Hi, pretty good answer all around and thank you for being open about yourself. I just have one question. If someone from your past popped up just as you were transitioning and said they found you through some stuff that clearly required them to dig, even if just a little, and said they just wanted to be supportive, you wouldn't be worried that they were a chaser/fetishist? It would be at least a little concerning, but I don't know how I would alleviate that. — AGirlHasNoName 10 secs ago

Many people are stupid (to some degree) and stupid people make stupid jokes about transgender people who are not present. These people may behave a lot better if the transgender person is one of them (and be a bit ashamed of their stupid jokes). Now if someone is hostile, that's different. They will be hostile to a colleague who turns out transgender as well. I hope I'm not too optimistic here. — gnasher729 1 min ago

Not to sound insensitive, but have you confirmed that she has been in the ICU or hospital or are these things she told you? Because, just taken from what you've told me, it sounds like she might be dodging you. — Joe-You-Know 2 mins ago

@gnasher729 Personally (different trans person here), I'd definitely prefer if you said something like "Hi Matthew, I think we knew each other in school" and then saying something identifying either about yourself or about your relationship that doesn't involve the name. I wouldn't particularly be offended if you said the old name in that context, but I definitely wouldn't like it – and also it only helps you remember the interaction, it gives nothing extra to the person you're talking to. — anon 1 min ago