They'd like you to give as much notice as possible, but that doesn't mean you have to.

hahaha "sexism" tag. What it has to do with the question? Would men be treated different?

Nice request, but they likely wouldn't do the same. I'd communicate as much and say I'd give the usual expected amount of notice if I ever do leave. Then reiterate that this isn't the current plan.

@BЈовић "Would men be treated different?" Yes, yes they would, and frequently are. The assumption here is that because OP is now married that she would like nothing better than to stay home and keep house while her husband goes out to work. That is the very definition of sexism. The only way this isn't sexism is if 1) all managers have this conversation with all staff members all the time and 2) this was happening frequently before the wedding was announced, both of which are unlikely in the extreme.

I have been told the same thing a few months ago, I am a male, and not getting married. Should I feel discriminated... ?

@Itération122442 I'm sure you'll find a reason to.

Of course they want to know if you plan on resigning. You would, too, if you were in their shoes, since you'd be responsible for finding a replacement.

@RonJohn Sure, they want to know, but all they are entitled to is the agreed notice period. And they really ought to realize that pressing the issue is a good way to make the resignation happen.

@j4nd3r53n I didn't even hint that they were entitled to anything more.

I believe in innocent until guilty so even if this is sexist, it's just inherent that some people thought if a women marries chances are when they decide to have a child most likely the wife will be burdened with more laborious task most of the time. maybe the manager is just concerned purely because she really is an irreplaceable asset at that point.

That then just becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy then @encryptoferia, if you assume the wife will be burdened then when they come up for promotion, consciously or unconsciously you'll be thinking "what if she leaves, it's safer to give it to the guy", etc, etc. Better not to assume and actually challenge these things.

@ThaRobster Recognizing the reality of a situation and acting accordingly is not sexism. Women simply often quit their jobs after getting married and there are people in this world who do not actively try to avoid to recognize patterns.

This is the American situation where people don't have contracts with minimum notice requirements in both directions, isn't it.

so accommodating for woman / men is a sexist act , that's what you mean? woman should have men urinal too?

"I’ve had such a bad feeling about this meeting all week and I would love anyone’s advice on how they would handle this situation." - I don't understand the bad feeling. It's perfectly reasonable for them to ask for as much notice as possible from a key employee. But that doesn't compel you to actually give any more notice than you want, when the day inevitably comes that you do leave or retire. Is there something else going on here?

@JoeStrazzere, so the bad feeling I’m getting is from the comments that were made. I didn’t go into detail but one of the things said to me was “well you’re going to want to start a family” regardless of knowing whether or not I even want children or can have children. Also mentioned that I won’t want to be in office if my husband is so far despite me living this way for the past few years. Both me and my fiancé work in the city together and they know this so it was just a very odd conversation that left me feeling off. I feel like I’m being asked to quit so they can replace me.

Your boss knows someone that wants your job. He suggested to them you may be ready to leave soon.

@encryptoferia In what way is asking if someone is going to quite soon "accommodating?" "Accommodating" women is giving a generous maternity leave policy, not making oblique comments about their likelihood to quit based on their personal life.

I don't see any sexism here. If we go by history and statistics, plenty of women leave the workforce, either permanently or temporarily, to start a family. OP's boss is not saying anything outlandish, sexist or remotely discriminatory. Let's put a stop to that victim mentality. Many women leave the workforce to start a family. That's a fact. Boss is worried his bus factor is 1. What he should do is to get OP an assistant and/or coleague to lower it to .5.

Odd comment about starting a family, for most people it's hard to surprise your employer short notice on a pregnancy. Typically, people give 5-6 months notice for that. Is that not enough?

What country is this in?

The sexism tag is 100% relevant. The comments on this question prove it.

@DKNguyen In a comment on one of the answers OP says Canada

@JoeStrazzere "It's perfectly reasonable for them to ask for as much notice as possible from a key employee" Is it normal for US employers to ask employees if they have any intention of leaving, each time a worker is discovered dating someone for longer than six months or is actually cohabiting?

(2) When a couple, married or not, legally adopts a child and asks for family leave, is it standard policy for US employers to assume that one of the two will eventually take on the role of homemaker while the other "works"? What if the unmarried couple are non-binary? Who is less likely to continue working after the birth or arrival of a child?

I am seeing workplace baby showers very differently now.

@ThaRobster "That is the very definition of sexism." Guess what my 32F wife did just before we got married? That's right... she quit her job to stay home to take care of our first child.

@Anonymouspotato *one of the things said to me was "well you’re going to want to start a family”. * You absolutely, positively 100% should have mentioned that from the beginning in your not-actual-question.