I disagree on almost every point: 1. She hasn't clearly rebuffed them, saying "Oh I don't know how my boyfriend would like that" can come off flirtatious and receptive in most situations, especially if there is any language barrier whatsoever. 2. Your motivations are more caricatures of men more so than what men actually think about. 3. Judicious mild shaming combined with a rejection in clear terms is effective on men. 4. Talking about the boyfriend won't really do much. 5. Your friend embellished their story a bit unless she was focused on cruel shaming, effective but bad for workplace — Skyler 1 min ago

Jousting with them is similar to the testing that men regularly experience on the dating scene so that's bad, especially since for some it just makes you more attractive. Being cruel is bad because she should just get them to accept the role of coworker or at most friend, rather than office enemies. I do agree that going to HR as is is a bad idea for a similar reason. Clarity is her best friend here, simple as that. — Skyler 1 min ago

@TheRealLester Updated my question — Russ Wilkie 1 min ago

I do agree with this answer and have experienced the same things. However, doing the opposite opens the door to getting tricked by a "yes man", someone who is willing to lie (or at least innocently hide) something that will eventually end a relationship (as the stereotype goes, men will say anything to get a woman in bed. It's a cliché stereotype but serves as a good example here). OP should decide which of the two evils is lesser: coming across as grating to a potential long term partner, or opening themselves to a relationship that is unsustainable in the long term. — Flater 1 min ago

+1 on the recommendation to ask people for specific work to be done rather than assigning roles. This answer could be edited to preserve some conciseness however, and note that the OP likely enjoys the social aspect of this project and wants to work on their networking skills with other aspiring professional developers (or else they wouldn't have made this club!). — nostalgk 2 mins ago

I think this is bad advice because it's putting the blame onto your SO, and could potentially cause bad blood between a possible friend/acquaintance of yours with you girlfriend. — GrumpyCrouton 1 min ago

@nostalgk While I agree that in the perfect world this would be a great social, business, and recreational activity, I feel that the social aspect might bring down the business (less efficient), and recreation (not fun because of problems that will arise when there is lack of leadership, etc.). But you are correct that the OP most likely "enjoys the social aspect" (as I would too :) ). — JBis 1 min ago

If you edit your personal experience into your answer I can guarantee you at least one downvote will change to an upvote ;) — scohe001 1 min ago

late to the party here, but if you guys really are caring about the wellbeing of a person, why not offer a 3 room place to get and have her stay with you guys? Privacy would hinder some impromptu couple activity, but why can't all of you guys live together if it's that important? Otherwise, Jesse's comment and Jane's below are right on! — ggiaquin16 50 secs ago

Hey and welcome to IPS! This sounds like a tough situation and I'm interested to see what kind of answers you get. But I think you may need to edit your "Question" portion. We prefer one question per question here :) Maybe you can narrow this down to "How can I approach my partner about helping make plans with me even though it's something he hates?" — scohe001 1 min ago