The Overlook Hotel

Gigili

05:45

@DForck42 I liked it.

But I think you overused the word "uh"!

Gigili

06:13

I also didn't like the man's reaction when they told him that they think he took the money.

KitFox

12:30

fluffs throw pillows

Hi @Donald! Are you interested in the NaNoWriMo preparations?

Matt Эллен

12:44

I wonder what kind of novel I will write. I'm a bit excited at the prospect

KitFox

I had an idea on the way home. Then I changed it.

Matt Эллен

maybe some erotic fiction... sci fi... murder mystery...

KitFox

I should write an erotic novel. I could do better than the crap I've read lately.

But I don't think I want to murky my head like that.

Matt Эллен

yeah!

oh

KitFox

14:10

Hey @Ladybug, haven't seen you in a while.

Ladybug Killer

15:51

@KitFox Well, I'm busy. Writing ;)

KitFox

Sweet.

Are you thinking of doing NaNoWriMo this year?

Ladybug Killer

Probably the same issue like last year: I'm already writing a novel. I doubt it's finished before November.

But you guys look like you all want to start. That's nice :)

I can only assist by answering questions during NaNo. If there are any. Writers is more deserted during Nano than usual.

KitFox

We're gearing up, so I am hoping for a lot of activity during prep time.

You want to come to chat and give advice?

Ladybug Killer

If you still keep the old schedule, I think I do not have time. Damn, when is chat scheduled again?

KitFox

Usually Tuesdays at 1pm Eastern. We go as long as people are talking, so sometimes until 3:30.

But you aren't the only one to not be able to make it.

So if you have a good alternate, we might be able to get a second group together.

Ladybug Killer

16:07

That's 7pm in Germany if I get this right. Not a good time for me. Two or three hours later I'm maybe available again. I set a reminder to check if you are still chatting then.

Now I'm heading home. Cya!

KitFox

17:05

Here is my basic idea.

I came up with it as a means to naturally divide the work into a gazillion short blurbs.

Matt Эллен

Good thinking. It sounds really interesting.

Jack B Nimble

17:32

I came here looking for exercise.

KitFox

Hi @Jack.

If you are looking for the exercises we did this summer, you can start here:

5

Q: Weekly Chat Writing Topics: Summer 2012

The Tuesday afternoon chat was going well, and we agreed amongst ourselves to have an informal writing exercise every week. Chatters are free to participate or not, and to ask for critique or not. The criteria for the exercise are posted and pinned in the chat room. Chatters are encouraged to ...

Here is the the new one for the fall:

1

Q: Weekly Chat Writing Topics: Fall 2012

Tuesday afternoon chats are continuing to go well We have an informal writing exercise every week. Chatters are free to participate or not, and to ask for critique or not. All are welcome to come, read, and discuss; completing the exercise is not necessary. Chatters are encouraged to post thei...

discussion chat nanowrimo

Next week, we are going to start doing some novel planning practice, for people who are interested in seeing what's involved in preparing for National Novel Writing Month (November).

It should be good for anyone who is thinking about how to get started writing a novel.

We also do ten-minute timed exercises for fun in during chat.

Do you have a blog or a website?

Jack B Nimble

Yes

KitFox

Great. We like to use our blogs for sharing our work. It makes it easier to post a link to the completed exercise.

Most of us never actually finished the August three-part short story, so if you don't feel like doing the novel prep, you could start in on that exercise. Or really any of them.

Jack B Nimble

Hmm, the 9/5 exercise sounded cool.

I vaguely recall in one of my creative writing classes we were once given a number of photographs. We each chose one and had to write a short story about it.

KitFox

Sweet. Feel free to do whatever one you like. You can share a link here any time, but the regular chat is Tuesday at 1pm Eastern. There are some people who can't make it then, so we might find a second time to do chat as well. Speak up if it doesn't work for you.

Also, there are a few of us who hang out in here and we're happy to critique whatever you've got going or provide moral support or whatever.

I mean, outside of chat time.

DForck42

17:51

@KitFox i did :-)

KitFox

Well, yes, but you are more ambitious than the rest of us.

DForck42

@KitFox :-)

btw, i came up with a pretty awesome idea for a novel

KitFox

Yeah? Are you going to write it up on your blog and bring it to chat?

DForck42

@KitFox maybe

KitFox

...are you going to just tell me now? waits eagerly

DForck42

17:56

the general concept is: in an alternate world, life's a videogame. but not jsut any video game, an rpg. in order to become someone important you have to level up your life. and the novel will follow the story of a kid that was put into a coma when he was... 13. 7 years later he's woken up, and levels behind where he's supposed to be

KitFox

Hmm.

Could be interesting.

Jack B Nimble

Perhaps someone here would read this, which I wrote a couple of days ago to see if a 800 word serial chapters would be of interest on the scifi blog.

Stack Exchange Science Fiction & Fantasy Blog: Space Saga – Chapter 1: The accident

jackbnimble on September 12, 2012

Chapter 1: The accident

Cara Miller stared out of her lifepod window into the vastness of space. For all she knew she was the sole survivor of the ill-fated Astral Light, a rescue ship that ultimately would need its own rescue. It was all supposed to be routine. The Astral Light had been called out to assist a mining freighter which had suffered a major collision with a dislodged piece of asteroid. Systems were failing and the freighter sent out a general distress beacon.

When the freighter came into sight, Cara could hardly believe anyone was still alive. The ship was a mangled mess, with piece …

DForck42

@JackBNimble nice, i like it

the only thing i noticed though, was why wouldn't they have had something to detect incoming objects?

KitFox

@JackBNimble This is a good beginning. Are you thinking you might like to write it into a short story, or maybe a novel?

Jack B Nimble

@KitFox Just a short story for now. I was thinking about doing an 800 word chapter every other week so that the blog doesn't become stagnant.

KitFox

18:11

Are you looking for editorial suggestions?

Jack B Nimble

I was recently made the overseer of the scifi blog, so I'm trying to bouy up contributions.

KitFox

Oh I see.

@Matt here is the overseer of the EL&U blog.

Matt Эллен

ohai!

KitFox

Maybe you guys can trade notes.

DForck42

@MattЭллен hi!

Matt Эллен

18:13

Well, first of all, You need Kit to rally everyone to the blog.

Jack B Nimble

@KitFox Yeah, suggestions are good. My mother (a science fiction fantasy author) recommended I read a couple of Orson Scott Card books on character building and science fiction theme building.

Matt Эллен

Then you need to find a good level of pestering

@DForck42 hello!

DForck42

@MattЭллен how are you?!

KitFox

If you want to make it a regular blog thing, maybe you could find three or four regular writers and alternate stories.

Matt Эллен

@DForck42 I'm fine ta, how are you?

DForck42

18:16

@KitFox always a good idea

@MattЭллен oh, ok. stayed home with a bad sinus headache today

KitFox

@JackBNimble I like your writing style a lot. This piece is good, especially as an introduction, but I could make a few suggestions. One is, I'd like to feel more claustrophobic and isolated. I didn't understand until the very end just how small the pod was. Also, although I understand that some is necessary especially at the beginning, I felt there was just a hair too much exposition.

Plus, you've got a few typos.

Overall, I'd say it is quite solid.

DForck42

@KitFox actually i kind of like the idea of having the claustrophia and feeling isolation build over time

Matt Эллен

@DForck42 oh dear. I hope it gets better

DForck42

@MattЭллен it's better, still there and annoying, but not like this morning

Jack B Nimble

@KitFox If you can give me the typos I'll correct them.

KitFox

18:25

Oh sure.

Let's see...You missed italics on the Astral Light in the first paragraph, fourth line.

Jack B Nimble

I just now noticed inconsistent italizing.

KitFox

Probably ought to have a comma after "For all she knew" in the second sentence too.

@JackBNimble OK, well, there were a few other places of that.

In the fourth paragraph, you have "Cara peered at the controls, a small battery of indicator lights and the thruster controls."

I'm not sure if you ought not to have a colon there.

Also, you've got a double comma in the last sentence of that paragraph, and "spacecrafts" sounds funny. I would use the singular "spacecraft."

StrixVaria

Author writes a novel live on Google Docs

I don't think she's going right now, but it's an interesting idea.

KitFox

Here "To combat this some crewmen would stash a little nap sack in a lifepod. Usually the one closest to their station or to their bunk. " you've got a fragment, so you might want to join them together.

And "Next she examined the protein bars, the date on them was several years old, I guess this little sack has been here for awhile, she thought." is a run-on, but you can easily break it up with periods.

Jack B Nimble

Commas are my friends, periods are my enemies.

KitFox

18:32

And there's a double period in you last paragraph.

DForck42

lmao

KitFox

Another thing I was going to mention is that there is a pretty good amount of redundancy in the first paragraphs especially that could be cut out and would make the story smoother.

Consider this passage:

> The first boarding crew had barely crossed the docking arm when a stray asteroid fragment crashed into the damaged ship. This evidently was the final nail in the coffin for the beleaguered ship. What little air remained in the ship was enough for a massive explosion. Tethered to the ship, the Astral Light took heavy damages. The evacuation siren went off and Cara raced to an escape pod.

"the ship, the ship, the ship"

> The first boarding crew had barely crossed the docking arm when a stray asteroid fragment crashed into the beleaguered ship. What little air remained within it was enough for a massive explosion. Held fast by its tether, the Astral Light took heavy damages. The evacuation siren went off and Cara raced to an escape pod.

Removing the repetition helps the flow.

Jack B Nimble

Yes it does.

KitFox

I'm sure you would catch all of that on a rewrite. These are really just minor edits.

I particularly like the word "beleaguered" by the way.

Jack B Nimble

My greatest obstacle in writing is rewriting.

KitFox

18:37

And periods?

:)

Jack B Nimble

Period smeriod, that's what I say. I've never seen a sentence that couldn't be improved by adding a half a dozen commas.

Matt Эллен

You've, never seen, a sentence, that couldn't, be improved, by adding, half a dozen, commas?

Jack B Nimble

Affirmative,,,

KitFox

It's amazing how that makes you sound like William Shatner.

Well, then.

Jack B Nimble

Thanks a lot for the help.

KitFox

18:43

I'm glad it was helpful. I'd like to read more when you've got it written.

Matt Эллен

Maybe, I'm Kirk, in disguise!

Jack B Nimble

Next week Cara will die, and then we'll spend several chapters with updates on the state of the now lifeless lifepod. Or maybe that is too bleak.

KitFox

There's always the yo-yo.

Jack B Nimble

The yo-yo lay in the lifepod. Was it wrong to kill the human? The yo-yo pondered this for some time. Suddenly through the window there was a shirl of stars and colors. The lifepod was falling into a black hole.

KitFox

Hahaha. Spinning like a...like a...like a yo-yo on a string.

Jack B Nimble

18:49

Obviously I'm saying these things to be funny. The real story is that the protangonist (who is a cyborg / space pirate / orphan / jedi) is trying to find their way to Kobol.

KitFox

Well, duh, naturally. A homicidal yo-yo is not very science fiction-y.

Jack B Nimble

Plot twist, also secretly a princess.

KitFox

The yo-yo is a princess? Wow. You are hard core.

Matt Эллен

plot twist twist: secretly a princess look a like

KitFox

plot twist twist twist: who is in love with a vampire werezombie sorcerer

Jack B Nimble

18:52

From the future...

This story basically writes itself.

Matt Эллен

lol

KitFox

See? You are totally read for NaNo.

Jack B Nimble

The yo-yo sat on a throne made from the bones of its fallen enemies. Tonight I dine on turtle soup. it thought, referencing an 80s cartoon show.

2

Matt Эллен

time to go!

Jack B Nimble

Much like Stranger Than Fiction, the real hero is the yo-yo.

Ladybug Killer

20:30

@JackBNimble Then don't do it. Rewriting is a mastery for itself, and if you don't like it or don't know how to do it, you mess up more by rewriting than just keeping your text as it is.

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