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gbn
8:34 AM
'morning all
Relevant to us? Or leave it for the PHP monkeys?
 
9:18 AM
Morning
@gbn I'd leave it with the monkeys
 
@Phil Good stuff
 
gbn
@Phil I've seen this in real life at least once
 
 
4 hours later…
1:22 PM
Grr, fire alarm. Was nippy outside
 
gbn
@Phil I've asked before, but where are you exactly, sorry?
 
Manchester
 
gbn
my home town, kind of.
 
Cool
 
gbn
But I left at age 16.
 
1:29 PM
It's much nicer than it used to be. I went to University here, then wandered to do the London thing
Got a bit sick of London, so moved back here
 
gbn
I remember my dad driving in, never stopping at red lights (that is, anticipating them and keeping rolling). Moss side, early 80s
It is better now I hear
"97 Things Every Programmer Should Know"
(from @Mitch Wheat's blog) mitch-wheat.blogspot.com
 
 
2 hours later…
gbn
3:21 PM
3
Q: Sql function to make noun plural

user927524Is there any function in SQL Server which change the noun from singular to plural form?

 
JNK
yeah i saw that
It would be cool if it existed
i can also see the confusion (kind of) if you don't know much about computers or how they work
 
gbn
@JNK never felt the need in SQL
I might have to build something and see if I can break it
 
JNK
SQL has functions to determine the name of a day of the week
this seems at least conceptually similar to a layperson
 
gbn
Your English vs our English etc
 
JNK
How do you pluralize "lorry"
is it "guvn'rs" or "guvn'r's"?
 
gbn
3:24 PM
Lorries
nope
 
JNK
I know I'm joking
Lorry is always the first idiom I come up with when comparing british english and american english
since it doesn't even mean anything over here
and it sounds like the opposite of what it is
 
gbn
you do "truck"?
 
JNK
yes
Lorry sounds like something made of lace that you put your tea and crumpets on
 
gbn
arse vs donkey
 
JNK
"My word that is a finely knitted lorry!"
 
gbn
3:26 PM
fanny meaning front or back orifice
 
JNK
arse sounds like how you pose a question
 
gbn
doiley?
I think they call it
 
JNK
yes doiley
but lorry to me sounds similar in concept
it's one of those words that sounds the opposite of what it means
 
gbn
doily, not e
 
JNK
like Pulchritude
or pulchritudinous
 
gbn
3:27 PM
which is good, no?
 
JNK
it's interesting
 
gbn
I mean, Pulchritude is positive
 
JNK
oh yes
It means extreme beauty
but it sounds like some sort of facial disfigurement
or degenerative disease
 
gbn
yep
 
JNK
I used to tell women "you have a lot of pulchritude in your facial area"
they found it confusing
 
gbn
3:30 PM
I'm not sure I'd be able to say it by the time I get to needing it
 
JNK
back on topic, I think this guy is doing something wrong:
1
Q: Columns are added in wrong order

mrabI have a encountered strange behaviour adding columns to an existing table. I run those scripts using osql several instances. Let Table a_table have initially three columns A_col, B_col and C_col. To extend this table I use the following statements: IF NOT EXISTS (SELECT COLUMN_NAME FROM INFOR...

 
gbn
I'm not in the mood to drill in too deep. I think so too, but too busy otherwise
 
JNK
im curious about it though
I'm actually not sure if column order is guaranteed, but I feel like it should be
 
gbn
it is, as far as I know. from the column_id sense in sys.columns. Not on disk of course
 
3:46 PM
Grr, I wish I'd won the "you will not virtualise my database servers" fight :/
 
JNK
that's the only thing that we have that's not a VM here
 
4:00 PM
Random performance degradation sucks. Cry
 
JNK
Yep. Good luck tracking anything down. Why did they want to virtualize?
 
We love SQL Server development over here, am I right?
 
JNK
I do!
 
gbn
never heard of it
 
check the comments here
3
Q: How can I speed up a query that orders by a calculated field?

VictoriaI will try and give an example - this is not my table structure - I'm simply trying to outline the issue in order to find a solution... Person Id, Name BrothersNames Id, Name SistersNames Id, Name PersonBrothers (join table) PersonId, BrotherNameId PersonSisters (join table) PersonId, Sister...

I dunno how many times we have to repeat it before people, especially them high rep users on SO, get it.
 
JNK
4:13 PM
I think this is a good spot for advanced query tuning
If you need to know how to get some data, SO is a good place
If you need to know how to get that data much faster, DBA is a good place
 
LOL @gbn
 
gbn
meh, too much coffee.
 
@JNK That's a good line to add to the FAQ but I suspect it wouldn't be accepted :)
 
@JNK - I completely agree. I can't wait till we change our name and BI merges in; I trust by then the remaining holdouts will stop asking why we ask and answer development questions here.
 
JNK
Bear in mind some of the "big names" or high rep users on SO would very much liek to keep things there
they are big fish there, esp. compared to the average user
 
gbn
4:21 PM
@JNK the ones with blogs to push and/or books to sell
 
@JNK Nail on head
 
JNK
here most other answerers will be less easily impressed
yes @gbn
 
gbn
</cynical>
 
JNK
and you won't get 100 upvotes on DBA for posting a simple query
that uses a cool concept like CROSS APPLY or something
but the folks who genuinely want to help, like gbn, aaron b, kiwi, etc will work out well here
 
gbn
less votes, but bigger fish in a smaller pond
 
JNK
4:23 PM
some of the others may not, but it could also be because they are busy and can't divide their time between all these sites
@gbn kind of but they are starting from scratch rep-wise
which I think would be disconerting too
 
gbn
I use stackexchange "my filters" to see all my questions on all sites
 
JNK
going from 100k+ rep to 100
havent used the filters gBN
 
@JNK Well, you, gbn, Martin, and Remus made the move.
hopefully Quassnoi and AlexK will follow
 
JNK
i like it here
 
gbn
Only @Quassnoi is 100k+
 
JNK
4:24 PM
i think alex will too
 
gbn
he's very clever too.
 
JNK
Ponies
 
gbn
yep
 
JNK
Ponies would be GREAT here
I think he's less active since losing the mod election though
did you guys notice that genesis completely disappeared after that?
 
gbn
@JNK who?
back later, off home now
 
JNK
4:26 PM
ok
We are #20 by traffic which isn't too bad
Migration alert
0
Q: What are the disadvantages of Postgresql over MSSQL?

Tomas WalekI have a DB server with one or more schematically equal databases running on MSSQL 2005. I want to migrate this server to Postgresql 8.4 (no migration to 9.x is possible due to some other reasoss). Every database has approximately 50 tables. Database tables are different, they have between 0 - co...

name is not very appropriate but question is good - basically considerations for migrating from SS to Postgres
 
@JNK yah; good for here
 
JNK
I renamed and flaggd
 
 
3 hours later…
7:54 PM
Morning gents
 
morning
 
gbn
8:30 PM
G'night
 
take care
 
8:52 PM
mm, SQL Server VLFs. current single-database record is 6000 :v
 
 
2 hours later…
10:48 PM
Hmm. Does ALTER DATABASE MODIFY FILE, when applied to a log file, 'reset' the number of VLFs inside that log file (i.e. to between 4-16 dependent on the rules), or does it do something else?
 

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