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1:12 AM
@sp_BlitzErik parallel hash join against a very small build table
EZ
 
@JoeObbish you have your ways and i have mine
 
what did you do?
 
always after my IP
:D
 
well I figured it must be exceptional if it took you FIVE MINUTES to write up
but fine then
 
it is kinda neat because i can change the algorithm by changing the top
	SELECT COUNT(*) AS records
	FROM (
		SELECT TOP 1000 p.OwnerUserId
		FROM dbo.Posts AS p
		JOIN dbo.Comments AS c
		ON c.UserId = p.OwnerUserId
		AND c.PostId = p.Id
		ORDER BY p.Id DESC
	) AS x
	JOIN dbo.Users AS u
	ON u.Id = x.OwnerUserId
 
1:15 AM
well, right
so ask me how my day went
 
how did you day go, dear?
 
we ran into a new bottleneck
that someone from MSFT wrote one sentence about in 2015
 
i hope it was a whiskey bottle
 
no
it was CCI related
so you can be happy about that
 
what was the one sentence?
 
1:17 AM
"... a logical resource bottleneck such as contention on a ROWGROUP_FLUSH lock which can be induced by slower disk IO on the Log drive."
 
i told you that you needed xtremio
and you made fun of me
 
1:49 AM
@sp_BlitzErik no I didn't
 
 
2 hours later…
3:33 AM
this question could use some love:
1
Q: Empty result takes longer with all columns included

MikeHI'm executing a query every 1 second and most of the time it returns no results (SQL generated by Entity Framework): SELECT TOP (5) [Extent1].[ID] AS [ID], ***30 more columns*** FROM ParentTable AS [Extent1] WHERE ([Extent1].[ImageTaken] = 1) AND ([Extent1].[ImageProjected] <> 1) A...

 
4:17 AM
@PaulWhite Dima told me that TF 2418 disables serial match mode processing
 
 
4 hours later…
7:52 AM
g morning
 
8:17 AM
morning everybody
 
 
1 hour later…
9:29 AM
Please do not crioss-post: dba.stackexchange.com/questions/195132/… One question, in one site, is enough. You are only creating extra work for users and moderators with the double posts. — ypercubeᵀᴹ 1 min ago
(close or migrate)
 
9:54 AM
@ypercubeᵀᴹ typocube!
 
10:41 AM
Morning all
 
Thanks @dezso
 
11:38 AM
@hot2use np
 
12:15 PM
Migrated:
0
Q: Deleting from multiple tables with foreign constraints in mysql

Shibin KalliattI have three tables as seen below. Tables what my requirement is, when I delete a row from a donate_club table, I need to delete all the entries related to this row from 'donationRequest' and 'committments'. Here 'commitments' table has a foreign key relation ship with 'donatinRequest' table. S...

Let's get to work
 
12:46 PM
Tetraphobia (from Greek τετράς—tetras, "four" and φόβος—phobos, "fear") is the practice of avoiding instances of the number 4. It is a superstition most common in East Asian nations. == Rationale == The Chinese word for four (四, pinyin: sì, jyutping: sei3), sounds quite similar to the word for death (死, pinyin: sǐ, jyutping: sei2), in many varieties of Chinese. Similarly, the Sino-Japanese, Sino-Korean, and Sino-Vietnamese words for four, shi (し, Japanese), and sa (사, Korean), sound similar or identical to death in each language (see Korean numerals, Japanese numerals, Vietnamese numerals). Special...
random Internet finding of the day
4 is avoided in some East Asia cultures.
Had never heard of that before
 
gbn
@ypercubeᵀᴹ Superstitious bollocks. Like 13 or Friday 13th
 
yeah
> When Beijing lost its bid to stage the 2000 Olympic Games, it was speculated that the reason China did not pursue a bid for the following 2004 Games was due to the unpopularity of the number 4 in China. Instead, the city waited another four years, and would eventually host the 2008 Olympic Games, the number eight being a lucky number in Chinese culture.
Luckily none of their officials considered that Olympic Games are held every 4 years.
 
I wonder what they use for a random number
 
Crazy.
 
12:58 PM
where fears of 4 and 13 blend ...
 
Where's 14?
Oh I suppose that has a 4 in it.
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ If I saw that, I'd probably exit the elevator and use the stairs
 
The stairs are dangerous. Every 4th, 13th, 14th... step is missing
3
 
@PaulWhite yeah. It says that it's not uncommon for high building to skip the whole 40 to 49th floors
 
lol
 
12:59 PM
@ypercubeᵀᴹ For goodness' sake
 
@PaulWhite lots of jumping is needed
 
@PaulWhite did you mean "Four goodness' sake"?
4
 
Ha! I wish that had occurred to me.
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ hm, that opens an interesting business opportunity. I am going to sell flats on those floors
 
2:08 PM
@ypercubeᵀᴹ there's a math museum in nyc with a 0 based elevator
 
@sp_BlitzErik 0 based? What does that mean?
 
also i lived in a building in chinatown that skipped any floor number with 4 in it
@ypercubeᵀᴹ the floor numbers
 
@sp_BlitzErik Most elevators in Greece show 0 or ΙΣΟΓΕΙΟ (Ground).
 
I usually left 1 out of 4 servers inactive.
 
What do they usually show in the US?
 
2:10 PM
1, b for basement, l for lobby, ll for lower lobby
 
So b is basement is ground floor?
 
yeah
 
or underground?
 
like how you use a for atlantis
:D
 
2:13 PM
Totally confusing for me
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ b is basement, g is ground
They aren't necessarily the same
but could be?
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft ok. It would be -1 and 0 in modern elevators in Greece.
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ The US elevator logic is confusing for europeans
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ American's aren't good with numbers, that'd just confuse them!
 
I suppose it's because they call it "floors" and we call it "étages"
 
2:14 PM
why? they go up and down?
 
@TomV "logic" ...
 
i've been to europe, they do the same thing
 
where an étage (or whatever you call it in greek) is by definition not the Parterre (ground floor)
-1, 0, 1, 2 etc
 
Here you can find a 'P' for ground floor.
 
That's just nonsensical
P is obviously for the DBA penthouse suite
 
2:19 PM
@TomV I'm reading about it
A storey (British English) or story (American English; see spelling differences) is any level part of a building with a floor that could be used by people (for living, work, storage, recreation, etc.). The plurals are "storeys" and "stories" respectively. The terms "floor", "level", or "deck" are used in a similar way, except that it is usual to talk of a "24-storey building", but "the 13th floor". The floor at ground or street level is called the "ground floor" in many places. The words "storey" and "floor" exclude levels of the building that are not covered by a roof, such as the terrace on the...
Apparently, it's one case where they agree with the Soviets !
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft haha P = Planta baja = Floor 0
 
Hold on while I edit that....
Wikipedia, editing out what you don't like since 2002
@ypercubeᵀᴹ You should go to Pittsburg, nothing there is level... and ground level on one side of the building is basement on the other side...
 
@McNets Baixa in Catalan?
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft that's a problem in many other places, yes.
 
Super frustrating "oh here I am on ground floor, but not street level? wtf?"
 
2:22 PM
just jump out a window
 
@TomV yes
 
@sp_BlitzErik Wouldn't actually be the first time I would have done that...
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft maybe a irked husband?
 
That has happened, but I didn't leave through the window... kitchen sliding door.
It was a dare to jump out of the 3rd floor window in high-school
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft mmmmm there are knives on the kitchen...
 
2:26 PM
I also locked myself out of my childhood house
Had to climb to the roof, open a window, and jump in
Yeah, but I got out before anyone knew lol
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft should i file my thing there or was the demo i sent last night enough?
 
@sp_BlitzErik I think we're good for now...
ty :)
My mother appreciates it
 
2:44 PM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft are you cheating on me?
 
can anyone explain this?
 
@JoeObbish I'm polyamorous
 
@WhatsThePoint looks like herpes.
 
@sp_BlitzErik um, gross
 
2:45 PM
it probably is
 
if you want to format dates you need to convert them to strings
 
@WhatsThePoint dbfiddle.uk
 
@sp_BlitzErik cheers that workd
 
@WhatsThePoint yeehaw
@JoeObbish hope that helps
 
2:51 PM
@sp_BlitzErik if you teach a man to fish he'll never post a screenshot of code again
2
 
your optimism is a constant source of joy for me
 
0
Q: What is current status of Postgresql?

0tyranny 0povertyWe had used PostgreSQL back in 2007 thru 2010 for our backend. We were happy with the performance back then. I am with another company now and building their backend for their application server. Its been a few years so I need to know: Is it still non-proprietary? Is it still open-source? I...

 
3:07 PM
Do you know any backup tool compatible with Glacier?
 
Morning folks!
 
Evening somewhere
 
@McNets: if you can find a backup tool compatible with S3, you can then set policies on the S3 bucket to glacier-ise stuff
 
@SimonRigharts thanks
I need a long-term cloud backup for about 3TB - 4TB
 
online-tech-tips.com/computer-tips/… from my memory this looks like it should work. Just don't set an expiration in the policy because that deletes it permanently
Glacier is $4-$6 (dependent on region) per TB per month
https://dba.stackexchange.com/questions/195177/sql-sevrer-db-migration-plan

Would it be out of line to suggest "hire an actual expert for this"?
 
3:54 PM
dates suck
 
4:23 PM
even hot dates?
 
4:52 PM
53
Q: How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation?

SteveI have a female coworker (superior technically but in another department.) We've worked together for about 4.5 years and have been become pretty good friends, we'll always chat in the kitchen at work and occasionally see each other outside of work for drinks or whatnot. Recently she confided ...

@ypercubeᵀᴹ a hot date
 
@McNets damn...
#lmao
cya
 
@JoeObbish I may be talking nonsense, but would an index on (ImageTaken, ID) INCLUDE (ImageProjected) look reasonable to you?
No idea what the actual problem is. The two plans look the same to me.
Talking about this question
4
Q: Empty result takes longer with all columns included

MikeHI'm executing a query every 1 second and most of the time it returns no results (SQL generated by Entity Framework): SELECT TOP (5) [Extent1].[ID] AS [ID], ***30 more columns*** FROM ParentTable AS [Extent1] WHERE ([Extent1].[ImageTaken] = 1) AND ([Extent1].[ImageProjected] <> 1) A...

 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ frankly I don't get why we're even getting a merge join there
oh
I bet it's the row goal
I don't think that he needs more indexes based on the cardinality estimates
 
@McNets I literally laughed out loud..... wow...
 
there's only one unique row from the query in the EXISTS
I just don't have an answer to the question as asked. Extra columns shouldn't matter for a clustered index scan
 
5:07 PM
@McNets it's usually the workspase.se that provides with such hot ... material!
 
I'm trying to look at spinlocks
someone send help
 
I'd start by getting the wait stats for the query
If that doesn't yield anything my guess would be the fact that the TDS stream doesn't have to include all the other columns
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft but the query returns 0 rows?
 
even if there is no data, you have to include the column and the data type
 
5:15 PM
it doesn't know there isn't any data right now
 
execution plan says the extra cpu time is spent on the scan
 
I didn't look at the plans
 
I know, that's why I pointed that out :)
 
:) did they give actual or estimated plans?
 
actual
 
5:17 PM
the AND ([Extent1].[ImageProjected] <> 1) is weird, too. It should be .. = 0 since it's a bit column.
although that is unlikely to affect the plans, without indexes
 
@JoeObbish I should probably just read it since you were nice enough to link it :)
 
@JoeObbish Dumb question - are you getting that from the XML? I'm looking in there and can't find it.
 
I just looked and the plans are identical... the only thing I notice is that the output list is significantly longer...
 
@Forrest yes
check cpu time at the operator level
you can see it in SSMS too under time statistics or something
 
@JoeObbish Found it - thanks!
 
5:24 PM
@JoeObbish ugh you're making me do work :(
Where' my easy button at...
I'm going ot mail it to you
@sp_BlitzErik she's taking a look at it... I'm intrigued.. and by that I mean it's lunch time.
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft time for thirdsteak
 
if you want to help with something you should help me with my imagined spinlock issues
 
@sp_BlitzErik I legit eat the same thing every meal while I figure out these allergies
1x 8-10 ounce steak, 1x can of corn, 16 ounces of water
popcorn and strawberries as a snack
Although I did make some new Jerky
@JoeObbish I would expect the clustered index to potentially take longer with a longer column list, yes
@JoeObbish Why you going and breaking spinlocks now?
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft but why
 
i wish i could talk my wife into letting me eat steak at every meal
 
5:29 PM
logical read count is the exact same
no rows are returned from the scan
I couldn't repro it
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft spinlocks are breaking me
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft why is that? Can leaf pages be skipped if we need only the CI values and not all the columns?
 
i thought spinlocks didn't really exist
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ Because I don't know what the implementation is and would stupidly except if the predicate wasn't pushed down to the SE that the entire row would need to be cracked and read
 
@sp_BlitzErik what
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft my bad theory is that it's related to express edition and float columns
 
@JoeObbish Blame it on express - I like it
 
5:39 PM
well I can't repro it
there should be a song about spinlocks
spin, spin, spin your lock
that's all I got so far
 
you spin me right round baby right round like a buffer latch round round round round
 
6:00 PM
You spin be round and round, I can't seem to acquire you
I'm doing a ton of work but all for naught
I'll back off, exponentially, and fade into the errorlog
more of a spoken poem I guess
 
i'm never taking any of you to karaoke
 
someone make it rhyme
 
You don't want to hear my cow in the throws of death voice?
I should make it a haiku instead
"Sean, are you bleating or singing?"
the answer is... "yes"
 
most of the music i listen to sounds like that
 
@sp_BlitzErik It's called "Nature" though I don't think any exists around NYC
 
6:04 PM
we have an upstate, you know
 
I've been to Cuba
...
New York
over there by Canada...
also known as Buffalo
 
christ even i've never been there
 
yeah and Salamanca
 
are you listing reasons i wouldn't wanna be a pfe or places you've been for work?
i mean both
sorry
 
HAHAHAHA
Those visits were for funsies
 
6:06 PM
-_-
 
I have a bunch of family in Buffalo, who own a bunch of land and cabins on a lake in Cuba
hilariously they make game calls
 
ew you patched 08 and 08r2 for meltdown and spectre
JUST KILL THOSE THINGS MAN
 
so we go on the land and try to call in... well... game
 
bring them to your family's cabin
iykwim
 
@sp_BlitzErik I tried, but all of the 3rd party vendors complained they were just getting ready to upgrade to 2008 from 7.0 so we had to keep it around
 
6:08 PM
turd party vendors is more like it am i right
2
 
@sp_BlitzErik lol
and also, lol
When I was at my place before MS, I had a vendor tell me they wouldn't support anything except 2005. When I asked for their roadmap, they said they didn't plan on upgrading anytime soon since 2005 was supported for the next X years. sigh.
So I worked with my security to find all the exploits in their software so that we didn't pick them as a vendor.
It took me 2 weeks to hashcat their password, but I got it...
 
you're a good man
in related news, i'm counting down to 2019 when 08 and 08r2 are out of mainstream support
 
@sp_BlitzErik Why? You're still going to help customers using it lol
 
we cut off 2005 people THE DAY it went out of support
what are you loco
 
:applause:
@sp_BlitzErik You've met me, so... yes, yes I am
si, soy loco
 
6:18 PM
we didn't get to hang out enough at pass! make them pick my abstracts next year so i can stay for free. hahaha
 
Depending on how things go, I might be at more events...
 
sql sat nyc?
 
We're not even allowed to submit for PASS
 
well clearly you're underqualified
 
I'd love to come, when is it?
@sp_BlitzErik Without a doubt, they saw my name and put it right into the trash folder
 
I'll put it on my calendar, no promises...
who is a mod that like deleting comments?
 
all mods
 
someone remove all the comments, from here dba.stackexchange.com/questions/195078/…
In other news... anyone know the password length of brighthouse wireless access points?
 
binary(8)
 
You can flag any comment in the thread, choose "in need of moderator intervention" and request that the entire thread be deleted
 
6:24 PM
@AndriyM perfect! I'm such a noob at these controls...
ty sir
totally flagged @sp_BlitzErik comment
 
good
useless butthole
 
you should try a laxative
 
We've found that some queries will write to the audit log the use of a scalar function for every row in a result set.
3
Q: How to filter out Scalar Valued Function usage from SQL Server Audit Data?

Mark IannucciWe have a SQL Server database which has a database audit specification which audits all execute actions on the database. CREATE DATABASE AUDIT SPECIFICATION [dbAudit] FOR SERVER AUDIT [servAudit] ADD (EXECUTE ON DATABASE::[DatabaseName] BY [public]) We've found that some queries will write to ...

looool
 
@sp_BlitzErik am I invited
 
6:36 PM
@JoeObbish only if you bake me some brownies
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Paul hates comments
He's no fun
 
where is paul
i need to talk about my new favorite band from 1981
 
@sp_BlitzErik were you even alive then?
 
i was
i was born the very night our savior ronald reagan was elected
 
6:46 PM
@sp_BlitzErik we had an issue where this brought one of our systems to the ground.
They fired up a extended events trace that captured all statements completed.
We still have man Scalar functions that get called on procs that run several hundred million row queries.
Then you've got the fact that the query optimizer can't eliminate rows if a scalar is being used on a predicate and you are toast.
I think the tool was called abeneshu or something like that but all it was recording was just millions of scalar function calls.
 
38
Q: Is there any benefit to SCHEMABINDING a function beyond Halloween Protection?

Paul WhiteIt is well-known that SCHEMABINDING a function can avoid an unnecessary spool in update plans: If you are using simple T-SQL UDFs that do not touch any tables (i.e. do not access data), make sure you specify the SCHEMABINDING option during creation of the UDFs. This will make the UDFs schema-...

 
I'm going to have to read that full Q/A when I get home since we've blocked SO images in our security teams infinite wisdom.
 
7:12 PM
@Zane it's just paul talking to himself as usual
:)
 
7:24 PM
HALLO MY PEOPLE
 
@sp_BlitzErik first sign of dementia
 
If I port OrcaMDF to C, I'll be able to use a Foreign Data Wrapper to read offline Microsoft SQL databases.
That would be super cute.
 
@sp_BlitzErik O RLY
 
@PaulWhite just a wild guess
 
I thought you wanted to talk 1981
 
7:38 PM
i do
can we talk about department s?
 
zzzz
 
@EvanCarroll go eat a brownie you toddler
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Done
 
@sp_BlitzErik you no culture.
Brownie and Ice Cream and the stuff of the Gods..
All of them.
On one side of the spectrum: golf and pineapple pizza., on the other: brownies and ice cream.
 
you're all on the gross shelf
 
7:43 PM
You probably like french food
 
i like any meal that involves red meat so undercooked it still remembers its name
 
I'm down with that..
 
welcome to france, pal
 
No way.
France is the land of flakey crap bread, white crap bread, butter, and other gross stuff
 
BON JOUR EVAN!
mon petite chou fleur
 
7:47 PM
Texas is where cows are born to be eaten alive
 
@sp_BlitzErik what about ñachi?
 
@Lamak that looks cooked
 
gbn
@EvanCarroll Horse meat. Delicious
 
@sp_BlitzErik naa, just blood and lemon juice to make it jello like
 
8:12 PM
@sp_BlitzErik Enjoyed that thanks. Don't ask how, but it led me to this youtube.com/watch?v=-dQV_8hhKZg
 
@EvanCarroll lol a Yankee dissing French bread
 
You don't call someone from Texas a Yankee. That's fightin' words.
This method of storing decimal in SQL Server is pretty damn clever actually.
 
Shame it's incompatible with .net
 
In response to the storage of SQL Server decimal?
 
yep
 
8:17 PM
Well, I'm not sure it's effective in processing. I imagine its actually slow as poop to do math on decimal with this format.
But it's clever. ;)
Best video on SQL Server I've ever seen: vimeo.com/43659054
 
gbn
@EvanCarroll Croissants at dawn then?
 
gross, may your tea be rancid and may you promptly be pushed to discover the bliss that is Murica: coffee, brownies and ice cream, diabetes, and coronary heart disease.
@JackDouglas good catch on that answer
 
8:59 PM
@PaulWhite not at all a bad place to end up!
 
 
1 hour later…
10:11 PM
@PaulWhite ty sir :)
 

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