frank No ssshhhh

Sssshhhhh

GnomeSlice

That's a positive way to look at it

Wipqozn

23:31

Sssshhhh

@GnomeSlice That ssshh was directed at @Franklin

GnomeSlice

So was mine

My message

Frank

@Wipqozn This doesn't ping me, by the way.

GnomeSlice

I downloaded the demo for this a while ago and was pretty disappointed in the polish level:

Clive 'N' Wrench - 3D Platformer - Playable Alpha Demo Launch Trailer

►

Yooka-Laylee already looks much more polished.

Frank

Uh.

0

Q: What is the first game with online matchmaking by player rating/skill?

My friend here is playing Mortal Kombat X and wonders which game was the first to feature online multiplayer sessions that automatically match players with similar performance rating. Such rating is usually comprised of multiple statistics like the speed of completing tasks, hit/miss ratio, tota...

gaming-history

That's very clearly one of our close reasons.

> Questions asking for help identifying a game, whether based on a description, or feature list, or any other set of criteria (i.e. "What was the first game to…") are off-topic;

I'm not sure why the close review got three Leave Open votes.

murgatroid99

23:50

Maybe people didn't read the close reason carefully

This isn't exactly the case we normally use that close reason for

Frank

@murgatroid99 True.

Also, this needs a rather large number of delete votes as well.

3ventic

Youtube's #10YearsOfYoutube playlist

GnomeSlice

@Frank It's already closed, it will get deleted.

murgatroid99

@3ventic I should have read that URL more carefully

3ventic

It is the playlist though

GnomeSlice

23:55

1

Q: Kombat Pack on the wrong account

My little brother who shares an xbox one with me used our kombat pack code on his silver account instead of my gold one. Now I can't see the upcoming dlc characters in the roster or use the samurai skins that came out. Does this mean I can't use the new characters without spending another $30?

xbox mortal-kombat-x

Poor bastard

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: Can't Bribe Ultima Weapon?

I'm on the PS3 version of Final Fantasy X Remastered, and I cannot bribe Ultima Weapon T.T When I bribe him it pops up the "Immune" response. I've tried with the North American bribe of 1,400,000 and the International bribe of 1,999,980, Ultimo Weapon just keeps saying "Immune". Is this a bug?

final-fantasy-10

MCU Discussion

Transcript for