The Bridge

Unionhawk

11:05

1 hour later fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu which one of you let me make this decision

I demand answers

5pike

You should know by now that the bridge is fuelled by failure and misery (and other things).

fredley

@Unionhawk What are you doing?

Unionhawk

Staring at a blank powerpoint trying to figure out how I can stretch my opinion on free speech to 15 slides

5pike

Oh boy...

Unionhawk

Good times

StrixVaria

11:12

@Unionhawk This skill is going to be super important once you finish school.

Unionhawk

Yep

(sarcasm or no, this does fall in the "putting up with bullshit" category of useful things)

fredley

@Unionhawk Protip: Animate everything. Add sounds.

Wipqozn

@GnomeSlice Awesome possum

Matt E. Эллен

@Unionhawk up to five words per slide.

Wipqozn

@Unionhawk slide counts are easy. You just have very short slides. Make each slidei it's own talking point, don't put multiple points in on slide, and have some slides just be a picture (aka charts)

Grab an example of a place with little free speech, and have some slides talk about the points against your position and why they're wrong.

Unionhawk

11:25

Except for me free speech boils down to "Do you have a brain? (y/n) (if yes, I don't need to explain this to you, if no, I don't want to talk to you)"

I'm working things out. I've got like 5 hours #famouslastwords

Wipqozn

@Unionhawk Should there be any limits on speech?

For example, should hate speech be restricted?

Oh, and don't forget to shout your opinion.

that's very important

Loud = right

Quiet = wrong

Unionhawk

Yep

Wipqozn

Swear a lot too

Unionhawk

"I think" = NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK

Wipqozn

Your Mom = Burn

OH BUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN

Make sure to mention you know me too, and include a picture of me in the presentation.

Lazers

11:58

-1

Q: Which NFS TITLES CAN I PLAY ON MY PC?

I am a huge nfs fan. I recently upgraded my system. I want to know which NFS games are good for my pc. My Pc specs are as follows: Processor: core 2 duo 2.97 ghz RAM: 2 * 2GB DDR3 HDD: 500 GB Motherboard: G41 GRaphics: Nvidia geforce EN210 1GB. Any suggestions will be appreciated. Thanks in A...

Unionhawk

9

Arperum

@Unionhawk use charlie hebdo comics for a slide, use one of those muhamed cartoons from some years back that stirred up death threats and such. There, two more slides + a slide explaining both situations -> 4 extra slides.

Last slide: "thank you for attention."

Matt E. Эллен

@Unionhawk rofl

Arperum

I already got half the required slides in two minutes.

Wipqozn

@Unionhawk I get it. That's funny.

Matt E. Эллен

12:05

I would write slides explaining why free speech is so bad.

5pike

@Unionhawk No wonder the cat pushes the glass down. He didn't explain why it was bad.

...

"was bad" or "is bad"...

Unionhawk

My position on this thing is making no sense in my head. Why we're discussing what the first amendment should mean also doesn't make sense to me because there are dozens of legal precedents pointing to a letter-of-the-law interpretation of the thing from a legal standpoint, anyway.

This is stupid

asdf

Wipqozn

@OrigamiRobot: There's a bot on Reddit that posts random facts about Sloths whenever someone mentions "sloth" in their post. I suspect the person who wrote this bot is your arch-nemesis.

Arperum

12:20

@Wipqozn I'm assuming it is you.

Wipqozn

@Arperum nah, @OrigamiRobot are basically brothers.

BLOOD BROTHERS

Unionhawk

Oh right, freedom of association is a thing, and the locus of the whole BSA membership policy crap

Private Pansy

I think this is the second time in two weeks I've not had to do overtime

fredley

12:35

@Arperum "Questions?"

Arperum

@fredley One more slide!

Unionhawk

No fuck that I'm not answering follow up questions.

Lazers

0

Q: Fifa 15 Pro Clubs in offline?

I want to improve my virtual pro.So i want play offline.But i cant play in offline career mode or something.Is there any way for that?Or is there any way for quickly improve my virtual pro?

fifa-15

Arperum

@Unionhawk One less slide!

Unionhawk

We've got 10 people giving basically the same goddamn presentation

Today

5pike

12:37

...

Why? Seems totally useless.

Wipqozn

@Unionhawk I take it this is a communication class?

Unionhawk

Ethics, so close enough

5pike

ಠ_ಠ

Wipqozn

@Unionhawk You should just swear at the teacher for 10 minutes, and when he tells you to stop, just yell "FREEEE SPEEEEEEECH"

Unionhawk

You know and I know that's not how free speech works

Wipqozn

12:41

@Unionhawk We do, but a lot of people don't!

Delete my question?

MA FREEEE SPEEEEECH

Kevin van der Velden

Just make a slideshow out of @badp's I'M BEING OPRESSED form

Unionhawk

Sadly

Wipqozn

Kill my entire family?

MY FREEEEEC SPEEEEECH

@KevinvanderVelden This is best idea.

Cite your source as "Dr. @Badp, Ph.D in Mod Abuse"

Unionhawk

Technically I think he can use the title "Dr." in italy anyway

fredley

I. Want. This. House.

Kevin van der Velden

12:43

@fredley Ooooh

5pike

@fredley hot damn, that's nice

fredley

This house has seriously altered what I want out of life

In that the thing I most desire is now this house

I don't even care if in 10 years the tree has grown and the house is unsafe. I can't think of a better way to spend 10 years than in this house.

Wipqozn

@fredley What about living in slightly larger version of this house?

fredley

@Wipqozn Size isn't everything.

2

It's big enough

3

Kevin van der Velden

I dunno, it needs room for at least a 10 person LAN party

Wipqozn

12:46

@fredley Sure. SUUUUURE.

that's exactly the kind of thing someone with a small house would say

fredley

@Wipqozn Would you rather have a bigger one then?

@Wipqozn My actual house is barely larger than a shoebox. Yay London.

Wipqozn

@fredley Now you're just baiting for stars.

@fredley That sounds terrible.

fredley

@Wipqozn It's not star baiting if you're actually starred.

Wipqozn

Especially if taken literally.

fredley

@Wipqozn 500 sqft, 2 bed flat. Spare room occupied by lodger.

Kevin van der Velden

12:48

What's a lodger?

Wipqozn

@KevinvanderVelden room mate, basically

fredley

@KevinvanderVelden Someone who lodges.

Kevin van der Velden

Aah

Wipqozn

Except more British

Kevin van der Velden

Brits are weird.

Wipqozn

12:49

Source: Doctor Who

fredley

@Wipqozn Flat mate, technically. We don't share a room.

Wipqozn

@KevinvanderVelden Agreed.

@fredley OH BUUUURRRRNNNN

fredley

And lodger implies we own the place and she's paying us, rather than we're all renting together.

Wipqozn

YES

SORRY FOR NOT GOING INTO ALL THE DETAILS, GOD

GOOODOAODOWADAWODOzeus

I can't even handle all this.

fredley

@Wipqozn @fredley will suffice

Kevin van der Velden

12:50

YOU FAILED US @Wipqozn. YOU'RE A FAILURE

Wipqozn

@Unionhawk, handle all this for me.

@KevinvanderVelden I'm not @Unionhawk

Kevin van der Velden

@Wipqozn true true. You're a failure.

Unionhawk

@Wipqozn Nope

Kevin van der Velden

Not capital FAILURE

fredley

You Americans are terrible at speaking English. You need to be taught.

Unionhawk

12:51

@fredley NO U

Wipqozn

@fredley I concur

fredley

*dons teacher outfit*

Wipqozn

They spell colour without a u! The barbarians.

fredley

@Wipqozn I think you'll find you're the barbarians

Unionhawk

@Wipqozn councur*

fredley

12:52

@Unionhawk concour*

Matt E. Эллен

Uniounhawke*

Unionhawk

@Wipqouzn

Kevin van der Velden

@MattE.Эллен @Wrong

fredley

@MattE.Эллен Unionjacke*

Matt E. Эллен

lol

Unionhawk

12:53

4 mins ago, by Kevin van der Velden

Brits are weird.

QED

Matt E. Эллен

@KevinvanderVelden says the man with most letters in his name :D

Wipqozn

@Unionhawk I get it. That's founny.

Kevin van der Velden

@MattE.Эллен no no, I'm just saying the correct way to write @Uni's name is @Wrong

Unionhawk

@KevinvanderVelden This is demonstrably incorrect

Matt E. Эллен

@KevinvanderVelden oh! I see. sorry, that does make sense :D

fredley

12:54

@Unionhawk Brits are a subset of people, and it's well known that people are weird. I don't get the point you're trying to make.

Wipqozn

@GnomieBear

Yuuki

@Unionhawk As are you.

Wipqozn

@fredley I think @Unionhawk hates English-speaking people.

fredley

@KevinvanderVelden The correct way to write @Uni is @Uni. Or possibly @uni. Either is fine.

Kevin van der Velden

@Unionhawk well it pinged you didn't it?

Unionhawk

12:55

@KevinvanderVelden Nope

fredley

brb, modabusing @uni to @wrong

Unionhawk

Goddammit bridge shut your collective face

Kevin van der Velden

@Unionhawk Sure it does, @wrong pings you. See?

Wipqozn

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. It's in the function

Currently working in our most important, and also most horrifying, file in the entire company.

Kevin van der Velden

QUICK. DELETE IT

Wipqozn

12:57

If this file breaks then all of our sites stop getting content.

Kevin van der Velden

Oooh

Wipqozn

I'm obviously not working on the live file, but updating this thing is crazy, since it's huge and a giant mess.

There are so many things we needed to add since are reporters refuse to follow a standard process.

Kevin van der Velden

Pfff, live testing is the only way to test

Rapitor

@Unionhawk hah!

Wipqozn

It's the worst.

@KevinvanderVelden True

Matt E. Эллен

12:58

lava testing, i.e. throwning everything into a volcano, has its merits

Kevin van der Velden

True, it is a viable alternative, but all the sacrifices to the volcano are just a hassle

Wipqozn

wait,maybe it wasn't

fuck

I blame @Unionhawk

Rapitor

@Unionhawk is that Rooster teeth Michael?

Wipqozn

Now I'm just sad

TYPE: userSimpleXMLElement Object

that's not the type at all!

Bloody jerk script.

oh wait, yes it is

NEVER MIND EVERYONE! CRISIS OVER!

Unionhawk

@Rapitor no idea

I'm thinking breakfast and copious amounts of caffeine are in order to finish this shit up

Wipqozn

13:13

oh of course

It's not working because IT didn't format the xml properly

because IT

Unionhawk

lol

Wipqozn

The important thing is that we need to work with this, because IT probably won't know how to change the output that newsgte shoots out.

because IT

Unionhawk

Yeeeeeep, caffeine is in order. @UNI AWAY

falls on face

zzz

Lazers

-1

Q: Name of game boy game with bridges

I am searching for a Game Boy game which consisted of the user changing the position of a bridge (which if I remember correctly looked more like a block). There were pathways (looked somehow like pipes?) and there were characters walking on them. When you placed the bridge the character used the ...

game-boy

Wipqozn

13:28

@SimpleBob: Sounds similar to the Mario vs Donkey Kong Series

Mario vs. Donkey Kong (series)

The Mario vs. Donkey Kong (マリオVSドンキーコング, Mario tai Donkī Kongu) (known as Mario and Donkey Kong (マリオ＆ドンキーコング, Mario & Donkī Kongu) in Mario and Donkey Kong: Minis on the Move) is a sub-series of the Mario and the Donkey Kong series, based on puzzle video game making the return of Donkey Kong and Pauline rivalry with Mario. Mario vs. Donkey Kong, released in 2004 for the Game Boy Advance, was followed by March of the Minis for the Nintendo DS, Minis March Again on DSiWare, Mini-Land Mayhem in 2010 for the DS, and Minis on the Move for the Nintendo 3DS in 2013. == Synopsis == == History =...

Arperum

Joy. Flat tire.

Wipqozn

Also, lemmings.

@Arperum that doesn't sound very joyful at all. In fact that sound downright terrible.

Arperum

It is.

fredley

13:40

@Arperum Flat tire on what?

Arperum

My car.

I replaced it with the extra one. Now tot call the garage for getting a new spare wheel.

fredley

Australia now part of Europe

Rapitor

14:01

fat gopher

Yuuki

Interactive easy-to-understand guide for system transfer with the N3DS.

Also, the only one I've seen that explains what to do if you're already using a microSD card in your regular 3DS.

Rapitor

@Yuuki does the N3DS come with any internal storage or sd?

Yuuki

@Rapitor It uses a microSD card.

It comes with a 4G one, IIRC.

Rapitor

doesn't answer question.

ok

no internal?

Yuuki

I bought a 32G for 50% off.

@Rapitor I don't think so.

StrixVaria

14:07

@Wipqozn I'm like 15-20% into Warbreaker and it's really good so far.

Yuuki

Why would you need a dedicated internal storage anyways?

Rapitor

if there's internal i don't have to worry about an SD or things. like on my XB1 I use the internal for apps and non-games and the external for all my games, so bringing to friends' is easy

now this is podracing

Unionhawk

Presentation bullshit meter: [-------------0 ]

StrixVaria

@Unionhawk You're not done until it's [-------------]---0

Unionhawk

You're right I'm not done. It's sitting at 11 slides

StrixVaria

14:19

The solution is clipart

I have never seen a single professional power point without clipart (actually being serious).

Unionhawk

I've got to either expand a couple things across multiple slides or add some stuff

Rapitor

don't forget them fancy transitions and animations

StrixVaria

Rapitor

assassins, the word your looking for is assassins.

Yuuki

@Rapitor My looking for is assassins?

Unionhawk

14:21

Just put "Sample Text" in all the rest of the slides. Boom.

Rapitor

@Yuuki :|

is youtube crapped out for anyone else?

Unionhawk

Seems up to me

Rapitor

search returns 0 results on anything

SaintWacko

@Unionhawk Fill them with Lorem Ipsum

Unionhawk

@SaintWacko No, just, like, a plain wordart "Sample Text"

Or your xXxCallOfDutyxXx style "Sample Text"

@Rapitor status-norepro

At least I have an argument.

Rapitor

14:26

Unionhawk

(which is literally "The government can't technically tell people they can't speak in most cases, but we as individuals sure as fuck can.")

StrixVaria

@Unionhawk You could fill a slide with nonsense as an example of free speech.

Yuuki

@Rapitor It's working fine for me.

Rapitor

hm... what the hell

Unionhawk

Or just grab a meta post on "free speech" (if you don't know which one I'm talking about, it's very lowly voted)

And point out why that's wrong

StrixVaria

14:28

@Unionhawk The one where the guy loses his shit over having "thanks" edited out of his questions?

Unionhawk

Not the one in particular I had in mind but sure

Similar case

SaintWacko

Free speech meta posts are the best

fredley

@Yuuki postman ftw

Unionhawk

In fact, any negatively scored meta question matching "free speech" probably fits the description

Yuuki

@Unionhawk I think that gif leaves out the first few seconds where the cat also pushes the remote off the table.

fredley

14:32

US can't even do paper properly

Sterno

Wait, is there meta drama? Where?

Unionhawk

@Sterno No

Not active anyway

Sterno

I am so disappointed.

Unionhawk

Good

My work here is done

Rapitor

@Sterno lifehacks

Sterno

14:33

@fredley Whoever hosts that page can't do it properly. It's loading so slow. So very, very slow.

Unionhawk

Doesn't even count

Frank

Poor @Sterno. He lives for drama.

Unionhawk

@Sterno It finally loaded just as I decided "fuck it, I don't care close tab"

3

Yuuki

@Frank I thought he lived off drama.

fredley

@Sterno webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://…

@Unionhawk But it's about how you're wrong

Frank

14:34

@Yuuki Can't he do both?

Yuuki

Like if the Bridge stopped having arguments from now until the end of time, @Sterno would just starve.

Sterno

Actually, there hasn't been much argument here or on Meta in ages

Pretty much, it's all your fault that I ever visited Lifehacks in the first place. I was starving.

Unionhawk

DAYS SINCE LAST DRAMA: shut up @Sterno you'll jinx it

@fredley Cool. Don't care.

Sterno

Okay, I hereby blame the entire Netherlands for that webpage failing to load in a timely manner.

fredley

@Sterno webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://…

Sterno

14:37

(even though the hiccup seems to be on the US side)

@fredley CBA

StrixVaria

@fredley I have no particular allegiance to one paper size. I use 8.5"x11" because that's what is sold here.

Sterno

I'm busy bitching about page speeds, here!

fredley

Why does nobody want to read about how wrong they are?

Unionhawk

Because nobody cares

Literally nobody

StrixVaria

The USA beat England in a war over 200 years ago therefore @fredley is wrong.

6

Unionhawk

14:38

@StrixVaria Blanket statement

Sterno

Plus, you sound funny.

Unionhawk

Hrm...

HRM

Matt E. Эллен

HMRC

Sterno

Well, I'm convinced. I'll go burn all the 8.5 x 11 paper in my office

Matt E. Эллен

to melt all the snow?

fredley

14:40

@StrixVaria Meanwhile

Sterno

The building would probably eventually catch fire and then, yeah, there might be some melting snow

Frank

We got something like six inches of snow yesterday. In near blizzard conditions.

My car looks like I ran it through a snow bank.

Sterno

Did you run your car through a snow bank?

Frank

@Sterno Sadly, no.

Sterno

Then are you sure it doesn't just look like it received 6 inches of snow in blizzard conditions?

Frank

14:41

That would have been pretty awesome.

Lazers

-2

Q: Dark Souls - to FAQ or not to FAQ?

I came late to Dark Souls, and was aware of its fearsome reputation. So I told myself I'd cover the first few hours with the help of a guide, just to learn the ropes and get myself acclimatised. Doing so lead to mention of the Drake Sword, supposedly a big boost for beginners, so I stuck with FA...

dark-souls

Frank

@Sterno When the entire thing is covered in snow and ice, how it happened is sorta irrelevant.

Sterno

How does that even happen?

Kevin van der Velden

@fredley huh, I didn't know A0 has a surface area of 1 square meter

Frank

@Sterno By doing it wrong.

fredley

14:43

@KevinvanderVelden That's because we're doing it the Right™ way

Kevin van der Velden

@fredley the 2^0.5 ratio definitely is

Sterno

Guys, I've been giving it some thought, and I've decided Keanu Reeves is underrated as an actor.

Rapitor

it doesn't matter how right it is, 'Murica hates change

Frank

@Sterno You're just trying to generate drama again.

Sterno

@Rapitor Everyone hates change

fredley

14:46

@MattE.Эллен *shudders*

Sterno

@Frank No, really!

Frank

@Sterno I'm wise to your ways! I'm going to be smart about it today...and agree with you!

Unionhawk

11 mins ago, by Unionhawk

DAYS SINCE LAST DRAMA: shut up @Sterno you'll jinx it

Sterno

The man can't emote for shit, but a lot of his films are fun to watch.

Unionhawk

VTC @Sterno as Not Constructive

Matt E. Эллен

14:49

@fredley aye. a fearful bunch

Yuuki

John Wick was pretty great.

Sterno

@Yuuki I'm watching it right now

Yuuki

I'm a bit suspicious of Knock Knock though.

5pike

@Yuuki It's pretty much the perfect role for him.

Sterno

I really liked Constantine too. I appear to be mostly alone in that.

StrixVaria

14:50

@Sterno I also really liked that movie.

5pike

Haven't seen that one in ages. I can remember liking it, though.

Sterno

Did the TV series for that ever come out, and/or does it suck?

Kevin van der Velden

There's one out

I've started watching it last week or so

So far it's pretty good

StrixVaria

On that note: Does the TV series for 12 Monkeys suck as much as I expect it to?

Sterno

@StrixVaria I've been enjoying it. It's actually surprisingly good for something SyFy is putting out

But I'm a sucker for time travel

So far they haven't seemed to fuck it up too bad

StrixVaria

14:52

I'm afraid to watch it because I liked the movie so much.

Unionhawk

Apparently it's not terrible, but I've not seen it

Yuuki

Because this wasn't starred...

Sterno

Other than the basic premise, it doesn't have much in common with the movie

Yuuki

Headline: "Jon Stewart Pulls Out of Comedy Central and Finishes."

Sterno

(plague in the future, go back in time to prevent it)

StrixVaria

14:53

@Sterno That's probably for the best.

Unionhawk

@Yuuki ...

Sterno

Seriously though, it's had decent special effects and acting and it's doing stuff where clearly the main character is interacting with characters that have met him later in his own timeline, and basically they're making good use of the time travel concept without treating the audience like idiots

So far. I think it's only 4 eps so far

Yuuki

@Unionhawk You know that's a joke about the innuendo-laden title cards running gag, right?

Sterno

I can say for sure that the pilot is fairly representative of the episodes that followed, so if you like or don't like the pilot, that'll probably be enough to give you an idea

Frank

@Sterno Time travel, you say?

Might be worth checking out.

Sterno

14:58

This indicates to me that you have never seem the film 12 Monkeys. You should.

5pike

I was way to young when I first saw it. Didn't get what was going on.

Frank

@Sterno I certainly have not.

StrixVaria

@Frank Fix this.

Sterno

You're both dead to me.

StrixVaria

@Sterno I will check out the show whenever it makes its way to Netflix.

Frank

14:59

@Sterno Oh, so status-as-usual. Got it.

Transcript for