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12:41 AM
-- NOTE: THE IMPLEMENTATION (ie. using trace bit 1717) IS *VERY* LIKELY TO CHANGE,
--  SO DONT EVEN *THINK* ABOUT USING THIS TRACE BIT DIRECTLY!!!
hrm...
echo "DBCC TRACEON(1717)" >> ~/.mssqlcli.ini
 
tracebit that sets all new objects as system objects
sounds like a plan!
 
 
4 hours later…
4:36 AM
@PaulWhite Thanks for the edit
interesting that connect item is marked as won't fix
 
4:56 AM
Is there a list of DBCC Trace Flags?
I heard you all talking about that earlier. Does anyone actually have a list of them all?
 
5:14 AM
@JoeObbish Won't Fix stuff sometimes gets fixed in a later version
@EvanCarroll We talked about this in here just recently. The 'best' list according to a few people was github.com/ktaranov/sqlserver-kit/blob/master/…
3
 
yea, no one cares about the official list. ;)
that guy did a killer job with that
That's some through documentation
 
It's not a complete list
 
Is that method of discovery flawed or total?
 
hm?
 
oh nvm he's only dumping the optimizer rules
so no one has a complete list of dbcc tracon flags?
 
5:29 AM
employees
 
this will be fun. ;)
If this is right, it's certainly doable: dba.stackexchange.com/a/141108/2639
Well, I got my Microsoft Crapdoku puzzle for the night
 
If it were that simple :)
 
@PaulWhite I assume they're all stored in a global memory address.. Have you ever scanned the code for things that moved the address into a register, followed by a call to cmp?
 
Yes
 
And can't you get a total list of numbers that way?
if not, why wouldn't that work?
Granted, that doesn't tell you what they do
 
5:42 AM
Well, the answers there (including mine) pretty much cover it.
 
Well the part you have that addresses it is here,

> can be useful in simple cases, but the interesting cases aren't often simple - and not all trace flags are checked at the point where they affect the code path taken.
That's true, but my method would find cases that aren't live.
 
Let us know how you get on
 
going to try to stub SetSessionTrace to see the memory address it writes to, then I'm going to core dump and see things that would read from that address and compare after
(no idea if that will work)
 
Me either. Have fun!
 
5:47 AM
My interest in trace flags is usually limited to how they affect specific things I'm investigating.
Including ones that produce debug information of course.
 
Well, making the list useful would be a massively more complex task
 
Yes indeed.
 
 
2 hours later…
7:52 AM
Morning all
 
8:02 AM
@McNets GOOD MORNING ! =)
I'm about to crashhhh
2 AM for me.
I hereby give the entirety of DBA.StackExchange to @McNets for the night: he's in charge until I get back. ;)
 
@EvanCarroll Hi, there is a bed waiting for you, I suppose...
@EvanCarroll haha, I'll take care!
 
8:25 AM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft I'll second that any time
Good Morning.
 
 
1 hour later…
9:45 AM
Front page full of shit questions at the moment :(
 
:-)
 
 
2 hours later…
11:41 AM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Well, back when I were a wee lad, folks used to be able to install and run thousands of applications on a Sun box without the individual applications shitting on each other. My alma mater had a portfolio of literally thousands of applications they ran on three sun servers and served up to a network of workstations over NFS.
Nary a hypervisor in sight.
Jails used to be a thing on BSD-derived *nixs. You could set up a jail with just the binaries and shared libs you needed to support the application's run time and run the application in a jail. The concept got re-invented as containers but they seem to have added a lot more melodrama to the process.
I'm starting to feel like an old fart. Get off my lawn.
 
 
2 hours later…
1:32 PM
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells That was a little different IIRC. It was time division based on the actual hardware, whereas the oversubscription model in current hypervisors isn't quite the same.
I totally get it though
hehe, let's put a fence around your lawn... we'll call it LPAR and paint it yellow.
 
I don't think they even bothered to use LPARs; I don't think the machines they were using were big enough to even have LPARs.
Although on a heavily loaded server you might want to use them to prevent one LPAR from gobbling all the CPU.
LPARs are something between containers and VMs run by a hypervisor-ish thing in the machine's firmware.
Depending on the architecture they can go down to CPU or slice-of-CPU level of grain.
Closer to VMs than containers - you can run separate O/S's in LPARs.
 
People still say things like "logical data center" and it makes me wanna smash their Blackberries.
 
Well I get strange results when I use an illogical data center
 
@sp_BlitzErik or their faces...
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft The technical term is 'Percussive Stakeholder Management'
 
@PaulWhite CAPTAIN (Spock voice)
 
WOOOT - an XE question
0
Q: Extended Events replacement for Virtual file stats

AppleBook89Is there a way to monitor virtual filestats data with Extended Events, instead of doing (select * from sys.dm_io_virtual_file_stats) in SSMS?

 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Masochist
 
I'm getting ready for that resource semaphore question when I get home from the gym
 
A: Use fewer resources
 
1:49 PM
Not everyone's carbon footprint can be a vape trail and cucumber ends pal
 
I suppose that may be true
Q: Which events did Extended Events extend?
 
None. They just extended the lengths you have to go to not to find the problem.
4
 
@sp_BlitzErik I don't know how you gym in the morning. I used to go at 5 am, but I wasn't nearly as strong... and I was super hungry.
 
Aw man I only do cardio and I like mornings because Charmed is on the big TV
 
@sp_BlitzErik No matter how fast you run, I think you've fallen behind in catching those girls...
 
2:03 PM
Lol
In absolute terms it's the only thing that can distract me from the misery that is running in place
 
Truth, I don't know how people do that
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft there are about 1.5 non-contiguous months a year where it's nice to run outside in nyc
 
@sp_BlitzErik False, you put your trash on the street - it's never a nice time to run outside.
 
i'd rather dodge trash and homeless than snakes and gators
 
@hacksoar you are very welcome to receive help from me. If you compared your question lacking punctuation and capitals, you will see why I edited it - you are welcome on that, too. Please also note that questions here remain for years, hopefully helping others, too. For this purpose, good formatting is better than bad formatting. Furthermore, you don't have to listen to good advice, but then don't even ask - you still got your answer, after all, it seems. No one said concatenation won't work, but ''' is exactly the messy thing you can avoid using the features Postgres kindly offers. — dezso 9 secs ago
yes, I am pissed off
 
2:12 PM
did they roll back your edits?
 
@sp_BlitzErik No snakes and gators here, just ate the last three.
 
oh, that you're not allergic to
 
@sp_BlitzErik I can eat all of the animals.
It's a quest I've been on
 
serious question: if the apocalypse happened after shoulder day, would you eat a person to not get doms?
 
A few years ago had antelope, gazelle, kangaroo, horse, and a few others
 
2:14 PM
where'd you have horse? almost tried horse tartare in mtl
 
@sp_BlitzErik Considering my shoulders are already effed up... I'd probably have some long pork.
I ordered it through one of the butcher shops in Pittsburgh... though a horse on the farm did die of colic - so I could have jut hacked off a flank.
 
lol
how was it?
 
tasted like meat
I mean, I've been to Ikea before so horse wasn't new
( Ikea meatball joke)
 
bear, bison, moose, elk (my favorite)
pheasant, dove, wild turkey
Snake, gator/croc, frog
I should create a database
have a list of animals in the world and a list for what I've eaten
though, I'm sure somehow @JoeObbish would find a way to make those queries slow
 
2:19 PM
would beat wwi
 
@dezso See. Told you so.
 
@PaulWhite That's a good list of TF's, more than I've seen anywhere else.
 
it's open source like bol, so you can add to it
right?
 
@sp_BlitzErik Why is horse special?
I love a good horse filet
 
in america we don't eat our cars
you animal
 
2:26 PM
What purpose do horses still have other than eating?
There are no Amish around here
 
cigarette ads
beer ads
a guy in enumclaw found a particularly bad use for them
 
@TomV Watching cute women fall off of them as they compete to jump over the highest and longest obstacles?
or maybe I just like to watch people fall off of things and eat dirt...
otherwise known as airport people watching
@EvanCarroll Good luck with that... it's not really going to work, but how you choose to waste your time is your decision!
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft I had horse in Italy once.
When I first came to Europe (and went home via Kyoto), I had sausages in Germany, snails in France, pasta in Italy, Sushi in Japan and mushy peas in England.
I've kangaroo and croc before as well.
Barbecued crocodile with beer marinade.
 
Both of those last two in Australia, I assume?
 
New Zealand - at one point Big Fresh had them.
 
2:35 PM
ya'll are making me hungry
 
They also had water buffalo but I didn't get any of that.
I also tried Mutton Bird once, but it's really nasty.
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Grilled moose isn't bad either
 
@TomV Much like venison, I guess.
 
@sp_BlitzErik no, they did not. That I find even more curious.
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells No moose was much better
Sweeter also, so if you don't like that you may prefer venison
 
2:40 PM
@TomV I can find elk here, but I had the impression that an elk wasn't the same species as a moose.
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells I think that's what I had, european moose :)
 
or european elk
In Oslo
 
I might order some and try it here maybe.
Many years ago, my folks raised angora goats. We used to have a surfeit of G4 (half angora) bucks, which we ate one year. There was once a conversation that went:
*Sister (aged 7):* What's for dinner?
*Me (aged 14):* Babbles.
She works as a programme manager on telco infrastructure projects now. I think I scarred her for life.
 
Something tells me that probably wasn't the only time you traumatised her like that :p
 
2:55 PM
@PaulWhite But why ...The 'best' list according to a few people was... Is it no longer the 'best' list?
 
@hot2use No significance. I was writing about a past event, so used a past tense.
 
3:56 PM
okey dokey
 
@PaulWhite but why were you tense
 
@sp_BlitzErik Because of links to poor Stack Overflow answers in comments
 
@PaulWhite did i do that?
 
@sp_BlitzErik No
Well, you might have, but if you have I haven't noticed (yet)
 
you'll have to review all my comments thoroughly
 
4:03 PM
Busy destroying spammers will add context in a moment
 
happy friday!
 
@PaulWhite Did I do it?
 
Yes!
 
10 demerits
 
:-(
EXCEPT?
 
4:05 PM
To be fair all answers on SO are terrible
 
hard to believe how much infrastructure is written on code from there
 
It's amazing humanity has lasted so long
 
if i == 2 return 4;
 
@PaulWhite I'll go home and be ashamed of myself
 
Well let this be a lesson to you :)
Spammers nuked. Less tense now.
 
4:07 PM
for about the duration it takes to open a bottle of Brooklyn Beer.
 
@PaulWhite Emulating EXCEPT ALL in MySQL would be a real challenge.
Probably in SQL Server, too.
 
Remind me what the tricky aspect would be?
 
If there are 3 identical rows in a and 1 in b, except all b would have to return 2 of them.
I don't think I have even seen it used. Neither I can imagine a use of it.
 
Ah true! Thank you that's the bit I always forget
Do you happen to know if Postgres implemented it that way?
 
Yes, I just tested in Postgres
 
4:10 PM
> EXCEPT returns all rows that are in the result of query1 but not in the result of query2. (This is sometimes called the difference between two queries.) Again, duplicates are eliminated unless EXCEPT ALL is used.
That's pretty much all the documentation has to say, as far as Google will tell me.
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft why won't it work?
;)
WHERE THERE IS A WILL. THERE IS A WAY.
 
yesterday, by Sean Gallardy - Microsoft
@EvanCarroll Everything we do as a company, everything, is just to piss off @EvanCarroll
@ypercubeᵀᴹ On dbfiddle? I'd like to see the plan for that.
Assuming it's interesting.
 
@dezso yea that guy was kinda being a d-bag
 
iirc itzik had a workaround with row number for sql server
for except all et al
 
4:17 PM
The workarounds for not having row number are awesome
I asked a question on here a while ago
(tremendously downvoted)
-4
Q: How can I generate a row_number without using a window function?

Evan CarrollIn PostgreSQL, how do you generate a row number, WITHOUT a Window Function (like row_number()) WITHOUT a Temp Table Only using a single SELECT Here is some sample data to play with, CREATE TEMP TABLE foo AS SELECT * FROM ( VALUES ('wgates', 'Gates', 'William' ), ('wgrant', 'Grant', 'Wal...

 
well i'm not clicking that
looks like bad luck
 
Are you soliciting delete votes?
 
@PaulWhite could be, i don't recall it being on a ms site though
 
Love em'. I'm secretly trying to amass the most negative votes without getting banned. All my good contributions are an illusion.
 
@sp_BlitzErik I'm pretty sure he's written more than once about it.
 
4:20 PM
might even be in a book
 
Almost certainly
 
@PaulWhite not really: dbfiddle.uk/…
"HashSetOp Except All"
 
to this day operator names in cursor plans still surprise me
POPULATION QUERY WHAT THE
scroll cursor -_-
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ HashSetOp is mildly interesting.
@sp_BlitzErik Populating the hidden table backing the cursor. U no speakada inglish?
That paged explain plan thing is a bit nifty
 
@PaulWhite i speak proper english and don't cursor at my server
 
4:25 PM
Well played
 
i want to start naming tables after weird query plan operators
Table Scan Constant Scan
 
I always thought Constant Scan was an implied criticism of the dba's inability to use indexes effectively
 
or write a sensible where clause
0
Q: Which all application/SQL agent jobs or any other process executes a SP

BeginnerDBAI am trying to get info on one of the table for which all process inserts the data into it and came to know there is this SP " sp_abc". Now how can i get the information on which all processes or application executes this SP to insert data into that table? Please suggest

the meek shall inherit the database
 
wtaf
 
4:44 PM
anyone else finding that creating indexes is taking a lot longer since the whole spectre/meltdown thing?
 
Performance testing is now a complete nightmare
 
you have to redo like a decade of demos ;)
 
And so now to compare performance we need the same version, configuration, and bios!
 
@sp_BlitzErik nah. We are still vulnerable. I set the wheels in motion for that day one so they'll probably get here in a few months.
 
@Zane hopefully the downloads won't be blocked, eh?
 
4:53 PM
ha!
Don't scare me like that man. It wouldn't be surprising.
 
i'm just preparing you for a future ruled by people whose only coding skill is powershell
 
Ever since I patched for those vulns, every oddity or perceived slowdown is blamed on that
 
I actually just got forwarded a great gig opportunity but it was still in this company so I'd be stuck with the same BS policy. So instead of taking it I'm going to look elsewhere.
@sp_BlitzErik ha! You wish I can't run powershell without written permission to log onto the box to run said powershell.
 
@Zane DUMMY take the new position and raise first, then interview with new money
 
Isn't it a thing in the US now that interviewers can't ask about current terms & salary?
 
4:58 PM
i've always been asked current salary
but who knows
 
Maybe that's just California or something
I thought I read a recent-ish news thing about it
But who can keep up
 
wouldn't surprise me in california
they probably just ask your current rent
 
right
 
and base salary on that
 
I guess people will always find a proxy
 
4:59 PM
@PaulWhite Seems to be. I tended to move up based on my previous salary as opposed to my skill level.
 
"So, what sort of fine art have you been buying recently?"
 
"what's your favorite flavor of sorbet a the savoy?"
ohyoudonthaveone
thanks for coming in!
 
heh heh heh
 
Erm I misread that comment and so my comment makes no sense.
 
That's ok.
The love is unconditional in here.
 
5:09 PM
If we'd punished folks for misreading, poor grammar, or spelling I'd have been out of here ages ago.
 
It'd be a ghost town
Cue Erik
 
@PaulWhite too much fighting on the dance floor
 
tada!
 
@PaulWhite Yeah it's a California only tihng
Other Kalifornia only things: 1) You don't have to tell people you gave them AIDS 2) Using the wrong pronoun for a person will get you fined/jail time 3) They use more tax money to pay for subsidizes for illegals than citizens
4) shopping bags will cost you $0.10 each at the store at checkout if you didn't bring your own
 
5:27 PM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft that's also in many countries in Europe. For plastic bags (I suppose it's the same in cali?)
0.05 pounds in UK, 0.04 euros in Greece for example.
 
thta's good to know! I didn't get hit with any in Germany, Luxembourg, France, or Ireland... that I know of...
LOL I got an email from someone and their official designation has, "Storage, Things, and Connectivity" in it
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft I wonder if that's more virtue signalling or pigouvian taxation
 
England started in October 2015, Scotland earlier. Greece only this January.
 
@Forrest The money goes into a "General" tax fund... so it's just a money scheme.
under the guise of "saving the planet"
@ypercubeᵀᴹ You get around!
 
it's supposedly to lower plastic use. According to official stats, it helps
 
5:31 PM
@ypercubeᵀᴹ Who writes those stats, again?
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft I am from Greece, moved to UK a few years ago.
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft I'm sure many people reuse the bags, even if it's just 5p per bag. How good that is for the environment, no idea.
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ Just call me Winston Smith ;)
@sp_BlitzErik Shoulder day... I can feel my rotator cuff crying already.
 
5:48 PM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft just keep your abs tight bro
 
6:09 PM
@Zane we'd only have @AndriyM left
@ypercubeᵀᴹ in Belgium a lot of shops pay the tax and don't charge the customer as some kind of service
 
@TomV I've misread questions or answers countless times, so...
Thanks for thinking so well of me, though
 
But I have never seen you misspelling anything
@hot2use those are pretty decent
I discovered those in a bar on a corner not to far from where the twin towers used to be and have ordered it the rest of my stay in nyc
Then again anything beats Heineken
 
@TomV even water beats Heineken
@TomV Yes they are pretty decent
 
6:30 PM
@TomV I think I have something close to misspellophobia, or whatever is the proper name for it.
4
 
The term anal retentive (also anally retentive), often abbreviated to anal, is used to describe a person who pays such attention to detail that it becomes an obsession and may be an annoyance to others, potentially to the detriment of the anal-retentive person. The term derives from Freudian psychoanalysis. == Origins == In Freudian psychology, the anal stage is said to follow the oral stage of infant or early-childhood development. This is a time when an infant's attention moves from oral stimulation to anal stimulation (usually the bowels but occasionally the bladder), usually synchronous with...
;)
 
6:44 PM
@ypercubeᵀᴹ remarkable isn't in any way the same as an annoyance
Admiration even
 
Julia Silge & Nick Larsen on January 15, 2018

Yesterday, Jon Skeet’s reputation on Stack Overflow passed 1,000,000. ONE MILLION. Those of you who are highly engaged with the Stack Overflow community probably have a general idea of a) who Jon Skeet is and b) exactly how amazing and ridiculous this statement is, but just to make sure we are all on the same page, let’s dig a little deeper. For starters, how many answers has Jon Skeet posted on Stack Overflow? Let’s look at Jon, together with the other 100 folks who have the highest reputation on our site. …

2
 
I wish I was as good at English grammar and spelling
 
64gb of ram in the laptop, let's see you ruin my demos now
little bugger
 
7:10 PM
@TomV Seth was usually the person addressing my spelling and @Lamak in spite of his nation of origin still tends to correct my grammar. lol
 
@sp_BlitzErik I have 64 and now I run out of CPU :(
 
@sp_BlitzErik good grief I thought 32 in my PC was a bit much.
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft different components, dontchaknow
@Zane for what? zelda?
 
Trying to do demo's with 2 DC's, a router, appliances, and 8 SQL Servers using AG makes my laptop smoke
 
@sp_BlitzErik erm. Well two things. SSIS testing and there was a sale so the RAM was cheap.
 
7:12 PM
on the flip side, it's easy to create perf problems
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft it does that in real life, too ;)
 
@Zane i keep hearing about this ssis thing
 
Sadly if my laptop is the same performance as your server... there's a problem
although...
I put the 1TB 960 nvme in and I can say...
 
we've had so many clients where i have to show them my laptop specs to put things in perspective
 
7:14 PM
I beat customer's "enterprise grade" solutions
 
@sp_BlitzErik It used to be my jam when I got hired out of my low tier sweatshop job and into an ETL position here.
 
it's always some vm admin's fault
 
Dear people, SAN's aren't magic and aren't generally for performance
6
@sp_BlitzErik If it isn't the network
 
WHAT DO YOU MEAN 1GB ISCSI ISN'T FAST ENOUGH
 
@sp_BlitzErik ESPECIALLY BECAUSE WE DONT SEGREGATE TRAFFIC AND USE IT FOR NORMAL COMMUNICATIONS TOO
WHY DO I NEED DOUBLE INFRASTRUCTURE?!
 
7:15 PM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Honestly I'm surprised by the industries adoption of SAN's in general. It's another layer of abstraction to cause additional troubles for companies.
 
alright, bbl... I'm oddly b*tchy today
 
"stop comparing my hardware to a usb drive"
 
@Zane They do it because of admin ease
 
I'm not saying SAN's are inherently bad but it's another human layer of interaction/infighting to solve a problem.
 
@sp_BlitzErik Stop having hardware slower than a 1.44 " floppy
 
7:16 PM
@ypercubeᵀᴹ Curiously, it probably became more OCD-like for me when I became conscious of it.
 
Not to mention the cabling between a SAN and a database server can be a really difficult problem to analyze.
 
@Zane eh just make people copy a 1gb file and time it
 
@sp_BlitzErik We ended up tracking it down two ways. First I measured what SQL server was giving us for latency matching it to Windows latency and proving that SAN latency was lower. However those numbers were hard to match since the SAN team wouldn't give us Read only access to their monitoring tools for us.
 
san teams and vm teams are usually so difficult
 
7:24 PM
The second way was I remembered a Presentation David Klee gave me in Minneapolis a few years ago where he ran into that problem. Which is why I had asked for multiple connections in the first place.
Turns out they had wired them all up but stopped short of connecting them since they assumed we wouldn't need the bandwidth.
lol
 
7:38 PM
@sp_BlitzErik I track our index rebuilds, so I ran an analysis on durations pre/post patch. Too high of variance to say much, but it doesn't look like a significant change.
 
how long do they take?
 
Looking at everything above 50ms, average is 5% longer, standard deviation is 40%
 
interesting
 
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