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9:54 AM
Hi @motosubatsu
I thought to clear the question here, the course is bootcamp for full stack javascript course
I did attended 2 weeks and it helped me immensly understanding
and I could understand JOINS in SQL. it is your thing isn't it?
:)
why I am not employable is coz my tech stack is old, basic css, html, wordpress and javascript. hence the rant
the reason I rejected my course first time was coz I love the work company does but given the issues with setting up and running projects locally hasnt been 100% greatly undermine my performance
for every change I do, it takes 5 mins for IIS server to load
 
10:35 AM
@localhost Except, of course, you are currently employed, and all the up-skilling you want/need to do can be done without the course. Either in your free time or in "idle" time at work. Your frustrations with the technical issues at your current job are just that - frustrations. It's not perfect but it's not horrible.
Your low employability has very little to do with your tech stack in my view and everything to do with your poor work history, why you're even considering adding to that is a mystery to me
I don't say any of that to make you feel bad - I'm just trying to help you break the cycle
if you're desperate for a structured learning environment there's plenty of options that don't involve quitting your job to do: example
sure that one takes 6 months rather than 3 but you can keep your job while you do it
 
@motosubatsu no one feel more bad then I do about me coz I keep loosing job, I didnt get pass 40 interviews is I do not have, API, react and other tech stack they needed. the ones I got had a old tech stack to maintain or wont pay enough to make a standard living.
I do not get free time, I shifted in this house after my MIL passed away so stress is one is great coz I need to shift after 2 yrs, for last 6 months while being unemployed me and my wife had great fight and I m sitting at home listening and geting annoyed, which dont let me work, study or focus
in this way I can be out of house morning till evening
I had a very ugly boss in past, where I worked and he made things painful, I left there thinking next job I got will be great and it was (sort of) until I discovered I donno sh*t about javascript and I landed a job in angular, it lasted for 4 months i.e. I couldnt compete my task or became sick with stress.

then after 2 months, I found a job where people were great and they said we will teach u VueJS and they gave me tutorials to watch and I applied them while learn, they extended my contract twice and really wished they had me perm but budgets were cut n constractors were let go
 
10:53 AM
the situation at home sounds rough - and I sympathise. But none of that changes the fact that quitting the job you managed to get, that isn't horrible, is only going to make your situation much, much worse
 
then there was 4-5 months gap, I found another job which was a VueJS developer but I never got to do it and maintained there legacy code, i was made redundant week before my probation was gonna end. The last job I had was my biggest mistake coz I was miserable and I took job 8k less then what I was earning, it became stressful within weeks and I found myself in daily scrum of abuse etc
I left that coz my and my TL was abusing
then I found a NDA contract which had RDS connection for us to work, it last 2 weeks before they ended it coz connection were terrible and they didn't want us to work on our own laptop (i never mention it)
 
What you don't seem to understand is that the details of this extended litany of job-woe are irrelevant. What matters is the headlines - and that is that you have lots of short stints in jobs that didn't work out, lots of big gaps and one common denominator
I'm not saying it's all your fault, far from it. But you're still the one responsible for turning it around, there's no white knight who's going to riding in and fix it all, and there's no silver bullet.
If you think you're the only person to have terrible bosses, get stuck working on legacy code, be dropped in probation, have to take a big pay hit, encounter technical and policy restrictions that made just doing your job difficult or have stressful time at home you are badly, badly mistaken. I can tick all those off the list at points in my career
so don't think I'm coming at this from having lived some charmed existence where I don't know what these troubles are like
 
11:43 AM
I explained it coz I think I might not be able to tell the reason why I m saying something for and meaning might get lost and I appreciate ur telling me for checking all those off the list.
It has been 2 month and still I m not familiar with asp.net let alone the codebase and I take my responsibility for many things in past but ATM I feel like 6 months of not able to work and house enviorment being so messed up hasnt made me grow and 2 months in this job, I feel like I have 2% understading of .net
@motosubatsu I reached the peak, the only way out if separation
to save my marriage I m willing to stay away i.e. 8-6 I m away from house
and for my kids future I need to learn more, learn basic. the 2 weeks I had with them
was amazing
in sense of learning concept and where I lack
even ATM I cannot work my 100% coz of enviorment I m in, the kids pick up and drop off
so instead they firing me for not being upto speed, I would rather bow out citing my concern
 
@localhost "rather than risk maybe getting shot I'll shoot myself in the head first"
 
hahah I like that, no seriously I did that last time. when TL was abusing. I quit
whereas I thought why not let them fire me, but then again what is the use of getting bad blood with someone when u can bow out respectfully?
 
forgive me if this sounds harsh but I detect something of a pattern - you hit a bump in the road (or even think you might hit a bump in the road) and you "bow out"
how's that strategy working out so far?
from what you've said there's zero indication that your current employer are contemplating getting rid of you - worrying about that right now is just borrowing trouble
 
12:04 PM
They are not. I feel worried coz due to their issues, I am unable to work, study .net properly or even get started properly and deadline is already next week
 
@localhost so in other words you've hit some bumps in the road and instead of actually trying to work through them you're working yourself into a frenzy of worry and looking to bail out instead.
 
I foresee the future, my course getting out of hand, my job ending coz of my work ethics and not being autonomous (my hands are tied by I.T.), whereas future provide me with going fullstack (as all people does), give me so much time to practice (the reason the course didnt let me continue
and gave me option to restart is coz they think I m missing crucial information like callback, recursion which is very important in all framework e.g. angular, react, vueJs and I saw my biggest obsctle getting cleared
@motosubatsu not me, my body. it is a pattern when I get stressed I became sick. be in following a 12 week diet program or seeing myself in work
I wasnt born into it, I had bad manager who gave me those vibes of "get ready to get booted coz u r not doing well" and now I m touching 40's in couple of month. I really wanna settle down with something permnanet as my problem is I do not have strong knolwegd of concepts, I took 100 of online course
 
all of these skills are things you can (and should) be learning now, and when I say "can" I mean it.. there's nothing stopping you.
and yes anxiety, is a thing - believe me I know. It's not your fault but it's still your responsibility to work through it. It sucks, it's not "fair", but it's life.
 
12:26 PM
yep, I wish I know how to work through it. my kids are small and I wanna be there for them. I had tried a lot to learn but time is passing by and I cannot, but now I got 7k course for free on scholarship (which I didnt had in past) is a chance in 1 million
I do have budget for 1 month, rest 2 months I m thinking to borrow, the only reason I emphasis on doing the course is get my basics right, no one want to do it who is going through hell in life but I can see this only option to safe my career and life
 
so you can't even afford to live the three months of the course without borrowing?
 
I know ur telling me I might be unemployeable with cv full of gaps and short stay. but ever since I started my career, the longest I stayed was 3 yrs then 4-5 yrs in freelance. the pattern is my spouse dont understand my growth or I.T. , she blame me for being not good and loosing job + constant lack of boundires and time has come where we r standing on edge
of sepration and I have to look forward to my kids and myself
 
even if you manage to walk into a job the day after you finish the course (which is unlikely to say the least) you'd have to go another month before you get paid.
All this when you have a job right now.
 
@motosubatsu I had never been that lucky to even have 1 month savings
I see people who got inspired by me, became web designer, developer and now fullstack and i still trying to get my job permanent
earning 50k more then me
 
@localhost you HAVE a perm job.. instead of throwing it away, make it work
 
12:36 PM
leave the course?
 
@localhost you haven't (re)started the course yet have you? I thought you're still employed
 
I m still employed, havent been able to do sh*t. my personal life is falling apart, I cannot maintain enviorment.
doing course make me even employable to teach as they hire student
which will make me away from house coz COVID isn't going anywhere but my life is falling into sh*t
course restart next week
 
@localhost yeah I call BS.. no-one's hiring "teachers" after a three month course
 
they do, I bet pay would be shitty but they employ there students, they have hiring network of companies in uk.
there 3 yrs old students are like teaching and senior SE engineers
some (who like to)
I had been sick for last 2 weeks, 1 week I couldnt work.
there is option of stay till they fire me
but I wont be able to come back if I want to work here again
 
@localhost why is them firing you inevitable? trick question.. it isn't
 
12:45 PM
1. It took them 2 months to install n configure my repo, meanwhile I could have worked but i couldn't coz I had to be part of daily scrum ...to lets screenshare to see what is doing on and ended in fustration. whereas deadline are looming on me
and being ashamed of fact that I havent done anything yet coz of my martial life
 
1:02 PM
the interviews I got were based on API's and even upcoming work is API based so I see where it is going
in the course, we did API, how to create,Express, SQL so it does have value
 
I'm not saying that the course won't teach you things, I'm saying it's not the only way to learn these things and that any learning value from doing this course right now is far far out weighed by the harm of throwing away (another) job, one that took you 6 months to get
 
I see where u coming from. my only problem is I m unable to do work at/from home. lack of boundries etc, no sepration of life or work hence the fear of loosing both, job and course
 
1:20 PM
@localhost if being at home is the real issue - have a look at getting a desk at a co-working space
sure it'll set you back a couple of hundred a month, but that has to be cheaper than borrowing to live as you planned on the course
there's loads of them in the Greater Manchester area
 
@motosubatsu the strongest reason is that I have felt my in laws dont want me here and need time to heal, so when i take the job I have to stay here to work, whilst if i takr course I only have to come home to sleep until things get better for me
true, bt due my job insecruity in past I do not know and fear it might end right away hence I dont take place, I saw some places prior to this job but cant afford
 
@localhost if you're seriously considering the financial peril of borrowing just to survive doing the course full time I don't see how you can't afford 100-200 a month for a co-working space
@localhost pretty sure most places do flexible length options so you wouldn't be trapped long term if things changes - heck loads of places do day-passes for £20-25 so you can try and see if it works for you for little risk
 
 
1 hour later…
2:49 PM
ur optimstic about 20-25 quid oer day
Manchester has nothing like that, it is new london
 
@localhost erm.. no I googled it
would you like a link?
 
yea shoot
 
ATM i do not have any saving by the end of month
I run paycheck to paycheck
wish I had some financial education
to look after myself
 
3:12 PM
@motosubatsu thanks for the link
 
@localhost here is another one that's slightly cheaper for a day pass. Obviously there's savings by doing it month-to-month if it was something that worked for you.
 
my fear is that its been 2 months, they gave me work but nothing output yet coz they had issue setting me up. I was clear with my manager in morning during face 2 face. he did bring it up in scrum that we would like to give me work related to VueJS, JS etc and TBH I havent had touched it for a while.

I fear if I loose this job (pattern of past), it will also loose on scholarship as well
my unemployment was secert between me and my wife but now its out in the open, it is so that my wife brother is feeding my family. I cannot change house and my credit rating is 10/999
until it was within us of my unemployment it was fine, but they r being pushed to ask why i keep loosing job, and they got answer from my wife coz he lack skill
i m in very tight spot, i do not want to loose my kids
 
3:52 PM
@localhost okay.. so you know that they are looking to give you VueJS and JS work - you've worked with them before IIRC. So while you're waiting for the work to come through/the set up to be done give yourself a quick refresher
 

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