The DMZ

Flyk

15:01

@AviD that outfit is so not attractive

AviD

@Flyk you're an outfit

Flyk

you're a misfit

AviD

meh

Flyk

and your mother liked horses for all the wrong reasons

AviD

lolwat

Adnan - Adi

15:02

@Ohnana Umm?

AviD

@Flyk redacted

BOOM

Flyk

@AviD yeah, he had penis envy

AviD

eww no, I dont like that

Ohnana

►

Flyk

I broke up with him shortly after re-calibrating my minimum requirements in a man

Ohnana

15:03

i'm making a shitty pop culture reference

Flyk

he didn't meet the "at least 7.5 inches" requirement

@Ohnana adnan isn't aware of popular culture

or unpopular culture for that matter

in fact, adnan and culture in the same sentence causes every kitten in the southern hemisphere to spontaneously die

AviD

@Flyk is that a personal attack on @Adnan-Adi?

Ohnana

@Flyk WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE

AviD

because if its a racist thing, Imma be upset.

Flyk

@AviD no, I was talking about adnan, not adnan-adi

AviD

15:05

@Flyk ....

THERE ARE 4 ^

Flyk

notice how I didn't rise to your ellipsis abuse?

AviD

I admire your self restraint.

Flyk

my self restraint was limited to responding on chat

I burned down three houses containing my fury

AviD

IRL you just punched a kitten

@Flyk ah.

not four?

hehe

Flyk

no, just three

AviD

15:09

I'm pretty sure there were four.

yeah, pretty sure....

yup, there were four.....

DAMMIT WOMAN I AM JUST USING YOU AS AN EXCUSE

Flyk

I would never punch a kitten in real life

Adnan - Adi

@Ohnana She's actually right. I'm very far from pop stuff

AviD

I need to go read up how to not procrastinate.

I'm usually not like this...

Flyk

@Adnan-Adi what do you mean by "actually"?

are you surprised that I picked that up from our discussions?

@AviD one day, I will discover the key to not procrastinating at every opportunity

the next day, I will die before I can share it

Rоry McCune

@Flyk s/house/windmill/

Adnan - Adi

15:11

@Flyk I'm surprised you picked anything from anything

Rоry McCune

ahh the delights of a 200+ page report to read

raz

@RоryMcCune No cliff notes?

Rоry McCune

@raz I'm QA'ing them so no, I have to read the whole thing in detail

Ohnana

@RоryMcCune sad trombone

raz

^^

AviD

15:15

@RоryMcCune not sure if its worse to write it or read it

when you read it, you have to pay attention

raz

@AviD I would think you'd have to pay attention when you write it...

Rоry McCune

@AviD oh writing is worse, takes longer, but with writing you usually only have to do one a week

Adnan - Adi

Let's test the speed here

Ohnana

@raz nah he just reprograms simon to stick technical words together

Flyk

@Adnan-Adi :(

Adnan - Adi

15:16

Not bad

Flyk

well at least today I learned that adnan thinks I'm so intellectually challenged that I couldn't pick up information from a conversation

AviD

@Flyk yeah, its adorable how you two flirt.

Flyk

I don't flirt with adnan

ever

Adnan - Adi

pukes

Flyk

for starters, it's highly unlikely that he's my type

secondly, his girlfriend uses chat and I think she's alright so wouldn't hit on her boyfriend

raz

15:18

@Ohnana Mecha-Simon

Flyk

thirdly, guys off the internet...

fourthly, really? the only hitting on guys I do is with a hammer

Adnan - Adi

AviD

@Flyk yeah, as if anyone here still believes you're NOT @Kisunminttu.

Adnan - Adi

Me surprised to read that!

Flyk

@Adnan-Adi FREAKY EYE ALERT

@AviD ...

AviD

15:19

@Adnan-Adi heh. That should be a meme.

Flyk

so I'm taylor swift

AviD

@Flyk .....

@Flyk yes

Flyk

kisunminttu

AviD

@Flyk yes

Flyk

so, basically

you're saying adnan is dating taylor swift?

Ohnana

15:20

@Adnan-Adi oh jesus

AviD

and dont forget the Grugq and the 40 year old truck driver.

@Flyk @Adnan-Adi is a lucky man.

Adnan - Adi

@AviD Oh god no!

Flyk

@Adnan-Adi I'm glad this is your reaction

AviD

@Adnan-Adi no, you're not lucky for having @Kisunminttu?

Flyk

I hope that's primarily a taylor swift OH GOD NO

Adnan - Adi

15:21

@AviD Wait, what?!

AviD

dont worry, she already knows.

heh. No, we shouldnt be picking on you while your mind is focused on your first day at work.

Flyk

no, you shouldn't

Adnan - Adi

I'm lost

Flyk

you are not only a bad person but also a bad friend

@Adnan-Adi basically, there is a running joke that I am apparently Taylor Swift

and also @Kisunminttu

I don't know why they think this

Adnan - Adi

Shit, @Kisu, they're on to you!

AviD

15:23

@Flyk dont forget the 40 year old truck driver from Des Moines

and the current theory that you are also the Grugq

because obviously, otherwise you would not have been able to pull this off

Flyk

I still don't know what you're talking about

sometimes I wonder if there is a "Behind the firewall" chat room where you plan this shit to play with my head

AviD

the grugq

@thegrugq, http://grugq.tumblr.com/

Information Security Pornstar :: Cultural Attaché :: PGP http://t.co/yjepezl4Ew :: Не верь, не бойся, не проси

113k tweets, 25.5k followers, following 319 users

Rоry McCune

@AviD so you're calling @Flyk a pornstar now..... tut tut tut

Flyk

I take major offence to that

AviD

...

Simon

15:25

Come on @AviD, that is rude.

Rоry McCune

@Flyk I would if I was you, terrible coming from a mod and all

Simon

Mod abuse.

AviD

> Information Security Pornstar

@Simon stop abusing me

Rоry McCune

@AviD exactly

Simon

Let's all listen to Scatman in unison.

I KILLED THE CHAT AGAIN

AviD

15:31

@Simon you ARE the scatman.

Simon

aw yuh boi

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

15:48

@Flyk You caught us.

Rоry McCune

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ sssssh. the first rule of "behind the firewall" is that you don't discuss "behind the firewall" !

Simon

You guys rejected my application for the "behind the firewall" access for the 35th time. When will you finally accept me?

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@Simon Lol, whoops, I mean your application is important to us and good luck in your future career.

3

Simon

ffs

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

So that's 36...

AviD

15:53

@RоryMcCune yeah, can we change the name? I've always objected to that name, its so stupid. Doesnt even mean anything.

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ well technically, we're not rejecting him. We are reserving the right to contact him in the future when we have something more... "fitting" for his "talents".

M'vy

I see

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@AviD Indeed. Thanking him for his interest in Behind The Firewall Trolling Inc.

Flyk

Would you form a relationship based on good sex, even if you're largely incompatible in most other areas?

Rоry McCune

@AviD sure raise it at the next "DMZ Illuminati" meeting

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@RоryMcCune Inebriati, surely?

AviD

15:55

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ make sure to keep him on hold indefinitely.

Simon

@AviD I made sure to specify that I can almost make drinkable coffee in my application. I just need a few years to perfection the art.

Rоry McCune

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ you've been watching too much Mitchell and webb

M'vy

@Flyk depends on your long term objective

Rоry McCune

@Flyk I thought that was the point of FWB relationships?

AviD

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ one shouldnt get fighty after 2 drinks

Flyk

15:56

Am I ever going to be invited inside the firewall?

@RоryMcCune he lives too far away for frequent

Rory Alsop

@Flyk erm.... it has been known....

depends on what you class as relationship

AviD

@Flyk so visit Finland once in a while.

Rory Alsop

@AviD hahahaha - you beat me to it

AviD

heh

Flyk

:/

Rоry McCune

15:57

@Flyk you did kind of walk into that one

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@Flyk Oh sure. All you need is to be able to program in every language ever written (both computer and non computer), know Red Hat and Linux, be proactive, dynamic, young and yet have 500 years' experience, be top of every topcoder competition ever, be able to pentest in your sleep...

and that will get you to our technical phone interview.

Rory Alsop

@Flyk have you ever thought which side of the firewall is inside...

AviD

@Flyk also, your OpSec is slipping, you've given away too much information.

Simon

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ Looks like only @RoryAlsop meets those requirements.

Flyk

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ if these are the requirements, none of you are in that channel

@AviD hardly

Rory Alsop

15:58

@Simon hahahahahaha

AviD

@Flyk we know it's a "he".

Ohnana

> Red Hat and Linux

Flyk

@AviD narrows it down to half the planet

Simon

@Ohnana A little redundant, isn't it?

Ohnana

do you drive toyotas and cars?

Rory Alsop

15:58

@Ohnana Aye - I have separate certs in Red Hat and Linux

AviD

@Flyk there ya go.

Rory Alsop

@Ohnana No - I drive cars

not Toyotas

Simon

^

M'vy

@RoryAlsop does not matter, you just have to trick the Firewall into believing you're on the inside part.

3

Flyk

@AviD that's not as specific as some things I've said in here

Rory Alsop

15:59

@Flyk every halving is ... well ... a halving

Ohnana

@RoryAlsop fair enough, it's quirky enough to require a different cert

Flyk

3 billion people isn't narrowing it down

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@Simon Deliberately so.

Simon

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ lies

Flyk

my brain hurts

Rory Alsop

16:00

:20086929 it's that last hundred that's tricky. However we know your FWB to be is male so we can rule out the members of the group of 100 that like same gender relationships

Flyk

I'm not talking about this anymore

Rory Alsop

me neither - I'm going to go and drive cars

Not Toyotas

commute time - wheeeeeee

later all

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@Simon Listen you. I demand Red Hat experience. Does Linux look similar to Red Hat to you? One has two words, the other has one. If that's not proof enough, one's logo is a red hat, the other is a penguin. They are not the same thing.

M'vy

see you

Flyk

I'm guessing that posting on twitter "LF strong attractive male for gentle caressing and lots of sex" is going to be counter productive

Ohnana

16:01

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ HNNNG

Simon

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@Simon That's Red Hat Linux. TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Three words.

Simon

Oh, my bad.

Flyk

stop talking about linux

ffs

this isn't the unix and linux chatroom

Simon

I totally wasn't aware that Red Hat, Linux and Red Hat Linux were 3 distinct things.

Gilles

16:03

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ Red Hat Linux? No can do, we only hire people who know Red Hat Enterprise Linux

Flyk

this is equestria in stealth mode

then Gilles arrives and increases the nerdiness to next level

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@Gilles zomg another one? Four words!

Simon

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ This is madness!

Flyk

THIS. IS. INFOSEEEEEEEEEC

...

Simon

I InfoSec your mom.

Flyk

16:04

your mom has no infosec

Ohnana

@Flyk ooh I bet they'd love this conversation

Gilles

@Flyk NO, THIS IS SPARTA

Flyk

your momma is so HUGE that infosec is pointless, since she's EVERYWHERE.

Simon

pls

Flyk

@Gilles oh, that's an actual thing that exists

AviD

16:05

@Simon yo momma's infosec is terrible. I just penetrated her last night.

3

I really need to start thinking before I type.

5

Simon

pls

Flyk

@AviD yes you do

you should also pin that message

yes you should

like you pinned @Simon's mom

Simon

@Flyk And pin your mom.

Oh come on.

Flyk

too slow

AviD

heh

Flyk

16:07

@Simon you can have my mom, she left me, as far as I'm concerned I'm going to set fire to her in the street if our paths ever cross again

Simon

soz

Flyk

so you might as well have her

AviD

@Flyk I think you should write a song about it.

Flyk

@AviD I did, did you not buy a copy of 1989?

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

@AviD Doesn't sound like the usual subject of country music, though, does it?

AviD

16:08

@Flyk that was about her??

Ohnana

@Simon you have really a really bad track record with yo momma jokes lol

AviD

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ time for a change.

Simon

@Ohnana My poor mom.

Flyk

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ that's why 1989 is a pop release

I do wish you'd keep up

huh, chat has gone more dead than if @Simon had just said hello

Simon

hello

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

16:20

@Flyk We are all listening to your new album.

Flyk

why would you do that

dirty pop music

I am going to set up a company in which all of my workers are minimum wage and on rolling day to day contracts so I can fire people when the internet annoys me

I shall call it FORK YEW

Simon

pls

AviD

is there any room for advancement?

Flyk

the company shall make forks and sporks

AviD

yknow, if the firing goes well, can I move up to being shitcanned?

Simon

16:25

I'm assuming the main revenues will be tears?

AviD

and eventually golden parachutes.

Flyk

@Simon psh, I'll run it at a loss

Simon

You're a loss.

AviD

in between will need some middle management, yknow like Director of Being Let Go

Flyk

I don't like middle management

when I do finally set up my company, it will be managementless

AviD

16:26

and Rightsizing Manager

Simon

You know what else is managementless?

Flyk

I would much rather employ people who can manage their own workloads, and occasionally step up to lead projects on a project to project basis

@Simon the ignore function

Simon

o

AviD

@Flyk stop trying to sound sensible.

you're not the first to do this.

Simon

My D is sensible.

Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ

16:28

@AviD No. Why would you want motivation?!

Flyk

@AviD of course not, valve do it also

@Simon s/sensible/microscopic/

Simon

pls

AviD

@Nוnɛfוngɛrϛ well its more a case of the CEO having something to look forward to.

if she knows she will have future chances to fire this person again, there wont be pressure to drag it out.

Flyk

@AviD besides, I am sensible

sure, I have a silly streak

everybody has a silly streak

AviD

@Flyk are we on rainbow hair again?

Flyk

16:30

no, no rainbow hair atm

Simon

@Flyk I don't.

Flyk

natural dark brown hair at the moment

@Simon erm

@Simon I think perhaps you don't have a sensible streak

Simon

pls

We've been through this already.

Flyk

publicly loved silliness?

AviD

pubic lice syndrome?

TildalWave

16:35

pretty lame @Simon

Simon

pl@

Flyk

pl@ ?

ZOMG

NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Simon

GG

AviD

YOU BROKE SIMON

YOU BASTAAAARDS

TildalWave

what just happened?

Flyk

16:36

@TildalWave Simon inb4'd me

overflow in care

AviD

@Flyk yeah, he inb4'd you. he inb4'd you real good.

31 mins ago, by AviD

I really need to start thinking before I type.

Shuddup. I stand by my words.

Simon

-.-

Flyk

if @Simon had done me real good, I'd never say another bad word about him. Ever.

AviD

They are meaningless.

Simon

@Flyk wtf

AviD

16:37

@Simon ikr

Flyk

That sounded better in my head

no it didn't, it just escaped before the filters kicked in

AviD

@Flyk together with all the other voices.

Flyk

2 out of 5 voices thought it was a good idea

the other three delayed for a moment too long

it is factual, though

AviD

lol you guise remember Herman's Head?

Flyk

I had to google it, so no

gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

so bored

boredooooooooooooooooooom

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

AviD

16:41

@Flyk go watch the first season of Herman's Head.

Flyk

I don't wanna

you can't make me

AviD

sooo '90s.

Flyk

you're not my dad

thankfully

can't imagine having somebody so uptight as my dad

would have definitely thrown me out for smoking weed

Simon

lulz

Flyk

banned me from using computers because I played games instead of learn c#

AviD

16:43

hahah, I'm uptight..... interesting.

everything is relative, I guess

Ohnana

@Flyk that's cruel

c# shouldn't be forced on anyone!

AviD

@Flyk I try not to have a double standard

@Ohnana I'd never force it. Though I would ban PHP.

Flyk

be honest, how would you react if your daughter started looking up to me as a role model

AviD

hahaha

Flyk

exactly!

Simon

16:44

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

Ohnana

o lawd

Flyk

@Simon ...

Simon

I didn't even mean that, calm down.

Flyk

nice to see it is universally considered to be a bad idea

Simon

I just wanted to join the party.

Flyk

16:45

@AviD is basically wetting himself irl

Simon

wat

Flyk

I even got mocked by @Simon

of all people, @Simon laughed at me

which is just... wow

oh look, a dunce hat

AND a corner!

sits

Ohnana

p sure this entire chat is the dunce collection

Flyk

If I died tonight, nobody would miss me

Simon

Stop lying to yourself you donut.

Flyk

16:56

no it's true, everybody online would just assume I'm busy, everybody in real life would just assume I'm busy

Ohnana

@Flyk announcing your 1 month sabbatical was enough to freak us out

so.

Flyk

@Ohnana that wasn't a freak out

It wouldn't be noticed that anything is out of the ordinary until the weekend, and I doubt that even that they'd care enough to actually find out what the deal is

Ohnana

@Flyk okay, we were mildly chuffed

Flyk

@Ohnana secretly everybody was like "yay"

and then slightly upset when I appeared the next day

I know the score

Simon

Secretly? We would just have said it.

Flyk

16:58

no you would have said it if you were joking, you wouldn't have said it if you genuinely meant it

you didn't say it, so I can only assume secret yaying

Simon

-.-

God damn it's complicated to deal with you sometimes.

Flyk

yes it is

Simon

Stop being so insecure about everything.

AviD

@Flyk ah but see, we knew you were thinking that, so we decided to mess with you and NOT say it.

Flyk

oh sure, it's so easy I will just flick the switch

AviD

16:59

basically we said it louder by not saying it at all.

Flyk

ding, suddenly I'm secure

Transcript for