<3

nice name

Random country name generator for the win :p

but i wrote some history to justify it because i liked it

I am just thinking that I have added some weird things about the town. Namely: tabaxi live with wood elves, with the wood elves pretty much in charge. And the towns are in the trees to keep safe from ground beasts... and it is in a place with a lot of tricksy fey types

oh and the slight lean to a loose theocratic society.

hence all those random personality quirks

@Sciborg How about Kageki?

I am diverting away from Tabaxi being all jaguars anyway ^^;

You mean for the region Ink comes from? i dig that, sure!

It is kind of "Shadow" and "Tree" mixed together

it's a pretty name, i like it

i shall write it into the World :P

imagines Sciborg with a massive book and a quill, the pages glowing up into their face as the ink skritches new wonders into "reality"

waves hands around muttering incantations ah yes and the Pirate Lesbians shall go over on this page

I like that they are Pirate Lesbians and not Lesbian Pirates.

very important distinction

Well yes, I mean you have to get your values sorted out.

I forgot the name of the nature god -.-; <googles again>

why do crimes when you can be gay and then do crimes

My thought was more along the "one of these is who I am, the other is my job"

Which makes reversing them a sudden source of amusement.

equally valid

And I say that without meaning offence, being on this side of that line anyway ^^;

(Is Eldath an option? She's kind of weird, pacifistic, likes orderly clerical ranks? Sort of makes a certain amount of sense?)

no offense taken! i make fun of my gay all the time :P

Eldath makes some sense, but might be too rigid for tabaxi - they are a curious bunch who don't like order

She is NG, but the elves may have been that, with the Tabaxi being... second class mischief makers...

I mean, Ink isn't really into following religion himself, just knows he is meant to respect it ;p

True, true

it's like being an agnostic who still really loves religion and respects religious people

"i don't believe in your god, but i'm cool with him" :p

but isn't disciplined enough to feel like following "rules" can get them to the same understanding.

I forgot about Selûne - one sec!

oooh, Selune is really interesting lore-wise

wow - I forgot how cool she was ^^;

she is really cool :D

@Sciborg Pfft

@Sciborg I had forgotten that one of my longest D&D characters was descended from the cat lords ^^:

The Almighty Cat Lords

Wait... what's the difference between Pirate Lesbians and Lesbian Pirate (confused)

It's a very subtle and important difference

explain?

@PrinceNorthLæraðr It depends, I was interpreting that as "pirates who happen to be lesbians" versus "lesbians who happen to be pirates" :)

which is which, I leave it for you to determine.

important difference

anywhom - Selûne it is. CG, and can be taken more or less seriously, also naturey, healy, and protecty rather than aggresivey

to be fair, i do know some people who debate about whether "autistic people" or "people with autism" is a more correct term, since the former implies that they are defined by the autism and the latter implies they are just a person who happens to have autism. so terminology can matter

@Sciborg I agree... but it really depends on what you are trying to group (and why you are even grouping them in the first place)

No one should really be grouping a single person, that way prejudice lies

@Graylocke Ah...?

yeah. honestly i do not care about labels at all, i just find it interesting how terminology can be more important to some people and not important to others

this is why I prefer to not be labelled so that people can determine whether they like me rather than my labels ;p

yeah. when i need to put a label on my queerness, i put "transmasculine", but even that does not fully encapsulate. so sometimes "genderqueer" fits better as just a generic "non-cis" term. but usually i do not care for labels at all and i'm just like hey, whatever, call me anything

labels get so complicated and sometimes i just don't care

Yeah - I was talking about this with my housemates when looking through the politics of the "Quilt bag" and the colours on the various flags

I prefer my work's new terminology "diverse genders and sexualities" because you don't need to tie anything down to force it into a box.

When you identify as a cis straight male >.<

i like those kinds of umbrella terms, some people fit nicely into boxes and some people don't. it's good to have a general label to use when you feel like nothing else fits

If someone really needs to know my specifics we can talk about it, you don't need to google "people like Gray".

@PrinceNorthLæraðr There is nothing wrong with this at all. And it entirely fits into "diverse"

Teehee true

Which is exactly my point.

I dislike the arms race that labels become ^^;

i like the new movement to just use "gender-diverse." when forms ask me to identify as transgender i get uncomfortable because i don't really fit well with that term, i don't suffer gender dysphoria or permanently identify as male, it's more fluid and complex for me. it's nice to just have a generic "non-cis" or "gender-diverse" label to put on

As someone who tends to suffer from imposter syndrome a lot, I hate being asked to pin myself down to someone else's term ;p

that is valid too :p

labels shouldn't be an arms race

we need to make sure we don't exclude people, including cis people

everyone is valid and that's important

sighs anywhom

i didn't mean to soapbox sorry

nono - I was doing it too ;p

this stuff is important to me. no more ranting i promise :p

it's too easy to do ^^;

I like listening to this :D

It's important to me too, but it is hard to stop.

the point is North, you're valid too and cis people are wonderful and we love you.

It's not my most common soapbox though - that one is about "coming out". lol

everyone is wonderful. /soapbox

+1

i met an older guy in the Sphinx Lair once who mentioned he was gay and we got to talking about how we came out, it was pretty entertaining if slightly depressing

his coming out was very sad

mine is just kinda goofy in comparison :p

My original one is just plain confusing and silly.

But the soapbox is usually about how one doesn't just "come out" once. It's all the bloody time.

With every new person or group or job or whatever ;p

oh man, i feel that so hard

anytime i meet a new friend or friend group it's kinda like coming out all over again

straight people don't have to have a conversation about their love life every time they meet someone new

Yeah....

Straight people just assume everyone else is straight

i mean, it's completely possible to just not talk about it, but like.... if i ever want to talk about my Partner it's kinda hard to not mention his gender

cis people don't need to explain their gender every time either lawl

Ya

Of course. But it does open a whoooooole topic that other people want to talk about ;p

For better or worse.

i'm lucky that i can pass pretty well as male nowadays, so people just default to assuming i'm a somewhat effeminate guy and that's chill with me :p

I can't believe what this chatroom has become :P

therapy is important okay :P

Oh, it's very important

I'm gonna headout. See you guys tomorrow!

sorry if we weirded you out or anything

we can stop the gender stuff :p

Night :) Thank you for being patient :)

No, it's not weird

I like listening to other people's experiences, especially if they're new

It helps me understand people better

If I start talking about DnD stuff before our session, please yell at me to study :D

We need more trees like you :)

will do :P

bai bai

sleeps well dreams nice :)

good night <3

Are you going to naps too, GM extraordinaire?

nah, i'm not really tired at the moment. brain is refusing to turn off :p

I know how that works.

basically the sleep thing that's been worrying me is that i've not had many problems with nightmares or bad dreams for years, but over the last two weeks, i've suddenly had multiple very intense night terrors. like full waking-up-panicking and still being partially in the panic state for a few minutes and can't go back to sleep. and i have no idea what's causing it and it's making me a little scared to sleep now.

and they are REALLY bad nightmares, like really bad. which i don't usually have ever.

Yikes

I can understand that.

Are there any themes in common? Or has it just been random things that are accompanied by a feeling of terror?

If you even want to talk about it.

I mean you can also message me on Discord if you'd prefer it to be less public :)

the first one i had was particularly bad because i woke up from it at 4AM, in a complete panic, because the nightmare was that people were breaking into my apartment and bashing down the windows, and i could swear i was still hearing them breaking down my front door. so i jumped out of bed and ran to my apartment door and saw it was fine, and then my brain kinda snapped out of it and i realized it was just a dream. but i was just sweating and shaking and i couldn't go back to sleep.

i mean, full-on panic attack, it was terrifying. i've NEVER had that with nightmares before.

and i don't know what to do or what's causing it, i'm not on any new medications.

:( That isn't good, 'borg.

i know, it's freaking me out a bit.

It can happen from a lot of pressure and anxiety.

But that doesn't make it fun or make it easier to sleep.

I hate that being rational about things doesn't solve mental health issues >.<

And really this kind of sleep issue is one of those...

it's mostly just worrying me because i never have night terrors, i've had nightmares but none that make me jump out of bed and think that i'm still in the dream and have a panic meltdown. i almost worry it was like a hallucination or some kind of weird sleepwalking

i haven't switched any medications or i would think it was a medication issue

If you are already sleeping poorly and some other thing in your life, or a large enough event in the media comes along, it is totally abe to creep into your brain and rattle it around while you can't divert it.

Trying to look for ways to rationalise and categorise and deal with things it needs to file while you are meant to be inactive.

it has been a very stressful week and i always worry about my apartment being broken into, so i'm sure that's part of it. i'm a bad sleeper in general so that probably doesn't help :p

I have had similar situations... one I thought that someone had kidnapped all the people in the house and I was left alone... and I couldn't leave my room because they were waiting for me outside the door. I woke up with my back to the door and holding the handle so they couldn't turn it.

As if that would have even done anything ^^;

so this is kinda normal then? just sleep terrors and i should try and maybe take some sleep meds? i'm not nuts? ;-;

But yanno, lately things have been stressful in the world outside your personal life as well.

That won't be helping...

the sleep med i take sometimes gives me weird surreal dreams, but it's never given me nightmares - i can try taking that maybe and see if it helps calm my brain down.

It is reasonably normal, but if it continues for a long time it is worth seeing someone.

I'm not overly fond of things more powerful than Melatnonin but that's because I react strongly to medications ^^:

the other two night terrors were being in a car crash, another phobia of mine, and some old high school trauma i thought i had forgotten about. so it's just kinda brain delving up scary situations i guess. if it's normal to have sleep terrors under stress then i'm less worried about me going crazy o-o;

oh it's pretty normal when you are undergoing multiple vectors of stress

if you are inclined to any form of mental health issue in general, especially

e.g. depression, anxiety, etc.

it has been an extremely stressful week and i have an anxiety disorder already, so i guess that tracks, yeah

this is just a very new way for my brain to express it :p

speaking from my experience and the houseful of diverse genders, sexualities and mental disorders that I live in ;p

:P

thank you for easing my nerves, that helped me feel less insane

But if it is happening over an extended time period, do you have a counsellor/psych/someone for your anxiety?

I don't think you are insane :)

i have a therapist i see once a month for panic attacks, i can bring it up with her the next time i see her - hopefully it does not last much longer than a week.

No more than I anyway ;p as un-reassuring as that is.

my brain is very un-normal in many ways so brain being weird is not unusual for me, i guess :p

Yeah - I think that is sensible :) I have had some reaaaally wacky "nightmares" that were terrifying while I was having them and then after I wake up and calm down make zero sense.

So I am far more likely to be insane from that perspective. At least your nightmare was of something that is actually scary from a logical point of view :)

i think the reason these sleep terrors scared me so much is that they were completely logical and plausible, none of them were surreal at all - the breaking-in night terror was full on burglars crowbarring open my front door and smashing the windows and it all felt extremely real and like i was there. it was scary as heck

usually my nightmares are much more weird and dumb and i realize they are dumb when i wake up

but thinking back on them makes them less scary

Yeah - but if you reflect on the order of events... Were you reacting on the memory of the dream events after waking as if they were real events that had happened..?

that part of it didn't last terribly long but i was very convinced it was real for about five seconds, i rolled out of bed and ran to check on the front door and then there was kind of a moment when brain snapped fully awake and was like "oh, no, crap, that was just a dream, all good"

and then i just kinda sat on the couch and tried to calm down

That's even more usual, 'borg :)

tailhugs

Not any more pleasant

it was scary at the time but relating it now makes it sound a bit goofier :p

like what was i thinking

I don't think anyone would say you were crazy for acting the way you did... I'm sure that a lot of people have had similar experiences :)

my apartment has double security doors and my front door is thicker than concrete and i have seven extremely nosy neighbors, why the hell would i ever think somebody could get in without my neighbors noticing

brain was having a Moment

I used to sleepwalk a lot. Talking to my parents they have told me stories of how they would freak out because they had been watching TV after I'd been put to bed and then I'd be silently standing beside them all of a sudden like a weird horror movie.

I don't really remember most of this, tbh. Apparently I don't do it now? ^^:

oh my god that would FREAK me out xD

like i look behind me and you're just silently standing there

yeah well I can totally agree with that

I don't ever remember doing it on purpose.

I do remember waking up hiding in a doorway in the hall once.

<shrugs> I think I have always had weird sleep patterns... ^^;

that would terrify me :p

this has been a good therapy session lmao, i feel better now

Yeah... Oh! I remember waking up on the floor in a caravan once after having dropped down from the top bunk onto my feet!

A cat even in my sleep.

:)

that's kinda adorable actually :P

you just wake up on your feet

truly, you are a cat in a trench coat

very odd but yanno - brains are weird af

:3

one of my college roommates would occasionally sleepwalk to the fridge in the middle of the night, and i would be pulling an all-nighter studying and just look up and see her standing in front of the fridge staring at it like a pajama ghost. it was both terrifying and hilarious

apparently people make less noise when they are asleep ;p

literally yeah, we used to joke that one day she would jumpscare me

sleepwalking is such a fascinating thing to me, i have no idea how brains do it

It's kind of the reverse of sleep paralysis

The handbrake isn't on.

it's such a wild concept to me, that your unconscious mind can open doors and navigate you around obstacles

But it isn't really that odd when you think about things like...

Most of driving is done by reflex.

i guess it's kind of a basal ganglia habit thing, where your brain knows your habits and can repeat the motions even while your frontal lobe isn't plugged in

Or even walking to places you have been to often enough... Can you really say you were actively thinking about the path you were walking without moving your active brain to some other problem or conversation or whatever?

While we are awake, we do a LOT of things with our subconscious while we think of other things in the foreground.

i read a book called the Power of Habit about how brains form habits on the unconscious level, and there was a whole chapter about sleepwalking and how it shows that our brains have thousands and thousands of tiny non-conscious habits - the route you take to brush your teeth in the morning, the route you drive to work, etc. so theoretically a sleepwalker operating purely on habit could literally get dressed and walk themselves to work

brains are nuts

yep - I mean you avoid most hazards while sleepwalking because most of the time we do do that. Avoid tripping over things without thinking, etc.

It's very wierd.

that opens so many cans of worms about free will

The thing that I always stick on with that is thinking about thinking about thinking.

but then is the thinking a habit

conspiracy music

Yes, but why provide the ability to wonder why you can think

to torture us, probably :p

There seems to be no limit or reason for making up, or thinking about, or even actually finding out about impractical or creative things.

And it's not a very subconscious task... it requires the active part of our brain..?

I find that odd.

True. So to some extent that part is definitively conscious and not unconscious.

Hmm - can people be subconsciously creative?

And yet sometimes sleepwalkers seem to think too?

and there's the whole thing about how you can have thoughts "on the backburner" where they are just simmering in your subconscious, not being actively considered

True - but there is a way in which I feel that you don't solve the thoughts that are there... but you do seem to come back to them with new paths forward.

but you've probably had it where you put something on the backburner and then hours later, you suddenly think of something amazing related to it, which must have been non-conscious on some level since you weren't actively brainstorming. it's like your brain came up with it without your input. which feels like that should be classified as non-conscious?

I think that may be almost because you are holding something in a place where you are sort of testing all the things going through your awareness against that problem... and when something fits it is brought back to your attention..? Hm - that seems like some dodgy work.

Who knows?! I don't understand me :)

jeez, brains are weird :p

definitely

it's also neat to think about how every brain is different and my brain could work so differently from your brain, and i would never be aware of it.

which is kinda cool in a way

it's like the whole "my color red might not be your color red"

everyone's brain is physically different in the specific way it has been shaped by the experiences recorded in it.

which is already a thing difficult to comprehend...

we got so philosophical and i don't know where it started :p

subjective qualities are another layer altogether... and go back to the difficulties and fascinations people have when someone else's opinions or wants or needs or behaviours are different to their own... Queue being either fascinated or repelled.

As a layer of distraction :3

you distracted me from being afraid to sleep and now i'm sleepy. drat

was this your evil plan :p

:3 all the better to get you rested before a game tomorrow, 'borgling.

i've been played

muhahaha

curse you, Graylocke! curse youuuuu

zzzzzzz

nightnight

sleeps well, dreams nice :)

good night evil mick :p

tailhugs

:3 evil in a good way

@PrinceNorthLæraðr I like Pokemon too; I'm on Showdown basically every weekend. I'm more of a casual player; I don't even know how to come up with movesets/spreads so I just use the Smogon website. Still though, Showdown is fun.

Okay I do have to say, the polar makes cool shapes

Like really pretty graphs :P

That's actually the one thing I remember about them

Leaving you to study now; don't want to bother you, I just agree

LEavikng so you can study i mean

I've been out of school for years