While I note that you recognize there's a difference between self-deprecation due to depression and someone just trying to be manipulative, I'm not sure I trust people to make that judgement. I've seen lots of depressed people written of as trying to be manipulative. I've been written off as trying to be manipulative when I was quiet because couldn't figure out what to say. I know that there are people who are entrenched in their passive aggressive behaviors, but so far all of the ones I've gotten to know have been depressed. — Ed Grimm 1 min ago

I was about to answer in a similar vein (+1). Stating that one is not close with their family is a gentle way to signal that this is a topic you do not want to discuss. Normal people will take the hint and start discussing football or the strikes in France. People who are nosy may continue, but then you are in the "fuck off" area and normal repellents for nosy people are to be applied. — WoJ 30 secs ago

@JulianaKarasawaSouza I have no clue where you get your numbers from or what Google-Fu is, but I can assure you the price of gas and alcohol changes greatly depending where you are. — bracketenergy 40 secs ago

Have you tried just asking? A simple "I'm sorry, who is this?" isn't rude at all when talking to someone on the phone. Especially when they cold call you. — Lux Claridge 43 secs ago

@user1261710: My disagreement with your blanket statement ("Canada is full of") aside, you've just proven your own point: you can't expect people who are not from Canada to know this - especially not if they can't even ask questions about something they don't know about. Just because a question is asked does not in any way prove that the person was intentionally fishing for the sensitive details that might make up the answer to the question. — Flater 2 mins ago

I moved from the US to Ireland 20 years ago, and am estranged from my family. This isn't an answer so much as a different way to look at the problem. In North American culture, asking personal questions tends to be perceived as rude, so to connect with other people we usually volunteer information about ourselves. In Irish culture, talking about yourself tends to be perceived as rude, so to connect with other people we usually ask them questions about themselves. Once I saw it as just another way of trying to get to know me, I felt more comfortable with it. — mhwombat 44 secs ago

Thanks for your response! I used to do something similar with his logbook (side gig) that he kept leaving on the dining room table (???). I would throw it on his desk at the end of the day along with all the random crap that was near the notebook. It worked, but I don't know why I never connected together the dots that this approach might work for other things. I am probably not motivated enough to carry toilet paper tubes upstairs to his desk, but I'm going to this approach in general. Glad I'm not alone in this :) — Catsunami 2 mins ago