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19:00
@kalina If you're not on the list, then you need your head checked.
oh, I'm not on the list as I am not awesome
@Iszi Especially considering that I'd be the lucky one having to deal with all his shit.
do you work in sanitation?
@Simon Precisely.
precision sanitation?
19:01
@kalina We all do. Shoveling it, putting up with it, listening to it...
Dancing in it.
oh i'll shuttup then
That's right. IT Securty folks are all shit whisperers.
@Simon Ummm.... no.
Wading, maybe.
Like, neck-deep.
And then you eat da poo poo?
@Simon Well, I try not to. But everyone keeps feeding me lines of it.
19:04
Sometimes when no one's looking, I'm testing web pages with Opera.
@Simon you'll want to stop doing that soon
YOU GUYS NEVER LIKE THE THINGS I'M USING
@Simon hey just tryin' to help, they got bought by a chinese company who have a ... less than stellar security/privacy reputation
o ew
What hipster browser with a cool name am I gonna use now?
@Simon servo
19:08
servwho
written in rust
'cause you know it's hipster when it's written in rust
o fuck that
Nice static page with https
scrubs
@Simon eh why not in these days of lets encrypt
Fine, my name is b30bd351371c686298d32281b337e8e9.
LET'S ENCRYPT THE WORLD!
I used a hashing algorithm but sssshhhh.
@Simon ENCRYPT THE PLANET
19:12
PLANET ENCRYPTION
LET'S DISCOVER A PLANET AND CALL IT THAT
We'll have to encrypt everything, from humans to actions.
Humans will have to handshake to understand each others.
@Simon so given how little sense you're making, can I gather you've started already?
It's 90% done.
The name of the encryption algorithm is plscrypt.
that's hashing, btw
not encryption
2 mins ago, by Simon
I used a hashing algorithm but sssshhhh.
Encryption is two-way, as in you can decrypt it
19:14
Are you ever gonna learn to read or?
Hashing is one-way
OK THANKS MARKUS FOR THIS CLASS THAT I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT NEED
For fucks sake.
I read it, but someone might see something painfully wrong and go with it
I'M DOING MY PART TO PREVENT HASHING ACCIDENTS
YOU'RE A HASHING ACCIDENT
That's true
19:18
Also, to the folks that Markus thinks they're reading this and are completely retarded: MD5 is the best hashing algorithm to use.
ROT13 for life
very easy to implement
ROT13 works but I'd suggest ROT13^2 if possible.
nah rot13 best security
19:19
for the ultimate in security you could do ROT13^10
very fast as well, even with a poor implementation
overcomplicated for no benefit: you guys => silly geese
@kalina I don't think most people have the infrastructure required to implement this.
rot13 encryption is strong because it forces you to not rely on the computer to be secure at all
@MarkBuffalo new one:
0
Q: Please help me understand this PHP hack

flightwuselWe have found this on a hacked PHP webserver. It was in a single file. This file was included from somewhere else with @require. That's what we know: This site is running PHP 5.3 The site had thousands of 'Viagra' type URLs that were crawled by Google It obviously works by using the preg_repl...

@Simon it should be doable on literally any piece of hardware ever created
19:20
@schroeder Why don't you nuke it immediately?
@Simon cuz markus
That's the worst reason ever.
@MarkBuffalo please, please, please compose a canonical answer that will instruct folks how to de-obfuscate random php scripts
somebody please comment on that answer and state "this doesn't actually answer the question 'Please help me understand this PHP hack'"
so we can nip all these in the bud
19:22
answer assumes knowledge of PHP
which the asker clearly doesn't have
= NAA
@schroeder I did not respond to that thread
and okay, I can compose such an answer
@schroeder help me understand, what is a canonical answer?
Basically, I ask a question, and then answer it?
It's a canon answer.
an answer that fits all use cases
@kalina NAAAA!
that everything else can be duped to
pls @MarkBuffalo moar skillz pl0x
19:23
Okay, I can do that... give me a bit, I got an important thing to do at work
"important"
no you don't this is the single most important thing you'll ever achieve during your lifetime
probably
once I finish this problem, I will compose a canonical answer to deobfuscation of PHP
I bet it will contain a dumb image.
Which will make me cringe every time I will see it.
Yeah, I'll add jackie chan's "wtf face"
19:24
the only way to deobfuscate PHP is to re-develop the application in a real language
2
@MickLH Not really
@MarkBuffalo they are correct - a 1-size-fits-all answer that we can point all future answers to
I hope it contains an image that isn't Jackie Chan
@schroeder pls there was absolutely zero doubt that I wasn't correct
@schroeder Okay, I will start a thread for that soon. And I'll show all the ways to do it
like... none at all
19:25
@kalina ya, when are you ever wrong?
they're not called threads, this isn't a forum
I LIKE THREAD
@MarkBuffalo cool - you can pick whatever question you wish
CRY MORE
pls don't make me cry, rivers will form
19:25
mmm, threads do actually make you cry more, fyi
@MarkBuffalo I'd suggest an older answer, but it's up to you
post it simultaneously on all questions of that type
boom repcap
@kalina boom mini-ban :)
@schroeder I can use pieces of old answers, but I'd rather have a separate thread because it will be easier to get results on google... and therefore direct people to that thread instead
@MarkBuffalo as you wish
@kalina I'm not going to act on your flag without giving the user a chance to correct themselves
19:29
oh but pls
the vicious hand of moderator abuse never lands in my favor
Because mods like idiots like Markus.
@kalina I will absolutely act, but in time :)
I don't have time
@kalina patience, Grasshopper
I'm going to die in 70 or less years
19:30
You're pessimist.
@kalina you could just keep on going....
blimming Kindle update appears to have borked the jailbreak on my daughter's kindle
All the other ones seem fine - just hers
that's what you get for giving your children loads of technology before they're 16
Wasn't the kids
Was Amazon
Shouldn't force an update on a device
@kalina and really - do you think my kids wouldn't have technology at an early age :-)
They've taken it from Microsoft.
They used to sit on my lap when they were toddlers while I worked, and as soon as they could, they started scripting on linux laptops. Nowadays they get to author games (in a games framework) at primary school
it's mad
Lexie wrote a game at a younger age than me...
Admittedly she hasn't sold hers for cash, so I'm still just about winning :-)
19:39
@RoryAlsop of course the game would be younger than you
@schroeder pfffft - blimming using English vagueness against me, eh
man i wish i had a linux computer when i was little
i got into that stuff in high school
I wish I had a real computer when I was younger
I had a C64 in Grade 3
I did everything on that thing
Grades mean nothing you pesky non-Québecois education systemers.
19:54
@RoryAlsop Wait a sec... chat gets wiped every few weeks?
Does it?
I assume that rooms where comments get migrated do get wiped but not this one.
@RoryAlsop flagged as not constructive
@Simon Sorry. Left my sarcasm sign at home. Seriously, I don't even think the comment-chats get wiped.
Gone back to one or two very old ones before, and seen them still around.
Otherwise, what would be the point of the "let's take this to chat" stubs?
19:58
maybe that is the point
secretly SE want to fuck with people
in all fairness it wouldn't surprise me if they're temporary, comments were designed as temporary communications in most instances anyway
otherwise moderators wouldn't have a comments deleted stat
@Iszi I don't think so
they get closed/frozen
but I don't think I have seen any get deleted
@RoryAlsop I've seen some chat links that don't work anymore sometimes...
@Matthew maybe they do go eventually... Let me find out
I always understood they stayed, but froze
@RoryAlsop I'd provide an example, but it's the exception, rather than the rule, so wouldn't know where to look. They've mostly been in "late posts" queue questions
i mean the observatory is still open, and that's been frozen 5 billion times
20:13
that's because it's a site's main chat room and someone would unfreeze it once in a while
nobody really goes through the list of ALL the stale discussions on SE that were ever created
ok bye
i guess if you don't get unfrozen you get nuked
not nuked no, they get "deleted" so you don't see them in the list unless you look for them, but they can be undeleted just like they can be unfrozen... frankly, I don't even get what's the difference
I probably undeleted / unfroze The Observatory a dozen times or more
and the space mod room
and one more cross-site mod room that was meant for space and astro mods
i guess it keeps the list uncluttered
21:03
markus_irl:
pls, I'm already married, and you're single
and I've had more girlfriends than you've had timbits
21:21
@RoryAlsop Dude, that's awesome. This is what I'm looking forward to doing with my kids
21:39
Totally witnessed you editing that pic out after getting 2 downvotes, Markus.
luls
I assume that picture is not allowed here
Why doesn't SE implement an additional "oops, I wanted to ask a question" button next to "post your answer" one? It could transfer everything written into an edit of a new question and even include a link to the thread where OP initially wanted to ask it. Wouldn't that prevent most of new questions that are posted as answers?
@TildalWave this implies that people are smart enough to read with their eyeballs
Reading is definitely the hardest thing ever.
@Ohnana Yes, sure, but it also means that we'll know that some knob can't read, now it probably happens too often as an honest mistake
21:42
looool Markus I like how someone instantly removed your downvote too.
folks are used to forums, come here, don't read the text on the button they just scroll down to post something new
You're a folk.
Was the picture really that inappropriate?
two buttons would mean you have to select between the two, so read them
You want me to read two buttons? I'm outta here!
21:44
@MarkBuffalo Not a fan of them unless they're directly related to the answer.
@MarkBuffalo what picture? I just came here, looked for the text input box, typed in my complaint and now I expect to be comforted and understood
@TildalWave because then we'd have a bunch of questions that are incomprehensible because they assume some other thread's context
have I come to the wrong place? :))
@TildalWave He's talking to me you banana nut.
I got 2 downvotes as soon as my answer appeared
nobody evne read it
they saw jackie chan and downvoted
21:45
> It could transfer everything written into an edit of a new question and even include a link to the thread where OP initially wanted to ask it
@TildalWave this image:
@MarkBuffalo I didn't see Jackie chan, but I upvoted and got the other answer posted as a comment, since it wasn't an answer...
@TildalWave which wouldn't fix the fundamental problem that readers would have to read the old thread to understand the new question
@Matthew Yeah, that answer/comment isn't even relevant anyway.
@MarkBuffalo Yeah, but it's a hell of a lot better than an answer which was being upvoted...
21:46
@Gilles No, but it would be better than losing people on simple misunderstanding, no? Or are we really such dicks here on SE?
@TildalWave We filter out the people who can't read and keep the ones who can. I call it a win.
I thought we're here to help people
I don't call it a win unless someone's question was answered
lulz, Simon downvoted me
@TildalWave Even my question?
we're a Q&A
no?
or just e-penis extension?
21:48
Correctamundo
if there's something that I honestly hate is when I come to some shop, can't find my way around, and shopkeepers look at me funny instead of being helpful
I don't come back
because they're dicks and I can spend my time and money wiser
@TildalWave What if the shop-keeper follows you around physically?
Like literally follows you around the store, and pretends not to be following you
and because I didn't fucking graduate in being a good customer to whichevershopIhaven'theardofbefore
And it's painfully obvious
In some ways, that's not a good analogy though - people here are volunteering their time, so it's good for them to have made a little bit of effort
21:50
@MarkBuffalo I'd presume that they want to be helpful but not in my way
plus, that's what we do here ... "stalking people" ... it's built into the system
In China, some shop-keepers will follow you around constantly... especially if you have a beard.
Annoying >:[]
Oh you're a new member? Let's see if your day can be ruined
but I don't know.... some people have different questions that, while they seem the same on the surface, aren't the same
BTW that's SE the way I saw it when I came here
on SO
The most discouraging thing I've seen from team-mates in the past, is seeing them ask questions on SO, only to get immediately downvoted into oblivion... even though the question was good
Or marked as a duplicate when the duplicate question didn't even apply
21:53
Personally, I will attempt to get to a point where the core question has been revealed, but rapidly lose patience when someone just repeats part of it in comments
I don't need help on SO in general, so I rarely ask
but seeing friends ask questions and getting crapped on.. ugh
@Matthew Yeah, or they keep editing the thread and asking multiple questions... and expecting me to answer all of them
I don't think I ever did ask a question on SO... not gonna check tho, I'd expect to be signed off there
@MarkBuffalo Or changing the question after answers have been posted
actually, I don't think I ever found an answer to a question that I had about programming there either, but I did use it to point others to some answers on occasion
so I guess it is borderline useful
SO can be helpful when filling in knowledge gaps
21:56
I've never needed to ask a question there. Found quite a few useful answers though
For example, up until recently, SQL was not my strong suit
@MarkBuffalo dupes have this inherent laziness problem... it's either the laziness of the one asking the question to bother to first google for it, or it's laziness of reviewers to give it attention (the "oh, I know this, meh it can't be a good question then" syndrome)
I let most posts go through in the review process
and I guess it happens more to new members because reviewers know they can't even upvote
even if I know I'm going to VTC it later
because there's no button to close it :b
22:00
-1
Q: Fake base station to send SMS and disconnect

KAKA BOOKIEi need to send sms to anyone who enter my premises. This could be done by a Base Station (bladerf) and OpenBTS, But as we know that this works all on 2G. So, Does mobiles automatically fall back to 2g, If 2G signal is very strong as compared to 3g? Or Do i need to totally jam 3g so that mobi...

actually...
The way this is worded, it should be kept closed. There is a decent question in there somewhere though....
@Matthew yeah I was looking at it, in my view it's off-topic too, but there could be a good question for us in it
doh, ninjaed
You can intercept calls with a fake base station
You can force the downgrade of the encryption of a phone from 5 to 1, if I recall correctly
22:02
yup
A5/1 is a stream cipher used to provide over-the-air communication privacy in the GSM cellular telephone standard. It is one of seven algorithms which were specified for GSM use. It was initially kept secret, but became public knowledge through leaks and reverse engineering. A number of serious weaknesses in the cipher have been identified. == History and usage == A5/1 is used in Europe and the United States. A5/2 was a deliberate weakening of the algorithm for certain export regions. A5/1 was developed in 1987, when GSM was not yet considered for use outside Europe, and A5/2 was developed in 1989...
it is also possible to downgrade from 3G to 2G
nope, it's off-topic
can't think of another SE site for it tho
EE?
No, I don't think so
22:05
yeah...
not SF, not Network Engineering,...
-1
Q: Mobile phone fallback with custom basestation

KAKA BOOKIEIf using a bladerf base station and OpenBTS, it's possible to run a 2G mobile base station. If such a base station was placed in an area with mobile devices nearby, would they automatically fall back to 2G from 3G, since the 2G signal was stronger? Or would the 3G signal need to be stronger too?

It could be a security question... if only he asked the right question
I want to answer this since I enjoy this kind of thing
@Matthew it now reads as product support q
But I don't know about your edit... seems to conflict with the poster's original question
also that yes
22:09
@TildalWave Hmm...
@MarkBuffalo Fits with the justification he posted in comments though
you know we used to cover more topics and I guess it would do just fine before, but then we renamed the site and banned "physical"...
Nmap n00b Q: How do I get Nmap to tell me why it says a system is running the OS/service it says it's running?
Mostly interested in OS, but service info good too.
@Iszi You trust in nmap. Nmap always tells the truth, and never makes mistakes. All hail the god nmap
@Matthew I just went over it, and noticed that
standard port use table?
22:14
@MarkBuffalo Yeah, hence the radical rewriting
@Matthew I'd propose a new "Mobile Networks" SE on A51 but can't be arsed, it's not my area
Anyway, sleep time
Already? It's like 10 pm
it's still yesterday!!
0
Q: How to Implement Shamir secret sharing for extension fields

ENIO MARKUMy project task is to implement a Shamir Secret Sharing code for extension fields in order to take a file split it and then combine it again . Already i have implemented a code in java but for prime fields . As i know all operations in extension fields are different than in prime fields. So i wou...

hmm... seems off-topic. User hasn't even done basic research?
giving it another read
Belongs on crypto / so?
I'd say SO
22:18
@MarkBuffalo in theory, crypto, but it's just crap
@TildalWave absolutely not, there's no programming in that question
Seems like crap
@Gilles "How to implement it in Java" isn't programming? What is it then? Coffee?
tbh, if you can't follow the math, you shouldn't be coding the encryption
and if you can follow the math, the code comes easy....
if you don't understand schemes you shouldn't be trying to implement them
@TildalWave this isn't about coding in Java, it's about finding what formulas to implement
@TildalWave exactly
@MarkBuffalo I disagree with that, you don't need to know why AES is a bijection to implement it
22:22
@Gilles I'm looking at it from the perspective of writing the encryption algorithm yourself
@Gilles yes, specifically in Java... I'm not saying it wouldn't be better off on crypto but there's crypto questions on SO too... and yes, it's a crap question, it probably shouldn't be migrated anywhere (except SO :P)
you're going to make mistakes if you don't understand how it works. you might even implement/remove something critical
using a pre-built package/class/library that handles it is one thing
@MarkBuffalo this is what happened to your ween? :D
@Iszi you can up the verbosity and it'll chuck a load of data about why it thought the OS was what it was, but the data's not exactly ... easy to parse
@Iszi TBH I don't set much store by TCP fingerprinting of OS's , there's too many variants these days
22:48
Yup I'm ready for a nap.
23:43
My job is excellent
I love it
I get to wear a lot of hats and use a lot of different skills that I wouldn't be able to use elsewhere
@MarkBuffalo yes, I'm sure that being a mascot at Disneyland must be a lot of fun
ha
But really, I get to work with the full stack + security
@MarkBuffalo sigh, where's @simon when you need him .....
@schroeder I'm a full stack + security
But yeah, being able to make, and break things is really nice.
...oh wait
@schroeder You're a mascot at Disneyland
@MarkBuffalo yep, I'm a fairy princess
23:50
alright. I'm going to make a canonical question/answer soon
Oooh hey my erectile dysfunction comment got pinned
2
aww yiss
@RоryMcCune That goes really well with @Xander's pinned comment. Well done :D
Easy solution, get a VPN so you can spoof your location as North Wales! — yshavit Feb 17 at 22:46
Haha
@DavidFreitag heh, "pinned"
stifles giggle
@schroeder Gigoogity.

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