3-4 hours of commuting total isn't that bad assuming that's total there and back. Very different when done via train where you're just chilling reading a book, or when you're driving where a longer commute is much more taxing

@Touniouk, I'm afraid I don't agree either. 30 minutes each way is a general standard for an acceptable commute. A full hour each way is extreme. Two hours each way, on top of an eight-hour working day under ordinary conditions, is completely inconsistent with health and good performance. The employer is effectively raising this point - some conventional aspects of performance may be sufficient, but they are clearly detecting that his social engagement with colleagues is beneath an expected minimum for someone in his capacity, and that's where the non-performance is being demonstrated.

When I lived in Sunnyvale, CA, it was common knowledge that people were commuting up to 2 1/2 hours each way from Stockton, Santa Rosa, and other places because of the high prices of living spaces. CBS reported that over 95,000 people commuted over 90 minutes each way into the Bay Area. cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/…

@DavidR Well, that's why we have country tags on questions. In Germany, a 2.5 hour drive might as well take you into another country. I have looked at maps and I have not idea how one commutes 100km in 2.5 hours... is traffic that bad there? Don't they have trains? Anyway, that might be normal elsewhere, but it is a point of note for employers in Germany. Because it will take a toll on people's life and thereby work performance. I'm sure it does in CA, too.

@nvoigt: Traffic can be that bad in Germany. I used to drive about 75 km from home to work. On a weekend day, that's a little over an hour. On a week day, traffic made it so bad that it took closer to 1 hour 45 minutes. Bus and train was no better. It took over 2 hours to get to work by bus and train - and that long to get home again. Provided the trains were on time - and they almost never were.

@Steve A one hour commute (one way) is not considered extreme in Germany, it's quite common when people move to the countryside (often when they have children, though my mind boggles why anyone wanted to make their life even more complicated after having kids) - they don't change jobs.

@nvoigt yes, the traffic is that bad there. Many days, it was routine to take an hour to go 15 km on the highway.

@Steve I work in Manhattan, and a large percentage (almost all) of the employees at my (large) company commute ~1hr each way daily, some more (1.5-2hrs).

@Esther, there's always a counter example, of which the OP is one, but the statistics are quite clear that only a small minority are ever engaged in such long commutes at any one time, and fewer still will sustain it.

"it was common knowledge that people were commuting up to 2 1/2 hours each way from Stockton, Santa Rosa" True, and a major cause of low job satisfaction!

Yeah, that one line ruins this Answer for me. Many people have no problem commuting for that long per day, and there's no inherent reason to believe doing so would be harmful to one's work ethic or health. Heck, you can't even know they don't enjoy the commute. Many people do. Just because it would be horrible for you doesn't mean it would necessarily be for others. And surely of all of us here, the OP is in the best position to know if it is causing them problems.

IN fact, they specifically say they do enjoy the commute: "Also, I find local trains and buses very comfortable and use commuting time to think about various things."

There is no way someone who gets up at 5 in the night to be on time for the 8:00 work meeting enjoys their train ride so much they are as fresh and fit as someone who got up at 7. I have not met such a super human being yet. It might be normal in other countries and cultures, where almost every employee has this problem, and therfore all are equally exhausted, but if they are the only one, it will show. It will also show in your appearance if you slept on a crowded commuter train train for an hour, or if you came straight from home awake and freshly showered.

@WernerCD, something must give in the typical case, that is the only certainty. The fact that you make the same distinction as the OP between performance and social interaction, could be an indication that what gives first is collegiality - the most likely effect of which does not show in the performance of the uncollegiate person, but in the performance of those around them and the collective mood. Often employers pay super-normal salaries precisely so that certain tendencies which exacerbate under strain, are not put under strain.

Why such specific assumptions about how OP dresses for work? OP hasn't said anything so specific. For all we know, OP doesn't dress for work the way you think they do.

@RosieF The OP has literally said in their comments (now moved to chat): "I bought my clothes long ago in my home country [...] some very basic t-shirts, jeans, and shoes".

As strange as it may seem for people here, I have worked with someone that had a 2 hour commute one way. They lived in the countryside. It was a car drive followed by a train ride. Unfortunately I wasn't aware that it was unacceptable at the time, and couldn't educate them about their life choices. Pity I didn't know you guys back then!

@GregoryCurrie That someone probably had a support system in place (stereotypically called family) that would help them. The OP does not.