The Overlook Hotel

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Jasper Loy

02:47

@DeltaEscher I created a new account, I am Jasper Loy now. I will mostly be in the math room, room 36 from now.

Stack Exchange

02:58

Q: How to pen complex ideas

I have a very good imagination and I am able to pen my thoughts reasonably well but once in a while, I will have a scenario that I able to imagine very clearly but I'm not able to write it down. I know that I can write it down as if I'm explaining it to someone but it's just that at such a time e...

11 hours later…

Kit Z. Fox

13:54

@JasperLoy Hello.

Kit Z. Fox

14:46

HI @MATT!

Matt E. Эллен

15:01

hi!

Kit Z. Fox

Matt E. Эллен

how was your sunt putriks day?

Kit Z. Fox

teh awsum!

Matt E. Эллен

15:21

woo!

3 hours later…

Jasper Loy

18:14

@KitZ.Fox Hi. I have started taking meds again.

user116848

Hi Jasper!

Jasper Loy

Hi.

user116848

I happened to be here as well. Hehe!

user116848

I received your email about your new email address.

Jasper Loy

Not many people here.

user116848

18:15

Yeah no one active here.

user116848

Okay, I am hanging around. See you.

Kit Z. Fox

@JasperLoy How are you feeling? Optimistic?

Jasper Loy

@KitZ.Fox So so. I am trying not to feel too optimistic so that I don't get too disappointed later on.

Kit Z. Fox

Well, it will take time anyway.

Jasper Loy

I see my friends all doing so well, living their dreams.

And I see myself struggling every day instead, it's a sad feeling.

I often think of what could have been if not for my father, you know.

I know people will tell me not to think this way, but you know how natural such thoughts are.

Dealing with them is part of my recovery.

Kit Z. Fox

18:22

Yes.

user116848

I just had a funny thought. My avatar picture is so short it looks like it has been on ignore by someone in chat. I mean avatar gets very short when put on ignore in chat :) Not that I ever ignore anyone :)

Jasper Loy

Anyway, I created a new email and new SE account yesterday, to mark the beginning of starting meds again. I won't have an Eng account anymore.

I just have a Math account, and I will come to Math and Writers rooms.

Jasper Loy

18:45

@KitZ.Fox Last night when I sent out the email telling my friends about the change of address, I sent it to the hospital as well. It was embarrassing, but I later told them it was a mistake and had then update their records anyway, lol. Luckily I did not say anything bad in the email.

@arrowfar Maybe change another picture?

Kit Z. Fox

@JasperLoy Oop!

user116848

@JasperLoy Yeah I'll change it after some time.

Jasper Loy

@KitZ.Fox So what happened to you that night, you got drunk with a new female friend?

Kit Z. Fox

I got drunk with many friends.

And also a new female friend.

Several people from work and some people they knew.

I didn't get ridiculously drunk, but I was pretty silly. It was fun.

user116848

I used to have so much fun in ELU chat last year when everyone would talk and laugh etc. These days it seems quiet there.

user116848

18:51

These days I usually hang around ELL chat. I talk there a lot.

user116848

Also Science fiction chat is a good place to read good discussions.

user116848

My internet just got very slow.

user116848

I am talking to myself, cool! :)

Kit Z. Fox

I thought you were rambling.

user116848

You guys may throw tomatoes now :-)

user116848

18:55

@KitZ.Fox Yeah that.

user116848

Does it look odd when someone rambles like that in chat?

user116848

Btw you guys can correct my English whenever I go wrong. Grammar wise etc.

Kit Z. Fox

I don't think it looks odd. I ramble with some frequency.

user116848

I see :)

Jasper Loy

@KitZ.Fox I don't feel too great, but taking the clonazepam seems to have at least reduced the extreme anxiety for now. Now I am trying to make sense of my past. It's something I still have to do to move on to the future.

I was also given fluvoxamine. Actually I predicted he would give me these two.

Kit Z. Fox

18:59

Is that what you've had before?

Jasper Loy

Yes. I told him I did not jump down the window because I was afraid of the pain.

He said 'Don't kill yourself, we can help you'.

Kit Z. Fox

Well, that's good.

Jasper Loy

I should have said 'Are you sure?' LOL.

user116848

So sometimes while chatting I write my thoughts in some word program like MS Word or a Notepad then paste them here later. Because sometimes I get a good idea then I forget about it later. So saving these ideas and thoughts seem like a good idea to me.

user116848

Sorry, I just feel like typing :)

user116848

19:06

It is okay to write different stuff in chat, right?

Kit Z. Fox

Like what?

user116848

Um... like what I have typing so far.

Kit Z. Fox

Yeah. That's fine.

user116848

@KitZ.Fox You don't talk much in ELU chat these days?

user116848

I think I should give answers on the main site in my free time.

Kit Z. Fox

19:10

I don't chat much at all these days.

I soured on the EL&U main chat and decided that I didn't need to go there much anymore.

Jasper Loy

I am not going there anymore.

user116848

I see. I try my best to be polite with everyone.

Kit Z. Fox

I got tired of the negativity and lack of rational thought.

Jasper Loy

I have now removed the hospital email from my list of contacts in case I send them wrongly again, lol.

user116848

I try my best not to make fun of anyone.

Jasper Loy

19:15

@KitZ.Fox I don't think I will ever forgive my father. I hope he never moves back again.

user116848

@KitZ.Fox Do you think I used to write negative comments there when I talked a lot there? I mean I used to say almost everything there.

user116848

Yeah. I get paranoid sometimes :)

Jasper Loy

@arrowfar No I don't think you are nasty.

user116848

@JasperLoy I see. Thanks!

Jasper Loy

I think maybe Robusto and tchrist write nasty comments there and act superior.

Kit Z. Fox

19:18

@arrowfar No, not you. You're very polite.

And conscientious.

Jasper Loy

Robusto likes to say I am attracting attention when I delete my account. tchrist likes to say I am indulging in self pity when I talk about my mental problems.

user116848

@KitZ.Fox Thanks Kit!

Jasper Loy

I got 200 points on Math for writing two one-line answers in one day, LOL.

Also, got 10 badges already, LOL.

user116848

I'll see you guys later. Goodnight all!

Jasper Loy

C U

Jasper Loy

19:57

@KitZ.Fox Is it time for you to leave the office?