The Periodic Table

LordStryker

14:53

my dissertation is due in a week. AAAUUUUGHHH!!!

Hippalectryon

@LordStryker what is it about ?

LordStryker

15:13

@Hippalectryon characterizing non-covalent interactions and reaction pathways with electronic structure theory :-/

Hippalectryon

Sounds trivial :P @LordStryker

LordStryker

you think so??

*sigh

I don't know how to come up with a catchier title...

"INTERACTIONS, REACTIONS, and ELECTRONIC STRUCTURE THEORY: OH MY!"

Hippalectryon

I'm just teasing you :D hence the smiley

LordStryker

"INTERACTIONS, REACTIONS, UNICORNS, AND ELECTRONIC STRUCTURE THEORY: WHICH ONE WILL WE NOT BE TALKING ABOUT BUT REALLY WISH WE COULD?"

Hippalectryon

Hmm..... i'm not sure which one :P

LordStryker

15:19

"INTERACTIONS, REACTIONS, UNICORNS, AND ELECTRONIC STRUCTURE THEORY: WHICH ONE WILL WE NOT BE TALKING ABOUT BUT REALLY WISH WE COULD? AN INTRODUCTION INTO THINGS THAT MAY SEEM LIKE SCIENCE-FICTION BUT I PROMISE ITS NOT."

2

its not truly quantum if there wasn't some hand-waving involved :P

I suck at creative writing. :-\

Hippalectryon

Lol

LordStryker

There goes my alternative career dream.

Hippalectryon

You can still try working on the chemistry of jelly unicorns

LordStryker

I'm sure the NSF would just eat that grant proposal right up!.

Hippalectryon

nsf ?

LordStryker

15:22

National Science Foundation (USA)

Hippalectryon

Oh :D

Dissenter

17:38

What is taking organic chem II and analytical chem in one semester like?

Possible?

I think I have a fairly good grasp at least on the analytical equilibria part of analytical chem; not too sure about the statistics part lol

LordStryker

17:51

@Dissenter It is very possible but also very dependent on the person attempting to do so.

OChem II kicked my butt but I found analytic to be rather straightforward, relatively speaking.

If both kicked my butt, I would never take them together.

Greg E.

18:47

@Dissenter, it's definitely humanly possible. R. B. Woodward only took one year earning his doctorate from MIT, which I'd categorize as a non-trivial and relatively more difficult task.

LordStryker

@GregE. Well if you put it into that perspective...!

We put a man on the MOON! We sure as hell can put a man through OChem II and Analytic Chem. in the same semester!

Greg E.

What can I say, I'm a professional hyperbolist.

I go for the monumental over the mundane examples.

LordStryker

Unfortunately @Dissenter never specified the desired outcome. I could take a dozen chemistry classes in a semester.

Greg E.

Good point.

As scientist we mustn't make assumptions.

LordStryker

If the desired outcome was to become a raging alcoholic, I would imagine that taking a dozen chemistry classes in a semester would prove very fruitful.

Greg E.

18:53

And our axiomatic foundations must be clear!

LordStryker

@GregE. As a computational chemist, I make assumptions all the freakin' time.

Greg E.

Yes, but if that were the goal, I'd just forgo chemistry in favor of the literary criticism track.

Alcoholism is their one great hallmark.

LordStryker

@GregE. I'd just get married. Its simpler but not necessarily easier.

Greg E.

What if it ended up being a happy one?

Oh wait, sorry, ridiculous.

LordStryker

@GregE. LOL

@GregE. You had me going there for a second...

Greg E.

18:55

I couldn't even keep that one going.

LordStryker

I wonder how long a good diss. in my field is if you omit the Appendix.

Greg E.

Interesting question. I would imagine they're more than just slightly shorter.

LordStryker

Hmmm, someone did a stat analysis of chemistry dissertations. Looks like they may range from ~100-300 pages. But they make no note of including appendices or not.

beckmw.wordpress.com/2014/07/15/…

Greg E.

Good thing they organized the data according to major; I was thinking that just as I clicked the link.

I must say, I'm not even remotely surprised that medicinal chemistry tops the list.

LordStryker

Well, as it stands, minus all appendices and supporting info, my diss is sitting at about 172 pages, but since I've still got about 3 chapters left, it will be approaching 200 pages.

Greg E.

19:05

Sounds highly respectable.

LordStryker

with all the extras, it'll be approaching 300 pgs.

but thats all dbl spaced.

i wonder if I bump this down to single spacing.

compiling

converting ps to pdf

Greg E.

OMG THE SUSPENSE.

LordStryker

length: 116, with-appendix: 204

Greg E.

Wow, although that sounds pretty huge, I also have no idea what to compare that to.

I'd imagine that's fairly typical given the amount of references and data citations, etc. you'd have to be using.

LordStryker

:-/ yeah

I have virtually zero guidance on how to write this thing lol

I'm just trying to go by what others in this group has done before (as far as syntax, style, etc.)

Greg E.

19:10

That sounds like a logical approach.

LordStryker

The person who graduated before me with their PhD had a dissertation that was only 74 pages long.

133 with appendix

so, I'd imagine that I'm doing 'okay'

as far as length goes. this completely (and conveniently) disregards things like content, efficiency, etc.

kind of like physics. they omit friction and assume a vacuum.

Greg E.

Yes, but metrics are so much cleaner when you "control" for the confounding variables.

LordStryker

@GregE. Indeed.

Greg E.

Anyway, human beings are instinctively impressed by immensity, so, ceteris paribus, I think you win.

LordStryker

Maybe I should print it in... 72 pt. font on giant rolls of poster paper!

That'll REALLY impress somebody!

Greg E.

19:16

Yes, probably the Kinko's guy most of all.

LordStryker

See how large and relatively inconvenient my dissertation is!

Greg E.

Write it by hand on an incredibly long scroll, like a Torah.

LordStryker

omg. I'd be like... 35 with carpal tunnel and arthritis before i could ever submit it!

Greg E.

Yeah, but you'd make a hell of an entrance with that thing.

LordStryker

I just need to pump out a few children in the next couple of years then put them to work transcribing my diss.

I'm sure my unknown future (wife?) would understand the necessary urgency.

Greg E.

19:18

If she's worth her price in goats, damn straight!

LordStryker

DON'T DROP THAT SIGN BOBBY! 1+1 IS TWO JIMMY! TWO! SALLY, INTEGRATE FASTER! NO! OVER ALL SPACE!

Greg E.

There have been worse childhoods.

At least they'll know multivariable calc before they can even properly control their bladders and become jaded about the sandbox and swings.

LordStryker

I miss my old swing set :(

Greg E.

Yeah, those were the days.

LordStryker

Bucket list item: Enjoy swings once more but with plenty of beer in tow.

Greg E.

19:25

In my case, the beer is always implied.

LordStryker

My swing set was turned into a fence for a garden. :(

Economical and earth-friendly but it did not end well for the swings.

Greg E.

Bah, screw the earth. What has it ever done for me except prevent me from spiraling out into space and provide me with vital nutrients?

LordStryker

@GregE. Well, the whole 'life support' thing is... well... pretty significant.

Greg E.

I dunno, maybe I'd like it in a freezing vacuum.

LordStryker

@GregE. I cannot argue with that thought.

Greg E.

19:29

Yes, nor should any sane man try.

LordStryker

@GregE. I concede to your superior display of logic and reason.

Greg E.

s/logic and reason/borderline insanity and cynicism/

LordStryker

sed -i -e 's/logic and reason/borderline insanity and cynicism/g' $file

Nicolau Saker Neto

Good news for you, Greg, in somewhere between 10^40 and 10^200 years all of the atoms that once constituted your body will have decayed into fundamental subatomic particles

So there's that to look forward to

Greg E.

Woah, global replace? Mighty sure of yourself.

LordStryker

19:32

@NicolauSakerNeto Annnnd... now I'm utterly depressed. Thanks Bro.

Greg E.

I know, I'm so excited.

LordStryker

GLOBAL REPLACE

I just executed that command on my 'dissertation.tex'

I'm THAT certain.

Nicolau Saker Neto

arxiv.org/abs/astro-ph/9701131 Best article I have ever read, hands down

LordStryker

@NicolauSakerNeto That is because you haven't read this one.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1311997/pdf/…

Nicolau Saker Neto

Ah, but I have

LordStryker

19:34

LIES

Nicolau Saker Neto

Also mandatory reading isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf

LordStryker

Except that one wasn't published in a peer-reviewed journal.

Nicolau Saker Neto

Tsk, elitist

LordStryker

The very cornerstone of good science.

Greg E.

It has the cachet of name recognition, though.

C. Chicken Chicken is very well respected.

LordStryker

19:36

Everytime I grab some fried chicken, I acknowledge the contributions of C. Chicken Chicken.

Greg E.

It's almost as if you've incorporated them into your very being.

LordStryker

@GregE. maybe I could write him into the acknowledgements section of my diss.

Greg E.

Parts of him are quite literally in your appendix already.

LordStryker

I'm pretty sure those types of things dont end up in the appendix.

then again, I'm no doctor (yet)

Greg E.

Hey, the proteins need to be synthesized from something.

LordStryker

19:41

I'm trying to write a section on density functional theory but I just cannot get my fingers to type that stuff out.

They keep reaching for the "b", "u", "l", "s", "h", "i", and "t" keys.

Nicolau Saker Neto

You just need to convince your finger to trade that "t" for a "p", that should get you in the mood

Greg E.

Haha, very nice anagram.

LordStryker

@NicolauSakerNeto All I need is a hefty intake of beer and I could slosh my way through this in record time.

Nicolau Saker Neto

How I need a drink, alcoholic in nature after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics.

subliminal mathematics

LordStryker

Maybe I should just omit the section and act like DFT doesn't even exist.

I'm considering it. I have about 9 days to wrap this up.

Hartree-Fock theory? Here, have a 20 page overview. Post-HF methods? Have another 20. DFT? nope!

against my religion!

I tried DFT once. Never again.

Friends don't let friends approximate with DFT methods.

I really need some fresh air... brb.

Dissenter

21:18

Come on guys I'm still stuck in the 20th century

Still using qualitative methods in chemistry

Nicolau Saker Neto

22:10

Haha I randomly found a quotation from a lecture in my notes, "God created bulk semiconductors, the devil created the surface"

Greg E.

Pauli was a goldmine of genius quotations

Nicolau Saker Neto

Ah that's his? I didn't know it had a specific source

Very nice

Greg E.

Yep. He missed a career in comedy, to the great fortune of everyone involved.

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