@dpollitt Not to mention a Lumiquest on his EX600 RT

*600EX-RT

@MichaelClark Wow, even more amazing. I didn't know he used a flash at all.

@dpollitt Hey, it wasn't quite this, though.

I don't buy the line "I bring my camera because I enjoy photography". That isn't what AJ was doing, he was bringing his camera as insurance against the professional screwing up. Further, if it is just about enjoyment, consider the other guests and how intrusive you are to their enjoyment. Regardless of how hard one tries, a full frame body, with large f/2.8 zoom lenses, a flash, and softbox, even in "silent" mode is intrusive to others especially at a church ceremony.

Everyone here enjoys photography or we wouldn't be on this site, but there is a line and in my opinion it was crossed in this situation. I'd be angry if was I the paid photographer, no question. I would also be angry if I was a guest!

Maybe it's time to get a small mirrorless body for these times of "enjoyment"? Leave the full frame body with flash at home.

@AJHenderson - I believe you to be a stand-up guy as far as I can tell so don't take my criticism of this situation too directly. I think what situation you were faced with is one that other photographers struggle with as well and is an honest one. Props to you for bringing your challenges to the community for feedback.

@dpollitt yeah, thanks, and I understand.

@dpollitt it's a mix, it's partly for my own photos (I like my photos more than any professional, no matter who they are) and partly because I'm a bit paranoid about things going wrong or seeing shots I can't get. I care a lot about photography and the photographic record, so I can't shut it off. I just can't, I get all nervous and feel like shit if I didn't do something that I could have and someone gets screwed

it's arguably a character flaw in a sense, but that's part of who I am, for better or worse

but the feedback overall has been very good. I never really thought about some of the reasons that people might have a problem with it that don't apply to my way of thinking about photography and wedding photography in general

I think that's part of why I got so messed up by the situation too, because I was truly caught off guard, but talking to people in advance from now on should help I think

for me, I've literally never thought anything of another photographer or videographer present, as long as they stay out of the way and even when they don't, I've never found it too hard to work around or too hard to approach them if needed. It's never been a source of stress at all for me

so I was completely clueless to the gear fear stress that Abdul brought up

and didn't really fully appreciate the stress of stepping in front of someone. Personally, if I'm there as the pro, I know that I'm there to get shots for the couple and I know they are top priority, so I have 0 issue stepping in front of someone if I have to. I'll avoid it if I can, but it doesn't bother me at all to do so if I have to

but I know I hide it well, but I'm much more confident than most people ;)

(ok, probably a little too much at times)

@dpollitt note I take the flash off whenever possible when casual and don't use it at all around key shots or the ceremony

cause yeah, it would be distracting. I also sit off to the far side to be the least distracting and most out of the way possible

I personally feel like that's a good amount of mitigation against being a distraction, particularly since I am not shooting all the time. I'd say I spent maybe 15 to 20 minutes shooting during a 7 hour wedding, mostly at the reception

does that still fit with your understanding or alter it any, just wanted to make sure we were talking about the same thing

@dpollitt That's just because of backing off so far, I don't have a whole lot of good images in that and most of them were shot close together because of the number of shots I knew would be crap. The more typical number for just going is like 125ish

and that's still including a couple of bursts

(because there are still times when I'm not using flash when I otherwise would)

@dpollitt ok, so wanted to make a different response to this as I've been thinking a lot about this over the last couple of days and trying to understand what matters to me about the situation. I do think I can honestly say my primary motivation is that I simply love taking photos. I take my camera with me anywhere that isn't completely routine and even then I sometimes take my camera, so I don't really see why weddings should be any different since it's what I normally do and part of...

who I am... that said... I also value not causing issues more than that, so I can shut that part of my brain off and lock it away

I might not enjoy the wedding personally quite as much as I could have, but whatever, it will be ok. What actually causes me problems is the concern side

that's the part I can't shut off. It's a minor part of my reason for wanting to take photos overall, but it's the part that ruins my day by making me a nervous wreck when I'm worried about my friend or family having a lasting negative impression of their wedding because of something I could have prevented. That's also why, when backed in to a corner, I'll do whatever I have to to avoid ruining their day myself, but it makes me extremely, extremely uncomfortable

to the point that I really, have to actively try, very hard, to even have a hope of being able to enjoy myself

it's not so much actively mistrusting the photographer (unless they are very obviously doing a poor job, such as missing major shots or getting piss drunk and not able to hold the camera straight), so much as being the type of person with the very bad combination of "anything that can go wrong will" mentality crossed with "if I could have fixed it and didn't, it is my fault"

certainly talking to the photographer in advance should help on both sides though. Both making sure they know about me and how we can communicate easily, and also for me to know more about them and (hopefully) put my mind more at ease to be able to better try to suppress the "anything that can go wrong will" part of my brain

the part I'm still trying to rule out is if seeing someone doing what I consider a poor job directly bothers me.

I don't think it does, in cases where it doesn't impact me directly, but it's hard to sort out my motivations to be sure. I do know I don't go to many concerts anymore as a result of frequently being distracted by bad sound or lighting, simply because I'm good at those fields,

but the difference there is that it directly impacts my personal experience, where as, outside of a photographer that is constantly in everyone's faces, a bad photographer is only going to impact the people that hired them. That makes me pretty sure that that isn't part of the problem for me, but I'm still trying to verify that in my own head, just as a matter of full disclosure.

(And I certainly don't think it would be fair of me if that was part of what was going on, which is why I'm taking longer to make sure it really isn't the case.)

(also, sorry about the wall of text, I have a lot on my mind obviously :) )

although I suppose my observation of them does impact my level of nervousness, but that isn't really the same as seeing what I worry may be a poor job directly impacting my enjoyment (if that makes any sense) Basically, it may start setting off warning bells that cause my paranoid side to get worried, but it isn't that the way they are doing their job is actually what is directly distracting me or bothering me, but that's such a complex interaction...

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