It's not clear what your goal is. If you're aiming for divorce, it doesn't sound like you intend you repair things with your wife. Maybe your goal is to keep custody? If so, you could ask for help on Law Stack Exchange. Or maybe it's to help the kids through this turmoil? If so, you could ask on Parenting Stack Exchange. Or both. Either way, it sounds like you consider the interpersonal part lost already. There is also the intrapersonal "How do I cope", but we don't really do that here. Friends, family, community, professional help are all better than the Internet. — Euchris 2 mins ago