The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®

12:48 AM

@mustaccio what is missing? The partition function/scheme?

mustaccio

1:35 AM

> Partitioned tables also can’t support UNIQUE indexes

for one

2:28 AM

Partitioning was a mistake

6:04 AM

Morning

6:15 AM

morning

dezso

9:02 AM

Schema owner implies CONTROL on the schema which implies ALTER on the schema. CREATE TABLE is a database-level permission, which [owner] doesn't have. — David Browne - Microsoft 14 hours ago

now that's fucked up

morning

There are a lot of CoCs been thrown around lately.

Is CoC "A Thing" nowadays?

@JohnK.N. You mean this? dba.stackexchange.com/conduct

9:19 AM

Is ours different than theirs?

@JohnK.N. They who?

@PaulWhite SE/SO/ENG/SF/...

I know we have a CoC, but didn't realize that we had our own (link).

I always thought it was a shared CoC.

Yeah, it's the same across the network. Translated for foreign language sites perhaps.

Local links for convenience, I suppose.

9:35 AM

:-)

@ErikDarling A charide, Morning all! Yes, partitioning can be a Godsend! This is a bit of a long one, but I used partitioning to turn a 25 minute query in a 5s one - not too shabby. I would agree that not being able to have a UNIQUE index across partitions is not great - but hopefully on the way - much work has been done in previous recent releases to bring it up to scratch.

p.s. did you get a chance to look at neon.tech - I put up the reference in response to something you had said about orioledb and how people you know were looking forward to it - I think neon solves some of the problems that orioledb solves but in quite a different way.

10:01 AM

Just cashed in our accumulated credit card points to buy iPhone 13 minis for us both (128GB for me, 256GB for her), and an icebreaker merino vest for her.

Quite an upgrade for me, from an original iPhone SE. She's moving from an iPhone 7+.

Mine is green, hers is midnight.

All quite excting.

That must have been quite a few points

Yep, we had a smidge under $3000.

Moving to a different card soon, where the points don't last forever.

We only really use the cards for food shopping, so goodness knows how many years it took to get that high.

10:19 AM

The card doesn't have a points history?

Probably does. I lack the interest necessary to find it. It goes up by a small amount each month is all I know.

There was a time when the points could only be used to buy Air New Zealand flights. Amanda used them to fly back to the UK to visit family a couple of times over the past decade or so. We're not flying much these days.

12:26 PM

Morning

Shots fired 😁 twitter.com/SQL_Kiwi/status/…

3

12:41 PM

@Vérace I have the tan open. It haven’t had time to read it yet

@PaulWhite cool what phone number did you get

@ErikDarling Hm? No need to change number?

@JoshDarnell Well, it's depressingly true.

I don't blame the programmers of SO for failing to appreciate it, that's part of the problem.

Most databases are glorified spreadsheets these days. Which is fine, if you've accepted you're not working on a relational database anymore. There are costs & benefits to that approach, mostly cost over the longer term.

Just a tricksy attempt to get you to give out your phone number

Don’t mind me

I just noticed that you used all screenshots from SSMS in your lock escalation posts

@ErikDarling It did not work

@ErikDarling Yeah, there was a reason for that. Some important properties missing from PE or something. I forget - I wrote it ages ago.

I figured it was that PE is terrible at visualizing parallel rows and threads

Maybe it was just because there were so many SSMS result screenshots

12:50 PM

Yea PE is also terrible at showing query results

So, consistency. But yes, parallel rows & threads are an issue

@ErikDarling Ha, yeah

Some places in NZ had snow today

It was quite cold in general

Very unusual for October

No wonder you’re home sassing former SO developers

Well, they do make it fun

And what else is tweeter for

I do get a bit sick of hearing how great the SO infra is

Questions and answers in the same table, people

The infrastructure might be, but the software sure isn’t.

Had to switch to phone to render those emoji

Feel free to delete now I've seen it

12:58 PM

Render unto emoji

@PaulWhite are they in the same or different?

long time since I checked the design

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Same, "Posts"

I understand their defensiveness. It is of course amazing the thing manages to stuggle along.

That doesn't mean better things aren't possible.

Anyway, it's not my problem.

Still doesn't make SO a great example of 5NF+ design brilliance and elegance either

i seem to recall a dearly departed dba there talking about adding several new columns to the posts table shortly before their departure

that further denormalized it

man i want a cigarette this morning

1:15 PM

@PaulWhite Yeah, that seems like the kind of decision even the original devs / designers would admit they'd like to take back.

I've had the pleasure of working with a genuinely skilled database modeller and designer a few times now. It was extremely humbling to learn how much I didn't know, and how many things I thought I knew, were in fact wrong. A real model is a delight to work with. It's trivial to extend (think new columns, tables) and always maintains proper integrity. Honestly, it made me want to quit the industry for a while, I felt such a fraud.

@PaulWhite reminds me of a pidgeon playing chess (sorry for double-boink)

@Zikato go on

Never play chess with a pigeon.
The pigeon just knocks all the pieces over.
Then shits all over the board.
Then struts around like it won

3

You were right first time? Pigeon.

1:18 PM

damn the ESL

😀

@PaulWhite are you sure?

@ErikDarling Not really sure of much these days!

ikwym

I don't mind so much these days. It's not my primary area of expertise, and never will be.

1:25 PM

sometimes i sit down to write about something and worry that i don't actually know anything about it

You're not alone, buddy

People probably think I just sit down and write things I already know about lock escalation or whatever

no i just think you're the only person smart, dogged, and masochistic enough to actually dig in on those details and write about them publicly

like... what was it

that parameterized top thing with the buffer exchanges sending early

what the hell, man

Oh yeah, that

Most problems yield to the raw application of time and effort eventually

> dogged

or dynamite

always a good fall-back option

1:31 PM

mr. o is in town for a bit and we've hung out. we were talking about how much we envy your lifestyle.

Ah, my perceived lifestyle, yes

Everything's a choice

People make different choices in their lives

some of it is choice, sure

What isn't a choice? Some choices have more palatable apparent outcomes, certainly

as a base example, being crazy isn't a choice

there are many mental issues that take real choice or free will off the table

@PaulWhite This is the most English paragraph I think I've ever read in my life. (not an insult)

1:39 PM

@ErikDarling Ok, almost everything's a choice. I'm referring to conscious lifestyle choices, mostly.

Like, I could decide to prioritise the accumulation of money points.

There's nothing especially wrong with that, as a means to a noble end.

Other choices are possible too.

no, but there's often something fundamentally wrong with the people who follow that

@SeanGallardy I did work hard on the punctuation

@Zikato Do yo uplay chess?

His pigeon does

If anyone does play chess and has a chess.com account, let me know, let's play!

2

1:42 PM

at least the pigeon doesn't use anal beads to cheat at chess

Look at you knowing about the chess world

@ErikDarling I added "...as a means to a noble end" to try to account for that.

@SeanGallardy if you were on tw*tter you would have seen my "searching for bobby fissure" joke about that

@PaulWhite that's why i send you wine 😘

I would star that, great joke, but also twitter is in there so they negate each other

@ErikDarling An underrated classic

1:44 PM

@SeanGallardy I usually play at lichess but I think I have an account at chess.com, too

@SeanGallardy Being on twitter will always be a net negative

2

@ypercubeᵀᴹ I have lichess as well :)

@ypercubeᵀᴹ how many dimensions does your chess board have?

I need to find my phone, no clue where it is, no idea what my account is

@ErikDarling v noble cause

I had a Star Trek 3D chess board when I was much younger.

No idea what happened to it.

Maybe it's in the loft.

1:48 PM

maybe it's with that cure t-shirt

goodness me

never played 3d chess

Me either, with anyone else

I'm pretty sure it was intended as a decorative piece rather than as a playable game

Perhaps I'm just not Spock enough

Hannah Vernon

@PaulWhite still glad I left that cesspool even if I still get pulled in by links here occasionally lol

it's very tribal

doesn't exactly bring out the best in people

2:06 PM

it brings out the best in me

it just turns out that's not very good

You've always been an exception

Not necessarily in the try...catch sense

yahoo

@SeanGallardy I've used to. But probably couldn't keep up with today pro's. The tutorials and computers are much better now

Some people's best is also their worst 🤷‍♂️

@Zikato I suck, so you're good :)

@SeanGallardy Sounds like you set min and max memory the same

2:08 PM

@PaulWhite I hear that's the best setup!

@PaulWhite Can you recommend someone? I'm always interested in a good db design

2:51 PM

I wish I could

3:08 PM

but you learned from the best

so it could be you

3:27 PM

Hot take blog article incoming :D

3:37 PM

First cousin died this morning - very sad! She was the first of my generation to pass! Sic transit gloria mundi - Ar dheis Dé go raibh a h-anam!

@ErikDarling your tan reference escapes me? Is is a JTNTBEAGL (Joke That Needs To Be Explained At...)?

@Vérace Sorry to hear :'(

@Vérace tan/tab

I didn't know you were Gaelic

Eire born and raised ;)

3:56 PM

@SeanGallardy Gaelic is an adjective referring to languages - if you wish to refer to my ethnic identity, then I am an Irish Celt - "Ceilt Éireannach is ea liom" - thanks for the message re. my cousin!

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Funny you should say that! The word "eire" (without the fada - fada is the Irish for "long" - and, obviously enough it lengthens the vowel on which it is placed and (depending) changes the pronunciation also) is the Irish for "burden" or "load" - some would undoubtedly agree with you - born and raised a burden! :-)

@Zikato This answer covers some really cool ground on the data modeling / relational front. And basically ever other answer by that user.

4:16 PM

@Vérace sorry but I tend to omit these extra accent marks on chat. Two language settings is as much I can handle ;)

4:37 PM

If you use Windows as your day-to-day machine, Ctrl-Alt-<character> will put an acute accent on it and backtick followed by a vowel puts a grave accent! Linux is a pain for that - à propos - anyone got any nifty Linux shortcuts for accents?

4:48 PM

@JoshDarnell Thank you. I've read some design books and have some experience. But recommendation from Paul must be someone really good

@Zikato Paul has already given you this recommendation once 😀

Jun 27 at 10:57, by Paul White

https://dba.stackexchange.com/users/63644/mdccl?tab=answers

josh reads the docs and the transcript

unstoppable

@Vérace windows? I try not to put viruses on my machines ;)

2

@JoshDarnell I have no excuse. Thank you

https://twitter.com/Zikato25/status/1578067626059874309
cc @Forrest

5:14 PM

@Zikato 😀

@ypercubeᵀᴹ My name on lichess is "SolidMeh"

My chess.com name is "ehthatsmeh"

I'll bite. Zikato on lichess

Geeze 1500

5:30 PM

1500?

Maybe that's just what it gives everyone for a rating?

I think so. I've just registered

Ahhhh ok that makes sense

Relevant: twitter.com/WSJ/status/1577381020722204682

which is interesting because the investigation report says "no evidence" that he cheated... but when you look at his games, he has quite the litany of damning pieces of information... and also that he got caught cheating before... multiple times.

5:43 PM

I think no evidence of the mechanism

Ah, maybe that's the case. I skimmed the report

I took it as no evidence of cheating

I think it's just poorly written

Both the report and the reportage

😂🤣

Or there's some issue that they fear being sued

Is the analysis of game plays evidence of what level of confidence - probably 100% that some of the games were cheated, but taking a particular game, maybe not. I don't know. I know he admitted to cheating in two cases in the past, so I don't see why he's allowed to play at all

Agreed

I think it's kind of obvious when he jumped so high in ratings out of nowhere and then played multiple (10?) games that 100% mirrored max depth stockfish

People are good. No one has been that good.

Could this be a first? Sure.

I'm still not buying it

5:53 PM

He'll release a book soon titled: "If I did it"

should release his own line of anal beads

not sure you wanna shape them like chess pieces

that wasn't confirmed though. Just a Reddit comment that caught attention

prove it

Burden of proof (philosophy)

You prove it

The burden of proof (Latin: onus probandi, shortened from Onus probandi incumbit ei qui dicit, non ei qui negat) is the obligation on a party in a dispute to provide sufficient warrant for its position. == Holder of the burden == When two parties are in a discussion and one makes a claim that the other disputes, the one who makes the claim typically has a burden of proof to justify or substantiate that claim especially when it challenges a perceived status quo. This is also stated in Hitchens's razor, which declares that "what may be asserted without evidence, may be dismissed without evidence...

I am watching the chess match ;)

6:07 PM

you want me to prove that he should release his own line of anal beads?

Chess is all of a sudden going to get a new crowd following it...

Hundreds of Microsoft SQL servers backdoored with new malware

6:33 PM

@ErikDarling seangallardy.com/…

so you're saying the backdoor is... plugged

I agree. The article finishes with "At this time some details remain unknown, like ... how the malware is planted in the servers in the first place"

While interesting how the malware uses SQL Server to hide its activity, I don't see how it is a SQL Server vulnerability.

6:49 PM

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Exactly. I've already been asked by multiple people if this is a known issue.. I'm like... brute forcing passwords and having already compromised systems be taken over?

@SeanGallardy you should have josh make you tw*tter cards

7:31 PM

@SeanGallardy I'm back on chess

twitter.com/KailiJoy/status/1578095692584714252

@CadeRoux that i'd pay for

Found a good write up with links to sources.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/x8dimj/the_hans_niemann_story_cheating_allegations_anal/

I was wrong with the Reddit, apparently some GM touted it as a possibility on a Twitch stream

I think they're wrong about the anal thing.

Luckily this is in reprint

amazon.com/Eudaemonic-Pie-Bizarre-Physicists-Computer/dp/…

They used shoe computers to have people timing the roulette wheels transmit the timings and calculate odds and place bets to cover the likely stopping points.

thomasbass.com/the_eudaemonic_pie_1360.htm

8:07 PM

At this point you have two way communication and that completely eliminates the temporal firewall where the audience is on delay.

10:48 PM

@ErikDarling Is that this? Or is there another meaning? developer.twitter.com/en/docs/twitter-for-websites/cards/…