last day (15 days later) » 

17:54
1
Q: Should I have just minded my own business?

user311438I'm currently in the midst of a temporary position as an admin assistant/assistant to practice manager in a medium-sized city law firm. I have written several posts about the nepotist/toxic environment this firm has although this could be indicative of most city law firms. One of my responsibilit...

could you add a countrytag pls?
I have added a country tag.Thanks Benjamin
Exactly what was the wording of the email you sent?
The email sent to all partners after I had spoken in person to this particular partner, was along the lines that I was new to the post and was responsible for ordering partners lunches each week. That I couldn't see any kind of dietary/allergy requirements listed and if anybody had something could they please inform me so I could let the catering know.
I suspect you're just a bad culture fit, and they just don't like you. When they happens, they'll start seeing what you do in a negative light. If you were overly assertive and blaming minorities for wasting food, I can see they point of view, though I suspect that wasn't the tone of your email.
17:54
I think that they just don't like me. I am in no way blaming minorities. It is no different than me seeing a Muslim with a headscarf and asking if they eat partners lunch and I could make some alternative arrangement if not. I have a Buddhist vegetarian mum and I don't think she would be in anyway offended if somebody asked her if she was a vegetarian because they were in charge of ordering lunches and couldn't see any note to that effect
@user855286 I suspect some will expect you not to approach minority people and instead allow them to come to you if they have concerns.
"I also believe it is discriminatory to me. " - in what way?
Yes they seem to keep extending the contract on a rolling basis when it suits them. The woman who I'm covering for doesn't seem to want to return.…… I wonder why?
@user311438 - I wonder why are you still there?
Well Joe, obviously I can't just live on water and air. Doesn't mean that I'm bottom of the pile or someone who should walk on eggshells just because I need money to be able to live and be part of society.
17:54
@user311438 - those are reasons why you need to work. They aren't reasons why you need to continue to work at a job/company you clearly dislike.
"drew attention to the differences between him and the other partners" Whose attention are you supposed to have drawn? You only spoke to the Orthodox partner himself.
The moment you sent the email to all partners is when you drew attention to it. You spoke to the partner in question. He considered the matter resolved. You pressed publicly and it drew attention to him that he didn't want. You did it without asking him how it would impact him. While unintentional, you have drawn negative unwanted attention to him.
@JoelEtherton I agree. I don't think the OP did anything "morally" wrong, but that email was probably not a wise choice in that culture. In this "nepotist/toxic" culture, the single Jewish partner may already be walking on eggshells to be accepted by his fellows, and the OP calling attention to his "deviance from the norm" could have been appreciated on one level, but resented for tarnishing his image in the eyes of the judgemental colleagues.
Should I have just minded my own business? - Yes. Do you also think that I have any grounds for a complaint against what was said to me? - No.
@electronpusher: I agree, OP did nothing "morally" wrong. That doesn't mean OP did something right. The email was unnecessary, and while it had good intentions, the results did not match. This is one of the concepts a lot of folks tend to miss is that by "going that extra mile" sometimes we're putting unintentional separation and distinction. It's a lesson to be learned, nothing more really.
17:54
“I also believe it is discriminatory to me.” - It absolutely is not discrimination against you.
 
3 hours later…
21:18
It's not at all obvious how that email would have singled-out the orthodox guy. The OP was merely trying to be proactive and accommodating to anyone else who might have dietary requests. But somehow, as a result of the email, the lawyers were able to figure out that the orthodox guy had lunches ordered for him for FIVE YEARS and that he had not indicated that he never ate these?
Is that what happened? It seems like the OP was thrown under the bus as a disposable pion in this case. It's sad when workplaces can't communicate openly and someone has to be scapegoated for such a ridiculous miscommunication.

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