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18:00
@ThatBrazilianGuy they will see time gaps in your resume or whatever
My mom earns... A decent amount, but a lot of it goes to the lawyers, so we have some financial issues
@jokerdino I think jokerdino as a mod have the same powers as me.
that is, I can delete messages not older than two minutes
My mom has been trying to reach a settlement with my dad, but he's refusing to give us anything
@rahuldottech (you might want to consider it if you're going to say something private)
My mom is always stressed. This usually means that it all comes out at home. In the form of yelling, or physical violence
18:02
mum beats you or things?
She gets triggered easily, and then stuff really gets bad
When it's not me, she's fighting with my sister
Her brother won't help her
She won't go to therapy
your mum's brother?
My grandfather is dying of Alzheimer's
@jokerdino my uncle. He lives nearby. Refuses to help in any manner
My grandmother has depression
This makes my mom angry
But my mom doesn't believe in therapists, so my grandmother doesn't go to a therapist either
My sister... Is small. And... Idk. The whole situation with my dad has sorta messed her up
So basically
People at my house
Never stop fighting or yelling
This is a really severe effect on me
18:05
So. You need to get away from it all. You very obviously already know that. I can barely imagine the pressure you're facing now, and the pressure of getting into a good university is probably a huge ingredient of this. But if things are as tense and bad your top, short term priority should be getting out, no matter how.
To the point that I've tried to run away
@ThatBrazilianGuy can't
Have tried
Move out. Get a shitty job that pays enough for you to move out, or get into a shitty uni that offers free or cheap housing.
There is no way for me to
1) Move out. 2) Settle your life later.
@ThatBrazilianGuy no shitty university offers housing. Consider the level of overpopulation here
Any refuge shelters that would take you?
Moving out before one more year is impossible
@bertieb the sort you are thinking about do not exist
I don't think any sort exist
Bleh :-/
My mom doesn't even let me stay up late to study
18:09
(Here, social services would be an option, but I'm guessing that would be high on the lists of things already suggested and not available/possible)
you can certainly find a place to stay but it requires regular income
I can't miss school because they won't let me sit for the board examination unless I have 75% attendance or some bullshit
@jokerdino which I absolutely do not have
Could you discuss the impact of all this with your teachers for more time for assignments, exams etc?
the exams are kinda scheduled on a national level.
Like A levels
don't think they can alter the schedule for an individual
the school level exams perhaps can be cushioned a bit. But you do need some exam practice to keep you on the right track preparation wise
Aye, (again here at least) you can say "due to XYZ I need extra support ± more time during the exam to complete it"
18:11
@rahuldottech How much does an entry level job pays? Does India have minimum wages? How much is it? How much for a shitty housing shared with other people? Do these exist in your region? I'm inclined to think they do, given the overpopulation you mentioned.
I've seen environments where 10 young students shared a house and it was reasonably calm.
entry level jobs? that wont even be enough to feed you well for 3 meals
@rahuldottech Time constraints being what they are probably a tricky one, but have you considered MTurk/rentacoder-type stuff?
@bertieb Nothing is going to be possible with regards to exams. Most teachers cut me some slack for assignments anyway, knowing that stuff isn't ideal at home. They do not know the extent of it, however
if he has any well meaning relatives, he should move in with them
@jokerdino Looks like he doesn't.
18:12
@rahuldottech If you've asked fair enough; if not - nothing to lose by asking?
is dad also a violent type?
otherwise, dad or any of his relatives can't be worse
Question mark because maybe there is something to lose that I haven't considered
@rahuldottech is one of the lawsuits concerning your guard? Do your dad want you to move with him? Would it be, even if bad, less bad than your current situation?
@jokerdino My mom is/was a wonderful person. The reason I'm in this situation is because of my father
or attempt to convince your mum she needs to get help
18:14
They reason we don't live with him is that he once cut himself, and called the police, and blamed it on my mom. The police saw through it, and put him in prison for a week. He became very violent after that
try talking to school principal or any of your class teachers
ask them to talk to mum
@rahuldottech Damn, then moving with him would feel like a slap on your mom's face. =/
@rahuldottech Or if not MTurk/rentacoder/etc, perhaps even translation services? Your English is impeccable
@bertieb I don't have the time. I need to study
I have been trying to convince my mom to go to a therapist for years. She won't.
@bertieb In my half-hour experience getting to know it, mturk pays peanuts.
@rahuldottech Get out of this "I need to study" mentality. You need to move out, period.
18:16
@rahuldottech Mmm I know the feeling. Catch-22 experiences suck :-/
@rahuldottech What are the penalties in your career / academic life if you miss this exam for, say, one or two years?
delayed progress in career
@ThatBrazilianGuy I have no experience of it directly so I'll defer- but if not that specific thing, then perhaps thing of that type
@ThatBrazilianGuy I can't explain this to you. If I don't do well in the 12th board exams, which are in Feb of next year, I will have to either give a compartment exam, or repeat 11th and 12th grade
If I give a compartment, any good uni is out of the question
mate, life doesn't end with 12th exams
you can still do well. dont believe the bs
I'm a pretty good example
18:17
@rahuldottech Maybe repeating two grades is less worse than your current situation. Maybe much less worse.
@ThatBrazilianGuy No school will let me
@jokerdino elaborate, please
just make sure to clear the exams. dont worry about getting really high grades or whatever
get into some kind of college/uni, get a degree and find a job.
^^ it's a possibility worth considering, if the alternatives are breakdown or collapse
There's one other thing. My dad, who hasn't spent any money on me in like three years even though he is very rich, is going to disown me as soon as I'm 18
once you get a job, you will start stabilizing. Build a platform and you can then get better from there
18:19
@rahuldottech let me give you an example. I was a stellar student right until the last year before university.
Top 3 results in almost every class (except phys ed, because let's face it I was a nerd)
Then I passed into a good university (one of the best in town and a top one in the country)
don't let the situation at home get to you
Then my results dropped hard, for a mix of reasons. Basically boiling down to (1) bad stuff at home - not as near as bad as yours, and (2) I was so good at high school passing so effortlessly that I didn't learn how to properly study and it bit me back real hard
@jokerdino I will do that if nothing else works out, but that will go completely against my original plan, which was BTech - Integrated MTech+PhD - Becoming a professor
I also need to get my sister out of this house as soon as I can, so I need to be financially stable
@ThatBrazilianGuy sounds like me but I started lazing in pre-uni
@rahuldottech you can still do all that. there is no age limit for any of that
I beat uni simply because my college teacher told me I never would
18:22
So at age 22 or 23 I dropped out of university. By then I had due classes from six different periods.
@jokerdino Yeah, but look at previous message. I need to take care of my sister.
you have to take care of yourself first.
I'm 35 and I haven't come back yet and finished university. So I'm a failure, right? Well, I have a pretty stable government job that pays me well enough to allow me to pay for all my needs, my wife's needs, travel twice a year, etc. I have a great marriage, a great life overall.
you really dont want to let both of you down
Sigh. Valid point
18:24
it's better to climb up and pull another one up than both be sitting inside the well and wondering how to climb together at the same time using the ladder which is not there
There was a pretty significant chance that my mom would go to Bhutan next month for a couple of years
Leaving me in India
Which would have been amazing
But today we found out that my dad managed to prevent that
So... yeah
@ThatBrazilianGuy hey, that's also me o.O
I have a stable govt PSU job right now
doesn't pay well yet but I am still in probation
Not only stable but it pays about twice what I would make outside of it.
And I've re-enrolled at uni, well, sort of, it's online classes that give you a real diploma. From a real, top-tier university.
@rahuldottech ...
Also, keep in mind we are goddamn IT, it's a field where your achievements matter more than a diploma. Specially for programmers, and IIRC you want to be a programmer.
18:27
should have taken a look at those horoscopes.
There's this one last thing that might work... If I work hard, there's this one tech uni in my city which offers a scholarship to the winners of its annual tech competition. I might try for that.
don't worry if it doesn't work out first.
there are multiple paths to success.
One minute to go till I'm 17...
2
@rahuldottech You really can't put on yourself the pressure of taking care of your sister. That's the role of adults. You're an amazing kid but still a kid nonetheless. To be able to take care of her you need to take care of yourself first.
@jokerdino That's... decidedly reassuring
@ThatBrazilianGuy Understood
Okay, so...
18:30
Happy birthday @rahuldottech. Sleep well.
1. Get out ASAP
2. Don't worry about exams/uni too much right now
3. Take care of myself before sis
4. Don't give up
@jokerdino Thank you
Anything to add ^?
Честит рожден ден @rahuldottech! Here's to a better year ahead 👍
@rahuldottech Yes, that's pretty much it.
Write in on a paper, repeat it in front of the mirror, tatoo it on your arm...
@rahuldottech Believe in yourself. Because I do.
And if you ever feel the need to talk to someone besides your counselor, there's us.
18:32
Thank you all
@rahuldottech My dad, rest him, had a phrase he told me during some bad times
What's for you won't go by you
2
You can do it!
Ave
Ave
@rahuldottech whatsapp
@Ave okey
t it's ur birthday too?
that's 9 people
.
18:33
(ie there are multiple ways to get to success, you'll get there one way or the another)
and find a way to let out the anger
i used to go into mosh pits
@djsmiley2k Apparently people have a lot of sex in August for... reasons?
@ThatBrazilianGuy :D
i mean today tho, 9 people!
the birthday problem never prepared me for this!
@djsmiley2k I think there are more than 9 people who have a birthday today
18:35
@bertieb well said
Otherwise other days are going to be oversubscribed by millions :P
yeah but i don't know em :P
I wonder how many people have their birthday on Feb 29th
@djsmiley2k may 2 his birthday
18:35
tho the girls heavily outweighs the boys
@jokerdino Thanks :) I try yo bear it in mind when things aren't going 100%!
@djsmiley2k Flagged, you say
:P
@bertieb :)
(I shouldn't joke about flags in the current climate or Making Chat a Happier Place⅒ :P)
Wait what
@rahuldottech you can find me on telegram if you need to
@jokerdino Yes, I know :)
18:37
Silly ⅒, you're not ™!
(2152 vs 2122 for those unicodepointeans out there)
@bertieb Your jokes about jokes are making me feel unwelcome! I'll have this room frozen!
!! s/frozen/frozen yogurt for everyone/
@ThatBrazilianGuy @bertieb Your jokes about jokes are making me feel unwelcome! I'll have this room frozen yogurt for everyone! (source)
@ThatBrazilianGuy That's a Disney copyright sir. You need to pay the royalties now!
@ThatBrazilianGuy I have a Simpsons reference in mind, except instead of Jasper saying "Disrespecting the paddle, that's a paddlin'", it's "Jokes about flags about jokes; that's a flaggin'"
18:39
i'mma flagalaggin
going to bed, coz work tmrw
@jokerdino Instead of paying the royalty, can I behead the royalty?
Goodnight folks
> You have selected regicide
> If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one...
19:32
@DavidPostill lol. Thanks
 
2 hours later…
21:55
@rahuldottech HAPPY BIRTHDAY
2
22:05
Did someone mention girls?
Woohoo Samsung's finally released a sensibly priced (well, not Pro-series) 2TB M.2 SSD
Irony is in the two it took to update the 960 Pro, it's shrunk to half the capacity while the Evo has doubled
Do you ever look at guides for mobile phone app fixes that include screenshots and wonder what the heck their battery is doing?
Lol look at the times too
Yea, ha.
Looks like they charged it, used up 60%, charged it again, used up another 40% in an hour
Logically they just strung together a series of previously produced screenshots, but that seems like just as much work as taking a new one each time.
And then they got distracted for 4 1/2 hours between Opening Contacts and clicking on Groups.
 
1 hour later…
23:43
When it comes to chat moderation... I volunteer.
But I have concerns...
The wording of this notice gives the impression that there isn't going to be a warning. If it gets sour, the room gets wiped. And by "shut the room down permanently", it almost sounds like you're going to hard-delete the room and all of its messages at the database level. I agree we need stricter moderation and better mod tools, but there ought to be a warning before a room is to be shut down. — bwDraco 2 mins ago
Do we actually have persistant chat moderation problems?
I mean, sure, we have a handful of regrettable incidents but our current system - that the community moderates itself with mods and ROs as a backstop's been reasonably successful
23:59
I can step forward if we need an extra RO.
But I agree we need better chat moderation tools.
I've had to intervene in more than one chat flag war where people flag each other for petty reasons.

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