The Overlook Hotel

SteveIrwin

10:43

I have a college essay and I am done editing .Being around non native english speaker, I don't trust a lot of people I got it reviewed from..Will anyone here be willing to help give their opinion..It would be a great help.I will post it here or somewhere if that's fine with the website or the chat rules.

KitFox

12:44

Hello @Steve. I saw your question to Reg earlier in the EL&U room.

SteveIrwin

@KitFox- Yes he mentioned that people here might be able to help.

KitFox

Most of us are off writing novels this month, but today happens to be Writer's Chat day.

SteveIrwin

So it means I might be able to get some inputs on my essay here?

KitFox

Yes, yes. Sorry, I am trying to carry on two conversations at once and settle into my work day after a four-day hiatus.

SteveIrwin

Great thanks..I will upload it right away.

KitFox

12:49

You plan to post a link here?

SteveIrwin

I think we can upload documents directly..Probably I will upload a word or pdf file directly.

KitFox

I'd be surprised if you could. We usually use dropbox or pastebin or link to a personal blog post.

SteveIrwin

Ok that was not very helpful.Made a image of the pdf..Here is the dropbox link to the pdf. dl.dropbox.com/u/25365367/document_598904621.pdf

KitFox

13:16

OK, so what is the purpose of the essay?

Are you trying to get into college or grad school?

SteveIrwin

grad school.

KitFox

Where are you applying?

Oh, Stony Brook.

SteveIrwin

Yeah

KitFox

Have you had any personal interactions with Dr. Mueller?

SteveIrwin

Only by mail..a few of it. thats all ..

KitFox

13:22

Has he been generally receptive of your application, or politely neutral?

SteveIrwin

neutral..and not too polite at it.

KitFox

Your composition is much better than your spontaneous English. Have you spent a lot of time on the essay, or are you generally just more careless when chatting?

SteveIrwin

Got it reviewed by a few people..Possibly got better because of that..the first version was a mess.

KitFox

How well did you do in college? You mentioned your academic record, but it seemed like you were referring to high school.

SteveIrwin

I won't say I was among the top in my class.Trying to down play that part and focus more on the work I did while in college.

KitFox

13:32

OK. I'm trying to remember who I know in computer vision.

Is there a word limit on the essay?

Also, is there a particular reason you are applying to Stony Brook and not somewhere else?

SteveIrwin

Yes all colleges have different word limits..Might even have to reduce it to a page for a few colleges . the college has a good computer vision program

KitFox

13:49

OK. Well, why are you applying to computer science then? It looks like the computer vision lab is housed in electrical and computer engineering.

SteveIrwin

@KitFox Do you think the essay is any good?

KitFox

It is difficult to evaluate. The writing is pretty good, but the essay structure could be improved. The focus wanders somewhat.

Also it is a mistake to mention a specific professor without having a good indication that he wants to take you on as a student.

Your background seems good though. If your scores are reasonable, I think you have a good chance at being accepted.

I would recommend that you scale back your academic background and cut out the parts like "My courses at Manipal also helped me grow as an individual." They just won't care about that.

This will help bring the focus to the practical aspects of your essay.

You are interested in Computer Vision. You have certain skills and demonstrable experience. Because of your background, you have renewed interest in the field and want to pursue a career in something that requires a master's degree in computer vision.

Stony Brook is a good match because they offer that program.

Keep in mind that you selling points are:

1. that you have some experience, so you have some idea of the work involved in getting this degree.

2. that you have a purpose in getting the degree, so you are committed to finishing the program.

SteveIrwin

thanks a lot.i will modify it accordingly.

KitFox

3. that you have skills that are relevant to the program (such as programming) that would benefit your graduate advisor.

I would also strongly suggest that if you want to do computer vision, you should talk to those people, and not Dr. Mueller. Don't apply to the wrong program.

And if I haven't completely annoyed you, I would be happy to look at another draft.

SteveIrwin

14:10

i can't thank you enough..i will modify it and get back to you..i can mail you the draft right or should post it here??

KitFox

You can post it here. Some others might have more valuable advice.

Chat starts in 4 hours, too.

SteveIrwin

that would be great.

wax eagle

@SteveIrwin I'll take a look in a bit (or when you repost if you've done that when I get time).

morning @KitFox how goes the novel?

KitFox

Slowly, but steadily.

wax eagle

getting any funnier?

KitFox

14:17

I'm catching up a little. I'm at least holding my ground these past few days, but the holidays will kill me.

Um. No. Not funnier at all.

wax eagle

@KitFox I understand.

KitFox

More stilted and weird. Which I find funny but probably no one else will.

wax eagle

@KitFox that's ok, mine isn't getting very thrilling. So far all my main characters seem to be capable of doing is having sex...

KitFox

I finally wrote a little sex scene.

wax eagle

they need to break out of this rut and go solve a mystery...or something

KitFox

14:18

Funny how those just sort of beg to be written.

I had a few unexpected twists.

The lead character's husband divorces her, for one.

I really thought he would be more understanding, but no.

Matt Эллен

hmmm. Maybe if I run out of idea before I get to 50K I can go back and fill out the sex scene I alluded to last night...

wax eagle

@KitFox interesting, I wouldn't have seen that coming from the first chapter I read. but sometimes these things happen. I really didn't plan for my two mains to get this entangled this quickly, but somehow they ended up living in the same building, and it just worked...

KitFox

Also, I think the neighbors are cannibals.

wax eagle

@KitFox orly?

KitFox

Oh, and Tess is pregnant!

wax eagle

14:22

@KitFox the neighbor?

or the lead?

@KitFox my aliens turned out to be 3 eyed, 3 ft tall simians. My female lead (Erin) is a gun nut (this will be useful later). And they are now playing D&D once a week to relax...

wax eagle

14:43

sweet, just recruited a new Nano buddy :).

Matt Эллен

15:36

Does everyone else find the psychopaths easier to write, than the other character?

Mussri

@MattЭллен I've felt, from the writings you post here, that your tone is somewhat 'biblical'. And I have trouble imagining that with a psychopath's mind narrating... Still, they're pretty unpredictable, worse than capricious and less random than erratic, so maybe they're easier when you just want someone to do whatever needs be done in a story?

So, yes and no. I don't think they'll be easier because they'll have to be more interesting than my normally stolid characters. I'll have to try that sometime.

Matt Эллен

Biblical, eh? Interesting. That's not something I'd have expected to hear :)

I guess I find my psycho easier because it's fun to write about taboo things. and it's new for me. I've not done a psycho before.

KitFox

That makes me feel like I must be psycho.

Matt Эллен

what do you mean?

I mean truly taboo, like murder.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

what? murder is taboo now?

Mussri

15:47

With all those video games around? No, murder, blood, and several other things I refrain from mentioning are not that taboo anymore...

KitFox

Damn it.

Matt Эллен

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 oh, you and your cannibalistic tendencies

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@MattЭллен That reminds me, it's almost lunch time

Matt Эллен

@Mussri no, they are all very taboo to do

you can do anything in a game, precisely because it's a game

that is half the fun

Mussri

@MattЭллен But not to represent... Novels and video games are still representations, unreal outlets, or sth like that.

@MattЭллен Now I'm worried -_-

Matt Эллен

15:49

@Mussri well, I'd say they've never been taboo to represent

there is murder, sex, theft, etc. in the bible

pictures of hell have been around for as long as the concept

KitFox

foxfirekitty.wordpress.com/nanowrimo/progress/day-4 The last scene.

One of my favorite conversations.

He swore. “You kill people for sport. I’m not OK with that. It’s morally reprehensible.”

She looked at him with confusion in her eyes. “I don’t kill people for sport.”

“You don’t?” He breathed a sigh of relief.

“I kill people who are a net drain on society. I kill people who need killing. It’s not a sport. I don’t compete with anyone and I don’t enjoy it. It’s a duty, not a game.” She paused and pursed her lips. “Well, sometimes I enjoy it.”

Matt Эллен

is that part of your nanowrimo book?

KitFox

Yep.

Matt Эллен

cool. I like it :)

KitFox

Are you posting your progress?

Matt Эллен

16:02

I haven't been

I've been trying to find something worth putting as an excerpt on my nano profile, but I can't pick anything

Well, I've been posting my word count progress, but not actual words

KitFox

I like the last scene I wrote too, but it is pretty silly all around.

I decided to post the writing because my husband wanted to read it, but he hasn't even started it yet.

Matt Эллен

I did consider writing it on tumblr, but I'm finding it easier to do in emacs

KitFox

I'm writing in Scrivener then posting on WordPress.

When I do my word count update.

Unfortunately, I have a very screwed up user profile to fix, so I can't write right now.

Matt Эллен

I'm going to put it somewhere when it's done. I was keeping it version controlled but then I accidentally deleted everything. That was annoying. luckily I still had emacs open, so I could resave it

KitFox

Yipes!

You shouldn't need to version control! No editing in November!

Matt Эллен

16:07

indeed. I did have a backup, so I would have only lost 1000 words

@KitFox oh, not for editing, just so I can play back my progress

JSBձոգչ

@KitFox i still use version control. i check in every night.

KitFox

I probably could have done that for versioning practice. Oh well. Too late now.

Matt Эллен

16:23

@Mussri I'm really intrigued. What about my writing makes it biblical, do you think?

Mussri

@MattЭллен A link to your blog, please.

Matt Эллен

sgdi.tumblr.com

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@MattЭллен Yeah that's not the first adjective that popped into my head either

KitFox

I like the "I Wrecked These Eyes Reading" shirt.

Mussri

@Matt, Oh, oooooh! Semantics are ***. I meant 'sounding like/in the narrative tone of' the bible. You know, mysterious, using rhyming words occasionally (OK, the bible uses that a lot but you get the point) and so on. I did not mean your writings were 'biblical' in nature/ideas/portrayal/...; that misunderstanding was a failing on my part.

Matt Эллен

16:34

@Mussri oh! Thanks! I like to be mysterious :D

@KitFox I really like John Allison's stuff. I bought a tshirt of his a while ago.

KitFox

I'm writing a scene right now where the protagonist is trying to decide what to wear to interview with the evil genius.

I should be coding of course.

Mussri

@KitFox A shirt with the caption "Beware the hand you feed?"

KitFox

> Part of her thought looking like a hacker would score points, but she was a little too old to pull it off. Plus, she couldn’t dye her hair on short notice.

Matt Эллен

@KitFox sexy lingerie is always distracting

KitFox

Hmm. Titty shirt.

I'm finding the new hire here at work is very distracting.

I can't remember her name. She has a neck.

And all I can think about is that damn neck.

Matt Эллен

16:38

Sindi?

KitFox

No. It's like Beth or Marion or Joan or something.

Matt Эллен

Moan?

KitFox

Something that says "Hello, Kit, let's work out together and then have sexual relations."

Fresh Meat. That must be it.

Matt Эллен

Abigail?

lol

KitFox

Oh I like the name Abigail.

It seems to be Bethany.

Matt Эллен

16:40

oh, you knew all along!

KitFox

I had to look it up.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

Just call her Abigail

If she complains, say it's a nickname

KitFox

She's wearing one of those wide neck sweaters that show off collar bones and she's got on a layer of beads around her neck.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

oh, those sexy, sexy collarbones

KitFox

Fuck, I know right?

Matt Эллен

16:42

all bony and covered in skin

KitFox

And to think just this morning I was grumping that I was going to be expected to train the new person to do my support work.

Matt Эллен

:D

KitFox

Now I don't want to for completely different reasons.

shakes head Stop thinking about the new girl, Kit.

grr I can hear my project lead hitting on her in the hallway.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

heheh

I can hear Jez hitting on her from here

Matt Эллен

lol

@KitFox go and cock block him

KitFox

16:49

Augh! He came into my office instead.

Matt Эллен

noooooooooooooo

KitFox

Law of unexpected consequences.

I wonder if I have any cash on my staff card.

I could pull the old "Hey, I'm going to get lunch. You hungry? You want to get lunch?"

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

when is the scheduled chat?

I just got a notification for it

does it need updating for DST?

DForck42

for once i'm in here, and i've got a health fair i'm attending

bbl

KitFox

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 I guess it must.

Matt Эллен

16:56

bbl

KitFox

Hello, chatters!

Who is here for chat?

We can start now if people want to.

What the heck. Let's just do it.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

I'm here, but I have to grab lunch. be back in 5

KitFox

17:12

OK. I am back from posting notices.

Hello, everyone.

I see we have quite a few Wrimos here. How is it going, novel writers?

I have been pleasantly surprised at my level of productivity.

I am behind the necessary word count, but writing about 1,800 words a day on a regular day is not as impossible as I thought it would be.

I have been posting notes about my progress on my blog, as well as the scenes I've written daily.

I think the most important thing I've taken away from the experience so far is that 50,000 words is a very big story. I thought I had scoped reasonably well, but the original idea would have been about 20,000 words, I think.

Considering the largest work I've written prior to this is about 10,000 words, I'm pleased with the sort of crazy overgrown feeling I have right now.

It is far from being even a coherent story, but I am mostly enjoying writing and the discipline of being undisciplined.

I can see the appeal of pantsless writing finally, since I have had to go pantsless and free this past week.

@Matt and @waxeagle are knocking out the words too. I'd like to hear from you guys on how it's going.

@DForck When you get back from your health fair, I'd be interested to know if you are making progress.

And @JSB, did you stall out, or are you still plugging away at it?

@Question and @pureferret haven't been around much either. I'm not sure if that means they have been off the Nets and writing instead.

Oh and @El'endia, I see you there. You were banging through chapters like nobody's business, but then you haven't updated lately. You still writing?

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

Meanwhile I have been struggling with the summertime writing exercise (the odd-possession-new-neighbours). I want to complete it, but I seem to have painted myself into a corner.

KitFox

@Mussri I feel like you said you had run out of stuff to write?

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 How did you manage that?

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

well, the way the story has unfolded so far, it doesn't really go anywhere interesting. I think I have to re-imagine the details and be more ruthless with my characters.

I've grown attached to them, but I think something bad has to happen to one of them.

KitFox

17:27

Ruthless!

Tension!

Mussri

@KitFox Sort of. I'd taken that E7 ff to WriMo it through but after chapter 1 I felt like "I can do a better story than just copying the movie" and so I changed quite a bit (alright, nothing but the names remained!) and it just stalled...

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

It's kinda like how some mystery stories have the sleuth as a bystander, and not really personally involved. Sometimes that's okay, and sometimes that's just boring. But it is probably more realistic: someone has a problem, and a problem-solver fixes it.

KitFox

@Mussri Can we help you get back on track?

Mussri

Of course, writing mecha turned out much more difficult than watching it. And I've never read any mecha so I'm basically a pioneer in my own right and my own light.

KitFox

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 What if they are the ones causing the problem, and trying to thwart the person trying to fix it?

Mussri

17:31

@KitFox Nah. I think I'm quitting this year. Mid-year exams are merely two weeks from now >.<

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@KitFox Well, I've already established a problem-solver and a problem-causer, and a potential cause. But it makes for a boring story if she just techs the tech and fixes it.

KitFox

@Mussri Eeek! Well, then. But you should keep writing.

JSBձոգչ

@KitFox i'm still doing quite well. i'm actually ahead of schedule

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@KitFox Yah, Just do MuDeWriMo

JSBձոգչ

i completed my 3rd story last night

KitFox

17:32

@JSBձոգչ w00t!

JSBձոգչ

since my original goal was just to complete 4 stories, i'd say i'm safely ahead of the game :)

KitFox

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 Mussri December Writing Month?

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@KitFox yeah!

high fives

KitFox

high fives

JSBձոգչ

high fives

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

17:33

D'oh just realized that the No in Nano is "novel" and not "november"

whoops

KitFox

No worries.

> Professional and aloof was very tempting. It was a good look to suggest that she was an extremely competent person who got things done. But if Sturmkraft were the type of genius who valued efficiency over competency, she would be selling herself short. A titty shirt then, she decided.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

So anyway I think I'm going to have to make one of my characters do something wrong, which results in unforeseen consequences, which are bad, and which either require more fixing, or are merely tragic.

KitFox

Is that correct to put were there?

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 Or maybe it changes the fixing?

Mussri

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 I just might do that! And it still works :p

@KitFox Don't use unpronounceable names! Be subtle, goddamn it!

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@KitFox yeah, something more drastic. Something that might require a fourth "chapter", as it were.

KitFox

17:36

@Mussri Sturmkraft is highly pronounceable and also very funny.

It was gong to be Sturmkräft to make it extra evil, but I didn't want to type the umlauts every time.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@KitFox just search and replace at the end

Mussri

@KitFox Make an auto correct rule.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

That's what I did when I wrote a 20,000 word story where trees were animate and people were not. At the end, I did a "find and replace" for any anatomical words like hand, leg, foot, eye, etc, and rewrote or replaced them.

KitFox

Now I wrote all that helpful gibberish at the beginning of chat and it is off the page. sighs Oh, well.

Mussri

"Sturmkraft" We're no talking something like "The avengers", are we?

KitFox

17:40

I am laughing at you.

Not to be mean.

JSBձոգչ

@KitFox it would also be terrible German

KitFox

That too.

But extra evil, you must admit.

Rupert Sturmkräft. Evil. And laughable.

JSBձոգչ

i find u-umlaut to be more evil than a-umlaut

but i certainly agree that umlauts are evil

KitFox

I don't think I could pronounce Stürmkraft.

Shtoormkroft?

Schtuermkroft?

JSBձոգչ

why do you need to pronounce it?

KitFox

17:44

Because I listen when I write.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

internal monologue?

Mitch

I can't think and speak/write at the same time. long pauses between utterances.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@Mitch That probably explains your behaviour in the chat room

DForck42

@KitFox what kind of progress? my short story or my health? ;-)

KitFox

@DForck42 Both. Turns out, I have high cholesterol. Who would have thunk?

DForck42

17:48

@KitFox ehh, i'm tabling the short story for now. i'll get back to it in a couple of months

Mitch

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 !! what is my behavior (I'm guessing among many descriptions)?

DForck42

as for fitness, doing pretty good. my goals right now are to cut out soda and to start walking more. i'm going to the gym three times a week and loving it

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@Mitch haha, I was kidding

Mitch

@KitFox high good or high bad cholesterol?

DForck42

i deadlifted 245 lbs last night, which was pretty awesome

Mitch

17:48

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 !! I can't take a joke. I can give em out but I believe absolutely everything anybody says.

KitFox

Ugh, I cut out sode and half and half and sugar in my coffee. I am sooooooooo jonesing.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@Mitch It's okay, I'll take it back if you don't want it

KitFox

@Mitch Low good, high bad, high overall.

Mitch

until I don't.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@KitFox sounds like me

Mitch

17:49

@KitFox As a not-doctor, my advice would be that you should really just sorta...

high LDL is bad, high HDL is good, the opposite is... well the opposite.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

my doctor convinced me to start taking a statin. apparently there was a study done (The "Jupiter" study) that shows that people with no evidence of heart disease, but with a high HSCRP index, and high cholesterol, have lower mortality if they start taking statins.

KitFox

It's genetic, and there is no really strong link between blood cholesterol levels and vascular disease.

Mitch

@KitFox sugar makes no diff to heart/vascular health. at all.

KitFox

I refuse to take statins. They cause more trouble then they fix.

For me.

Mitch

half and half will fill up your arteries directly though.

KitFox

17:51

@Mitch Yeah. That's not why I did it.

Also, I am eating oatmeal every morning.

sighs

I hate changing what I eat. It's hardly fair.

I used to eat great quantities of junk food and greasy stuff.

I changed all that when my kids were born and what did it get me? Twenty extra pounds and no improvement in any other health measures.

Mitch

@KitFox sideaffects? I hesitate to ask. The long list on ads tend to include stroke death, gangrenous disfigurement, chipped nails, and halitosis.

@KitFox cholesterol...is sort of not that important.

KitFox

@Mitch I'm just grumping. I have no idea how they would affect me, but I'm just over the thresholds on all measures.

@Mitch This is what I'm saying.

Mitch

@KitFox well, your doc would tell you what's important. or actually, they may just not have enough time, and say oh yeah just surf the web about it. stupid doctor.

KitFox

I blame statins for making my father's health worse.

@Mitch She suggested that I exercise a little more.

I had to do it for work.

Mitch

@KitFox drugs have cured things. totally made some bad things extinct. But, they're not the complete answer for everything.

KitFox

17:55

Not all drugs are good.

"Drugs" covers a lot of ground. I'm generally pro-drug.

No, wait, I'm not.

Mitch

This is not appropriate conversation. It's not helping you achieve your goals of Words/day. I'm doing my job well!!

DForck42

@kitfox nerdfitness.com/blog/2010/10/04/…

KitFox

Right. No one answered whether "were" was correct in my sentence.

@DForck42 Yeah, yeah, whole foods diet. You don't have kids.

DForck42

@KitFox :-D

Mitch

@KitFox right. all the connections are there but just not strong. Many of the medical problems with strong associations were -solved- years ago, so now they're working on the high-hanging fruit.

DForck42

17:57

actually, just cut out bread, grains, and pasta and you're 70-80% paleo

Mitch

@KitFox ?? which sentence?

@DForck42 all those on the original paleo diet?

KitFox

23 mins ago, by KitFox

> Professional and aloof was very tempting. It was a good look to suggest that she was an extremely competent person who got things done. But if Sturmkraft were the type of genius who valued efficiency over competency, she would be selling herself short. A titty shirt then, she decided.

Mitch

Dead.

DForck42

@Mitch huh?

KitFox

I need the grains for scrubbing my arteries and my intestines.

Mitch

17:59

@KitFox suer what the hell. I prefer the subjunctive there.And it doesn't sound out of place of noticeable at all. But if you used 'was' it would be unnoticeable too.

sometites 'were' is noticeable and sometimes 'was' is.

@KitFox eeeuw!

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