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12:27 AM
@KitFox Did you have time to look over my post paste?
 
OMG, yes. I am sorry. Things got weird here this afternoon.
And then the election.
Let me read it again.
And did we figure out what we want to do for next time?
 
No need to apologize
@KitFox no, we didn't discuss it.
 
What I remember is that I could see (I believe) that you were trying to make Marie seem really distracted so that only the most interesting parts of what M... said caught her attention. I was curious what was in the boxes, but also what Marie's project was.
 
I'm curious about those things too :)
 
Haha.
Let me see what else.
Oh. Here we go.
> “What do you mean?”
It seems like she is interested, but then she's not again.
> “They probably just wrote that on all their boxes.”
And then, when she probably is getting interested, she just says "Weird."
Or maybe not.
I guess I'm a little uncertain when she actually shows interest.
I think part of that is the bare quote. It makes it harder to discern her tone of voice, but on the other hand, I like the starkness of it.
 
12:38 AM
Well, first of all, it's a draft, and I'm not sure how interested she would be at this point or how distracted by her project she is, even while eating. I was originally thinking she would be very distracted, but then she comments on the Smiths and so I guess she was nominally paying attention.
brb, phone
 
@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 Yeah, that's when I know for sure she hears him. Otherwise, she is half-listening. I think it is good to break her distraction. It kind of highlights how distracted she really is.
 
@KitFox But she doesn't get really interested in the question of the boxes because there isn't enough information for her.
 
But maybe make that comment the only thing that catches her attention, e.g., drop the piece with the pot plants. Make that his idea. So he kind of peters off into thinking about the neighbors and she goes back to thinking about her project?
 
@KitFox That's probably a good idea
 
And I think I would change the "What do you mean?" to something less interested, like "Oh?"
 
12:43 AM
yeah
 
I think that will help highlight her lack of interest. He's obviously intrigued, because he keeps talking about it.
I'm sorry. I feel like I'm not being terribly helpful.
Maybe we should figure out what to do for next week.
Since it should be based on this scene.
Then I can feel better about the chat today.
 
Maybe we should extend this one a bit, since we're the only two who wrote something
 
Yes. Should we add a little something to it, or just keep writing?
 
Hm
I have to run... I'll be around tomorrow if you want to discuss, or you can make a unilateral decision :)
 
I think the most obvious thing to do with this exercise is to do the second half from the neighbors' point of view.
@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 Sure. Let's talk tomorrow.
Good night!
 
12:55 AM
bye
 
1:51 AM
This is a cool thing all of you will like! etsy.com/shop/ObviousState
 
 
11 hours later…
1:10 PM
@Aarthi Oh, sexy. Thank you.
 
 
2 hours later…
2:41 PM
@MattЭллен will you be taking part in this week's writing exercise?
 
yes. I didn't have time last week to write anything, but I should this week
 
@Kit and I were discussing what it should be. We were thinking that it should build on last week's but that implies that other people have to do last week's... or fudge it, anyway
 
Yeah, my plan was to add this week's exercise to last week's
 
ok, good. any suggestions on what the next exercise is, then?
 
my brain no working. try again laters
 
2:54 PM
Yes, let me eat some lunch first.
 
 
2 hours later…
4:24 PM
I ate lunch, but I'm still not sure. Feel free to jump in.
 
4:58 PM
So step 1 was "write a dialogue about a couple eating dinner and discussing their neighbour's weird posse[tions]". Step ... N was "combine the short parts into one big-ass exercise that's worthy of being called a short story or something."
Someone wanted "longer" exercises too
maybe we should plan out the next 3 weeks and then present that as the full exercise for whoever wants to do it in one go.
 
5:23 PM
I like it.
So week three is "do the same thing but from the new neighbors' point of view"
And week four is the same of whatever week two is, but ditto.
So we just need to figure out week two and we've got it knocked.
 
5:35 PM
Well, if we're telling a story, the story needs to go somewhere
and where it can go is highly dependant on where it's been
 
So...week two should be "make the story go somewhere"?
 
5:52 PM
I guess so :)
but we need it to be more concrete than that, I think
There needs to be a conflict
and something about the possessions
 
The mystery of the weirdness of the possessions needs to be solved.
 
6:30 PM
I don't know if I want to solve that in part two
 
That should be part four.
Maybe set up the mystery in part two?
 
7:10 PM
Sure but I guess what we need for part two is a scene or some other kind of requirement that has to be written. i.e. part 1 was "dinner conversation", part two is "???"
How about "meet the neighbours at some event"... the event can be a local fair, a backyard bbq, a pool party, whatever suits you
 
Yes!
Then we can use that event as the transition point to week three.
 
@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 Yup, c'est moi.
I'm late to the party, as usual, but I swear it's because of time zones.
 
This sounds good.
 
Anyway, I was thinking that putting a Part from the neighbors' perspective is 'interesting' but unwanted; it would take away from the 'mystery' element.

So instead, how about basing it all around how those neighbors live and how they look in the eyes of others. So that Part 4 could be (a) grand scene(s) where many people act on their interest in these neighbors... Maybe make the police show up? What if they were CIA sleepers living in another country or maybe they're a couple (2) of mad scientists?
And sorry for not coming in today and for being absolutely oblivious as to how today's finished exercises worked out ^_^
 
 
2 hours later…
8:57 PM
@Mussri Actually the writing exercise was yesterday
 
0
Q: How to avoid using the subject of a sentence using more than necessary

ilango gurusamyMy English grammar is rusty and I have not kept up with grammar rules. So, please bear with me, while I struggled to frame the title of my question. What I want accomplished is a paragraph that is short, sweet and one that does not confuse the reader with repetitive detail. I get the feeling that...

You want this here? @neilfein or @Kit or whoever.
 
 
1 hour later…
10:17 PM
@Standback too. I think no, but you guys prolly ought to decide.
 
10:57 PM
@RegDwightАΑA - Thanks, but that would be off-topic on Writers.
 
Figured as much.
Just wanted to superping someone again.
 

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