The Sand Trap

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Ginger

19:06

ok ok yall

something wack happened yesterday

like, really wack

so, you may remember that I own a Wii

Rydwolf Programs

uh oh

Ginger

and that I have modded said Wii to restore functionality to the News/Weather/etc channels, the message board, etc

Rydwolf Programs

wii are resorting to violence

Ginger

wii are going to steal your liver

well, a few days ago I realized that the service I use for said functionality, RiiConnect24, changed their DNS and I forgor 💀 to update the settings

so I fixed up the settings and restarted the console

and yesterday night, I saw that the disk slot light on the Wii was on

Rydwolf Programs

This feels like a horror movie where everything's normal but you know something horrible's about to happen

oh no

Ginger

19:10

for those of you who don't own a Wii (for some reason), that means that there are unread messages on your message board

so I go and boot it up

and there are 7 unread messages on the message board

Rydwolf Programs

This better not be a Molly Collins story

math scat

o.0

Ginger

@RydwolfPrograms wot

math scat

@Ginger you completely ruined the atmosphere

Rydwolf Programs

"I heard a weird noise from the kitchen...tap...tap...tap...and I slowly made my way there, and...the sink was dripping!"

Ginger

19:13

lmfao

okay so anyway

math scat

wtf is this wizardry

Ginger

7 unread messages on the message board

math scat

sinks don’t drip

Rydwolf Programs

@mathscat What kinda sinks do you have in Germany?

With ours you can open the faucet a tiny bit and it'll let through just enough water to drip

Ginger

German sinks have boolean water flow rates

Rydwolf Programs

19:14

Which is good because it prevents pipes from bursting if they freeze

And bad because weird dumb faucet controls are popular

Ginger

@Ginger now I'm not initially surprised by this, because the Check Mii Out Channel likes sending me messages about ~~hot Miis in my area~~ new contests (once I got 37 messages in a single day from it)

but only 2 of the 7 are from the Check Mii Out Channel

the other 5 are the interesting ones

Rydwolf Programs

Hot moms are in your area
Hot moms are in your neighborhood
Hot moms are on your street
Hot moms are in your front yard
Hot moms are outside your window
You cannot run.

math scat

female threaded sinks don’t drip

Rydwolf Programs

Oh no we're talking about the faucet

That's what the underside of our sinks look like too

Ginger

@mathscat I do love me some concurrent sinks

BUT ANYWAY

Rydwolf Programs

19:17

Ginger

of the remaining 5, 4 of them are clearly from RiiConnect24

math scat

Oh, water is liquid in the USA?

Ginger

@mathscat yall drink plasma in germany?

the last message is the weird one

Rydwolf Programs

Yes, blood plasma

Ginger

and I know this sounds like a horror movie, so lemme tell yall this: that last message was, no joke, hot pink

I didn't even know it was possible to edit the message icons, but apparently it is, and this message was hot pink

Rydwolf Programs

19:19

:Ø

Ginger

so I click on it, and you know what it is?

Rydwolf Programs

I almost accidentally sent :° lol

Ginger

a Valentine's Day card from RiiConnect24

Rydwolf Programs

That's like a pogchamp emoticon lol

=:°

math scat

@Ginger nah, we usually make water out of potassium hydroxide

Ginger

19:20

and I have about 500 milliseconds to think "what" AND THEN IT STARTS SPEAKING TO ME

this compressed, 2011-YouTube-video-quality recording goes "Hey gamers, I'm <some name I forgot>, and I wanted to wish you all a happy Valentine's day!"

math scat

AAAAH

Ginger

I don't recall my exact reaction but I believe it was something along the lines of "WHAT THE FUCK"

math scat

Understandable

Ginger

because my Wii just told me to have a happy valentine's day in a voice that sounded like something from the Blair Witch Project

Rydwolf Programs

...and this was yesterday?

Ginger

19:22

yes, which is why I was so caught off guard

Rydwolf Programs

Like, 6-weeks-after-Valentine's-day-yesterday?

Wow

math scat

Lmao

Ginger

I guess the Wii polls messages weirdly, I don't know

because remember it wasn't connected properly for like 4 months

so it turned out that the person in the message was actually one of the head developers of RiiConnect24, and they sent the message in question to every single registered Wii on the service

math scat

@Ginger Or the wii server might just be located 0.2 light years away

Ginger

or that

so yeah not how I was expecting to end my day

but apparently voice recordings are a hidden feature of Wii messages or something

Rydwolf Programs

19:28

I wonder if I can make a chess bot that can beat me

Seggan

hey, that was my idea!

Rydwolf Programs

I'm guessing I can, since I blunder, bots do not

Seggan

19:43

yes, but bots may not always take the optimal course

Rydwolf Programs

Neither do I tho :p

4 hours later…

user

23:20

So I was going through old messages here, and apparently, Cocaine + Nitrous Oxide is "Low Risk and Amplification"

in The Nineteenth Byte, Sep 20, 2021 at 23:39, by caird coinheringaahing

You know how sometimes you're going through the transcripts and you're like, "Heh, I used to be so dumb," and you look at the date and it turns out to be a message you sent a month ago?