The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Yeah, folders for schemas would be nice. As it is there is no way to see empty schemas or script them from the GUI in a pinch. Or do quick inspection or changes to grants on schemas from the GUI.

Paul White

@ErikDarling p good ty

I'm answering questions today using a stack

Erik Darling

a stack of what

hammers

Paul White

a programming stack

last in, first out

Erik Darling

3:09 PM

i demand unfair thread status

Paul White

Granted

Collect your latch at the door

There might be a queue

Sean Gallardy

@PaulWhite Among everyone

Paul White

3:24 PM

Well, a few people in this room do ok, as a general rule

1 hour later…

Erik Darling

4:31 PM

today's query tuning adventure: creating pre-filtered temp tables turns out a lot better than repeatedly re-running the same query over and over again

🫠

Sean Gallardy

Sounds like one I had last week, "Synchronization is slow across a 10 Mb WAN link". Yes, yes it is.

Erik Darling

people are really great

Cade Roux

@ErikDarling I always hate to find that I can outperform the optimizer with just breaking things up into temp tables the way I expected the problem to be best solved in the first place.

Erik Darling

yep

it's like every time i see a cte or a derived join or similar it's all here we go again

J.D.

4:54 PM

Hot take, the optimizer was better pre-covid days... I say this with no actual data to support my claim.

Erik Darling

i think what you're referring to is the legacy CE

J.D.

5:24 PM

Legacy for reals. I feel like I had less poor query plans being chosen for well written queries in 2008R2 vs modern times. But I was a noob back then, so who knows. 🤷‍♂️

Erik Darling

what do you mean back then

J.D.

Erik Darling

3 hours later…

Paul White

8:08 PM

It's all so tiresome

Sean Gallardy

In B4 MS support becomes a ChatGPT bot

"You're having query performance issue, have you tried deleting all the data? The query should run fast after deleting all the data."

Zikato

Josh Darnell

That cuts deep.

Erik Darling

8:34 PM

ship that invoice

@PaulWhite can i quote you on that on my tombstone?

Sean Gallardy

So on point.

Paul White

9:31 PM

@ErikDarling knowyourmeme.com/memes/its-all-so-tiresome

Optimised Locking

Currently only available on slow and expensive toy databases in some cloud regions but coming soon for real SQL Server

I like it because it builds on Accelerated Database Recovery, one of the few recent almost unmitigated success stories

Erik Darling

9:47 PM

does that mean sql server 2022r2

Paul White

I doubt it. I think there's a trace flag to make it work on 2022 already from memory but I'll need to check later

Check how functional it is, I mean

Erik Darling

well then

sql server 2022 was a mistake

Paul White

Had to ship it to avoid the name being embarrassingly wrong

SSMS 19 wasn't ready either

Erik Darling

version N0

Paul White

OTOH they might be so desperate for cloud revenue they'll keep it in 'preview' until SQL Server 2024

In the hands of the marketing geniuses I guess

Maybe we'll see it in a CU

Erik Darling

9:54 PM

i would like to see any cu period

Paul White

Staff cuts

Other priorities like extensive virtue signalling

And adding arbitrary complexity for zero benefit

Good time to install Postgres on Windows

Erik Darling

that poll is not faring well

twitter.com/erikdarlingdata/status/1620840695346118657

Paul White

I voted any port in a storm

Erik Darling

you're the only thing standing between democracy and docker

god bless

Sean Gallardy

10:17 PM

@PaulWhite Everything is cloud revenue if you label it

Paul White

Sounds like fraud

Erik Darling

everything is a business expense

Paul White

Including lunch?

Erik Darling

especially lunch

Paul White

I remember lunches

Before the invoice came

Hey, imagine the mixed emotions of having worked on both Scalar Function Inlining and Accelerated Database Recovery

Would rip a lesser brain apart

Erik Darling

10:27 PM

you can just blame karthik for udf inlining

wash your hands of it

Paul White

Fair

Constant Time Recovery will always be a better name than ADR tho

Nothing is regret free it seems

Also PVS sounds like a pharmacy

Erik Darling

did you pick up your adr prescription from pvs

Paul White

Aggressive Log Truncation is literal violence

Naming things is hard

Erik Darling

aggressive log truncation is the name of my earth crisis cover band

Paul White

Good choice

Deforestation and whatnot

Erik Darling

10:34 PM

where did @Forrest go

Paul White

His log got shipped

Probably still making substandard puns somewhere

Erik Darling

11:16 PM

🔥🔥🔥

Is this what the kids call feeling seen

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