@RichardU not me, I don't make enemies, but if someone wants to be one for unknown reasons, I file it away and I will eventually make sure they have a bunch of very valid reasons and a huge regret that they ever started anything. Might be a decade later, but it will happen.
I pay all my debts with interest... good or bad ones.... usually much more interest on the bad ones.
Can i ask a question or maybe not? Today, i have tested out to press the “ask question” button on the frontpage of the website. It's working well and showed the input box in which a title plus the body text can be entered. This was a surprise, because 2 days ago, only a message was shown on the screen, that currently it's not possible to post new questions. So I'm a bit unsure, if it's ok to ask a question here at Workplace or not.
I have no idea why Defense against HR bully should be closed with a reason of "Questions require a goal we can address".
The clear goal is "Should this be escalated, with the goal to stop this kind of behaviour by G in the future?" (see - it even uses the term goal in the sentence)
And the thre...
@motosubatsu It get's bloody hot where I live. I had them on my last car, but the Audi doesn't. Not HUGE, as it cools down real quick, but still I am needy...
@JoeStrazzere Remove the "silly mean" aspect of it and make it a more generic question that could be used across the community. My boss "is mean" sounds very, well, immature to me.
If you don't like the edit, I don't care if you roll it back or make it better. I am not married to any text here ;-}
@MisterPositive Better now. But I'm not really sure it captures the essence of what the OP is trying to say. I'm not sure what the right phrasing would include.
FWIW I tried to keep it inline with the OP's original goal (from the original version) and don't think my edit invalidates the answers (particularly Hilmar's which is excellent BTW)
@Kilisi ah, I'm not beyond making REAL enemies pay... But, I prefer the Kwai Chang Caine approach. I give them every opportunity before the smackdown comes
Hmmmm, my downvote stalkers must be on vacation. I'm getting positive responses as of late.
What are you seeing in other people's answers that makes you think we're ignoring or are wanting to be ignoring autistic needs and concerns? I don't see it and I'm trying to understand what you are seeing in those answers in particular that is giving you concerns.
@Rubiksmoose I keep seeing comments that anyone raising the issue about autism, rigid thinking, and the inability to change our thought patterns as "hiding behind" or "making excuses"
To draw a parallel, I am also hearing impaired, and have over the years been told to "listen" or "pay attention". I had a blind friend that was told to "watch where you're going".
Now, the reactions to someone who is deaf, or someone who is blind, or even someone with depression told to "get over it", seems to draw a visceral response, as it should.
But, we autistics being judged as WANTING to be disrespectful, or hiding behind a disability seems to be given a pass.
at leas to my perspecitive.
I fully acknowledge the fact that I am more sensitive to the concerns of autistics than a non-autistic person may be.
@Rubiksmoose add to that, the fact that many of us have highly painful memories of being misunderstood, or saying the wrong thing that got us into trouble.... it's a very real concern.
What I'm having trouble understanding is your comments (that I've seen) seem to be directed at answers which are very supportive of allowing people to voice concerns and have those concerns heard by an answerer and acted on. But I haven't seen anything in any of those answers that would seem (again, to me) to be saying any of those things about autism.
@RichardU I could be remembering wrong, but none of those comments seemed to be directed that way to me. Hence my confusion. Or if they were directed at a person, that person did not seem to be expressing any of the views you've just mentioned.
@RichardU I can honestly say that I have the same type of issue.
The only one I can point to was I think the most recent, which responded to:
Why do you think you can define what "an actual human right" is? Why should your "right" to be disrespectful (eyeroll) override my right to be referred to correctly? — user58Oct 27 at 12:32
I can tell you that user58 especially is a wonderful, kind, and patient person. They seem to be very empathic and would certainly seem to not be in favor of ignoring people's needs no matter autistic or not. I can be wrong on this, I could have missed something, etc.
My suggestion:
If you want to actually engage with them on this subject, do so without the accusation. Your comments right now seem (to me, an outsider that has no knowledge of your history) to be very aggressive and completely out of left field. This isn't to say that they are necessarily uncalled for, but if you want to actually achieve mutual understanding, lobbing these comments isn't going to help.
@RichardU I understand, I think. And what I'm trying to gently say here is that, in all of the cases I've seen recently, you do seem to be overreacting.
It is possible that part of the reason you feel you are being censored is that other people feel that you are being aggressive for no reason. Leaning into that angle isn't going to help you get your point across and help others understand you or what you're trying to say.
Again, my suggestion is to dial it back a bit on the aggressiveness. If you have a point of contention, don't just assume that they are maligning autistic people. Try correcting and educating them kindly. Or, if you don't think you can do that, just don't engage them.
@RichardU I think that's a very healthy attitude and one that I do try to adopt myself (though I often have to check myself for aggressiveness as well, because it is an issue for me.)
@RichardU That makes a lot of sense to me. That way you're talking to a person and you don't have all these side arguments and talking past moments that comes with multiples.
Right now, your comments seem, to me, to not be achieving anything except arguments and defensiveness in the people you are talking to. In fact, it much more seems like you are simply talking "at" them and not trying to engage them in a conversation that they could achieve further understanding of your message through. Does that make sense?
Anyways, thank you for explaining a bit to me about what you're thinking and feeling. I hope my thoughts make sense and are helpful.
I have no idea why Defense against HR bully should be closed with a reason of "Questions require a goal we can address".
The clear goal is "Should this be escalated, with the goal to stop this kind of behaviour by G in the future?" (see - it even uses the term goal in the sentence)
And the thre...
