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14:00
@AviD I DID NOT REQUEST A SUCH FTFY.
@Simon you needed one, regardless.
trust me on that one.
Fine, I'll trust you but still don't understand it.
@Simon ask @kalina.
@AviD I like the second one better lol
hm?
don't bring me into this
14:02
@Ohnana it was meh, too generic. Then I remembered this one, figured it was appropriate to pay tribute to a great man.
I DONT MEAN @SIMON
HE MEANS #ME
@AviD are you sure
I AM TALKING ABOUT @THEJOKER
@Simon "watch a movie" excuse?
yknow the difference between @Simon and the Joker?
The joker is an evil genius, and he has makeup.
Hmm. Wait.
"The Joker is an evil genius."
14:05
pls
@kalina Really?
The dude starts the movie and then BAM
@Simon you're going to have to clarify what you mean
The D is out.
@Simon please tell me you haven't attempted this on a live human
@Ohnana or a dead one, for that matter
because if you have I'd like to personally slap you
14:06
@Ohnana No but apparently that's a thing.
k good
@Simon you hang out with awful people.
@Simon so who did this to you?
is the BAM an exaggeration
@AviD wat
raz
raz
@Ohnana Are internet slaps as good as internet hugs?
14:07
@kalina I'm not sure.
raz
raz
We all know @Simon feeling on internet hugs.
do you mean like when a guy finds the scariest movie he can with the intention that you'll end up hugging for comfort?
@raz it wouldn't be an internet slap
@raz Fucking useless retarded shit.
(e-hugs that is)
@Simon yay for fuzz purple unicorns!
raz
raz
14:08
@Simon I was gonna say!
oo ouch that was harsh
e-hugs are still hugs
fine don't answer me I'll just go back to what I was doing
@AviD See, now that's something you should fix but nooo.
You're too busy not fixing it.
You non-fixing bastard.
@kalina i pretty sure he's talking about luring people to your house for sex under the pretense of "movies" because ofc you can't just leave
@Simon happy? Now I'm not calling you a useless retarded shit.
14:09
I MEANT MY SENTENCE YOU DONUT.
FFS.
@Simon durp
why? occasional cuss words are not bannable.
@Ohnana right, only a truly stupid person would invite me back to their house to pull something like that
@Ohnana you pretty sure gud.
@kalina they don't understand... they'd be trapped with YOU
ok I'm just going to answer the question with a "no, I've never had that happen", so we can move on
wait are you asking if I would do that?
you really don't know me at all...
14:14
uggggh I hate being half-showered
@kalina and whose fault is THAT??
fuck you fire alarm
Poor fire alarm doing its job and getting insulted.
@Simon It's not my fault the stupid thing doesn't like my cooking skills.
@AviD BECAUSE SOMEONE COULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT I WAS INSULTING RAZ
@Arperum Our fire alarms are probably related.
14:20
@Simon I missed something.
13 mins ago, by Simon
@raz Fucking useless retarded shit.
@Simon heeeeyyy
What if someone thought that was directed towards him?
@AviD yours
Blargh, whatevs.
14:21
@Simon now why would you call me that??
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
@Simon do you have Narcissistic Mental Retardation Disorder ?
pls
@Simon I currently don't have one, their were two of these things in my previous house, one died of old age long before I got to living in that house, the other got banned to some drawer until further notice for not properly sticking to the ceiling and for draining stupid amounts of battery power.
14:23
Back when I lived in a student room/apartment/ whatever i did cause the alarm to go of once, and it regularly went of around 3 AM because someone had lighted a "candle".
@Arperum I hope you actually replaced them.
@Simon the alarms, or the people who light candles at 3 AM?
@Simon I did replace the one near the goddamn kitchen when I left the house.
@Arperum my partner set our wok on fire with peanut oil. thankfully the building alarm didn't go off because it was the kitchen
@AviD Look at the post I replied to.
@Arperum Good boy.
14:25
oh I know what you meant, doesnt mean it wasnt ambiguous.
@Ohnana Yea, the idiot houseowner of tmy previous house had to install the alarm right next to the kitchen.
@Arperum you want one near the kitchen
it's where a ton of fires happen
I need more monitors.
@Ohnana Also in the bedroom if your girl is on fire.
@Ohnana But not in such a place that it'll go up when you are just cooking.
14:26
@Simon you and your weird canadian sex acts.
Get one which has temp/smoke combined detection and enough intelligence to distinguish between burnt toast and imminent death from burnination
@Simon Fire doesn't cause the alarm to go of, smoke does.
@Arperum That's what you get for blazin'.
@Arperum yeah, placement is everything. then again, do you do a lot of smoky cooking?
@AviD have set myself and others "on fire" before. 10/10 would recommend to all interested
heya
14:30
@RoryAlsop and make sure it can connect wirelessly to the internet, so you can get notifications on your phone and relevant ads when you need them most.
@Arperum that's smoke detectors, but you can also have temp sensors, obviously :P
tho you might wanna calibrate for your gf's hotness
I see @Simon is in a good mood :)
Can a dying man be in a good mood?
I'd like to remind all of you that I'm dying due to this severe cold.
@Simon As long as you're still around though, do you mind digging a hole we can put you into when you finally keel over? It'll save us the trouble. Thanks.
3
14:38
I was hoping so much that you would read this line.
@TildalWave error 404: girlfriend not found :(
@Simon Not nearly enough drama. I've seen more convincing Molière play and that one is supposed to be a comedy :P
@TildalWave It's perfect drama for our soap.
@Iszi Did you write the first season yet?
@Simon DMZ: The Hypochondriac Chronicles?
No, just "The DMZ".
It's short, clean and sweet.
Just like me!
14:43
@Simon that name sadly suggest we can't put you out of your misery with a coup de grâce
@Simon i think we define those words differently
pls all
@Simon Well, 1 out of 3 ain't bad I guess.
PLS
Seriously tho what have you tried? I thought you'd have all kinds of flu remedies in Canada, some might even taste good
like, say, pine syrup in schnaps
14:46
I'd suggest to go back to basics:
This is probably the weakest cold I've ever had.
I can almost enjoy it.
It even has a name: Arthur.
14:59
oo yay! @ThomasPornin just noticed that your xkcd answer finally passed @jeff's simanswer.
he still has more upvotes though :-(
@AviD Upvotes are only loosely correlated with technical quality.
@ThomasPornin oh of course.
they are, however, more closely correlated with visibility of said answer
not to mention the perceived value, in the eye of the typical site user.
I suddenly began to see horses... how weird
An open question is how high your own answer would be if it did not have a conspicuous red "+500" displayed next to it.
(the bearavatar doesnt show up till the end to grant the seal of bearcorrectness.)
@ThomasPornin this is true too
though I actually think the fact that it is first to be seen in a loooong page (and it is a relatively short, easily graspable answer) has more effect.
15:06
@ThomasPornin free hand circles improves the technical quality of any answer
August '11 ... wow that much?
@kalina uhh there are no circles at all in any of the answers
@Simon that's not what you were saying yesterday
@AviD your answers are all crap
heh
@kalina I did say it at one point.
15:08
I assume because I dont have any freehand circles.
@AviD entirely because you avoid using free hand circles where free hand circles should be used
I assume that, because I assume you dont have the technical wherewithal to understand any of my answers. ;-)
@AviD wow
heehee
at least before that moment I felt like I was successfully pretending to be smart
15:09
OHMYGOD IAMBURNING!!! #SpontaneousCombustion
the technical what?
@M'vy wat*
@M'vy thats a word
@Simon thats not, lol
@AviD :"the money or other means needed for a particular purpose"
guess you can learn things everyday
15:11
It's all good, @AviD just tried to insult me about understanding technical discussion, using a word that doesn't mean what he meant. I know that in this channel that basically survives of irony and sarcasm that this event will not be missed.
@AviD you should use that word 2 or 3 other times later in the week so that we correctly assimilate the meaning.
@kalina umm, why do you think it does not mean what I meant?
it means exactly what I meant.
are you saying you dont have the wherewithal to google that word?
or bing it. you could bing that sh*t.
So you're either saying I do not have the financial resources to understand what you say
@M'vy thats 1. ;-)
@AviD I'll bing yo ass
15:13
which is bullshit, because most homeless people can afford that
:)
@kalina "or other means" but it usually refers to money
@kalina no, I specifically said "technical wherewithal".
or you're saying that my mental "resources" are insufficient
in which case you have got to be kidding me
@Ohnana not "usually", but often.
@kalina yes, this ;-)
you see, making fun of @Simon has gotten boring. Too easy a target.
15:14
I could understand any one of your posts if the topic of conversation didn't bore me to death
@AviD that winky face isn't going to save you
@Ohnana one can hope
not my fault that the field you've chosen to dedicate your existence to is boring
@AviD pls
@Simon you are too easy
this little boy thinks he can just jump from the little leagues into the top tier of the international stage in teh space of a sentence
15:16
It's too easy to get me to flap my arms and fly?
you can't distract me with something that tiny
I've got eyelashes with more length in them than that
dude. stop making me need to ftfy you.
#me
STOP HASHTAGGING YOURSELF!
read as teabagging
15:18
wat
@kalina lol, sfunny I was thinking that as I was typing it
@kalina get the BBQ boys, it's a roastin out here
I don't eat meat
except bacon
or chicken
or mcdonalds
@kalina I've eaten bbq tofu before. as long as it's the firm stuff it's pretty good
@Ohnana tofu isn't even food
@kalina mcdonalds is not really meat tho
15:20
softer stuff just mushes and makes thickened bbq sauce that's slightly bitter
@kalina take that back! tofu is a gift from nature
@Ohnana s'all about the salty bitterness
@TildalWave she probably meant the guy :)
Hum, as soon as you type in a Windows 8.1 upgrade key, it validates it.
It took probably 3 seconds to validate it, would that be way too much downtime to make a bruteforce attack worthwhile?
@Ohnana youre a gift from nature.
@M'vy no
15:22
@Simon likely they have mitigations around that.
I did not include penis on the list because the list of "meats I eat"
@AviD I guess so too.
and that would be cannibalism
bobbitism
no she cut it off and threw it outside
15:23
cooked it
@AviD I like to think I am
and I would have done too
simonism
@Simon no such thing
ever
and I just trademarked it
@kalina plz no
15:23
under my alias "Sailor Twift"
6
so that noone else will ever use it
I feel like that every time I star one of @kalina's post, a kitten dies.
@Simon why do you feel like that?
Darn that's a lot of kittens
I can't tell.
15:25
@Simon I missed the "feel", so I read it as "I like that... a kitten dies".
you sickh bastaaard.
sickh
I feel like every time you breath you take is at the expense of somebody more deserving
pls
stop begging
15:26
@AviD ;)
@M'vy Are you Charlie?
@AviD I feel like jeff dunham caters to the lowest denominators and the reasonably intelligent at the same time.
@Simon if by this you mean, do I oppose terrorism in work offices , I guess I am.
@Ohnana is cool how he does that, no?
@Ohnana like with Bubba J.
@AviD yeah, i'm not a big fan but I can appreciate what he does
15:28
@M'vy right. Terrorism should be confined to restaurants and movie theaters, where it belongs.
@AviD don't make me say things I did not :)
Restaurants?
wat
@M'vy hehe, because we would neeever do that in the DMZ. ;-)
@AviD stop fatfingering everything, jeez
2
@Ohnana peanutfingering
hard to type while eating peanuts
15:30
@Ohnana he can't help it, he has fat fingers
@M'vy look at you being all restrained
:19914045 lies
ah bugger i missed it
@Ohnana I was being too #simon-esque
he said he had longer slender fingers just like his pencil shaped penis
#me
wat
what
15:33
@kalina maybe he should stop typing with said pencil shaped appendage
that could explain a lot
I notice he's gone all quiet now
watching achhhhmed
still funny
Maybe he got it stuck again in the vacuum.
@AviD Accchhmael? Achmael Foley?
@RoryAlsop heh nice
hey look, its @RoryAlsop! ;-)
oh wait, I'll find the clip with Bubba J and call it @Simon.
15:38
Bubba from Forest Gump?
oh snap
nct
nct*2
#
s
i
m
o
n
15:40
gj
leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerory jenkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins
barneeeeeeeyyyyy stinsooooooonnnnn
you two are both very bored aren't you...
yes
@AviD eh?
15:43
go answer questions
@kalina go write some music or something thing, some sort of jump/hard/soft/style
@RоryMcCune How can I be bored? I'm doing some VB6 again.
@JeffFerland hmm?
@Simon ok not bored, suicidal
@JeffFerland ah sorry, other jeff
15:43
what the fuck have i walked into?
4
atwood that is
@RоryMcCune She doesn't master the art of distorted kick, she can't do that.
@JeffFerland the DMZ
@RоryMcCune no
@RоryMcCune This can't be the right room. Everybody has their clothes on.
15:44
@JeffFerland YOU HAVE ENTERED... THE DMZ!!
@Simon I can distorted kick at will
@JeffFerland my kinda guy
@JeffFerland I'm dying of a cold, you might need to find another aspiring janitor.
@JeffFerland that from someone that prolly just came from FB :)
@Simon I think you may have her style of music down wrong apparently she's more into pop these days than dance (think robbie williams or the spice girls)
15:44
I wish you'd just hurry up and die from it
@RоryMcCune "the spice girls" good god you're old
@RоryMcCune Oh my.
they were old when i was born
@Ohnana it was @kalina that mentioned them!
I haven't mentioned the spice girls once today
15:45
@kalina no it was yesterday
when you were being an aspiring pop mogul
@Simon: find an excuse to come have a beer with me in Toronto.
there's no way that you remembered that far back at your age
But you just did now. Pls resume :)
@kalina when someone makes me remember the spice girls (blech) that tends to stick in my memory
@JeffFerland Ah damn it, it would have been nice if you were in Montreal.
15:46
@RоryMcCune you're just going to have to deal with it
@Simon It would be nice. I haven't been there in I think five years now. Last time I rode a Ninja 250 from Portland, Maine.
@RоryMcCune so, you dont often look at the posters on your bedroom wall?
Drove right between two moose too.
@JeffFerland I'm jealous.
@AviD heh currently on my wall is a GoT calendar, a map of Westeros, a map of middle earth, a Simons cat print and cat pictures
no pop groups in site
15:48
BTW should we make DMZ a Facebook page so at least random third world non-English speakers like stuff @Simon says?
@RоryMcCune was a boyzone and a westlife fan, obviously
@TildalWave no, it would cause a war
@JeffFerland If you plan to come back, wait until summer though.
@kalina so by spreading the DMZ gospel one starts a war?
@Simon You don't say. Which brings me to my next problem: WTF am I doing in Toronto next week? :P
@kalina what part of "no pop groups in sight" was tricky there? you were probably more a Robbie fan though right? he's from round your neck of the woods
15:50
@TildalWave EVERYBODY STOP TALKING ABOUT SPREADING THINGS
@JeffFerland Oh man I have absolutely no idea, haha. Are you there for business?
@Simon Interviewing new janitors
@AviD Mmm, Nutella...
@JeffFerland Bahaha, awesome. There are a bunch of candidates in Toronto?
@AviD just because you're spreading it thin doesn't mean everyone else does
@Simon University of Waterloo
15:51
@TildalWave that.... didnt make sense
Oh.
@AviD exactly
@AviD you're in the DMZ what did you expect?
@M'vy quality insults and sodomy
@AviD aw yis
15:54
good afternoon gents
@LucasKauffman hears sodomy, he comes running
@LucasKauffman Afternoon
good lord everyone's around today
@AviD only if it's in your ass :3
4
@RоryMcCune Not everyone
15:55
@LucasKauffman are you coming on to me?
@Kisunminttu well lots of people :) @Adnan-Adi not about?
@RоryMcCune Missing from the group :'(
@AviD maybe I am... wondering if you're also orange and striped down there wink
What on earth is going on? :D
@Kisunminttu aww you locked him in the basement again?
15:56
imagine a circumsized tiger
3
@RоryMcCune Nah, I'm in the basement now, but I got better wifi reception
@LucasKauffman ymean oversized tiger
hue hue hue
@JeffFerland If you're allowed to tell, what is the knowledge you're looking for in those candidates?
General programming experience or security stuff?
@Kisunminttu anything for better Internet!
15:57
@Simon php and donut experience
@LucasKauffman aw yeah boi
@RоryMcCune All hail hypternet
@RоryMcCune you don't even know where my neck of the woods is
oh, @LucasKauffman in lowering the tone shocker
@JeffFerland Guessing it would require relocation?
@Simon Can program. Know Linux. Good systems debugging. Understanding swap, system calls, and RAID is a simple sieve.
15:59
Nice.

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