Root Access

Burgi

23:00

are you stoned again?

qwertyuiop

@Burgi there will be no coitus involved

Journeyman Geek

do you have noodles in your brain?

qwertyuiop

@Burgi yes but that is somewhat irrelevant as the idea and implementation were both started while I was still sober

Journeyman Geek

@qwertyuiop my old shelves were 2 dollar brackets + spare vinyl fllooring

Burgi

i'm still going with gallows

DavidPostill

23:04

That was the same picture ...

qwertyuiop

Wtf imgur

DavidPostill

Lol. Still the same picture

qwertyuiop

Are you close to guessing what it's for yet?

Ben N

Is that a cassette player on top there?

Burgi

multi-gym or gallows

Ben N

23:05

Oh, maybe this whole deal is a lamp holder?

qwertyuiop

Unfortunately if you need this last clue you've already lost

Burgi

you are asking us to guess about the ravings of a lunatic

qwertyuiop

It's an extremely ghetto in-bed monitor stand!

Burgi

ah, porn in bed

move along

DavidPostill

Sun tan in bed

Ben N

23:07

Solar panel in bed

Burgi

you could just blue-tac your tablet to the ceiling

its less lethal

Journeyman Geek

death by falling monitor in bed!

Burgi

i can already see the headlines

Journeyman Geek

I suppose its a good thing its not a CRT

qwertyuiop

@Burgi I would, but I don't have a tablet.

It's also impossible to get a tablet with this level of image quality and size

Burgi

23:11

i used to live with an alcoholic

qwertyuiop

But the real problem is, this stinking monitor doesn't have a VESA mount. You have to pay £1000 to get the professional version of it with the exact same panel to get four holes in the back of the case. :-/

Burgi

the crazy shit he used to do doesn't even come close to that level of madness

Journeyman Geek

@qwertyuiop that's kinda sad

and heh

qwertyuiop

I have two HP monitors with hot swap and VESA but they only have 800:1 contrast not 5000:1 at 240hz

DavidPostill

qwertyuiop

23:13

But really it's a very temporary very ghetto monitor mount because come tomorrow I'll be able to break out the drill and drill some VESA mounting holes into the back of this thing myself

Burgi

what could possibly go wrong in the meantime...

Journeyman Geek

@qwertyuiop that sounds like a terrible idea....

qwertyuiop

Well I could always sleep facing the other end of the bed so worst case scenario is a fractured ankle rather than a fractured skull.

Journeyman Geek

you'd want some kinda backplate

Burgi

and suspending it with clamps isn't?

qwertyuiop

23:15

Honestly though as long as the wood stays long, straight, and hard, nothing is going to go wrong.

Burgi

can i come to your funeral?

qwertyuiop

Oh and just coincidentally there's a perfect hidden space for stereo speakers and a subwoofer just behind the wood.

@Burgi why would you want to

@JourneymanGeek I'm hoping to disassemble it and find some metallic frame to clamp in to

DavidPostill

What if the clamps slip? It has been known to happen.

Burgi

so i can tell everyone that i was there when you dreamt up the hairbrain scheme

qwertyuiop

I mean the £1000 professional version has the exact same case at the front and the exact same panel. The only difference is the back panel where mine has a stupid flashing led logo instead of four screw holes.

My suspicion is the midframe will be the same. And it's not a very heavy monitor anyway

DavidPostill

23:19

How heavy is it? In kg?

Burgi

its still going to be traveling at 40mph when it smashes into your face

DavidPostill

You can only watch it if you are lying face up directly underneath.

Ben N

Well, if it's just one meter up, it'll only hit with a speed of 4.4 m/s

qwertyuiop

Cmon guys why do you have so little faith in me

Burgi

thats still 20kg travelling nearly 10mph

Journeyman Geek

23:22

@qwertyuiop IN THIS ROOM, WE OBEY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!

Burgi

(mostly)

qwertyuiop

It's 6 kg

DavidPostill

A 6kg weight dropped from that height will break your nose and smash most of your front teeth.

qwertyuiop

And it's 0.4m from my face.

Your numbers are way way off

Journeyman Geek

@Burgi terrier, that's french for 'if god had meant dogs to fly, he's have given them wings' isn't it?

Ben N

23:24

That's 23.5 J of kinetic energy, and if the collision lasts 0.05 seconds, the average force on you will be 470 N

Burgi

heh

qwertyuiop

It's really no heavier than a fat cat jumping on your face from a shelf

Burgi

bullshit

Ben N

It probably wouldn't be all that bad

qwertyuiop

Our cat weighs 8kg

Ben N

23:24

Physics!

qwertyuiop

470N huh.

The biggest factor is the fact the contact area is both soft, weak, small, and protruding. i.e. the tip of my nose

DavidPostill

@qwertyuiop Cats are flexible. Monitors aren't. The force is transferred instantly instead of gradually

Ben N

Right, the collision might last a lot shorter than 0.05 s

Burgi

@qwertyuiop you said this 2 hours ago:

2 hours ago, by qwertyuiop

I'm an expert on fail

qwertyuiop

Oh ffs it's not going to fall

How often do you see a monitor stand just randomly snap and fall out of the blue?

DavidPostill

23:27

@qwertyuiop You know you can die if your nose is pushed at the correct angle? The broken nose goes into your brain ...

Journeyman Geek

@qwertyuiop its designed to have its weight downwards not sideways

qwertyuiop

@BenN actually it'll be longer. The nose will deform significantly while not decelerating the monitor much until it contacts the rest of the face.

Journeyman Geek

you are familiar with tension and compression right?

DavidPostill

@qwertyuiop The clamps are more likely to slip. I already told you.

Journeyman Geek

monitor stands are designed for compression

you'd be putting it in tension

Burgi

23:28

look, i really don't like you but i don't want you to kill yourself either by incompetence or otherwise

6

Ben N

@qwertyuiop Still, your nose is not going to interact well with >300 N

qwertyuiop

It's 1.5mm steel box-beam ffs, you could run it over with a car and it wouldn't bend

DavidPostill

Especially if they have plastic protectors on the faces and they are overtightened and the faces being clamped aren't exactly parallel ... I've had clamps slip on my workbench before ...

qwertyuiop

And dropping a monitor on someone's face isnt going to do anything close to killing them.

Burgi

i beg to differ but i am not likely to find a volunteer to prove the theory

Journeyman Geek

23:31

@qwertyuiop if you do drop a monitor on your face, could you ask your roomie to let us know?

qwertyuiop

Have you ever fell on your face? I mean your head is about 4-5kg in weight. The amount of force is not much different from falling on your face from 30cm.

Ben N

A skull can definitely deal with 500 N, so you'll probably only be injured

qwertyuiop

Can someone do the physics calculation for how long it would take for the monitor to fall 40cm?

Burgi

if you end up brain damaged can i have your motorbike?

qwertyuiop

@BenN the skull itself would have to deal with far less anyhow since the facial padding would... Well.. Pad it. Broken teeth is probably the worst case scenario

Ben N

23:32

0.28 seconds to fall .4 m

qwertyuiop

@BenN ah shit

I have a conscious decision response time of around 350ms and no-decision reflexive response time of about 250ms

Basically, too slow to be able to reliably put my hands in the way.

Fuck it I'll just wear my cycle helmet. Problem solved.

Bob

Wait. Why are we talking about broken teeth, monitors and motorbikes?

Burgi

SOLUTION! wear your helmet to bed!

DavidPostill

@Bob Scroll up to the photo.

qwertyuiop

Seriously guys. With all the geekiness and intelligence in here it's taken us half an hour to think of "put on a helmet" as a solution to protecting ones head from impact.

Bob

23:35

o.O

Doesn't look that bad

qwertyuiop

Wtf

Ben N

@Bob This room is now Physics Access, in which we do the physics of @qwertyuiop getting killed

Bob

I'd chuck a couple struts up, one on each side, for more support.

qwertyuiop

I can't do much more physical work cause the drugs are kicking in fast now

Bob

Burgi

23:37

you know if i want to watch tv in bed i prop the pillows up at the end opposite the screens and just watch it that way

Bob

MSPaint is now a virtual machine

@Burgi That hurts the neck and/or back.

DavidPostill

@qwertyuiop You clearly missed my safety notice. Oh wait, you're ignoring me. And presumably not sneakily also watching chat from an anonymous login ...

Burgi

you must have bad pillows then

@Bob, @BenN had a similar issue when SU chat was telling him about the cool features in VS

Bob