Two things I'd add to this good answer. One is to ask people if they mind you stopping by to chat, to get info on each person's preferred style. Other is before coming by, send a Slack message like "hey I have a question about X, is this a good time to talk?". — DaveG 36 secs ago

@MissTaurus as Ed Grimm mentioned, this question has AMAZING potential. You just need to narrow this down to one question. As already mentioned, do you want to tell this person to not come over anymore? Do you want to tell them to contribute more when they do come? Do you want them to not disrespect your parents like that again? Do you want to apologize to your mother about your friend's behavior? We need a question to answer. We try not to partake in venting, but rather view a topic objectively and help someone convey their feelings better. I will definitely vote to reopen upon edit! — Crazy Cucumber 6 secs ago

One thing to consider - you can't control other people and how they will respond, but your ability to switch tasks is something you can control. Switching tasks is a skill, something you can get better at. — DaveG 1 min ago