The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®

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Joe Obbish

1:15 AM

well, right

so ask me how my day went

sp_BlitzErik

how did you day go, dear?

Joe Obbish

we ran into a new bottleneck

that someone from MSFT wrote one sentence about in 2015

sp_BlitzErik

i hope it was a whiskey bottle

Joe Obbish

no

it was CCI related

so you can be happy about that

sp_BlitzErik

what was the one sentence?

Joe Obbish

1:17 AM

"... a logical resource bottleneck such as contention on a ROWGROUP_FLUSH lock which can be induced by slower disk IO on the Log drive."

sp_BlitzErik

i told you that you needed xtremio

and you made fun of me

Joe Obbish

1:49 AM

@sp_BlitzErik no I didn't

Joe Obbish

3:33 AM

this question could use some love:

1

Q: Empty result takes longer with all columns included

I'm executing a query every 1 second and most of the time it returns no results (SQL generated by Entity Framework): SELECT TOP (5) [Extent1].[ID] AS [ID], ***30 more columns*** FROM ParentTable AS [Extent1] WHERE ([Extent1].[ImageTaken] = 1) AND ([Extent1].[ImageProjected] <> 1) A...

Joe Obbish

4:17 AM

@PaulWhite Dima told me that TF 2418 disables serial match mode processing

McNets

7:52 AM

g morning

hot2use

8:17 AM

morning everybody

ypercubeᵀᴹ

9:29 AM

Please do not crioss-post: dba.stackexchange.com/questions/195132/… One question, in one site, is enough. You are only creating extra work for users and moderators with the double posts. — ypercubeᵀᴹ 1 min ago

(close or migrate)

dezso

9:54 AM

@ypercubeᵀᴹ typocube!

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

10:41 AM

Morning all

hot2use

Thanks @dezso

dezso

11:38 AM

@hot2use np

Andriy M

12:15 PM

Migrated:

0

Q: Deleting from multiple tables with foreign constraints in mysql

I have three tables as seen below. Tables what my requirement is, when I delete a row from a donate_club table, I need to delete all the entries related to this row from 'donationRequest' and 'committments'. Here 'commitments' table has a foreign key relation ship with 'donatinRequest' table. S...

mysql

Let's get to work

ypercubeᵀᴹ

12:46 PM

Tetraphobia

Tetraphobia (from Greek τετράς—tetras, "four" and φόβος—phobos, "fear") is the practice of avoiding instances of the number 4. It is a superstition most common in East Asian nations. == Rationale == The Chinese word for four (四, pinyin: sì, jyutping: sei3), sounds quite similar to the word for death (死, pinyin: sǐ, jyutping: sei2), in many varieties of Chinese. Similarly, the Sino-Japanese, Sino-Korean, and Sino-Vietnamese words for four, shi (し, Japanese), and sa (사, Korean), sound similar or identical to death in each language (see Korean numerals, Japanese numerals, Vietnamese numerals). Special...

random Internet finding of the day

4 is avoided in some East Asia cultures.

Had never heard of that before

gbn

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Superstitious bollocks. Like 13 or Friday 13th

ypercubeᵀᴹ

yeah

> When Beijing lost its bid to stage the 2000 Olympic Games, it was speculated that the reason China did not pursue a bid for the following 2004 Games was due to the unpopularity of the number 4 in China. Instead, the city waited another four years, and would eventually host the 2008 Olympic Games, the number eight being a lucky number in Chinese culture.

Luckily none of their officials considered that Olympic Games are held every 4 years.

Paul White

I wonder what they use for a random number

ypercubeᵀᴹ

Paul White

Crazy.

ypercubeᵀᴹ

12:58 PM

where fears of 4 and 13 blend ...

Paul White

Where's 14?

Oh I suppose that has a 4 in it.

bluefeet

@ypercubeᵀᴹ If I saw that, I'd probably exit the elevator and use the stairs

Paul White

The stairs are dangerous. Every 4th, 13th, 14th... step is missing

3

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@PaulWhite yeah. It says that it's not uncommon for high building to skip the whole 40 to 49th floors

bluefeet

lol

Paul White

12:59 PM

@ypercubeᵀᴹ For goodness' sake

bluefeet

@PaulWhite lots of jumping is needed

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@PaulWhite did you mean "Four goodness' sake"?

4

Paul White

Ha! I wish that had occurred to me.

dezso

@ypercubeᵀᴹ hm, that opens an interesting business opportunity. I am going to sell flats on those floors

sp_BlitzErik

2:08 PM

@ypercubeᵀᴹ there's a math museum in nyc with a 0 based elevator

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@sp_BlitzErik 0 based? What does that mean?

sp_BlitzErik

also i lived in a building in chinatown that skipped any floor number with 4 in it

@ypercubeᵀᴹ the floor numbers

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@sp_BlitzErik Most elevators in Greece show 0 or ΙΣΟΓΕΙΟ (Ground).

McNets

I usually left 1 out of 4 servers inactive.

ypercubeᵀᴹ

What do they usually show in the US?

sp_BlitzErik

2:10 PM

1, b for basement, l for lobby, ll for lower lobby

ypercubeᵀᴹ

So b is basement is ground floor?

sp_BlitzErik

yeah

ypercubeᵀᴹ

or underground?

sp_BlitzErik

like how you use a for atlantis

:D

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@sp_BlitzErik User Voice: sqlserver.uservoice.com/forums/170888-general

ypercubeᵀᴹ

2:13 PM

Totally confusing for me

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@ypercubeᵀᴹ b is basement, g is ground

They aren't necessarily the same

but could be?

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft ok. It would be -1 and 0 in modern elevators in Greece.

Tom V

@ypercubeᵀᴹ The US elevator logic is confusing for europeans

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@ypercubeᵀᴹ American's aren't good with numbers, that'd just confuse them!

Tom V

I suppose it's because they call it "floors" and we call it "étages"

sp_BlitzErik

2:14 PM

why? they go up and down?

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@TomV "logic" ...

sp_BlitzErik

i've been to europe, they do the same thing

Tom V

where an étage (or whatever you call it in greek) is by definition not the Parterre (ground floor)

-1, 0, 1, 2 etc

McNets

Here you can find a 'P' for ground floor.

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

That's just nonsensical

P is obviously for the DBA penthouse suite

ypercubeᵀᴹ

2:19 PM

@TomV I'm reading about it

Storey

A storey (British English) or story (American English; see spelling differences) is any level part of a building with a floor that could be used by people (for living, work, storage, recreation, etc.). The plurals are "storeys" and "stories" respectively. The terms "floor", "level", or "deck" are used in a similar way, except that it is usual to talk of a "24-storey building", but "the 13th floor". The floor at ground or street level is called the "ground floor" in many places. The words "storey" and "floor" exclude levels of the building that are not covered by a roof, such as the terrace on the...

Apparently, it's one case where they agree with the Soviets !

McNets

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft haha P = Planta baja = Floor 0

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

Hold on while I edit that....

Wikipedia, editing out what you don't like since 2002

@ypercubeᵀᴹ You should go to Pittsburg, nothing there is level... and ground level on one side of the building is basement on the other side...

Tom V

@McNets Baixa in Catalan?

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft that's a problem in many other places, yes.

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

Super frustrating "oh here I am on ground floor, but not street level? wtf?"

sp_BlitzErik

2:22 PM

just jump out a window

McNets

@TomV yes

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@sp_BlitzErik Wouldn't actually be the first time I would have done that...

McNets

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft maybe a irked husband?

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

That has happened, but I didn't leave through the window... kitchen sliding door.

It was a dare to jump out of the 3rd floor window in high-school

McNets

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft mmmmm there are knives on the kitchen...

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

2:26 PM

I also locked myself out of my childhood house

Had to climb to the roof, open a window, and jump in

Yeah, but I got out before anyone knew lol

sp_BlitzErik

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft should i file my thing there or was the demo i sent last night enough?

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@sp_BlitzErik I think we're good for now...

ty :)

My mother appreciates it

sp_BlitzErik

:D

Joe Obbish

2:44 PM

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft are you cheating on me?

WhatsThePoint

can anyone explain this?

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@JoeObbish I'm polyamorous

WhatsThePoint

sp_BlitzErik

@WhatsThePoint looks like herpes.

bluefeet

@sp_BlitzErik um, gross

WhatsThePoint

2:45 PM

it probably is

sp_BlitzErik

if you want to format dates you need to convert them to strings

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

LOL

Joe Obbish

@WhatsThePoint dbfiddle.uk

WhatsThePoint

@sp_BlitzErik cheers that workd

sp_BlitzErik

@WhatsThePoint yeehaw

@JoeObbish hope that helps

Joe Obbish

2:51 PM

@sp_BlitzErik if you teach a man to fish he'll never post a screenshot of code again

2

sp_BlitzErik

your optimism is a constant source of joy for me

ypercubeᵀᴹ

0

Q: What is current status of Postgresql?

We had used PostgreSQL back in 2007 thru 2010 for our backend. We were happy with the performance back then. I am with another company now and building their backend for their application server. Its been a few years so I need to know: Is it still non-proprietary? Is it still open-source? I...

postgresql

McNets

3:07 PM

Do you know any backup tool compatible with Glacier?

Zane

Morning folks!

McNets

Evening somewhere

Simon Righarts

@McNets: if you can find a backup tool compatible with S3, you can then set policies on the S3 bucket to glacier-ise stuff

McNets

@SimonRigharts thanks

I need a long-term cloud backup for about 3TB - 4TB

Simon Righarts

online-tech-tips.com/computer-tips/… from my memory this looks like it should work. Just don't set an expiration in the policy because that deletes it permanently

Glacier is $4-$6 (dependent on region) per TB per month

https://dba.stackexchange.com/questions/195177/sql-sevrer-db-migration-plan

Would it be out of line to suggest "hire an actual expert for this"?

hot2use

3:54 PM

dates suck

ypercubeᵀᴹ

4:23 PM

even hot dates?

McNets

4:52 PM

53

Q: How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation?

I have a female coworker (superior technically but in another department.) We've worked together for about 4.5 years and have been become pretty good friends, we'll always chat in the kitchen at work and occasionally see each other outside of work for drinks or whatnot. Recently she confided ...

friends work-environment relationships

@ypercubeᵀᴹ a hot date

Andy K

@McNets damn...

#lmao

cya

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@JoeObbish I may be talking nonsense, but would an index on (ImageTaken, ID) INCLUDE (ImageProjected) look reasonable to you?

No idea what the actual problem is. The two plans look the same to me.

Talking about this question

4

Q: Empty result takes longer with all columns included

I'm executing a query every 1 second and most of the time it returns no results (SQL generated by Entity Framework): SELECT TOP (5) [Extent1].[ID] AS [ID], ***30 more columns*** FROM ParentTable AS [Extent1] WHERE ([Extent1].[ImageTaken] = 1) AND ([Extent1].[ImageProjected] <> 1) A...

sql-server query-performance entity-framework

Joe Obbish

@ypercubeᵀᴹ frankly I don't get why we're even getting a merge join there

oh

I bet it's the row goal

I don't think that he needs more indexes based on the cardinality estimates

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@McNets I literally laughed out loud..... wow...

Joe Obbish

there's only one unique row from the query in the EXISTS

I just don't have an answer to the question as asked. Extra columns shouldn't matter for a clustered index scan

ypercubeᵀᴹ

5:07 PM

@McNets it's usually the workspase.se that provides with such hot ... material!

Joe Obbish

I'm trying to look at spinlocks

someone send help

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

I'd start by getting the wait stats for the query

If that doesn't yield anything my guess would be the fact that the TDS stream doesn't have to include all the other columns

Joe Obbish

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft but the query returns 0 rows?

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

even if there is no data, you have to include the column and the data type

Joe Obbish

hm

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

5:15 PM

it doesn't know there isn't any data right now

Joe Obbish

execution plan says the extra cpu time is spent on the scan

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

I didn't look at the plans

Joe Obbish

I know, that's why I pointed that out :)

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

:) did they give actual or estimated plans?

Joe Obbish

actual

ypercubeᵀᴹ

5:17 PM

the AND ([Extent1].[ImageProjected] <> 1) is weird, too. It should be .. = 0 since it's a bit column.

although that is unlikely to affect the plans, without indexes

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@JoeObbish I should probably just read it since you were nice enough to link it :)

Forrest

@JoeObbish Dumb question - are you getting that from the XML? I'm looking in there and can't find it.

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

I just looked and the plans are identical... the only thing I notice is that the output list is significantly longer...

Joe Obbish

@Forrest yes

check cpu time at the operator level

you can see it in SSMS too under time statistics or something

Forrest

@JoeObbish Found it - thanks!

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

5:24 PM

@JoeObbish ugh you're making me do work :(

Where' my easy button at...

I'm going ot mail it to you

@sp_BlitzErik she's taking a look at it... I'm intrigued.. and by that I mean it's lunch time.

sp_BlitzErik

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft time for thirdsteak

Joe Obbish

if you want to help with something you should help me with my imagined spinlock issues

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@sp_BlitzErik I legit eat the same thing every meal while I figure out these allergies

1x 8-10 ounce steak, 1x can of corn, 16 ounces of water

popcorn and strawberries as a snack

Although I did make some new Jerky

@JoeObbish I would expect the clustered index to potentially take longer with a longer column list, yes

@JoeObbish Why you going and breaking spinlocks now?

Joe Obbish

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft but why

sp_BlitzErik

i wish i could talk my wife into letting me eat steak at every meal

Joe Obbish

5:29 PM

logical read count is the exact same

no rows are returned from the scan

I couldn't repro it

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft spinlocks are breaking me

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft why is that? Can leaf pages be skipped if we need only the CI values and not all the columns?

sp_BlitzErik

i thought spinlocks didn't really exist

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Because I don't know what the implementation is and would stupidly except if the predicate wasn't pushed down to the SE that the entire row would need to be cracked and read

Joe Obbish

@sp_BlitzErik what

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft my bad theory is that it's related to express edition and float columns

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@JoeObbish Blame it on express - I like it

Joe Obbish

5:39 PM

well I can't repro it

there should be a song about spinlocks

spin, spin, spin your lock

that's all I got so far

sp_BlitzErik

you spin me right round baby right round like a buffer latch round round round round

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

6:00 PM

You spin be round and round, I can't seem to acquire you

I'm doing a ton of work but all for naught

I'll back off, exponentially, and fade into the errorlog

more of a spoken poem I guess

sp_BlitzErik

i'm never taking any of you to karaoke

Joe Obbish

someone make it rhyme

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

You don't want to hear my cow in the throws of death voice?

I should make it a haiku instead

"Sean, are you bleating or singing?"

the answer is... "yes"

sp_BlitzErik

most of the music i listen to sounds like that

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@sp_BlitzErik It's called "Nature" though I don't think any exists around NYC

sp_BlitzErik

6:04 PM

we have an upstate, you know

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

I've been to Cuba

...

New York

over there by Canada...

also known as Buffalo

sp_BlitzErik

christ even i've never been there

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

yeah and Salamanca

sp_BlitzErik

are you listing reasons i wouldn't wanna be a pfe or places you've been for work?

i mean both

sorry

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

HAHAHAHA

Those visits were for funsies

sp_BlitzErik

6:06 PM

-_-

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

I have a bunch of family in Buffalo, who own a bunch of land and cabins on a lake in Cuba

hilariously they make game calls

sp_BlitzErik

ew you patched 08 and 08r2 for meltdown and spectre

JUST KILL THOSE THINGS MAN

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

so we go on the land and try to call in... well... game

sp_BlitzErik

bring them to your family's cabin

iykwim

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@sp_BlitzErik I tried, but all of the 3rd party vendors complained they were just getting ready to upgrade to 2008 from 7.0 so we had to keep it around

sp_BlitzErik

6:08 PM

turd party vendors is more like it am i right

2

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@sp_BlitzErik lol

and also, lol

When I was at my place before MS, I had a vendor tell me they wouldn't support anything except 2005. When I asked for their roadmap, they said they didn't plan on upgrading anytime soon since 2005 was supported for the next X years. sigh.

So I worked with my security to find all the exploits in their software so that we didn't pick them as a vendor.

It took me 2 weeks to hashcat their password, but I got it...

sp_BlitzErik

you're a good man

in related news, i'm counting down to 2019 when 08 and 08r2 are out of mainstream support

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

@sp_BlitzErik Why? You're still going to help customers using it lol

sp_BlitzErik

we cut off 2005 people THE DAY it went out of support

what are you loco

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

:applause:

@sp_BlitzErik You've met me, so... yes, yes I am

si, soy loco

sp_BlitzErik

6:18 PM

we didn't get to hang out enough at pass! make them pick my abstracts next year so i can stay for free. hahaha

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

Depending on how things go, I might be at more events...

sp_BlitzErik

sql sat nyc?

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

We're not even allowed to submit for PASS

sp_BlitzErik

well clearly you're underqualified

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

I'd love to come, when is it?

@sp_BlitzErik Without a doubt, they saw my name and put it right into the trash folder

sp_BlitzErik

6:20 PM

sqlsaturday.com/716/eventhome.aspx

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

I'll put it on my calendar, no promises...

who is a mod that like deleting comments?

sp_BlitzErik

all mods

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

someone remove all the comments, from here dba.stackexchange.com/questions/195078/…

In other news... anyone know the password length of brighthouse wireless access points?

sp_BlitzErik

binary(8)

Andriy M

You can flag any comment in the thread, choose "in need of moderator intervention" and request that the entire thread be deleted

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

6:24 PM

@AndriyM perfect! I'm such a noob at these controls...

ty sir

totally flagged @sp_BlitzErik comment

sp_BlitzErik

good

useless butthole

Lamak

you should try a laxative

sp_BlitzErik

We've found that some queries will write to the audit log the use of a scalar function for every row in a result set.

3

Q: How to filter out Scalar Valued Function usage from SQL Server Audit Data?

We have a SQL Server database which has a database audit specification which audits all execute actions on the database. CREATE DATABASE AUDIT SPECIFICATION [dbAudit] FOR SERVER AUDIT [servAudit] ADD (EXECUTE ON DATABASE::[DatabaseName] BY [public]) We've found that some queries will write to ...

sql-server audit

looool

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

ummmmmmm

Joe Obbish

@sp_BlitzErik am I invited

sp_BlitzErik

6:36 PM

@JoeObbish only if you bake me some brownies

Tom V

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Paul hates comments

He's no fun

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

LOL

sp_BlitzErik

where is paul

i need to talk about my new favorite band from 1981

Joe Obbish

@sp_BlitzErik were you even alive then?

sp_BlitzErik

i was

i was born the very night our savior ronald reagan was elected

Zane

6:46 PM

@sp_BlitzErik we had an issue where this brought one of our systems to the ground.

They fired up a extended events trace that captured all statements completed.

We still have man Scalar functions that get called on procs that run several hundred million row queries.

Then you've got the fact that the query optimizer can't eliminate rows if a scalar is being used on a predicate and you are toast.

I think the tool was called abeneshu or something like that but all it was recording was just millions of scalar function calls.

sp_BlitzErik

38

Q: Is there any benefit to SCHEMABINDING a function beyond Halloween Protection?

It is well-known that SCHEMABINDING a function can avoid an unnecessary spool in update plans: If you are using simple T-SQL UDFs that do not touch any tables (i.e. do not access data), make sure you specify the SCHEMABINDING option during creation of the UDFs. This will make the UDFs schema-...

sql-server functions

Zane

I'm going to have to read that full Q/A when I get home since we've blocked SO images in our security teams infinite wisdom.

sp_BlitzErik

7:12 PM

@Zane it's just paul talking to himself as usual

:)

Evan Carroll

7:24 PM

HALLO MY PEOPLE

Tom V

@sp_BlitzErik first sign of dementia

Evan Carroll

If I port OrcaMDF to C, I'll be able to use a Foreign Data Wrapper to read offline Microsoft SQL databases.

That would be super cute.

Paul White

@sp_BlitzErik O RLY

sp_BlitzErik

@PaulWhite just a wild guess

Paul White

I thought you wanted to talk 1981

sp_BlitzErik

7:38 PM

i do

can we talk about department s?

Department S - Is Vic There (1981)

►

Evan Carroll

zzzz

sp_BlitzErik

@EvanCarroll go eat a brownie you toddler

Paul White

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Done

Evan Carroll

@sp_BlitzErik you no culture.

Brownie and Ice Cream and the stuff of the Gods..

All of them.

On one side of the spectrum: golf and pineapple pizza., on the other: brownies and ice cream.

sp_BlitzErik

you're all on the gross shelf

Evan Carroll

7:43 PM

You probably like french food

sp_BlitzErik

i like any meal that involves red meat so undercooked it still remembers its name

Evan Carroll

I'm down with that..

sp_BlitzErik

welcome to france, pal

Evan Carroll

No way.

France is the land of flakey crap bread, white crap bread, butter, and other gross stuff

sp_BlitzErik

BON JOUR EVAN!

mon petite chou fleur

Evan Carroll

7:47 PM

Texas is where cows are born to be eaten alive

Lamak

@sp_BlitzErik what about ñachi?

Evan Carroll

King of the Hill - How To Grill a Steak

►

sp_BlitzErik

@Lamak that looks cooked

gbn

@EvanCarroll Horse meat. Delicious

Lamak

@sp_BlitzErik naa, just blood and lemon juice to make it jello like

Evan Carroll

7:50 PM

Hank HILL meets George FOREMAN.mpg

►

Paul White

8:12 PM

@sp_BlitzErik Enjoyed that thanks. Don't ask how, but it led me to this youtube.com/watch?v=-dQV_8hhKZg

Tom V

@EvanCarroll lol a Yankee dissing French bread

Evan Carroll

You don't call someone from Texas a Yankee. That's fightin' words.

This method of storing decimal in SQL Server is pretty damn clever actually.

Paul White

Shame it's incompatible with .net

Evan Carroll

In response to the storage of SQL Server decimal?

Paul White

yep

Evan Carroll

8:17 PM

Well, I'm not sure it's effective in processing. I imagine its actually slow as poop to do math on decimal with this format.

But it's clever. ;)

Best video on SQL Server I've ever seen: vimeo.com/43659054

gbn

@EvanCarroll Croissants at dawn then?

Evan Carroll

gross, may your tea be rancid and may you promptly be pushed to discover the bliss that is Murica: coffee, brownies and ice cream, diabetes, and coronary heart disease.

@JackDouglas good catch on that answer

sp_BlitzErik

8:59 PM

@PaulWhite not at all a bad place to end up!

Sean Gallardy - Microsoft

10:11 PM

@PaulWhite ty sir :)

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The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®