I have an employee at a mid-size IT startup who is texting during our Daily Standup meetings. It's just a text or two at a time, but it's obviously personal. They get emotionally involved, tune out of the meeting, it's visible to others, and has been going on for 3 weeks without a miss.
I'm fine ...
"I'm aware of their office romance" How does this factor into it? Are you willing to publicly admit that you've been reading the messages they've been sending? Why would you care who he's sending personal texts to?
@Flater I don't read anyone's messages, just noticed it visually. But I don't want to bring this matter up. I don't care who it is, just that it's causing them to tune out.
@HK-51 "I don't read anyone's messages, just noticed it visually" I'm not saying that this can't be factually true; but it's not going to come across that way. I suggest dropping all mention of the recipient in order to not let your point be distracted.
Maybe, the first thing to do is to send out a general message to the whole team to remind everyone not to check phones for personal texts during daily standup meetings. If the problem persists, you can try to have a quick chat with some individuals. (There may be some occasional exceptions for rare situations such as family illness, etc...)
@Job_September_2020 It's deliberate texting during a meeting to get a personal response - courting, sexting, etc - effectively leaving the rest of us, that is the issue. I'm fine with non-recreational use of phones, and switch people to unsupervised remote (basically work-if-you-want policy) when they have a family illness.
What have you tried already? I don't see why a "Hey Alex, please stop texting during our standup." is an issue. After all, you're not just this person's manager - you're the one HIRING this person's manager. You should not need to justify such an obviously professional request.
@corsiKa I'm letting everyone else text, because they do it for immediate work reasons only, without distraction. Guess I feel awkward about the chance that I'll have to admit I know more than they think I know, and explain to them that it's the subject of their texting that makes it non-work-appropriate.
@HK-51 I don't understand why you'd let someone use their phone at all during a 10 minute standup meeting. If what someone says is so unimportant that someone else can just ignore it, they should simply not say that and move on with the standup faster. These aren't angsty teens you have working for you, they can put their dopamine boxes down for 10 minutes. Source: former angsty teen still addicted to his dopamine box.
Can you find a way to make them aware of being distracted by somehow timing a question to them while they are texting? Self-recognition might be better than any hints.
@HK-51 - This is rather silly. Either you let everyone text, or you let nobody text. You don't choose one individual and say "You can text, because I see that you are emotionally involved." For a 10 minute standup meeting, I fail to see a problem asking everyone to pay attention and refrain from texting.
Is the point of a standup not to leave the work situation with all the technology? Have you said something, when someone took their mobile during standup? How is the power distance an issue, in the first place?
"This is complicated by high power distance, patriarchal culture the employee grew up in. Even a single embarrassing conversation could damage their self-esteem that's been difficult to build up." This addition completely changes the question, in my opinion, and makes it a much harder one (because, as a manager, it is literally your job to have potentially embarrassing discussions with your employees, when necessary). Can you ask a peer of her (ideally of the same gender) to drop a hint about her phone usage?
@Heinzi You're right, that's why I had to ask in the first place. It's easier to wrestle someone tough than to manage someone who might be overly impacted.
@JoeStrazzere There's a significant difference, or I see it as significant, between confirming patch deployment and exchanging love letters during a business meeting.
@user3819867 We come from multiple countries, the culture in question is Middle Eastern in this case.
I think I can infer the answer to this, but "emotionally involved" positively or negatively? If they're showing excitement and positive emotions, then the answers below are valid - it can wait. My worry would be that they're repeatedly checking their phone because they're anxious about something (maybe something personal). The kindest way to deal with that would be to ease the anxiety if you can.
I've imagined myself in that situation, and it wouldn't be pleasant. What they're doing, an office romance, is already inappropriate. (Not to mention I know personal things about their partner not being the monogamous type, not even temporarily, while she feels like she's struck gold).
If I was her friend, I'd tell her all of this. If I was her shrink, I'd help her realize all of this. But I'm neither. All I can do is try to avoid this becoming water cooler talk. Maybe I should help both of them find new opportunities. But I'm not omniscient - maybe a bedroom flick is all they both will be…
@ZOMVID-21 you can tell her straight out to "keep it in the bedroom" then, if it's really that obvious from looking at her what's happening. Or even better, if it's really that obvious, possibly you can get one of her peers that she trust to point it out and say it's obvious, that way it sounds like "helpful advice: not appropriate for work" rather than "boss says you must obey".
You most definitely shouldn't tell them everything you know about their partner or any personal opinions/advice, just that it is inappropriate to be acting that way in a meeting.
Discussion on question by HK-51: How …
Discussion on question by HK-51: How …