Okay, some unordered first thoughts:
I've got no inherent problem with pacifism in D&D. You should go into it fully realizing that you're playing *against* the system in a lot of ways, and I think it'd be a bit of a jerk-move to show up to a table with strangers and say "oh, by the way, I don't fight." (And I realize that's not exactly this paladin oath; just my thoughts on pacifism in general.) I think it's a fine player choice, preferably arising organically out of traumatic experience and with the full buy-in of the group, and the understanding that part of the game is now going to put t…