Fun little quirk of English I noticed

"why don't you make it what you want to be"

That's a lyric from a song, despite its literal meaning being "make it the thing which you want to be", it's used to mean "make it what you want it to be" and I hear it that way

@forest That exists?

I've literally never seen a trivial crate

The stdlib is pretty big, most of the common crates you see used are for pretty complicated stuff, that or like num_traits they contain traits used by lots of other libraries (where "write it yourself" doesn't exactly work)

TIL Scottish peasants would have a "porridge drawer" in which they would leave porridge to dry out into a sort of granola-bar-analog

It would be tin-lined

@RydwolfPrograms I’ve seen one that just implemented some io stuff on vecs or a wrapper on vecs, still not trivial though

I mean, if it's something like that, it's still reasonable, more for readability/docs

Writing your own helper/extension functions for a type works, but if you can use some that ten other libraries use, it makes it easier for everyone to work together

Whereas with something like NPM leftpad it's just someone being too lazy to write a for loop

It's like Tokio's AsyncRead and AsyncReadExt

By default it only provides the bare minimum functionality for a stream

But it comes with a set of simple helper functions in AsyncReadExt which, while you could totally implement those yourself, having a more standardized way to do it allows people to reason about the code in a more familiar way

Wait why is one of the As in the long LGBTQ+ expansion "ally"

When people talk about LGBTQ+ I don't think they mean non-LGBTQ+ people who just...aren't homophobes/transphobes

lol

(ignore the "Myanmar")

(I accidentally hit the up key and cycled through to the last search result)

> Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie.

found a mirror lessgo

time to suffer in the name of in-jokes

this is already the best decision I have made today

> A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

That is the last person I expected that line to come from lolll

Such a subversion of my expectations, honestly a really deep plot.

> AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

I should've kept reading...all of my questions would have been answered :p

@RydwolfPrograms where can I get this

myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm

Thanks

There’s a fan fic of harry potter written in modern slang

Only a few chapters

Was hilarious but wasn’t actually a fanfic, just the original first book translated

> the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak

No filet mignon for Draco I guess :(

Why the ridiculously long descriptions of the narrator’s appearance?

My guess is that this was written by an 11 year old with a very overactive imagination and a future career in fashion design :p

I love how they just have bottles full of blood

@RydwolfPrograms i thought it was satire

> Dumbledore had constipated the [video] camera

Sounds painful

@user not to my knowledge

Jesus

> In September 2017, Christo stated that My Immortal is a work of satire, though her authorship is disputed.

Ah ok

> I recently read “My Immortal”, just out of morbidity, I've heard the major consensus on the read is “It's the worst fanfiction in fanfiction history.

Good, because I was about to die of cringe

Some of it does feel kinda satirical, but someone who's read tons and tons of bad fanfic and not much else could easily have written this

> mediocre dunces

wow, what a burn

> “STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle

We all know Prof. McGoggle, hater of horny simpletons

Oh no they turned harry potter into an emo vampire

And voldemort is shakes père ian

i think I’m going to stop reading lest i lose more bran cells

I'm on chapter 18 lol

I'm thinking that what this is is someone just doing half-satire. Like, not with the intent to write satire, but so non-seriously that they're poking fun at the genre pretty regularly while also just writing what they wanna write

Basically just a giant shitpost, sort of like my C418-torches-his-exes-car thing

Okay I love how the author just starts adding "sexily" to like every other sentence in the later chapters

Like doesn't matter what's being done or who's doing it. Guys beating up Hagrid? Sexily. Walking to class? Sexily. Snape rolling on the ground in pain? Sexily.

Wait I just realized...I don't think The Black Parade had come out yet when the first chapters of this were written

That explains why no TBP songs were referenced until chapter 42 out of 44

Well I read the whole thing

Worth an hour of my time I guess

'night o/

lmaof

y'all ever try and sign into a site and it autocompletes the username box with SE chat room names you've created?

I frick you not

It's gone ahead and used all rooms I've created

goofy ahh username box

^ is username box from the site I'm trying to log into

^ is chat room name box from the room creation page

amazing

i assume the name="name" is the culprit?

is the standard for usernames name="username" or something like that

gotta find a field on somewhere else that has autofill available first :p

which is turning out to be a challenge

@UnrelatedString it is

now there's a second question that needs answering here

this is all the rooms I've created

why is vyxal there?

given that a) I made it on a completely different computer

and b) I made it in a completely different browser

don't tell me other sites have been abusing the field name

probably some third thing with name="name" yeah

still a good question what and where

only thing i can think of is pythonanywhere

nope

wacky

I honestly don't know

@RydwolfPrograms well, this is amazing

> “You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

> Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him

I had to read that sentence twice before I understood it

> “What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice

I didn't know "demeaned" was a verb, but now I'm going to use it as one :p

is this your first experience with my immortal

enjoy

I've been lucky enough to have never seen it before :b

:ð

this looks like GPT-2 was given the complete text of the Harry Potter books and told "make a fanfiction like you're a 10-year-old on LiveJournal"

Ayo hp fanfic!

This is the best fanfic though: botnik.org/content/harry-potter.html

They're pretty famous

I love the Wikipedia plot summary

> The story begins by focusing on Ebony entering a relationship with Draco Malfoy, who is depicted as shy, sensitive and, inexplicably, bisexual

> The protagonist of the story is Ebony (Occasionally written therein as Enoby, Eboby, Evony, Ebory, Enobby, Enopby, Egogy, Tara, TaEbory, Tata, Ibony, Evonyd, or Ibony)

was this piped through an OCR system or smth

> They are discovered by Hogwarts' headmaster Albus Dumbledore (referred to in places as "Albert Dumblydore" and a variety of other names),

Ah yes, Albert Dumblydore

@Ginger this but botnik ^^^^^

no ai language model could replicate the genius of my immortal

I'll be honest: that AI one is pretty good

will read it later™

iirc botnik is mostly human-operated autocomplete or something like that

it's fucking gold but it's not 100% ai

eh, close enough

okay looks like they've branched out into a wide variety of custom tools including more sophisticated ml

the scope of their work is basically computer-assisted humor in general

it's still funny

it's so funny

> “……………….DUMBLEDORE?1!”

found the source of the 11 joke

> “Oh my god you ludacris idiot!”

this author really likes "ludacris" for some reason

i think it's a plausible/easy typo because it's also the name of a musician or something

@UnrelatedString you can't take my door

and then misusing the word itself on top of that is 👌

@lyxal watch me

written by botnik :p

@lyxal i don't wanna love you anymore

the WP summary might actually be better:

> Voldemort, speaking in faux-archaic English for reasons left unexplained, gives her a gun and demands that she kill [Harry]

@UnrelatedString won't let my heart be my face

barbed whiskey good and whiskey straight

no you can't take my dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor

lmfao

@lyxal this reminds me of the summer (upside down variant) of 2019 where'd I'd listen to this on crazy loop while playing Minecraft Death Run on the Hive bedrock edition

> Professor Sinistra ("Sinister", "Sinatra")

@lyxal good times

they call him Professor Sinatra

can't believe Sinatra liked the web server so much he named himself after it

obligatory ඞඞඞඞඞඞඞ

HELP I ACCIDENTALLY TRIGGERED EDGE'S ACCESSIBILITY SYSTEM AND NOW IT'S READING MY IMMORTAL TO ME

tell us how your sanity is once it's done

> I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide.

yeah I tried that but it just kinda went "squish" and got meat juice everywhere

@lyxal figured out how to turn it off, thankfully

> Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly

TRIUMELEPHANTLY

I CAN'T

> WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

IT JUST GETS BETTER

> “Its so unfair!” I yielded.

me when the protagonist implements Iterable

Can't believe I almost missed that.

> B’Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY.

the author's notes just get worse and worse as time goes on

> gpffik

@Ginger smh imagine not exposing yourself to sunlight in antarctica after crafting a magical sword out of your own flesh, neither willing to live as a monster nor slay the monster that made you, becoming ash drifting on the wind neither alive nor dead

ooh, good idea! I'll add that to my todo list

> was really scared about Vlodemort all day.

ah yes, vlodemort the dark wizard

the author REALLY likes MCR

@mathcat Vlodemort versus Dumblydore, who will win

> He had lung black hair

I think "lung black" is what happens to smokers :p

Completely unrelated,

snape.

._.

> Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.

I am disfusted, I am refolted

> Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise

oh we know

the workings of the author's capslock key are truly a mystery

alright, I found the best line in the whole damn story:

> “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

oh actually this one might be better:

> Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

Dumbledork, Cornelia Fudged, and Doris Rumbridge

who could forget those individuals

Why does Doris Rumbridge make me think of Hagrid.

Ayy also 1k messages.

1k special rant.

Opinion: German grading system is trash

First of all, I'm talking about the high school grading system, not the college grading system (which is actually pretty good).

Even though the Wikipedia article looks very systematic, it's not.

Basically, it's a GPA system with numbers ranging from 1 to 6, modified by a + or -.

You might think, "hey, that's similar to the American grading system".

well, no

First of all, you never know what grade you will get for half the points.

I have seen exams with a 3 for half the points, but also with a 4- for half the points.

It depends on, not the state or even the school, but the teachers, which is kind of crazy.

That also means that the grade for not passing is variable.

Also, in some states there is an additional grade, such as 1-2, which is between 1- and 2+.

This makes the grade conversion even more complicated than it already is.

But in college you get points from 1 to 15, which kinda makes up for it.

god, that wasn't even 20 messages.

(by college I mean upper secondary education)*

Conversion to other systems is an ocean in itself that you don't even want to look at.

@Ginger And Evanescense, who they named the fanfic after :p

@Ginger thats what i told the doctor

@Ginger That one was sooo funny lol. How you get "erective" from "secretive" and what "erective" would mean is really funny to think about

@Ginger why.

why does this even exist.

@Ginger if it’s satire, then it’s just because mcr was an emo band

They also mention listening to linkin park while trying to commit suicide (with a steak)

No one would seriously write that

@Ginger i love how the wikipedia editor found the bisexual part inexplicable and not, like, the entire freaking thing

Malfoy being bi is the easiest to explain out of all that

@Ginger also the story

Well ok the story is consistently bad throughout but their grammar and spelling just get worse and worse

Anyone know a good way to work on two branches in the same repo at the same time?

mmm yes very pings

@UnrelatedString Indeed ;)

> Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!

MCR is actually a bunch of off-brand villains in disguise

@Ginger Oddly enough, this is reminding me of Finnegan's Wake. :P

@RydwolfPrograms And fanfiction where it's unclear whether it's satire or just really bad fanfic reminds me of this (from a podcast where successful writers read some of their terrible early work).

@user The author does seem to be pretty familiar with early-2000s emo music, chances are they were fans of MCR, not just making fun of people who were

@DLosc nice

Okay the Wikipedia page for My Immortal is even funnier than the original

The way it tries to summarize the plot in a scientific and disconnected way is hilarious

ikr

> They are discovered by Hogwarts' headmaster Albus Dumbledore (referred to in places as "Albert Dumblydore" and a variety of other names), who yells at them and derides them as "motherfukers" [sic]. In a subsequent author's note, it is explained this outburst occurred because Dumbledore was suffering from a headache.

you may want to read the transcripts :p

of what

this room, I already talked about the WP article

but it's still so funny

Okay a few opinions I have:

1. Christo did not write My Immortal

2. The fact that Amy Lee actually read it is hilarious and the author was probably very happy

3. I don't think it's satire

The main thing making me think it was satire was the really weird spelling and punctuation inconsistencies, like words being spelled as similar ones that were totally different in meaning, while no other autocorrect seems to have been used

But the fact that Raven apparently acted as an editor would fix that

It seems very plausible to me that some 14 year old girl reading her friend's fanfic would notice a word's spelled wrong, paste it into google, and swap it with whatever the nearest correctly spelled word is, even if it's totally different from the one they wanted

That also explains the mix of smart and non-smart quotes

lol

It makes sense to me that the author would remain on the down-low given that it's generally regarded as one of the worst things ever written

My Immortal is the Star Wars Holiday Special of fanfiction

@RydwolfPrograms Time to ask a question about authorship on Lit.SE

do it

Nah, the first quarter or so of it is genuinely fun to read

After that it gets a bit stale but it's so-bad-it's-good for quite some time

> I'm going out of a limb to assume [Rowling] tolerates, say, shipping Harry and Voldemort but she won't sign a copy of fan art if you give it to her. – Brian R Nov 6, 2018

@RydwolfPrograms As someone who once read a friend's fanfic and sent them a long list of corrections... =P

lmao

@RydwolfPrograms the last line is gold:

> I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

*cries sexily*

it's not what it looks like

Are you aware your pfp's imgur id is saul0

Better call ginger

@RydwolfPrograms I noticed it too when downloading the image lol

@RydwolfPrograms very sexy

@RydwolfPrograms I am aware :p

Don't bodge and drive. But if you do, call me.

@RydwolfPrograms this is less sexy and more "what the hell is happening to me"

so I'm reading more of My Immortal

> Snap stated loafing meanly

> He took out a kamera anvilly

> He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard.

what... what do you think "pentagram" means

> “You ridiculus dondderhed!111” Snoop yielded

this ... is a masterpiece

def Snoop():
    yield "You ridiculus dondderhed!111"

> “Crosio!” I shited pointing my wound.

🤣

> a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress

we pledge to be smut-neutral by 2024

didn't know that was a thing back in 2008

2006

to early 2007

¯\_(ಠ_ಠ)_/¯

it's hard for me to decide on a best line, because there is so much gold in this story

> Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

if only it were always that easy

> I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued.

*laughs statistically*

> “I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz.”

ah yes, the Bolevrad of Broken Dremz

> [...] begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.

aren't "Serious" and "Snap" the same person?

Sirius Black

oh lol

and then suddenly Znegl ZpSyl Zbegl Zpsyv znxrf n fhecevfr nccrnenapr??? (rot13) wtf is happening to the plot

Hey hey no spoilers without rot13

You're pretty far into the plot

lol

we've reached the point where everything starts happening sexily

@Ginger siriously!

I'm serious tho

rot13 it or else *sexily slides hand across throat in threatening gesture*

*sexily complies*

> We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn’t there. Instead there was…………………………………………Cornelio Fuck!11111

The final boss himself

> Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.

wow, you weren't kidding

like how does that work??? were they moaning while beating him up???

I love how this author can repeatedly deny making the MC a Mary Sue and then unironically write shit like:

We don't need a whole play-by-play of the fanfic :p

sorry lol

I'm trying to only post the funny bits, but it's all funny

the author has the amazing talent of choosing the worst possible misspelling of any given word

@Ginger what.

@mathcat *kazoo boss music starts playing*

tbh that's better than rumbridge

oh my god chapter 39

that's glorious

Ayy we have an anonymous user.

welcome to hell.

you may not leave.

...unless you can defeat Cornelio Fuck in a boss battle :p

@Ginger after 38 chapters of war crimes against the English language the sudden return to correct grammar gave me whiplash

@mathcat Huh, this is... sort of an appropriate thing to say? TNB's tagline was always "Abandon all work, ye who enter here"

Harry potter bosses: Dork Rumbridge, Vlodemort and Cornelio Fuck

@DLosc lmao

lol

> I got up suicidally.

> “No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax.”

I love Hoes of wax

...and then rirelbar shpxf naq gung'f gur raq? vg'f yvxr na vairefr Ebpxf Snyy, Rirelbar Qvrf (rot13)

When you post something in rot13, I start reading it thinking "wow, the misspellings have really gotten bad now" before realizing :P

lol